CF Singles Awards: 4th Edition Discussion Thread

[Miss Spaulding]

You're very welcome.

 

[Blank123]

I'm sorry Jennie if you feel like we're ganging up on you, but thats not what this is. Tone can be difficult to decipher online, but I don't believe anyone has been rude or snarky towards you. We've been honest with our thoughts and concerns. Its not a personal statement against you. Its a disagreement in how its handled. Period. But being told in response to just accept things as are or bow out... thats hurtful. Wouldn't it be better to discuss things out?

Sharon, suggestions have been made to the issues raised. No one has told Jennie not to be in the running. No one has told her she's doing an awful job. We brought up concerns. If thats not allowed then... how real is the fellowship in this event? Its an exercise in conformity and keeping mouths shut lest we disagree with someone and offend. True Christian fellowship is not afraid of disagreement. Its a chance to reason together and find a solution that works for everyone.

If thats not welcome here, then I'm very sorry to hear that.

 

[Obzocky]

Everyone needs to cool their socks down.

Whilst some comments came across in a completely uncalled for tone, these issues have been circulating since the first awards. Also this is the discussion thread, where people expect to discuss what they feel would genuinely improve the awards. Yes, you run them, but when you make a discussion thread so that the community can put forward their thoughts they expect it to be discussed. I do not agree with how some people have gone about airing their thoughts, but they were not doing so with the intention of dragging you down; people get snarky when they feel people are being ignored.

Things cannot stay the same, that's why we change the categories, that's why people start speaking up and wanting to change other things too. The longer things go on the more time people have to think about how they'd like to see things improved. People are making it a big deal because you do, sometimes, come across as very "no, I want it this way, end of discussion" type of person, even if you do not intend to. No one wants to remove the fun, they want to feel as if their comments are genuinely being considered and the community members who do want to put forward ideas are being listened to. This is for the community, you may have come up with the idea and you may enjoy running it but when community members have ideas it would be nice to see them being considered as otherwise people start wondering what the point of a discussion thread is.

I can see why Jennie feels upset, but I completely understand why others are getting frustrated. Yes, there may be a lot of private communication going on but the people who post in this thread who are not party to those conversations do not know what is going on. As you said, you can't please everyone, but you can put forward the issues mentioned by the most frequent issue raisers to the public vote and see what the majority think. That way all the moaning and groaning that makes you feel like everyone is ganging up on you would be quickly put out. You did the same with the frequency at which the awards should be run, did you not? It would be simple enough to do the same for others or just to discuss the logistics with those who are confused as to why things are the way you are.

No one has targeted Jennie, they have targeted the running of the awards and areas where they believe improvements could be made. This is not a school play ground, I should not be sitting here thinking this is remarkably similar to the times i've had to pull children aside and explain to one that their lovely idea is not excluded from constructive advice and they should genuinely consider the advice and thank them for bringing up their ideas, and to the other that whilst their advice is constructive they need to think about how they are coming across to others and that just because it's good advice does not mean the other person has to take it.

With that said: I do not want Jennie to feel ganged up on, I do not want things to change because she feels a small number of people are pushing her into it. Stepping back, cooling off and revisiting after a good sleep/day would be far better than reacting right now.

 

[Keri]

Or is that y'all are unhappy about the tallying of votes and whatnot? If that's the case, then stop complaining, leave off the subject, and don't bring it up again until you've come up with a solution to the problem.

.... we have come up with solutions. But they're immediately shut down.

Sure, I know tone on the internet is hard to convey, but I don't see how anyone has come across as rude or inconsiderate. I don't think there's a single person here who doesn't appreciate all of the work that is put into these awards.

But. This is a discussion thread afterall. Issues have been raised, solutions suggested, but things get immediately shut down. It's not just coming from one person either.

If the point of these awards is bringing people together and having fun, shouldn't the opinions of others be seriously considered and at least attempted to be integrated in?

If people are continually unhappy about certain things, I don't see these issues being dropped until change happens.

 

[Keri]

Shari and X said it better than I could have. I should just shut up. Apparently my tone doesn't come through accurately.

 

[TwistTim]

Am I missing something here?

This is to discuss what the awards are or are not going to be, when they will be done, and how they will look.

Instead it's become Open Season on Sunryse.

Frankly the "Christian Love" and "Christian Honesty" being displayed would have me quitting doing these altogether if I were her.

If you don't like how the awards are done, why not go make your own instead of tearing down someone who does something that is supposed to nice and fun for the CF Singles family?

Stuff like is why I walked away from CF before. Not saying I'm going to this time.

 

[Keri]

Am I missing something here?

This is to discuss what the awards are or are not going to be, when they will be done, and how they will look.

Instead it's become Open Season on Sunryse.

Frankly the "Christian Love" and "Christian Honesty" being displayed would have me quitting doing these altogether if I were her.

If you don't like how the awards are done, why not go make your own instead of tearing down someone who does something that is supposed to nice and fun for the CF Singles family?

Stuff like is why I walked away from CF before. Not saying I'm going to this time.

Just to put out there, she did include this in the OP:

and any other award related things y'all would like to discuss.

With that said, you do have a point.
I know I got a bit defensive when Ethie's wanting to be involved in something besides google searching photos was dismissed and that suggestions were not being considered at all.

I do have a tendency to get overprotective and my tone is not exactly sugar sweet.

I have voiced my concern, and I'm glad others are voicing theirs as well, but since it appears to be upsetting others, I will bow out. I've already asked to be removed from the actual award participation as long as they continue to be run like this, so I will go along with this decision and remove myself from any further discussion on this thread.

I'm sorry for upsetting Jennie, Sharon and Tim, and anyone else.
I hope this whole thing gets figured out.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Let me clarify here that I totally agree that if anyone as a problem or question, then yes, they should be allowed to bring it up and discuss it. Our say, as community members should be heard, but we can't go about it in a more kindlier fashion? I don't mean that everything needs to be sugar-coated here, but seriously...is this whole thing that big of a deal? As far as I can tell, those who have complaints here seem to be few, whereas the rest of the participants don't appear to have a problem with how the awards are handled. Wouldn't it have better and more discreet to discuss these 'issues' with the one in charge privately through PM? Call me weird, but I think it would have been better that way instead of making it all public on the thread for all to see (newbies included) and go, "Ehh. No thanks. I think I'll pass on the awards." ...But, as you say, this is a thread for 'discussion', so you can discuss as you darn well please.

I don't know, I suppose I'm just unable to understand why these issues exist, and over something so simple as the CF Awards. I don't get it. In my mind it's all just foolishness I guess.....maybe I'm just too laid-back.

Anyway. Having said all that, I love and enjoy interacting with just about everyone in this thread and I really hope this all gets resolved soon. I personally have no beef with how the awards have been handled, so for y'all's sake, I hope you're granted the changes you're looking for.

 

[Rhye]

I want to apologize. I feel as though this all started because I said I would like to do the tallying. I offered to help because I can only imagine how much time and work it takes. I've done research, corrected data, put things together and had a final result(s). Its an incredible amount of work and time. You put your heart, mind, and soul into it. Though the awards are not nearly as rewarding as something you have go out and find on your own then write a million page thesis on it. LOL. However, I understand how Jennie would feel proud of it and happy doing that. Plus its the Ethnographer in me. I want to understand how people work, I want to find data, and help.

And Keri I get defensive with a lot of the women here, so I understand why you felt that way.
And Jennie, I am sorry you have felt such a way. I hope tomorrow morning you are feeling better!
In the end we all have to open our hearts, not say this or that out of angry (or frustration) in which we will later regret.


Seriously I re-read what I wrote 10 times, my brain is hurts. I hope it makes sense.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

I'm sorry for upsetting Jennie, Sharon and Tim, and anyone else.
I hope this whole thing gets figured out.

Honestly, I'm not even mad or upset over this. My mind is just reeling a bit by how quickly things went south.

You're an opinionated person, Keri, and so am I. ...Opinionators butt heads sometimes. It's okay. Lol.

 

[TwistTim]

I'm not mad or upset.

I just agree with Sharon, there were better ways of handling this, like PMing about it.

Perhaps I was a little harsh in how I wrote out what I did, I lacked grace when I was talking about what I had seen. The very thing I was accusing others of.

And that's why you gotta be careful about pointing a finger out at someone, One calls God to judge, and a three-fold point is made at you.

 

[Paulie079]

It is true that it's difficult to catch tone when you're just reading posts. It's really easy to insert a tone that wasn't intended. With that said, let's all make an effort to post with grace and care

I was going to say something to you again somehow, Jennie, but ended up talking on the phone for a few hours with my sister, but what I wanted to say is basically what Shari first said. I never meant to be a part of ganging up on you. It just seemed like those who were upset/frustrated with the situation weren't getting through and I thought I would try and help a bit. To be totally honest, whether or not the CF Singles Awards happens or not isn't a huge concern of mine, but I see that it does impact others' feelings when they're either excluded or ignored. It seemed to me as if their concerns were legitimate and not outrageous in any way, and so because of that I saw a great opportunity for compromise to keep this thing fun.
The best way to keep it fun is not to have one person giving the final word on every issue, but to allow all of those who want to be involved to have their opinions heard and weighed equally. There is a lack of respect in not giving the time of day to people's thoughts and suggesting that their only other option is to bow out of the awards. It's not something that I'm at all mad or angry about, but just an observation that I know to be true.
Also, Ethie, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be a part of the process. I can understand if you may have come across with a hostile attitude in some place (although I never saw it), but don't be sorry just for wanting to be a part of the fun.

(If you don't want to read the above, here's the most important part )
Here is what I propose: If we're going to make this thing happen, those who would like to take part in tallying votes or other aspects of organization should voice that desire here (very much including Jennie ). Once those people have been established, one of them should create a thread with a poll asking whether or not the organizers of the Singles Awards should be eligible to be included in the voting. A deadline can be made for that poll/thread to close and we can go from there based on the decision of CFers' votes. As for award suggestions, those can continue to be suggested here and then a final list can be determined by the organizers.

Sound like a good plan?

 

[r035198x]

<opinion>

The biggest issue to iron out here is the tallying.

I still don't like too many people involved in tallying if they are going to be excluded because usually the same few people are voted for anyway so reducing the pool won't help.
However, allowing many people to tally also means that we don't have to exclude the talliers anymore since results would be cross checked*.

I'd still like for Jennie to coordinate everything though. I don't know anyone that's better at organizing events.
</opinion>


(*)This might have the ugly implication that there is some kind of distrust towards a one person tallier but it's really not that. It's just smoother if other people announce Jennie as a winner in a category than for herself to do it. This would go for the other talliers.

 

[Rhye]

Not multiple, just one! Two the most if anything.


Oh I don't know, it's getting tiresome, really.


I vote myself for most likely to not sleep when she should.

 

[Paulie079]

Not multiple, just one! Two the most if anything.


Oh I don't know, it's getting tiresome, really.


I vote myself for most likely to not sleep when she should.

So far we have one vote for you and one for me

 

[Rhye]

So far we have one vote for you and one for me

You realize I will win.
Except I hope I don't.

 

[PinkSweetart]

So I'm just going to go off rail here... well, actually... it's on the rail, but has nothing to do with the current creative discussion going on. Lol.

I haven't read all the categories, but if the awards do go on, I really don't like the "Most likely to be single another year" category. I personally wouldn't mind being voted for in this category, but I feel others could get hurt by it... no?

I mean... most people struggle with this. It's like saying... "Hey, guess what? I think you're going to remain single this year and the next."

Just my thoughts. If everyone else likes it, well then fine by me.

Y'all can continue with your current discussion.

 

[Dzhessika]

So I'm just going to go off rail here... well, actually... it's on the rail, but has nothing to do with the current creative discussion going on. Lol.

I haven't read all the categories, but if the awards do go on, I really don't like the "Most likely to be single another year" category. I personally wouldn't mind being voted for in this category, but I feel others could get hurt by it... no?

I mean... most people struggle with this. It's like saying... "Hey, guess what? I think you're going to remain single this year and the next."

Just my thoughts. If everyone else likes it, well then fine by me.

Y'all can continue with your current discussion.

I agree 110 % it's something i've been struggling with for a while.

 

[TheUnforeseen]

Yeah, knock it off with them negative waves man. Don't be a weird sandwich. Why don't you dig how beautiful these awards can be? Make the awards positive man, bring on the postive waves!

 

[RayofSun]

Hokey doodle dandy, this thread has went crazy.

Let me just admit that I haven&#8217;t read this entire thread. I&#8217;ve skimmed many and thoroughly read only a few posts. But, I just wanted to pop my head in and add in some thoughts that might be helpful.

I think that everyone wants to have a great award ceremony. I know that in past I, and many others have enjoyed it. So, it only makes sense that others want to join in and even be a part of the creation. Multiple award creators. Multiple Tally&#8217;ers. I can see so many CF&#8217;ers jumping at a chance to join in the CF Award Committee (The CAC )

However, I do understand why Jennie would feel attacked and upset. In the past she has worked really hard and has a few times been met with comments about the ballots being miscounted and people questioning her for cheating. So, perhaps the suggestion of multiple Tally&#8217;ers implied to Jennie that we really don&#8217;t trust her and now need to double check her work. I have a big feeling that wasn&#8217;t the intent of Ethnog or any of those who suggested helping with the ballots and awards. But I just bring this up because it&#8217;s the first thing that popped into my mind, and so I wonder if it crossed Jennie&#8217;s mind as well. And if that&#8217;s the case, maybe understanding each other would help us settle this quicker