Can you marry a divorced woman?

[ThisIsMe123]

I couldn't help but to think, that the Bible was written by men (mostly), and back then....wives were treated my like property if anything, and I think this part of the Bible was written to stay in the narrative of, "She divorced me, but you single guys...stay away...she's still mine!"

Kind of like "If I can't have her, then you can't either!"

Just a theory.

THAT said, you do have to consider the time frame for which it was written.

 

[trophy33]

I couldn't help but to think, that the Bible was written by men (mostly), and back then....wives were treated my like property if anything, and I think this part of the Bible was written to stay in the narrative of, "She divorced me, but you single guys...stay away...she's still mine!"

Kind of like "If I can't have her, then you can't either!"

Just a theory.

THAT said, you do have to consider the time frame for which it was written.

I think your "theory" is not too good, because:
1. Married men created/allowed divorce (Moses and Jews)
2. Single men actually created rules that you cannot divorce (Jesus, Paul).

Instead of "if I cannot have her, nobody can", Jews were more "oh please, I do not want to be with her, give me a way how to send her away" and both Jesus and Paul tried to fix this mindset - "no, what you promised, you must keep".

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I think your "theory" is not too good, because:
1. Married men created/allowed divorce (Moses and Jews)
2. Single men actually created rules that you cannot divorce (Jesus, Paul).

Instead of "if I cannot have her, nobody can", Jews were more "oh please, I do not want to be with her, give me a way how to send her away" and both Jesus and Paul tried to fix this mindset - "no, what you promised, you must keep".

Yeah, but like I said....you have to consider WHEN the Bible was written, what was relevant then, is likely not relevant now. At least certain parts of it.
Esp. the re-marrying part.

This is why even Christians question it.
IE - "The Bible couldn't possibly couldn't mean I cannot re-marry after divorcing an abusive husband!"

With some of the replies here, even by the moderation, you do tend to question certain parts of the Bible, yes?

Like for instance, when I discovered certain friends that celebrating Halloween was sinful. I was like "What in the blazes?"

 

[ZephBonkerer]

Yeah, but like I said....you have to consider WHEN the Bible was written, what was relevant then, is likely not relevant now. At least certain parts of it.
Esp. the re-marrying part.

This is why even Christians question it.
IE - "The Bible couldn't possibly couldn't mean I cannot re-marry after divorcing an abusive husband!"

With some of the replies here, even by the moderation, you do tend to question certain parts of the Bible, yes?

Like for instance, when I discovered certain friends that celebrating Halloween was sinful. I was like "What in the blazes?"

In the days of Jesus, they taught you could divorce for any reason or no reason at all. Divorce is, and always was, a remedy to be used in the event of some serious sin that would be a material violation of the terms of the marital covenant. If divorce was there just so you can dump your wife whenever some pretty girl comes along, then marriage as we know it might as well not exist.

These days there are so many false teachings in the churches regarding divorce and remarriage. I think it's an embarrassment to the Faith as a whole.

"You can't divorce an abusive spouse"
Says who? Where is that written? What brain-dead idiocy is this!?

"Jesus and Paul said if you are divorced, you cannot remarry"
Jesus and Paul taught no such thing. Jesus taught against divorcing someone just to pursue another relationship. Paul taught at 1 Corinthians 7:28 that it is no sin to marry if you are unmarried for any reason, regardless of any prior marital status.

 

[RDKirk]

Paul taught at 1 Corinthians 7:28 that it is no sin to marry if you are unmarried for any reason, regardless of any prior marital status.

In that verse, Paul was talking about the consummation of marriage for the betrothed. To the people he was talking to, those were two very definite steps. Betrothal may have occurred years before consummation, and "marry" was specifically the consummation step. That's why verses 36-38 read so strangely to us talking about "his virgin." People often think it's talking about the woman's father, but it's talking about her betrothed husband. It's talking about a betrothed couple continuing to live "platonically."

 

[ZephBonkerer]

In that verse, Paul was talking about the consummation of marriage for the betrothed. To the people he was talking to, those were two very definite steps. Betrothal may have occurred years before consummation, and "marry" was specifically the consummation step. That's why verses 36-38 read so strangely to us talking about "his virgin." People often think it's talking about the woman's father, but it's talking about her betrothed husband. It's talking about a betrothed couple continuing to live "platonically."

It would make sense that Paul would render this advice to engaged couples in light of what was happening in those days. In normal times, there is rarely a good reason to delay a wedding indefinitely unless there are doubts regarding whether one's fiancée would be a suitable spouse. But can we safely say 1 Corinthians 7:28 is intended only for those people?

I've heard people claim that the "it is not sin" part is applicable only to those who were never married. Of course I reject that claim - and the circular logic that is often used to support that assertion - but I can't fairly put words in Paul's mouth as false teachers often do.

 

[trophy33]

Yeah, but like I said....you have to consider WHEN the Bible was written, what was relevant then, is likely not relevant now. At least certain parts of it.
Esp. the re-marrying part.

But you mention no reason why it is not relevant today. What changed?

 

[I's2C]

Divorce is not the unforgivable sin. When a person divorces after realizing the marriage is harmful to any of the family for 1 reason or the other; say abuse, no person should stay in a situation that could result in harm, rather it physical or emotional. That would not serve GOD or the individual in any way.

Once you repent of the divorce you are free to marry period. There is only one unforgivable sin and it cant be committed until antichrist shows his face and then only by the Election. Once you repent of a divorce and GOD accepts it you are longer married and therefore don’t have more than 1 marriage you are free. When you marry again it is 1 marriage the past is blotted away. That is gift of CHRIST blood that ALL your sins are washed away never to be heard of again after repentance. Go and sin no more marry and be happy; hopefully you make the right choice this time.

 

[trophy33]

Once you repent of the divorce you are free to marry period.

This is not biblical, though. There is no biblical teaching like "you can divorce, repent and remarry".

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
1 Cor 7:10-11

If somebody does not want to risk a bad marriage - do not marry (which is the apostolic advice, anyway). If you marry, you must deal with the trouble.

 

[I's2C]

This is not biblical, though. There is no biblical teaching like "you can divorce, repent and remarry".

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
1 Cor 7:10-11

Of course it is. To say CHRIST blood cant block out ALL sin is to say HE shed HIS blood for nothing. There is only 1 unforgivable sin, as I stated previously. GOD HIMSELF is a divorcee; and will remarry.

 

[trophy33]

Of course it is. To say CHRIST blood cant block out ALL sin is to say HE shed HIS blood for nothing. There is only 1 unforgivable sin, as I stated previously. GOD HIMSELF is a divorcee; and will remarry.

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
1 Cor 7:10-11

 

[I's2C]

Would you stay with a woman that has abused your children over and over; abused you physically and mentally where your life is up ended? GOD expects people to use a little common sense. It does no one any good to stay in any situation where harm is a final out come. Paul was speaking
1Co 7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

This is if they do not divorce, but a seperation and do not repent they are both still under bonds of matrimony. If either goes through the divorce and repent then they are a free person as if they never married.

 

[trophy33]

If either goes through the divorce and repent then they are a free person as if they never married.

This is not biblical. Its like saying that if you have a child with a lover and repent, its like you never had a child. Of course, the child is here to stay and you must care for it, properly.

Marriage is for life, this is biblical. If you do not want to risk a bad marriage, stay single - this is the apostolic solution to the problem. If you marry, you must deal with the trouble. You cannot undo it and live like nothing happened.

 

[I's2C]

This is not biblical. Its like saying that if you have a child with a lover and repent, its like you never had a child. Of course, the child is here to stay and you must care for it, properly.

Marriage is for a life, this is biblical. If you do not want to risk a bad marriage, stay single - this is the apostolic solution to the problem. If you marry, you must deal with the trouble. You cannot undo it and live like nothing happened.

That is in no way the same thing, a child is a gift from GOD; not all who are married have a child. There are some reason even under Mosaic law that you can divorce, fornication, rape, physical abuse; you do not stay in a marriage where you might end up dead 1 day. GOD does not want you to stay in a relationship that causes you harm. But I agree when you take the plunge make sure it is the 1, but man make mistakes and why we have atonement. You marry at a young age and realize it was a mistake and you not be miserable the rest of your life; unhappy marriage makes all around unhappy and is not healthy. Devorce -repent and you have a clean slate; GOD is a heart knower and knows if it is sincere or do it for lust. Between GOD and the individual. HE is the only judge and man should not judge. Just as CHRIST told the woman who had 7 husbands go and sin no more.

 

[trophy33]

That is in no way the same thing, a child is a gift from GOD; not all who are married have a child. There are some reason even under Mosaic law that you can devorce, fornication, rape, physical abuse; you do not stay in a marriage where you might end up dead 1 day. GOD does not want you to stay in a relationship that causes you harm.

If you are afraid of being killed in a marriage, do not marry. What so difficult about this concept? Marry only good guys or do not marry at all.

If you married and the other one changed and is dangerous, move away and use the protection of the state or of your family. But you are not free to remarry with another one. This is not biblical and its also quite silly, after such horrible experience.

You cannot repent from marriage, because marriage is not a sin, its a promise/vow. So you cannot erase it from your past with repentance. Like you cannot erase your children, parents, siblings etc, they will always be your family.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Of course it is. To say CHRIST blood cant block out ALL sin is to say HE shed HIS blood for nothing.

Good point, let's just say this is a sin, Jesus dies for our sins. So...there's that.

 

[RDKirk]

This is not biblical, though. There is no biblical teaching like "you can divorce, repent and remarry".

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
1 Cor 7:10-11

If somebody does not want to risk a bad marriage - do not marry (which is the apostolic advice, anyway). If you marry, you must deal with the trouble.

That verse is for Christians married to Christians and presumes both remain members of the Body of Christ...and probably even the same congregation (people seldom changed locations in those days, and a city had only one congregation).

Christians married to pagans are instructed in the following passage.

 

[trophy33]

Christians married to pagans are instructed in the following passage.

We cannot force somebody who wants to leave to stay. But there is no remarriage mentioned.

Edit: we cannot force others not to sin. But we are responsible for our actions - and Paul says in the text you are referring to:
To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If a brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her...But if the unbeliever leaves, let him go.
1 Cor 7:12, 15

It applies also today. If somebody really wants to divorce you, can you say "no" and stop it, in your legal system? I doubt that (not sure though). But it does not mean you can biblically have another wife. And you must not be the one that initiates the divorce.

 

[zoidar]

Divorce is not the unforgivable sin. When a person divorces after realizing the marriage is harmful to any of the family for 1 reason or the other; say abuse, no person should stay in a situation that could result in harm, rather it physical or emotional. That would not serve GOD or the individual in any way.

Once you repent of the divorce you are free to marry period. There is only one unforgivable sin and it cant be committed until antichrist shows his face and then only by the Election. Once you repent of a divorce and GOD accepts it you are longer married and therefore don’t have more than 1 marriage you are free. When you marry again it is 1 marriage the past is blotted away. That is gift of CHRIST blood that ALL your sins are washed away never to be heard of again after repentance. Go and sin no more marry and be happy; hopefully you make the right choice this time.

A question, how do you repent of divorce?

 

[ZephBonkerer]

This is not biblical, though. There is no biblical teaching like "you can divorce, repent and remarry".

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
1 Cor 7:10-11

If somebody does not want to risk a bad marriage - do not marry (which is the apostolic advice, anyway). If you marry, you must deal with the trouble.

You're dead wrong on a number of things. 1 Cor 7:10-11 is not a blanket ban on divorce and remarriage any more than Luke 18:22 is a ban on having money. The general rule is that you don't terminate a marriage absent some compelling reason - that is a material violation of the terms of the marital covenant. If you truly believe God expects us to stay married to someone who is vile, abusive, dissipated, or a cheater - then you seriously need to rethink your doctrine. Is that truly what you think of God!? Mere separation would not be an adequate remedy in many cases of serious sin.

Have you not read the words of Jesus at Matthew 5:17-18 and Luke 16:17? Does "one jot, one tittle, the least stroke of a pen" include Deuteronomy 24:1-4? It was the abuse of divorce to facilitate wife-swapping that Jesus condemned, not divorce and remarriage per se.

Also, have you also not read Paul's words at 1 Cor 7, verses 9 and 28? These verses make it clear that it is no sin to marry if you are unmarried, and "unmarried" means unmarried for any reason. There is no reason to believe these verses don't also apply to those who were divorced, and Paul made no mention of any such exception.

You are either married or you are not. It's that simple. Divorce ends the marriage just as death would - so if you have a valid divorce and have not remarried since, then you are unmarried. It's that simple. There is no biblical basis to the "still married in God's eyes" nonsense.

Marital vows are not a suicide pact. They can be terminated in the event of any material breach of the wedding vows (adultery, abuse, abandonment, drug use, refusal to provide sex, attempted murder, etc). It is asinine and brain-dead to assert that marital vows are binding and indissoluble regardless of how their spouses behave.

In a case of a troubled marriage, I usually recommend that divorce be treated as a remedy of last resort. I would not want to end a marriage if lesser remedies were feasible. But it serves no worthwhile purpose to deny divorce as a remedy in cases where the need to do so is compelling and where reconciliation is either impossible or inappropriate. Telling people that God would condemn them for seeking a divorce in such cases is blasphemous and slanderous to God.

In short, the marriage permanence heresy is just that: heresy.