Brains and Beauty: Oil and Water?

[broken_one]

Note: I was originally going to call this thread "The Erin Burnett Question", but I realize that still not everybody knows who she is.


Branching from my (failed) thread from yesterday, I'm kinda morphing what interests me in a partner. Obviously, looks are going to be a factor. But how does personality figure into that, and more importantly how well will the aforementioned traits mesh with who I am and how I work?

I've decided that I'm getting really tired of girls who aren't interesting to me and who don't hold my attention. I've now trended toward being more deeply attracted to girls who are smarter, or at least appear to be so. However, finding a girl who is attractive and yet still is at least mildly intelligent (and not one of those "smartly manipulative" gals, if you know what I mean) has been difficult if not impossible.

So my question is:

Do brains and beauty mix? Why or why not? Is it because pretty girls do not need to be smart to get ahead? Or maybe pretty girls are forced to play dumb to get guys?

 

[kevlite2020]

The more you try to analyze what you are attracted to, the more lost you will be over it. Brains, beauty, mood you were in when you met her, location you met her at, what you had to eat that day, what happened to be on her mind when you two started talking, on and on and on... They all play a factor into what you will find attractive in a women. There are billions of factors that go into each and every individual girl that you may or may not find attractive. Of those billions, you can control a small handful, at best.

Basically what I'm saying is, you can't ever put a finger on what attracts you. All you can do is notice themes. At the end of the day, you never know what you'll really think about a girl, even if you know all of their physical and mental attributes.

 

[leothelioness]

Yes, brains and beauty can mix. It's just you're not likely to find very much of that (or at least brains) on a college campus, which is deeply ironic. Anyway, there are many ladies that proove that brains and beauty can co-exist. It just takes longer to find them I suppose.

Sorry if this didn't help at all.

 

[K9_Trainer]

Ohai thar

 

[Inkachu]

There are so many people right here on CF who are both attractive and intelligent. The two attributes are more than compatible.

 

[Saucy]

I think that's a stereotype, that, if you're ever going to find the right person for you, that you should learn to look past.

I have found that I am more attracted to a woman's personality than her looks. If she has a great sense of humor and loves to laugh and is sort of...strange ...I am more inclined to find her to be more attractive. So really, it should be the person she is that you find the most attractive about her.

I think the reason why a lot of relationships and marriages fail is because people look at outward attractiveness first and that will only get you so far before you realize you have nothing in common with this person and he/she is not the person you thought they were.

 

[Blackguard_]

I know a couple very beautiful and very smart girls. Brains and beauty do mix.


Broken, how do you feel about a beautiful girl who is smarter than you?

 

[Nanopants]

The question obviously isn't "can a girl be beautiful and smart?". It's more about what she will do to you if she's smart enough to use her beauty to get what she wants. Is it possible to find a girl that's beautiful, intelligent, and genuinely kind, giving and honest? They are definitely rare, and whenever I meet one I usually just end up walking away because I'm obviously not worthy.

 

[Saucy]

Nanopants,
I believe God has the right one for all of us. You will find the one who you consider to be absolutely stunning (in both personality and looks) and you will be so shocked and amazed that she feels the same for you as you do her. It seems to work that way

 

[broken_one]

Broken, how do you feel about a beautiful girl who is smarter than you?

Some people make it out to be a really big issue (idk why), but part of life is realizing that there will be people who do ______ better than you, and those who do worse than you.

A "more intelligent" woman, provided she isn't using her intelligence to be excessively manipulative (which I previously mentioned, and Nano also made a brief aside about), isn't an issue. I don't want my relationship to turn into the Frasier Crane/Lilith Sternin deal, but most women dance around guy's minds anyway so I might as well be out about it.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

Like, well educated or "smart" smart?

 

[LoneSheep]

The beautiful attractive women I have met usually have to play dumb to not intimidate guys. It is the rare guy who dismisses her looks that makes her intelligence come to the surface.

I think that playing dumb is common for both men and women. Intelligence can be intimidating for many people but beauty draws them in.

 

[broken_one]

Like, well educated or "smart" smart?

Mix of both, I suppose.

 

[Wren]

Of course they exist. I worked and went to college with a woman who is gorgeous and intelligent. She's a nice person, too.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

Mix of both, I suppose.

Yeah, but they have their "elements" and "crowds". I have a couple friends like this who I seek for intellectual chatter. One of them is young though.

 

[Thunder Peel]

If you find them beautiful on the inside then it radiates outward and you'll find them physically attractive too. That's why loving someone for their personality and spirit is ultimately what matters.

And yes, it's perfectly possible to find women who are both pretty and intelligent. The woman I'm with is both.

 

[Ukrainia]

Well, if we were talking about the male equivelent, I suppose the strange sensual man that sleeps in my bed at night and is currently picking his nose, looking at the booger carefully and, while whimsically laughing, is throwing it to the ground - that guy is both incredibly intelligent, witty and a dashingly handsome renaisance man.

....Ok, I'm referencing myself. Does that make it any less awkward?

 

[elenore]

Do brains and beauty mix? Why or why not? Is it because pretty girls do not need to be smart to get ahead? Or maybe pretty girls are forced to play dumb to get guys?

I did some temp work at a magazine once who did model castings in the building (also done work experience at one of the countries (at the time) most exlusive fashion labels who were casting at the time for the international and national shows.
Anyways.
Like most people I looked for the 'dumb' sterotype but to be honest, I found a pretty average mix. For the magazine, most of the girls wern't stunning anyway, just young, thin and pretty, without particularly outstanding features. You wouldn't look twice at most of them in the street. But the advantage of plainish/regular/pretty features, is that you can do a lot with them with make up and photography.
That was a surprise to me.

Some of the catwalk models were pretty exotic though. (A couple looked like people you just don't normally come across in real life.)

So yeah. I think the beauty/brains thing is a bit of a myth. But that's just from my experience from those times (and the few I've known.)

What I have noticed however in some beautiful girls, is that there's more pressure on them to be 'nice' and fit in. (or be seen as arrogant). So I think that can contribute to the dumb persona.

It's kind of hard to have strong opinions and personality traits if people are hyper-sensitive of rejection around you. (and also sometimes, trying to get a piece of you.)

So yeah.

My thoughts.

 

[lostaquarium]

I know lots of girls who are both intelligent and beautiful. It makes sense, if you think of the stereotypes of ugly smart men marrying beautiful dumb women --> some of their kids are going to end up being both smart and beautiful.

 

[elenore]

I like deep, nice and brilliant.