Can you share your experience going alone to a church

[PJPAKER1]

Anxiety sweating has stopped me from going to church for literally 19 years. Since then I guess Lord has been graciously taken care of me by giving me a full time job with plenty of time off that has been going on for 9+ years. I am praying I can arrive at 10 year mark next year Lord willing. I am in my 40s, and involuntarily celibate, and never been married. Anxiety sweating makes it difficult for me to go to social situations including church. It also makes it difficult for me to attend some business meeting and meet new people at work initially. I do feel that lies and worries induced by demons trigger anxiety sweating in certain social situations. I am also very ashamed of being single and having been never married. To be honest with anyone who might care, I am also ashamed of my ethnicity as the stereotypes of Asian men bothers me a lot (this may be very politically incorrect). This could be a spirit of shame. I would hate to generalize, but my experience has been church people are not much different than people who don't care about Christianity. Church people have asked me why aren't you married, if you go to such and such another church, there are also young people congregating and etc.... If you are experiencing same or similar problem, I would like to know what your experience was going to a church.

 

[4x4toy]

Anxiety sweating has stopped me from going to church for literally 19 years. Since then I guess Lord has been graciously taken care of me by giving me a full time job with plenty of time off that has been going on for 9+ years. I am praying I can arrive at 10 year mark next year Lord willing. I am in my 40s, and involuntarily celibate, and never married. Anxiety sweating makes it difficult for me to go to social situations including church. It also makes it difficult for me to attend some business meeting and meet new people at work initially. I do feel that lies and worries induced by demons trigger anxiety sweating in certain social situations. I am also very ashamed of being single and having been never married. I would hate to generalize, but my experience has been church people are not much different than people who don't care about Christianity. Church people have asked me why aren't you married, if you go to such and such another church, there are also young people congregating and etc.... If you are experiencing same or similar problem, I would like to know what your experience was going to a church.

You have a common problem friend just get in there and do it , it gets easier each time , you owe no one anything and you are probably better than most .. Tell them jokingly you must have been married to your job all the years but your in the game and looking , you sound like a great and caring person . God bless you friend and may the Lord grant you your hearts desire ..

 

[“Paisios”]

I don't have advice, except maybe to just steel yourself up, go to church, then focus on God rather than the people there. I get very anxious in social situations and avoid most (except for church), so I sympathize even if I don't have an answer.

 

[tstor]

Anxiety sweating has stopped me from going to church for literally 19 years. Since then I guess Lord has been graciously taken care of me by giving me a full time job with plenty of time off that has been going on for 9+ years. I am praying I can arrive at 10 year mark next year Lord willing. I am in my 40s, and involuntarily celibate, and never married. Anxiety sweating makes it difficult for me to go to social situations including church. It also makes it difficult for me to attend some business meeting and meet new people at work initially. I do feel that lies and worries induced by demons trigger anxiety sweating in certain social situations. I am also very ashamed of being single and having been never married. I would hate to generalize, but my experience has been church people are not much different than people who don't care about Christianity. Church people have asked me why aren't you married, if you go to such and such another church, there are also young people congregating and etc.... If you are experiencing same or similar problem, I would like to know what your experience was going to a church.

You sound a lot like me (except you are much older lol). I was involuntarily celibate through high school. Well, not that I planned on being sexually active. It was more of I was open to the idea of a relationship and it never worked out. After graduation, I settled on being celibate and now I have been consistent in that mindset for about a year.

Like you, I am very much an introvert. I am socially awkward and do my best to avoid situations where I might have to speak with others that I am not comfortable with. As I have gotten older I have found that it is more difficult to avoid social situations. Between working a job, participating in the church, attending classes, etc. I always have people approaching me. Though I believe I am getting better at social situations now, honestly.

I have been to church by myself several times. If it is a larger church then you can slip in and out easily. I would recommend going to a smaller church so that you will be noticed. I know that sounds dreadful, but it will allow other people to do all the initial social interactions for you. They will approach you and ask questions about you. For me, that was always better then having to reach out to people on my own, as I am always too tempted to just walk out unnoticed.

Best of luck to you!

 

[Reformed2]

I'm a single man too but by choice. I'm a member of my congregation, very involved in my church and no one has ever even asked me why I'm single, if I want to remain single etc.. Don't let that stop you. ☺

As far as anxiety goes, you can always be a "pue potato" and go every Sunday and keep to yourself til you're comfortable. That way you get your worship and sermons in.

There's good churches out there, look for a community church, baptist, presbererian etc..

 

[HereIStand]

I was single until my early 30s, and found it awkward in social situations -- at church, work, and family gatherings. And I too remember sweating in church out of anxiety.
There are plenty of Christian women out there looking to meet someone. Maybe try online dating.
As for being Asian, the most feared fighter ever was a Chinese man,

 

[MustardSeeed]

To be honest with anyone who might care, I am also ashamed of my ethnicity as the stereotypes of Asian men bothers me a lot (this may be very politically incorrect). This could be a spirit of shame

that's terrible, it's not you who should be ashamed
this is a good post to read
Stereotypes, Generalizations, and Racism | Desiring God

 

[Kit Sigmon]

Anxiety sweating has stopped me from going to church for literally 19 years.
You do what you got to do...like myself I buy packets of body wipes, wear moisture-wicking clothes and or keep a change of clothing and anti-perspirant in your car(if need be)...use as necessary/replenish supplies.

Since then I guess Lord has been graciously taken care of me by giving me a full time job with plenty of time off that has been going on for 9+ years. I am praying I can arrive at 10 year mark next year Lord willing. I am in my 40s, and involuntarily celibate, and never been married. Anxiety sweating makes it difficult for me to go to social situations including church. It also makes it difficult for me to attend some business meeting and meet new people at work initially. I do feel that lies and worries induced by demons trigger anxiety sweating in certain social situations. I am also very ashamed of being single and having been never married.
Nothing to be ashamed of...singleness isn't a badge of dishonor...the Bible say that singles can serve the Lord more fully...1 Corinthians 7:32-34.
And they are spared these troubles: 1 Corinthians 7:28.
You can also read about many troubles of those who are married in threads on
this site...I've read a plenty of them!

To be honest with anyone who might care, I am also ashamed of my ethnicity as the stereotypes of Asian men bothers me a lot (this may be very politically incorrect). This could be a spirit of shame.
What this is...not pulling down imaginations/not renewing your mind on the
Word of God.

I'm a black woman and I've heard all the negative stuff being applied to all blacks ever since I was a little girl...I'm so blessed that I came to know the Lord when
I was little and really dug into what the Bible says about me being a child of God.
Feed yourself truth, truth of God's Word...read your Bible, memorize some
scriptures and reflect on them often.

Your real identity is: Child of God...more on that here:
Who Does God Say That I Am?
Believe it, live it out each day.

What else is needed: Put on the Armor of God daily.
Here's a bible study:Acts 17:11 Bible Study: The Full Armor of God
Read it/study it, believe it and apply it daily.

I would hate to generalize, but my experience has been church people are not much different than people who don't care about Christianity. Church people have asked me why aren't you married, if you go to such and such another church, there are also young people congregating and etc.... If you are experiencing same or similar problem, I would like to know what your experience was going to a church.

Remember something...None of us be perfect, only the Lord is perfect.
And we don't all mature in the faith at the same time.

I'm sure a lot of people in or outside of church have no doubt asked over the many years why you aren't married...it's common for that to happen.
I don't know any single/unmarried person who hasn't been asked that...I know family members and friends will usually wear the subject out...I know mine did!

People going to talk...thing is don't take it to heart...forgive them, if they be
pressing the issue, change the subject to talking about what you're reading
in the Bible or You can say: "I'm diligently searching for the right woman because
I want to one who is devoted to honoring marriage and God, they seem to be rare
finds these days....there's so much divorce you know."

Proverbs 18:22
"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD."

 

[4x4toy]

Anxiety sweating has stopped me from going to church for literally 19 years. Since then I guess Lord has been graciously taken care of me by giving me a full time job with plenty of time off that has been going on for 9+ years. I am praying I can arrive at 10 year mark next year Lord willing. I am in my 40s, and involuntarily celibate, and never been married. Anxiety sweating makes it difficult for me to go to social situations including church. It also makes it difficult for me to attend some business meeting and meet new people at work initially. I do feel that lies and worries induced by demons trigger anxiety sweating in certain social situations. I am also very ashamed of being single and having been never married. To be honest with anyone who might care, I am also ashamed of my ethnicity as the stereotypes of Asian men bothers me a lot (this may be very politically incorrect). This could be a spirit of shame. I would hate to generalize, but my experience has been church people are not much different than people who don't care about Christianity. Church people have asked me why aren't you married, if you go to such and such another church, there are also young people congregating and etc.... If you are experiencing same or similar problem, I would like to know what your experience was going to a church.

It's none of my buisiness of coarse , but mail order brides from other countries are thousands of women seeking husbands , many countries where women are still feminine with traditional values . Beautiful chaste women who dream of a caring mate that can provide for and love them .. If something ever happened to my wife God forbid because she is old school and perfect , I would probably try the mail order route first ..

 

[Reformed2]

Remember something...None of us be perfect, only the Lord is perfect.
And we don't all mature in the faith at the same time.


I'm sure a lot of people in or outside of church have no doubt asked over the many years why you aren't married...it's common for that to happen.
I don't know any single/unmarried person who hasn't been asked that...I know family members and friends will usually wear the subject out...I know mine did!

People going to talk...thing is don't take it to heart...forgive them, if they be
pressing the issue, change the subject to talking about what you're reading
in the Bible or You can say: "I'm diligently searching for the right woman because
I want to one who is devoted to honoring marriage and God, they seem to be rare
finds these days....there's so much divorce you know."

Proverbs 18:22
"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD."

Not neseccarily though; I'm a member of my congregation and am at church all the time. Have been for years. I'm 36 and no one has ever asked me why I'm single, asked if i want to remain that way etc. I'm a single dad and embrace my gift of singleness. But trust me when I say there are churches that leave single people alone, in fact most churches are filled with married people, kids, and the elderly. They don't know what to do with singles in their 30s.

 

[jabattler1976]

I think the people in the church should welcome you - not ask too
many questions. Is there a way that you can get connected with
others ? Do they have small groups where you can sign up ?
It will make it easier once you get to know a few people and meet
together in a smaller group....
Is there someone there who looks after new people?

 

[JCFantasy23]

I am also very ashamed of being single and having been never married. To be honest with anyone who might care, I am also ashamed of my ethnicity as the stereotypes of Asian men bothers me a lot (this may be very politically incorrect). This could be a spirit of shame. I would hate to generalize, but my experience has been church people are not much different than people who don't care about Christianity. Church people have asked me why aren't you married, if you go to such and such another church, there are also young people congregating and etc.... If you are experiencing same or similar problem, I would like to know what your experience was going to a church.

I'm sorry about that - my experience is so different. I mainly have gone to churches alone, and have never been married nor asked why I am not married. It never comes up! It may be a regional thing. I can imagine the question and situation wouldn't help with anxiety. Try to repeat to yourself that you are there for your growth with God first and foremost and maybe this will help quell some of the anxiety. Best wishes to you.

 

[Chaplain David]

I was saved before my wife so I went to church alone for a while. I also had a secondary reason and that was to find one that I liked and thought she might like after she accepted Christ.

One morning I felt drawn to a church that looked quite grand with pillars in the front and an old grave yard on the side. In total it looked very old and seemed quite imposing.

However, I went in and walked up to the front pew on the right and sat down. It was like I had come home. Quite a few of the congregation welcomed me. I think the older members were the ones who were the most friendly.

I'd suffered from GAD and Panic Disorder but in that Church, they became secondary to learning about and praising God. Worship there was led strongly by the Pastor. He had this anointing that manifested itself into making you feel like the most cared about person in the world when he was talking to you. His sermons also hit a chord, something inside, and often made me cry with joy and longing for the Lord.

Despite my problems with anxiety, I jumped into Christian Education classes and evening seminars. It was there that I began learning more about Christ, the Bible and other Christian topics. They can become more important than having our eyes on ourselves. Also, good therapy helps many with this author being one that benefited from it.

Don't let your illnesses keep you away from the communal worship of God and fellowship with your brothers and sisters in Christ. You might find that taking part in loving God together with others supercedes everything else. God bless everyone.

PS. It's taken a while but I no longer have all the anxiety disorders that were trying to rule my life. I truly believe if they can be taken from me they can also be taken from you.

 

[Alisa Bea Audiobooks]

My worldly answer is, we're all worried about what others are thinking.

'Using examples from God's creation, Jesus teaches that our Heavenly Father knows our needs and cares about them. If God takes care of simple things like grass, flowers, and birds, won't He also care for people who are created in His image? Rather than worry over things we cannot control, we should "seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things [the necessities of life] will be added to you" (Matthew 6:33). Putting God first will help overcome anxiety.'1

Go to church, brother. God has you.

1 www.gotquestions.org, What does the Bible say about anxiety?

 

[Tolworth John]

Check out the web sites for churches in your area, find a large multicultral cvhurch, if there is one, and attend that.
Often there are midweek meetings and you might find it easier to join a midweek ladies bible study. Getting to know people who attend the church will make it much more friendlier.
Otherwise arrive late and sit at theback and leave early.
There are often people with aversions to crowds, loud music, social anxiety slipping in and leaving early.