- Jul 15, 2014
- 11,086
- 12,077
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- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
Dear single CF ladies (surely single by choice alone? ^_- ), may I ask for your wisdom regarding a female friend of mine? After all, you will surely know your own hearts better than any guy can know.
I have known a girl named Jessica long ago through another forum community way back in 2007 through 09, approximately. We kept in scarce communication since 09 outside of the forums, but started speaking again fairly regularly through gmail and texting over the past two years now. In those forums way back when, some people like myself sort of continued a story in and of itself amongst the members. Jessica took on the persona of Mabrina the good queen of fairykind, and I was, of course, Sarah's Knight, personal protector of the Queen and all other fairies from more "evil" members of the place. We had a lot of fun back in those days, together, she, I, and many other forum members I still miss leaving behind a few years ago even today. In private, I spoke with Jessica about many things, including RPG video games like Final Fantasy since she, too, was a gamer. And of course, I was accustomed to talking sweetly to her as I would my other female friends.
But then, ... things have changed. ... Drastically.
I was shocked and greatly flattered, and I dare even say troubled, to hear Jessica confess to have romantic feelings for me, the other day. Not in person but in text, I mean. And I do not know how to continue treating her, now, as I fear that it is my fault, somehow. That the way I try to be around girls in general has misled her. I never intended to do that, trying to charm every girl I know and befriend romantically. I really don't. But that's how it is, now. And it seems Jessica has felt this way for a while, perhaps even as far back as when we a part of the past forum community. ... And thinking it about it, I actually kind of feel bad for saying that, too, in itself - that I fear I misled her - as I wonder if I am secretly insulting her a little as though I am saying she is not enough in touch with her emotions to love me maturely. But I don't mean to say it like that.
It's just I find it coincidental that she confessed her feelings almost immediately after I told her I loved her in text. But I meant it in the kind of way that a devoted friend, a brother, would say to a sister. Especially in relationships between believers. I've been trying to be there for her through depressing and lonely times she is experiencing lately, you see, and I guess I just wanted to say I loved her in an encouraging way, to assure her that there are people in her life who try to be there for her. She asked me what I meant by "love" in that regard, and I explained it to her as such. But then that was when she said that she would be lying if she pretended to not have a greater love for me. And now, after I had to try to let her down gently, she says she feels regret in having said it at all. But I don't want her to feel that way. I am certainly no one worth pining over, but I would hate to think of her as regretting expressing her care for someone, at the same time. It just seems so ... hopeless and cynical to be wary of even saying you love someone at all.
I love Jessica and dare say I would be willing to give my life for her if the time ever came that it would be necessary. But, I just cannot say she is the kind of girl I think I could love as my one, true Princess (my future wife, I mean).
And she has not replied back in a couple of days, and me being who I am I'm beginning to worry.
My dear CF ladies, have you any advice on how to go from here?
And honestly, do you think this all happened because I sometimes use such strong emotional language with my female friends, and that me saying something like "I love you, Jessie" sort of subconsciously elicited a romantic response from her when she too may just feel the same kind of fond friendship towards me as well at heart?
I have known a girl named Jessica long ago through another forum community way back in 2007 through 09, approximately. We kept in scarce communication since 09 outside of the forums, but started speaking again fairly regularly through gmail and texting over the past two years now. In those forums way back when, some people like myself sort of continued a story in and of itself amongst the members. Jessica took on the persona of Mabrina the good queen of fairykind, and I was, of course, Sarah's Knight, personal protector of the Queen and all other fairies from more "evil" members of the place. We had a lot of fun back in those days, together, she, I, and many other forum members I still miss leaving behind a few years ago even today. In private, I spoke with Jessica about many things, including RPG video games like Final Fantasy since she, too, was a gamer. And of course, I was accustomed to talking sweetly to her as I would my other female friends.
But then, ... things have changed. ... Drastically.
I was shocked and greatly flattered, and I dare even say troubled, to hear Jessica confess to have romantic feelings for me, the other day. Not in person but in text, I mean. And I do not know how to continue treating her, now, as I fear that it is my fault, somehow. That the way I try to be around girls in general has misled her. I never intended to do that, trying to charm every girl I know and befriend romantically. I really don't. But that's how it is, now. And it seems Jessica has felt this way for a while, perhaps even as far back as when we a part of the past forum community. ... And thinking it about it, I actually kind of feel bad for saying that, too, in itself - that I fear I misled her - as I wonder if I am secretly insulting her a little as though I am saying she is not enough in touch with her emotions to love me maturely. But I don't mean to say it like that.
It's just I find it coincidental that she confessed her feelings almost immediately after I told her I loved her in text. But I meant it in the kind of way that a devoted friend, a brother, would say to a sister. Especially in relationships between believers. I've been trying to be there for her through depressing and lonely times she is experiencing lately, you see, and I guess I just wanted to say I loved her in an encouraging way, to assure her that there are people in her life who try to be there for her. She asked me what I meant by "love" in that regard, and I explained it to her as such. But then that was when she said that she would be lying if she pretended to not have a greater love for me. And now, after I had to try to let her down gently, she says she feels regret in having said it at all. But I don't want her to feel that way. I am certainly no one worth pining over, but I would hate to think of her as regretting expressing her care for someone, at the same time. It just seems so ... hopeless and cynical to be wary of even saying you love someone at all.
I love Jessica and dare say I would be willing to give my life for her if the time ever came that it would be necessary. But, I just cannot say she is the kind of girl I think I could love as my one, true Princess (my future wife, I mean).
And she has not replied back in a couple of days, and me being who I am I'm beginning to worry.
My dear CF ladies, have you any advice on how to go from here?
And honestly, do you think this all happened because I sometimes use such strong emotional language with my female friends, and that me saying something like "I love you, Jessie" sort of subconsciously elicited a romantic response from her when she too may just feel the same kind of fond friendship towards me as well at heart?
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