- May 14, 2017
- 3
- 1
- 55
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Protestant
- Marital Status
- Married
I truly need advice from other pastor's wives and/or godly mature women who are genuinely interested in giving wise advice, not merely in having something to say or in wanting to speak to something with which they have little or no experience.
I am the wife of a pastor in a small town. A younger, blonde woman has been attending our church and making it clear to myself and other women by how she acts that she is interested in my husband.
The first day I saw her, she came up to my husband at the door after worship. She brought herself - particularly her face - very close to him, beaming as if smitten, as in: "I have finally found you"! I was standing right next to him at the time. My eyes were riveted - I could not believe this was happening so blatantly, and hoped she had merely temporarily forgotten that pastors often have wives and families. I didn't see my husband's return expression except to say that I didn't see any facial movement out of the corner of my eye.
She continues to attend our church, and the next time she shook both of our hands, but looked unhappy. Not a pout, just unhappy.
The third time she refused to shake either of our hands, and shook instead the hand of a woman on staff who stands at the door with us so that she can get to know and be known by our congregation better.
I have not have not been able to attend the last two services. I usually attend on a regular basis. I do not have anyone in the congregation or staff in whom I can place trust to keep an eye on things (this town is a gossip factory) when I can't be there, so I don't know how she behaves when I'm not there, but my guess is she happily chats with him (I'm not there, after all). My husband has said that he has talked with her before worship, and says he doesn't remember her name.
Now, as virtually any pastor's wife knows, pastors tend to draw women like moths to a flame for a variety of "reasons", so this experience overall is sadly not new to me. What IS new is that she doesn't make it hard to figure out what is going through her mind, and she does this in church. Most of my experiences with this type of situation have been outside of church.
Of course I pray about it, but I am very much in need of advice from pastor's wives or godly older women who have gone through similar situations. I try to keep an eye on her when I am at church and make a point to talk to her during church events, and for the most part I do well, except for the fact that during worship I sit in the front and she (conveniently for her) sits in the back. I am not known for moving around from seat to seat much, or for sitting with specific people (she sits alone in a pew), so to suddenly sit next to or near her would likely appear odd to those who don't know I have an issue with her/her behavior.
As in any marriage my husband and I have had our challenges through the years we've been married, and we love each other. I believe we will grow old together - we are in our 40s. She appears to be in her 20s or early 30s at most.
What should I do? If you have experienced a similar situation, what did you do, and what was the result?
I am the wife of a pastor in a small town. A younger, blonde woman has been attending our church and making it clear to myself and other women by how she acts that she is interested in my husband.
The first day I saw her, she came up to my husband at the door after worship. She brought herself - particularly her face - very close to him, beaming as if smitten, as in: "I have finally found you"! I was standing right next to him at the time. My eyes were riveted - I could not believe this was happening so blatantly, and hoped she had merely temporarily forgotten that pastors often have wives and families. I didn't see my husband's return expression except to say that I didn't see any facial movement out of the corner of my eye.
She continues to attend our church, and the next time she shook both of our hands, but looked unhappy. Not a pout, just unhappy.
The third time she refused to shake either of our hands, and shook instead the hand of a woman on staff who stands at the door with us so that she can get to know and be known by our congregation better.
I have not have not been able to attend the last two services. I usually attend on a regular basis. I do not have anyone in the congregation or staff in whom I can place trust to keep an eye on things (this town is a gossip factory) when I can't be there, so I don't know how she behaves when I'm not there, but my guess is she happily chats with him (I'm not there, after all). My husband has said that he has talked with her before worship, and says he doesn't remember her name.
Now, as virtually any pastor's wife knows, pastors tend to draw women like moths to a flame for a variety of "reasons", so this experience overall is sadly not new to me. What IS new is that she doesn't make it hard to figure out what is going through her mind, and she does this in church. Most of my experiences with this type of situation have been outside of church.
Of course I pray about it, but I am very much in need of advice from pastor's wives or godly older women who have gone through similar situations. I try to keep an eye on her when I am at church and make a point to talk to her during church events, and for the most part I do well, except for the fact that during worship I sit in the front and she (conveniently for her) sits in the back. I am not known for moving around from seat to seat much, or for sitting with specific people (she sits alone in a pew), so to suddenly sit next to or near her would likely appear odd to those who don't know I have an issue with her/her behavior.
As in any marriage my husband and I have had our challenges through the years we've been married, and we love each other. I believe we will grow old together - we are in our 40s. She appears to be in her 20s or early 30s at most.
What should I do? If you have experienced a similar situation, what did you do, and what was the result?