Hello! I am from Azerbaijan. Not a very popular country, I know. It's a Muslim-majority country in Eurasia. Although, the people don't really follow Islam (Go to mosques, pray or fast et cetera) They still however, culturally see themselves as Shia Muslims. The constitution doesn't recognize any religion as its official religion, meaning it's a secular state. Although, Atheism is kind of encouraged by the state. One great example of this would be the new law. That says that anyone who's professionally religious (Imam, Pastor et cetera) can't be a president, city mayor and such high-ranking jobs. Now, that's a clear statement and it shows what they really support. Another example would be the ban on hijabs. Women who wear hijabs are not let into schools and universities unless they take off their hijabs. It's not just universities and schools though, it's the same with a woman trying to apply for a job. They prefer non-hijabi women. People here don't really follow Islam as I said. They drink lots of alcohol, smoke lots of cigarettes, a lot of bars and prostitutes are around here (In fact Arab 'tourists' come to the capital for prostitutes, because in their own country it's illegal). So, you can see what's going on here. However, I said to any of them that I'm a Christian now, they'd all think I'm mislead by 'Satan' and that I should convert back to my 'own' religion. First of all, if it was anyone's 'own' religion it would be Arabs', because they are the ones who came up with it. But we on the contrary are not Arabs, nor even Persians. We are ethnic Turks, not even Turkish, but Turkic, therefore, no reason for us to call it our 'own' religion. So that aside now that I have given you my background and where I grew up, let me tell you about how I came to be a Christian.
So, as I already have said it's a secular place, meaning the role of religion isn't so grand in people's lives anyway. So, people are never really forced to go to mosques, or pray or even fast, or even simply read the Qur'an. People don't, they don't care. So growing up in this sort of secular environment, you try to look for the truth, you search, but you can't find it. And I couldn't, and I no longer saw a reason to call myself a Muslim anymore. I never felt loved by God truly. I always looked up at the sky as a kid and thought Allah was there, and that he could hear me. But I don't ever remember being loved by Allah. I spent my childhood like this, but as I grew into teenager years, I became a full outspoken Atheist. I made fun of Islam, and pretty much any other religion. I criticized those people for having faith for something they never saw, while I ironically I believed in the Big Bang. Now that's hypocrisy. My life has lost its meaning, I started to question morals and I somehow came to the conclusion that they were just imaginary, that I could just kill my entire family and the entirety of the universe wouldn't care. Because, it doesn't matter. To the universe, they are just cells decomposing, so who cared anyway? What was going to change? This is a very dangerous way of thinking. Not only does it make life meaningless, it also puts others' lives in danger. I thought I was so smart, and no one ever thought the things I thought. How everyone else was brainwashed, but Atheists like me were so smart and so scientific and totally logical. I was basically preaching myself for being smart and different. While ironically, believing that the universe didn't matter. Now, wasn't I a part of that universe? That means I don't matter, and my smartness doesn't matter. Because, nothing matters. That's also a very dark way of thinking, it leads you to depression and philosophies like nihilism. Like such of that as 'Life has no fundamental meaning, and that we're all doomed to find meaning in a universe that has no meaning'. Very dark. Gets boring easily. So I searched and searched on and on, I never thought of Christianity though. I don't know why. I just thought it was the same as Islam without any research. I looked onto Buddhism thinking maybe that's the way. It wasn't fulfilling to me either. But one day I stumbled upon someone called David Wood on Youtube. His channel goes by the name of 'Acts17Apologetics'. He shared his story with us, about how we has an Atheist and his story deeply resonated with mine, and I wondered how could he become a Christian? I watched that video and I started to doubt everything I thought about myself and the universe. Was everything really indifferent to the terrible things I do? Is life really meaningless and just a random amount of energy randomly coming in together? As I was confronted with such an existential issue, I thought the way was to read the Bible. Only then could I judge by myself. I read, I researched, I watched movies about Christ and that made me realize one thing, and the one thing I was certain of was that Jesus Christ undoubtedly is the Lord and our Savior. He is the son of God. Sent down upon us by the father to pay for our sins, so that we may be saved despite how sinful we are. Jesus says the greatest expression of love you can show to someone is by giving your life for them. Jesus did exactly that. Therefore, a grand expression of love. And whenever I think of it I immediately get emotional and I start to cry. This is what happened. My faith has been strengthening ever since. I've been giving up my addictions. Like internet inappropriate contentography, using intense foul language, being rude to others, being unempathetic. Jesus showed me the way and that the way was loving. Love is the way. It's the language of God. So don't be hateful, my dear friends. Love one another as he loved us. Thank you whoever read this far. It might've been all over the place, but it's hard to express such a big event in my life.
So, as I already have said it's a secular place, meaning the role of religion isn't so grand in people's lives anyway. So, people are never really forced to go to mosques, or pray or even fast, or even simply read the Qur'an. People don't, they don't care. So growing up in this sort of secular environment, you try to look for the truth, you search, but you can't find it. And I couldn't, and I no longer saw a reason to call myself a Muslim anymore. I never felt loved by God truly. I always looked up at the sky as a kid and thought Allah was there, and that he could hear me. But I don't ever remember being loved by Allah. I spent my childhood like this, but as I grew into teenager years, I became a full outspoken Atheist. I made fun of Islam, and pretty much any other religion. I criticized those people for having faith for something they never saw, while I ironically I believed in the Big Bang. Now that's hypocrisy. My life has lost its meaning, I started to question morals and I somehow came to the conclusion that they were just imaginary, that I could just kill my entire family and the entirety of the universe wouldn't care. Because, it doesn't matter. To the universe, they are just cells decomposing, so who cared anyway? What was going to change? This is a very dangerous way of thinking. Not only does it make life meaningless, it also puts others' lives in danger. I thought I was so smart, and no one ever thought the things I thought. How everyone else was brainwashed, but Atheists like me were so smart and so scientific and totally logical. I was basically preaching myself for being smart and different. While ironically, believing that the universe didn't matter. Now, wasn't I a part of that universe? That means I don't matter, and my smartness doesn't matter. Because, nothing matters. That's also a very dark way of thinking, it leads you to depression and philosophies like nihilism. Like such of that as 'Life has no fundamental meaning, and that we're all doomed to find meaning in a universe that has no meaning'. Very dark. Gets boring easily. So I searched and searched on and on, I never thought of Christianity though. I don't know why. I just thought it was the same as Islam without any research. I looked onto Buddhism thinking maybe that's the way. It wasn't fulfilling to me either. But one day I stumbled upon someone called David Wood on Youtube. His channel goes by the name of 'Acts17Apologetics'. He shared his story with us, about how we has an Atheist and his story deeply resonated with mine, and I wondered how could he become a Christian? I watched that video and I started to doubt everything I thought about myself and the universe. Was everything really indifferent to the terrible things I do? Is life really meaningless and just a random amount of energy randomly coming in together? As I was confronted with such an existential issue, I thought the way was to read the Bible. Only then could I judge by myself. I read, I researched, I watched movies about Christ and that made me realize one thing, and the one thing I was certain of was that Jesus Christ undoubtedly is the Lord and our Savior. He is the son of God. Sent down upon us by the father to pay for our sins, so that we may be saved despite how sinful we are. Jesus says the greatest expression of love you can show to someone is by giving your life for them. Jesus did exactly that. Therefore, a grand expression of love. And whenever I think of it I immediately get emotional and I start to cry. This is what happened. My faith has been strengthening ever since. I've been giving up my addictions. Like internet inappropriate contentography, using intense foul language, being rude to others, being unempathetic. Jesus showed me the way and that the way was loving. Love is the way. It's the language of God. So don't be hateful, my dear friends. Love one another as he loved us. Thank you whoever read this far. It might've been all over the place, but it's hard to express such a big event in my life.
