ZephBonkerer
Well-Known Member
- Nov 14, 2022
- 441
- 152
- 47
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Divorced
Full disclosure: as you might have guessed, this stuff is a bit personal to me. Two years ago, I was ready to walk out of my marriage of 14 years as I was so incensed at my wife's treatment of me. But I didn't quite yet. My wife did agree to marital counseling, and I in turn withdrew my threat to divorce her. I sought every reasonable avenue to turn the marriage around. I also was careful to not make any onerous demands on her during this time. Yes, I was incensed, but I still felt an obligation to do right by her.
I also assured church leadership that I would only proceed with a divorce as a last resort. But if divorce turned out to be the only option available, then I would recognize no doctrine that said I was under any obligation to either put up with her treatment of me or to be condemned to celibacy for the rest of my life.
I remember the condemnation I received from other believers during this time. I was all "do you people think I have no right to demand good treatment or something!?" I even cursed out a few people when they kept pressing that marriage permanence nonsense - after I made it known in no uncertain terms that I would have none of it. It didn't matter how I conducted myself with my (now ex) wife and the therapist - to these people, I would be the villain no matter what. I have absolutely no use for such people.
Many people who promote the marriage permanence heresy have a way of being really pushy and obnoxious about it. Some are even adamant that you will lose your salvation if you remarry! They not only slandered me to my face - they blasphemed God while they were at it.
I also assured church leadership that I would only proceed with a divorce as a last resort. But if divorce turned out to be the only option available, then I would recognize no doctrine that said I was under any obligation to either put up with her treatment of me or to be condemned to celibacy for the rest of my life.
I remember the condemnation I received from other believers during this time. I was all "do you people think I have no right to demand good treatment or something!?" I even cursed out a few people when they kept pressing that marriage permanence nonsense - after I made it known in no uncertain terms that I would have none of it. It didn't matter how I conducted myself with my (now ex) wife and the therapist - to these people, I would be the villain no matter what. I have absolutely no use for such people.
Many people who promote the marriage permanence heresy have a way of being really pushy and obnoxious about it. Some are even adamant that you will lose your salvation if you remarry! They not only slandered me to my face - they blasphemed God while they were at it.
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