Church

[Introverted1293]

Does a person really need to go to church to follow God? And if so, what about people who fail to make connections in church?

People are always telling me that we were not to meant to live a Christian life alone. But I do notice that just because you go to church, doesn't mean you are living your faith among believers. Church can be a lonely place for some people.

And what about people who struggle with same-sex attraction? I am not talking about people with gay pride. I am talking about someone who believes what the Bible says about homosexuality and wants to live according to the principles of the Bible, but they have same-sex attraction, and are not proud of it, but is honest about it. The church can be a lonely place for people like that because a lot of people are uncomfortable with them.

It's not fair to tell them that they have to go to church, while they get treated like they are toxic waste. Christians idea of loving them would to say hi to them, and then just leaving them alone. I am okay with not going to church and staying home. But every time I hear Christians tell me that I am wrong for not going to church, I am hearing "you have to come to church and love us, even though we are uncomfortable around you."

Now, you can ask if I am actually loving the way that I say that Christians aren't. The answer is no. And I may not do what I am saying that Christians don't do. I get that. But I am not upset with not being loved in the church; and I am not telling them that they have to love me. But they are saying that about me. I am okay with staying at home and watching preaching. In fact, my life is happier when I stay at home. I am not telling them that they should love me. I am simply saying that they don't do what they are telling me to do. I still consider Christians as people of God and the Bride of Christ. But if they are not going to do what they are telling me to do, then stop preaching at me and telling me that I should go to church. No one here on Christian Forum is doing that. I am just venting about people that have preached at me.

Again, I get the speech "Christians are not meant to live their Christian life solo. They are meant to live their Christian life with other believers." Well, like I said, just because I am in church, doesn't mean I am living my faith among believers. It can still be a lonely place for a believer, especially for some that struggle with same-sex attraction.

So, please be blunt and tell me why is it still wrong for me to not go to church if I don't make connections in the body. I won't argue with you. I am actually afraid that I am going to be one of those people that God says, "I am sorry. I never knew you." Because I refuse to go to church.​

 

[royal priest]

You are right about there being a difference between attending church and actually being a part of Christ's body. True church integration is just as much ministering to others as it is being ministered to.

 

[public hermit]

Hey bud, my heart goes out to you. God's love for you transcends the failures of those who claim the Name. Ultimately, the "church" consists of the ones who love as he loves us. They may not all be in the same space at the same time, but they are one. If you have not found that gathering who loves you and it shows, then do what you have to do. But, always know they are out there and they are with you, even if you're not in the same space. We are not only united to Christ, but also to each other. And, who knows, maybe one day you'll find the right gathering, the right community, where you are treated as the child of God that you are. Until then, may the grace and love of our Lord carry you.

 

[Introverted1293]

Hey bud, my heart goes out to you. God's love for you transcends the failures of those who claim the Name. Ultimately, the "church" consists of the ones who love as he loves us. They may not all be in the same space at the same time, but they are one. If you have not found that gathering who loves you and it shows, then do what you have to do. But, always know they are out there and they are with you, even if you're not in the same space. We are not only united to Christ, but also to each other. And, who knows, maybe one day you'll find the right gathering, the right community, where you are treated as the child of God that you are. Until then, may the grace and love of our Lord carry you.

You are right about there being a difference between attending church and actually being a part of Christ's body. True church integration is just as much ministering to others as it is being ministered to.

Thank you both. At first, I erased what I said, but I had it copied. So, then I decided to put it back. What you said was helpful. Thank you.

 

[Albion]

Again, I get the speech "Christians are not meant to live their Christian life solo. They are meant to live their Christian life with other believers." Well, like I said, just because I am in church, doesn't mean I am living my faith among believers.[FONT=verdana,Arial,sans-serif]...[/FONT]So, please be blunt and tell me why is it still wrong for me to not go to church if I don't make connections in the body.​

You have been told--or you have assumed--that fellowship is the reason for attending worship services with a congregation. Although the Bible verse that refers to believers not forsaking the gathering-together with other believers is well-known and often mentioned...that is only one reason why we have congregations.

If you separate yourself from an organized congregation, you also forego everything else that the congregation/assembly does. And all of that is supported by Bible verses, too!

Just to mention some of them, there are the sacraments. No church attendance, then no Lord's Supper. And there is the resolution of disputes. And also, there is instruction in the faith by a trained, duly called, and ordained minister.

Many of the people who say they don't need a church to attend also have the most doubts, uncertainties, and questions about what to believe and how to live. This is one reason why that happens.

As for the particular issues you addressed, same-sex attraction and not feeling welcomed, the various churches take different approaches to all sorts of things and each congregation has its own style, so anyone who is seeking can surely find an appropriate denomination. Do not fall into the habit of thinking that if something is upsetting about "church," then all of the hundreds of different ones, Catholic, Protestant, Orthodox, etc. are just the same.

 

[Introverted1293]

You have been told--or you have assumed--that fellowship is the reason for attending worship services with a congregation. Although the Bible verse that refers to believers not forsaking the gathering-together with other believers is well-known and often mentioned...that is only one reason why we have congregations.

If you separate yourself from an organized congregation, you also forego everything else that the congregation/assembly does. And all of that is supported by Bible verses, too!

Just to mention some of them, there are the sacraments. No church attendance, then no Lord's Supper. And there is the resolution of disputes. And also, there is instruction in the faith by a trained, duly called, and ordained minister.

Many of the people who say they don't need a church to attend also have the most doubts, uncertainties, and questions about what to believe and how to live. This is one reason why that happens.

As for the particular issue you addressed, same-sex attraction, the various churches take different approaches to that, so anyone who is affected by this issue can surely find an appropriate denomination. Do not fall into the habit of thinking that if something is upsetting about "church," then all of the hundreds of different ones, Catholic, Protestant, Orthodox, etc. are just the same.

Yeah, that is a bad habit of generalizing everybody. I do that a lot. That is a habit I need to stop doing. Thank you for your take on it. What you said is something I need to think about. God bless

 

[Hazelelponi]

Does a person really need to go to church to follow God? And if so, what about people who fail to make connections in church?

People are always telling me that we were not to meant to live a Christian life alone. But I do notice that just because you go to church, doesn't mean you are living your faith among believers. Church can be a lonely place for some people.

And what about people who struggle with same-sex attraction? I am not talking about people with gay pride. I am talking about someone who believes what the Bible says about homosexuality and wants to live according to the principles of the Bible, but they have same-sex attraction, and are not proud of it, but is honest about it. The church can be a lonely place for people like that because a lot of people are uncomfortable with them.

It's not fair to tell them that they have to go to church, while they get treated like they are toxic waste. Christians idea of loving them would to say hi to them, and then just leaving them alone. I am okay with not going to church and staying home. But every time I hear Christians tell me that I am wrong for not going to church, I am hearing "you have to come to church and love us, even though we are uncomfortable around you."

Now, you can ask if I am actually loving the way that I say that Christians aren't. The answer is no. And I may not do what I am saying that Christians don't do. I get that. But I am not upset with not being loved in the church; and I am not telling them that they have to love me. But they are saying that about me. I am okay with staying at home and watching preaching. In fact, my life is happier when I stay at home. I am not telling them that they should love me. I am simply saying that they don't do what they are telling me to do. I still consider Christians as people of God and the Bride of Christ. But if they are not going to do what they are telling me to do, then stop preaching at me and telling me that I should go to church. No one here on Christian Forum is doing that. I am just venting about people that have preached at me.

Again, I get the speech "Christians are not meant to live their Christian life solo. They are meant to live their Christian life with other believers." Well, like I said, just because I am in church, doesn't mean I am living my faith among believers. It can still be a lonely place for a believer, especially for some that struggle with same-sex attraction.

So, please be blunt and tell me why is it still wrong for me to not go to church if I don't make connections in the body. I won't argue with you. I am actually afraid that I am going to be one of those people that God says, "I am sorry. I never knew you." Because I refuse to go to church.​

Honestly, it's not about what "Christians" say about church, but what God says.

External Link to OpenBible.info

^^^ Just a list of relevant Scriptural verses.

Do we want to go? Not always, but it is for encouragement and uplifting one another so we don't fall into sin.

You have a place there, just as much as they do because there is something you also need to teach and exhort others to.

You don't have to openly share everything you struggle with, most people don't share everything. In all honesty I share more about my life online than I do in person... I think we all do.

For now, there are both tares and wheat in churches, and we all have to figure out how best to navigate that field. It must be difficult to hold traditional faith in a church full of the self proclaimed righteous, and I feel for you in this respect.

Perhaps hold one or two people you can trust in your confidence and leave the main at arms length concerning your personal struggles.

If people question your unmarried state, tell them the truth - you find it better for you to remain single, and don't invite more conversation on the topic. It's not unbiblical for some to remain single, so it's safe territory...

Your there for a purpose, and your not living in sin so there's no real need to share what is private - except for when you need someone to talk to, and that CAN be with someone you've met online who you see as a good Christian.

We live in a fallen world, and so we will see fallen people - and they need you as much as you need the body of Christ.

 

[Introverted1293]

Honestly, it's not about what "Christians" say about church, but what God says.

External Link to OpenBible.info

^^^ Just a list of relevant Scriptural verses.

Do we want to go? Not always, but it is for encouragement and uplifting one another so we don't fall into sin.

You have a place there, just as much as they do because there is something you also need to teach and exhort others to.

You don't have to openly share everything you struggle with, most people don't share everything. In all honesty I share more about my life online than I do in person... I think we all do.

For now, there are both tares and wheat in churches, and we all have to figure out how best to navigate that field. It must be difficult to hold traditional faith in a church full of the self proclaimed righteous, and I feel for you in this respect.

Perhaps hold one or two people you can trust in your confidence and leave the main at arms length concerning your personal struggles.

If people question your unmarried state, tell them the truth - you find it better for you to remain single, and don't invite more conversation on the topic. It's not unbiblical for some to remain single, so it's safe territory...

Your there for a purpose, and your not living in sin so there's no real need to share what is private - except for when you need someone to talk to, and that CAN be with someone you've met online who you see as a good Christian.

We live in a fallen world, and so we will see fallen people - and they need you as much as you need the body of Christ.

You are right about that. Thank you very much.

 

[Hazelelponi]

You are right about that. Thank you very much.

We are all broken in our own ways... Christ came to call the sinner, not the righteous.

Welcome home...

 

[Introverted1293]

We are all broken in our own ways... Christ came to call the sinner, not the righteous.

Welcome home...

Thank you for the reminder. I did know that. I just needed to be reminded. Thank you and God bless.

 

[Of the Kingdom]

You are right about that. I just wouldn't know how to minister to people when I myself still am broken.

Reaching out in kindness to another person is often the best medicine for our negative feelings. You may be limited in what you can do, but a kind word to someone who is hurting will go a long way toward making both them and you feel better about yourselves.

I suggest you pray to God, ask Him how you can share His grace with another person; see if in time that doesn't lead to shared fellowship.

If you find one or a few fellow Christians you can be honest with in sharing your walk with God, that will be more important than whether you attend a formal Christian service. Nevertheless, I would encourage you to seek churches that are more welcoming of the hurting, and be part of the welcoming committee there if you are able.

 

[Introverted1293]

Reaching out in kindness to another person is often the best medicine for our negative feelings. You may be limited in what you can do, but a kind word to someone who is hurting will go a long way toward making both them and you feel better about yourselves.

I suggest you pray to God, ask Him how you can share His grace with another person; see if in time that doesn't lead to shared fellowship.

If you find one or a few fellow Christians you can be honest with in sharing your walk with God, that will be more important than whether you attend a formal Christian service. Nevertheless, I would encourage you to seek churches that are more welcoming of the hurting, and be part of the welcoming committee there if you are able.

Thank you for the advice. I will pray. God bless you

 

[honestpanda]

I understand where you are coming from, I have failed to make connections with people at my church and it is not that I am an introvert. More so, just like you experience they lack love for everyone. They choose who they want to love. I struggled so much with this at the beginning of attending, just like you, I wanted to leave.

The church talked so much about how they are loving and I am like to who? It ain't me. My experiences have been exhausting with people at the church I am going to and it has made me better.

When I was so sad about the expected love that I was not receiving, God spoke to me and told me that I need to show the love that I wanted from others. That I need to push pass what I see and see them how He sees them.

Now, it is a challenge for me, because some people smh. I love my fellow brothers and sisters and I had to realize I need to work hard at giving it. Prayer works for sure, not just pray for them but pray for yourself as well. Be honest in prayer, tell God how it is and come out of prayer feeling refreshed and ready to love those people.

Also about you being attracted to the same sex. I have learned that attraction is not a bad thing, but the enemy chooses to pervert it. You might like their personality, you might like the way they dress, talk, look or smell. With these simple attractions, the enemy tries to tempt us to think more of it. When you are attracted to someone that might be someone you need to minister or probably has something for you.

Is this something you have thought about foe awhile?

 

[Introverted1293]

I understand where you are coming from, I have failed to make connections with people at my church and it is not that I am an introvert. More so, just like you experience they lack love for everyone. They choose who they want to love. I struggled so much with this at the beginning of attending, just like you, I wanted to leave.

The church talked so much about how they are loving and I am like to who? It ain't me. My experiences have been exhausting with people at the church I am going to and it has made me better.

When I was so sad about the expected love that I was not receiving, God spoke to me and told me that I need to show the love that I wanted from others. That I need to push pass what I see and see them how He sees them.

Now, it is a challenge for me, because some people smh. I love my fellow brothers and sisters and I had to realize I need to work hard at giving it. Prayer works for sure, not just pray for them but pray for yourself as well. Be honest in prayer, tell God how it is and come out of prayer feeling refreshed and ready to love those people.

Also about you being attracted to the same sex. I have learned that attraction is not a bad thing, but the enemy chooses to pervert it. You might like their personality, you might like the way they dress, talk, look or smell. With these simple attractions, the enemy tries to tempt us to think more of it. When you are attracted to someone that might be someone you need to minister or probably has something for you.

Is this something you have thought about foe awhile?

Well, I have always been attracted to men; and I am ashamed of my attraction. But I also have this fear of God rejecting me because I do not belong to a church congregation.

 

[Of the Kingdom]

God will never reject you just because you do not belong and/or attend a church. However, if you do not find other Christians you can fellowship with, your spiritual growth may be seriously impaired.

If you are able to pray regularly and with an honest heart, seeking to understand and cooperate with God's will, and to read and study the Bible regularly, you will be able to limit the damage. You will also be more likely to eventually find good Christian fellowship.

 

[Sketcher]

Does a person really need to go to church to follow God? And if so, what about people who fail to make connections in church?

People are always telling me that we were not to meant to live a Christian life alone. But I do notice that just because you go to church, doesn't mean you are living your faith among believers. Church can be a lonely place for some people.​

I go to a big church. Unlike a small church where everyone knows everyone, you have to actively seek out community. But going to the church gets you to the people after the service who can put you in contact with small groups that can provide that community, and it also facilitates service events where you can get to know people you are serving alongside.

Also, there is just something special about collective worship that is good for your faith. Not all of the songs will be perfect, but they don't have to be for you to enjoy this. If you can pick out what you believe and sing it, that is helpful and God of course is honored.

And what about people who struggle with same-sex attraction? I am not talking about people with gay pride. I am talking about someone who believes what the Bible says about homosexuality and wants to live according to the principles of the Bible, but they have same-sex attraction, and are not proud of it, but is honest about it. The church can be a lonely place for people like that because a lot of people are uncomfortable with them.

It's all about being smart about who you tell. The SSA Christian in my small group told us, but he hasn't told the whole church yet. He's selective about which coworkers and extended family members he tells. It's his life, he can do this at his pace. We also do hang out together, hang out nights are something the group does semi-regularly. I hope you can find a similar group. Everyone in my group found it through some sort of church involvement.

So, please be blunt and tell me why is it still wrong for me to not go to church if I don't make connections in the body. I won't argue with you. I am actually afraid that I am going to be one of those people that God says, "I am sorry. I never knew you." Because I refuse to go to church.

If you want something blunt, I'll repeat what a missionary to Christians in persecuted lands shared at a speaking event: Don't do to yourself what persecuting governments do to Christians in their country.

They deprive Christians of the freedom to meet together openly and publicly.
They deprive Christians of the right to openly worship God in song.
They deprive Christians of the right to freely speak the truths from Scripture to each other.

In those countries, bringing someone to church or your small group is a real risk. You don't know if that person is a seeker or a government informant, who will report you and bring the authorities down on the whole gathering.

Satan works to bind Christians and the church in those ways overseas. Don't give him freebies here.

 

[Introverted1293]

@Sketcher

You said, Satan works to bind Christians and the church in those ways overseas. Don't give him freebies here.

Thank you for everything you just said. But this was something that I needed to hear, or I should say read. I won't give him that. Thank you

 

[Introverted1293]

God will never reject you just because you do not belong and/or attend a church. However, if you do not find other Christians you can fellowship with, your spiritual growth may be seriously impaired.

If you are able to pray regularly and with an honest heart, seeking to understand and cooperate with God's will, and to read and study the Bible regularly, you will be able to limit the damage. You will also be more likely to eventually find good Christian fellowship.

Thank you so much. I needed that.