Call To Ministry

[letmeseeyourphone]

Edited. Deleted.

 

[Paidiske]

I was married when I had a call to ministry. My absolute commitment to my husband through the whole process is, my marriage comes first. If ever the ministry is damaging the marriage, then what I'm doing in ministry needs a rethink.

I think that's an important principle to set up straight up; it's not God vs. your wife; it's you and your wife working out together what serving God can look like in your marriage. Maybe your ministry won't be exactly what you imagine right now (I thought I'd be a prison chaplain! Which turned out not to be what God had in mind at all). But there will be a way forward, and you can't move in that direction until she's ready as well.

Think about it this way; there will be practicalities involved in entering ministry. You will need to change a lot in your life. You will need training and formation. All of that takes time. The first year-and-a-half or so after my call outwardly I wasn't doing much; but behind the scenes I was reorganising our finances, doing a lot of work so that when I left my job to go and study theology, we were in a position that could sustain that. There's no reason you can't start planning and putting your family in a good financial position (etc) now. You could even start some study - get yourself a software programme and start learning Biblical Greek, for example - which is preparing without it being too big a deal yet.

If that makes sense?

 

[LivingWordUnity]

The married life is a calling. So you already have a calling with that.

 

[PeterDona]

I have been in charismatic churches, and it is apparently not uncommon in those churches that a call to God involves putting aside your spouse. Even to the degree that they will divorce their ungodly spouse and marry a more godly one. Now this last sentence was meant to put the situation in black and white for you. I have seen things in charismatic churches that go beyond the line.

Marriage is of God, and must be honourable among all (hebrews 13:4).

Your wife may be rightly be worried about the church affiliation, however it seems that she still follows you to that church. That impresses me. You have a good wife.

I would put the word of the Bible before that dream you had. But maybe that is me. What kind of service would that be that would be hindered by your marriage?

 

[All4Christ]

Marriage is a way to work out your salvation together. It is a vocation - a calling, and a way to follow God.

Pray for God to lead you both. You can prepare for future ministry but still wait for God to give her that calling as well, should it be God’s desire for you both to be in that ministry. God’s will is not divorce. That is quite clear in Scripture.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

The title sums it up. The Lord has placed a strong (and VERY obvious) calling on my life to enter ministry. He has given me dreams, open visions, prophetic word from other brothers and sisters, and spoken to me directly (inwardly during prayer).

I have NO doubts about my calling and the mission he's placed me on.

However, my wife is not a strong Christian. She was raised Catholic, and they weren't even very involved in that. The Lord has built my faith over the last 5 years or so through his prophetic words coming true over and over again. The Lord took me from the road I was on in grand supernatural fashion, and placed me on the right path toward his ministry. (I was in a Christian cult and didn't know it, I was deceived). She has zero faith. And on top of that, she fakes faith, going along when I receive a word, vision, or dream and pretending she's totally down with it...until it comes time to actually "step out" in that faith, doing our part until it's time for God to do his. Then the world's gonna fall apart, in her eyes, when I start taking those first steps out on the water toward Jesus.

The Lord showed me in a dream about four years ago, that I would come to a time when it would look like I was going to lose my family, but in the end we would be stronger than ever. My wife (although she doesn't know it yet) is called to be at my side as I go down this road. She's called to ministry too, just doesn't realize it, and refuses to see it. I can't force anything, I have to leave this in the Lord's hands. My wife doesn't trust my judgement at all. And partially, rightly so. (I had an affair several years ago, I was addicted to painkillers that the VA threw at me like candy, and I got wrapped up in the Hebrew Roots cult). I totally understand that she has fear.

BUT...that doesn't change what the Lord has told me and shown me. He also told me that I was trying to dive deep, and there would be alot of people like "water wings" trying to hold me back. She resists any effort to attend any church full time. It's always a struggle. Has been for 17 years. Things are coming to a head because I'm involved in a charismatic church (which is where the Lord told me I need to plant my butt right now) and the power of the Holy Spirit scares her. She thinks it's another cult. Nevermind that I've been associated with them for 5 years now. But NOW that I'm starting to take my call seriously and taking small steps to implement as the Lord leads, the things attached to her are crying out. She went running back to our old church (that she hated and did everything she could to disrupt attendance there) crying that I'm crazy and "addicted to God." Unfortunately what I'm seeing from everyone around me is the unBiblical position that "family comes first." Before serving Jesus? The state of the church today saddens me.

I know my family is important. I love them dearly. I DO NOT want to lose them. But I also absolutely refuse to let God's call pass me by. I'm prepared for the worst if it's necessary. Unfortunately my wife's trying to bring it.

What say you guys? I could use some input. Please, if your answer is "you can't minister if your home's not in order"...save it. I know that. This is part of that process. The Lord is shaking my home and putting it in right alignment. I have faith that ultimately, I will minister in a manner pleasing to the Lord.

I just don't know if my wife will be along for the ride. Some things I have strong faith with, but I'm still human and struggle with others. Thank you.

Your first ministry is to your wife and kids. Deal with it. And get some solid counseling on all of this before you destroy your marriage in the name of a delusion you just happen to have at the moment.

Yes, I know what it feels like to be "held back" by a spouse. But, just because you have a desire to serve the Lord, and just because you THINK God is talking to you, doesn't mean He really is.

Again, get some help and deal with it in a proper, sober, and responsible way that show esteem for your wife and who she is. You're sin is to discount her straight off the bat, and if anything, you're just showing pride. Do you really think the Lord is going to use you if what is really driving you is pride and addictive desire for satisfaction?

2PhiloVoid

 

[Greg J.]

Usually when God does something like that, he doesn't give a time frame. Missionaries often spend years preparing to live where God has called them to. In trying to understand God, it is a sure sign that you are being influenced by the effects of sin or Satan if you are feeling time pressure to get something done quickly.

While God himself should be the most important thing your life, the work you do for him is below several other priorities, and the highest priority one is your spouse. It is even more important than caring for your kids and caring for your family (which obviously you shouldn't neglect). God is making the two of you into one. Your wife belongs to you and you belong to your wife now.

and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ? (Matthew 19:5, 1984 NIV)

Both you and she should be sacrificing what you want for the other (and she isn't accountable to you to do so—if that was the situation, it would leave an opening for Satan).

 

[R. Hartono]

In the name of Jesus may your wife's heart is opened to the truth of Jesus's resurrection and salvation, and allow you to serve God, Amen.

 

[All4Christ]

Also, stating that your wife has zero faith and that she fakes faith - especially in a public forum - definitely does not show maturity in your spiritual life. Focus on your marriage. Love her as Christ loves the Church. Put her needs before your own. Be willing to die for her and pray for her. Focus on building your marriage - and that will help you in future ministry. That doesn’t mean that you won’t do the ministry...but it may not be right now. Even if she wasn’t a Christian - you are not free from your commitment.

 

[A_Thinker]

Your first calling ... is to see to your wife.

1 Corinthians 7

32b An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided.

God has no desire that you leave your wife in the dust ... as you speed on into ministry.

You have ... to bring her along with you.

And that may mean ... slowing things down ... so that she can keep up.

Why don't you make her (your wife) your first ministry objective ? If you win her ... it will give you good preparation for a successful ministry.

And I would pretty much guarantee that any ministry you might hope for ... will be hindered by having a wife who is either not on board ... or has left you ... because you left her spiritual needs unmet.

And as I'm thinking of it ... "diving deep" sounds more indicative of a more intense application of yourself to Bible study ... rather than a launching into a new ministry.

 

[letmeseeyourphone]

Edited. Deleted.

 

[letmeseeyourphone]

Your first calling ... is to see to your wife.

1 Corinthians 7

An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided.

God has no desire that you leave your wife in the dust ... as speed on into ministry.

You have ... to bring her along with you.

And that may mean ... slowing things down ... so that she can keep up.

Why don't you make her (your wife) your first ministry objective ? If you win her ... it will give you good preparation for a successful ministry.

And I would pretty much guarantee that any ministry you might hope for ... will be hindered by having a wife who is either not on board ... or has left you ... because you left her spiritual needs unmet.

And as I'm thinking of it ... "diving deep" sounds more indicative of a more intense application of yourself to Bible study ... rather than a launching into a new ministry.

I cannot minister to my wife. She won't allow it. Refuses to read, pray, or discuss anything with me. Ministering to her is no longer an option. Even the marriage counselor picked up almost immediately on the fact that her problem is not from me, it comes from her lack of relationship with Jesus Christ. She is obviously hostile toward Christianity, although will deny it point-blank.

 

[Paidiske]

I cannot minister to my wife. She won't allow it. Refuses to read, pray, or discuss anything with me.

Yes, you can. This definition of "minister" is too narrow.

How can you love your wife and serve her? Not with the agenda of her conversion or sanctification, but just for who she is right now? That is your ministry to her.

 

[letmeseeyourphone]

Edited. Deleted.

 

[letmeseeyourphone]

Your first ministry is to your wife and kids. Deal with it. And get some solid counseling on all of this before you destroy your marriage in the name of a delusion you just happen to have at the moment.

Yes, I know what it feels like to be "held back" by a spouse. But, just because you have a desire to serve the Lord, and just because you THINK God is talking to you, doesn't mean He really is.

Again, get some help and deal with it in a proper, sober, and responsible way that show esteem for your wife and who she is. You're sin is to discount her straight off the bat, and if anything, you're just showing pride. Do you really think the Lord is going to use you if what is really driving you is pride and addictive desire for satisfaction?

2PhiloVoid

Ahead of you. We're in counseling. Again. People with your point of view are exactly what why Churchianity is in trouble. "Think" I heard from God? There's no doubt. If I don't hear from God (like ALL Christians do) then what's the point of prayer? What's the point of faith? There is no pride here. Only obeisance to what I was told. I'm not super excited about some of it either. Honestly, I'm a little scared. But I will do what the Lord told me to do. There's no other option.

 

[letmeseeyourphone]

Mat 10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

Does this mean nothing? Just there to fill up white space?

I LOVE her. Obviously. Otherwise I wouldn't be torn about this. I'm praying (and have been) for a long time that she would come to the Lord.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Ahead of you. We're in counseling. Again. People with your point of view are exactly what why Churchianity is in trouble. "Think" I heard from God? There's no doubt. If I don't hear from God (like ALL Christians do) then what's the point of prayer? What's the point of faith? There is no pride here. Only obeisance to what I was told. I'm not super excited about some of it either. Honestly, I'm a little scared. But I will do what the Lord told me to do. There's no other option.

That is not your choice. You don't get to either pigeon-hole your wife "in the name of Christ" and bring about a divorce just because all you really want to do is "minister." You're ministry will fail if that is what you think you're going to do. And you better get some really good counseling. You don't get to excuse it all by causing trouble for your wife, not providing for her security both emotionally and financially, and then blaming her that she's just "standing in the way" of it all. I've seen this kind of this happen more than once before, once was even at my own church, and it was a tragedy for the whole family (and indirectly for the church).

 

[letmeseeyourphone]

Yes, you can. This definition of "minister" is too narrow.

How can you love your wife and serve her? Not with the agenda of her conversion or sanctification, but just for who she is right now? That is your ministry to her.

That's good advice, and the Lord's been speaking this exact thing to me. But it seems like nothing helps.

 

[letmeseeyourphone]

Edited. Deleted.

 

[A_Thinker]

I cannot minister to my wife. She won't allow it. Refuses to read, pray, or discuss anything with me. Ministering to her is no longer an option. Even the marriage counselor picked up almost immediately on the fact that her problem is not from me, it comes from her lack of relationship with Jesus Christ. She is obviously hostile toward Christianity, although will deny it point-blank.

Think of it this way ... how can you bring her along ?

And how does it speak of your ministry potential, if you can't minister to your own wife ?

Consider, ... you admitted to putting her through a lot with your affair and drug addiction. Maybe you should spend that same amount of time comforting and reassuring her.

Maybe LOVE is the KEY that will win her heart to God. How can you be more LOVING to her ?