Church conflict, and how to love in an argument

[2PhiloVoid]

Not so far, but all the discussion is helpful for me to ponder, thank you.

If anything, I'll pray about it with you over here where I'm at. I know that for this kind of issue to be addressed, it'll have to emerge at the grassroots level from among your church members, and it'll need to be something the Lord will motivate them to move on.

 

[The Liturgist]

Also, what about a leadership and parish management course? This could be a “retreat in place” due to Covid travel restrictions. Or, have someone who specializes in conflict resolution and prevention, ideally in churches, even more ideally in Anglican churches, give a talk?

I also think you should try to find out why they are so worried about a conflict, because knowing that could help you to better equip your team to avoid it.

 

[Paidiske]

If anything, I'll pray about it with you over here where I'm at. I know that for this kind of issue to be addressed, it'll have to emerge at the grassroots level from among your church members, and it'll need to be something the Lord will motivate them to move on.

Much appreciated! And this is why I'm so glad that they have raised this as an issue, and they have voted to treat it as a priority; it isn't coming from me, but from their genuine desire to love one another better. And ísn't that just a joy!

 

[tall73]

Shucks, thanks.

I guess I'm not really sure what it is driving that request, and how best to tackle it. (I'm still very new in this parish, only got here last November). It seems to me that on the whole they actually do conflict well. There's no big issue currently presenting as a locus of conflict. It seems to be more a reaction to historical conflict, and a desire not to fall back into that when the next issue arises? But because I don't know what the issue behind the issue is (if that makes sense), I'm a bit unsure.

Also, I think because this seems to be not an issue just to do with, say, the parish council and particular leaders, but a whole-of-congregation thing, and I'm not sure how to tackle an issue like that with that group when no matter what I do, I'll only ever get a portion of them participating.

If that makes sense?

Have there been contentious issues in the community or region that they want help navigating, or is it for sure just focused on the congregation?

 

[Paidiske]

Well, like everyone, I guess, they're affected by all kinds of social changes, but I'm not really sure whether it's that either. Even one of my parish council members was asking me "What's that about?" so even though it got a lot of votes that we should tackle it, I'm not the only one bemused as to why!

 

[tall73]

Well, like everyone, I guess, they're affected by all kinds of social changes, but I'm not really sure whether it's that either. Even one of my parish council members was asking me "What's that about?" so even though it got a lot of votes that we should tackle it, I'm not the only one bemused as to why!

Hm, that does add a wrinkle. If there was any particular member that suggested it I guess you could ask that person in particular.

 

[tall73]

I'm not the only one bemused as to why!

That may be a good sign. In the churches I arrived at that had pre-existing church wide conflict with historic roots, one I was aware of ahead of time, and the other did not disclose any of it. However, even in the one that did not disclose it, you could tell something was off about their interactions.

If a congregation had major conflict before, they would usually know why the issue came up.

If you have not noticed many problems in the months there already it hopefully is not a major congregation-wide issue.

Perhaps they are just wanting to work on areas of spiritual growth without a particular congregational impetus.