Bipolar Creative Writing and art

[Jeshu]

Once Again

Once again Im in my pit Im reaching out
but your hand I miss
I need you Lord to grab my hand and rescue me
from the dark pit Im in
unvail my eyes so I can see the truth you gave
to set me free
break the chains that bind me tight release me Lord
you've won this fight

Open my ears to hear your truth
wisdom comes from faith in you
I slipped again my flesh took hold pushed
you aside to try alone
Chip away my calloused heart to reach the dying
with broken hearts
Jesus give them a brand new start
let them see the truth you are
grab my hand and use me Lord as a shinning light
in a drakened world

A plan you have to use me now but in my sorrow
I don't know how
all I know is this mess I made mend me Lord
so I too can be saved.

Isn't depression the pits? You know DS God has a plan for you, but depression is not it, going through depression and coming out a better person, that the challenge you are facing.

Keep growing good things, things that come from His Fatherly hand, so once again you the darkness may face with confidence and determination not to eat any of its crap but wait on Jesus to help you through it.

Bless your heart

 

[Jeshu]

Or you could write about something positive that has come about because of your battle with mental illness - like how you've grown, become stronger, gained perspective on life, were able to help others, etc.

I got this far!

Admitting Mental Illness,

Do you admit to me your presence,
that cruel and uncaring form of self-hood,
acknowledging your involuntariness,
in dealing with my life on occasions
which matter so much to me,
and the detestable act of having
love faith and hope,
completely undiscerning,
in a fantasy world,
ignoring my hellish agony?

Do you admit to me,
the one in authority,
that you have absconded
your responsibilities continually,
and that you have not relented from your ways,
even when I pressed you for co-operation,
in dealing with urgently
yes, imperative matters
timely and maturely,
yet never respecting,
my feelings or point of view,
even during extremely
turbulent and dangerous times?

Do you admit
that your unwillingness and stubbornness
has caused me much grief,
and that willingly surrendering yourself,
at a much earlier date,
could have moulded you into something
more pliable than is presently the case,
toughening yourself against my attempts
to achieve some kind of empiric unity?

Do you therefore admit
that your position makes my life precariously unstable,
detonating,
exploding,
mushrooming clouds,
laying waste,
yes vaporising,
everything
that has been worked so awfully hard for,
me,
putting so much energy
and time into building my reality,
without you giving a hoot about any of this
never - ever - at all?

Well?


"I admit."


Good then we are finally getting somewhere!

***
​

 

[lmarie23]

Gerry, your poem put a smile on my face. So much emotion in the first stanzas, and then the humorous ending. And I must say - I've never read a poem that included a smiley face in sunglasses!

As I read this, immediately I was reminded of what I have been learning about narrative therapy, the form of therapy I am interested in. In narrative therapy, they make a big deal out of "externalizing the problem." You make a name for the problem, sometimes even draw a picture of it or sculpt it. Then you define how the problem has affected different parts of your life. And think of examples of when it hasn't defined your life, or where you were able to handle it - a "unique outcome" where things went different than usual. Then you write a letter to the problem, letting out your emotions to it. Then you are supposed to think of ways that you could have more "unique outcomes" and such. Well, you are already doing this!

I can identify with a lot of what you write about. You do have quite a gift of expression! (by the way, abscond is a fun word, i get distracted by words I like). I think this response is the most random thing ever.

 

[Jeshu]

My best lesson has been that Jesus taught me to understand the book of Revelation from a personal perspective. His Truth wheels within wheels within my own inner reality.

(This is a mediation on Revelation 12-20 (roughly))

​

Faith's Night - Dark Times.
Dragon's breath - Satan's spit
igniting fidelity - burns faithfulness
souls burning - hearts alight
frying transgression - roasting sin
hellish moments - hot times.


Malefic accuser - Nasty tongue
attacking repose - assaults safety
vehement iniquity - fiery wrongdoing
pardoning aught - unforgiven
obliterating grace - no mercy.


Faithful conceal - Believers hide
agonising sorrows - terrible grief
confusion prevalent - troubling thoughts
anguish ensuing - fear attacks
lowly remainder - few left.


False prophet - Lying suggestions
hollering loudly - screaming voice
verity retreating - truth dies
overpowering treachery - honesty destroyed
guidance warped - directionalless.


Procuring sinfulness - Sin labours
reproach litigates - guilt accusing
Repentance baulking - unstoppable wrong
reviving evil - revisiting wickedness
grave astuteness - terrible trouble.


Loathsome kings - Horrible rulers
destruction reigning - spiritual devastation
inducing chaos - increasing unrest
inner turmoil - upheaval within
warring heart - soul aching


Lawlessness guzzles - Unfaithful decisions
intoxicating lifeblood - robbing logic
faith deceased - trust dies
wrong feasting - sin parties
spawning Sheol - Hell awakes.


Surprisingly detect - Amazed to see
profane Beast - blasphemous god
outlawry attacking - attacks wrongdoing
devouring physique - eating flesh
cauterising spirit - burning ego.


Angelic ferocity - Heavenly power
anger enkindle - furiously
laying waste - wipes out
ruining Babylon - controlling mind
Chosen laudatory - life celebrating.

Seeing Scripture - The Bible
execute justice - in fairness
deriving trueness - finding truth
exposing hearts - baring intent
chastising minds - correcting views.


Christ Within - Truth rules
light dawning - loving life
passing darkness - lies leave
truth triumphant - Jesus won
eternal celebrations - hallelujah!

***​

*Lawlessness - is an open minded interpretation of the prostitute/unfaithfulness spoken about in Chapter 17

 

[Jeshu]

Feeling joyous this morning.




My Vineyard.

My soul is a vineyard of the Lord.
He choose the site carefully
and dug my hardened soil deep.

He removed all rocks and stones
and build me a wall with them
a defence so very strong.

He planted the choicest of vines
in fertile ground He planted them
and watered them deeply.

He cares for the plants very well
pruning them each season
strong stock to propagate.

Also a watchtower did He build
placing guards in it
a watching eye on things.

A wine press He build as well
for when my vines yield
pressing the best of fruit.

The wine of Joy is what I get.
jubilant my maidens dance
gladness running over.

 

[lmarie23]

Feeling joyous this morning.




My Vineyard.

My soul is a vineyard of the Lord.
He choose the site carefully
and dug my hardened soil deep.

He removed all rocks and stones
and build me a wall with them
a defence so very strong.

He planted the choicest of vines
in fertile ground He planted them
and watered them deeply.

He cares for the plants very well
pruning them each season
strong stock to propagate.

Also a watchtower did He build
placing guards in it
a watching eye on things.

A wine press He build as well
for when my vines yield
pressing the best of fruit.

The wine of Joy is what I get.
jubilant my maidens dance
gladness running over.

Oh, wow - I love that Gerry! What beautiful imagery. And I'm glad you are feeling joyous - thank you for sharing!

Lynnie

 

[Jeshu]

I learned this as well about depression.


Defining Depression.

Depression is a tool of our evil enemy
to harm us so.

Cruel things bubble out of depression.
overwhelming us so.

Lying feelings and untrue thoughts go flying
confusing us so.

Dark clouds rain massive hailstones on our love
chilling us so.

Negativity ruling our most optimistic thoughts
depressing us so.

hateful tongue attacking our weakest self
despairing us so.

Lying hateful voice separating us from our joy
isolating us so.

Lovelessness filing heart and mind with misery
hurting us so.

Hopelessness and despair pressing an end to good life
killing us so.

Indeed the dark powers of Hell are loosened upon us
burning us so.

Depression is a tool from the cruel and evil one
to make us fold.

 

[lmarie23]

Gerry, I like that poem. I like the progression, from the thoughts first bubbling up, and then growing in intensity - rain clouds, hail, and finally to thoughts of death. So true and well written. My only problem was with line where you talked about "lying hateful reality." how can reality be lying? it seems like a contradiction.

oh, i'm not sure if you want critiques of your poems, maybe it's just April that likes this.

Here is a poem I wrote last week sometime.



Rain falls quietly outside.
The blinds are closed,
And I sit behind,
Not seeing the night
But feeling its presence.
My heart aches
And I feel this inner tension
As if I am teetering on the brink
Between hope and despair.
Part of me reaches forward
Yet my feet slip on the stones beneath.

K, I feel you here, in my heart.
I have abandoned my former ill will,
And have nothing but love to share with you, now.
Please don’t shut me out!
I am knocking at the door of your heart.
This basket I clutch does not contain a poisoned apple,
But the fruit I have harvested, here, and
Want to share with you.


Lynne

 

[Jeshu]

Hi Lynne, fun posting at the same time!

I was just about to post this, I'm not sure if you have seen it before I might have. Its one of my favourites and describes a very true event the dying of my selfishness and the coming to new life at the end of the line.

In My last I

i heard and saw
for myself
what big I's
do best,
replying first
to Heaven's questions.

i heard and saw,
"Me!! Yes, I..!"
answering triumphantly,
ignoring the rest of me,
self-importance rising proudly,
“I.., I.., I..,
yes.., ME!”

i had heard and seen,
“Who is first?
Who deserves to be in Heaven?
Who earned the power, glory and honour?
Who is more important?
Who deserves the crown?
Who wants to live forever?”


i heard and saw
that there was
no room
for the rest
of myself,
nor anyone else,
either!


i heard and saw
merely a
burning stick
boasting
arrogantly
I am
best!


i heard and saw
a marvellous Light
decent from Heaven,
screaming,
my big I lit-up
from hair to toe
aflame!


i heard and saw
in The End
a final tiny
flame flickering,
my big I
blazed out
for good!


i heard and saw
much better
after i had
that 'hiccup'
going up
tho'
.
​

 

[Jeshu]

Gerry, I like that poem. I like the progression, from the thoughts first bubbling up, and then growing in intensity - rain clouds, hail, and finally to thoughts of death. So true and well written. My only problem was with line where you talked about "lying hateful reality." how can reality be lying? it seems like a contradiction.

oh, i'm not sure if you want critiques of your poems, maybe it's just April that likes this.

Here is a poem I wrote last week sometime.



Rain falls quietly outside.
The blinds are closed,
And I sit behind,
Not seeing the night
But feeling its presence.
My heart aches
And I feel this inner tension
As if I am teetering on the brink
Between hope and despair.
Part of me reaches forward
Yet my feet slip on the stones beneath.

K, I feel you here, in my heart.
I have abandoned my former ill will,
And have nothing but love to share with you, now.
Please don’t shut me out!
I am knocking at the door of your heart.
This basket I clutch does not contain a poisoned apple,
But the fruit I have harvested, here, and
Want to share with you.


Lynne

I love the train of your thoughts Lynne, indeed that is how love goes, it seeks and knocks, it despairs when no one opens, it waits and prays for better times.

About my poem, good point I'll have a look at that, a reality and reality are quiet different though, but yes I can see what you mean.

 

[Jeshu]

Life's Lesson.

The one thing I learned in my life
Reality has more than one way
For The Truth can torch my soul
or through love take me to paradise.

The Bible accuses me when I seek wrong,
but His love guides me when I seek right.
His Love is so very gentle when I'm His,
but kindles a fire when I walk with the wicked.

At first I saw pain as a terrible liability,
yet suffering has made me a better person.
When young I burned-up my joy for pleasures,
now my joyous heart in thankfulness runs over.

Life gives whatever side you serve
Loving truth or running out of time
All for self means nothing will be left over
While sharing breeds more good for all.

 

[BlondieLashes]

Life's Lesson.

The one thing I learned in my life
Reality has more than one way
For The Truth can torch my soul
or through love take me to paradise.

The Bible accuses me when I seek wrong,
but His love guides me when I seek right.
His Love is so very gentle when I'm His,
but kindles a fire when I walk with the wicked.

At first I saw pain as a terrible liability,
yet suffering has made me a better person.
When young I burned-up my joy for pleasures,
now my joyous heart in thankfulness runs over.

Life gives whatever side you serve
Loving truth or running out of time
All for self means nothing will be left over
While sharing breeds more good for all.

Beautiful!!!!!!!!!

 

[Brinmar]

I agree - very beautiful - thanks for posting.

 

[Jeshu]

An oldie


Life's short.

Life's wondrous offer to being, renders more then subjugation.
Please crucify your self-importance so you'll be a free creation.
However refining silver and purifying gold excludes the dross.
Bequeathing you no alternative but dependency on the cross.

God's Word ruminates food for the soul, whosoever you turnout to be.
For Christ's liberty fetches the shackled soul a combination key.
Grab hold of eternal bliss before death catches up with all the lies.
Remember life is short for those who have lost touch with paradise.

So I don't heed the gravediggers wallowing six foot deep in retreat.
Could death preclude us spiritually; as the Lord we'll surely meet?
Or still trusting that your demise has non-being as final victory?
I wager the whole of my existence - JESUS will be awaiting me!

 

[lmarie23]

Wow, I don't know how you come up with these, Gerry.

I wrote two poems last night. And then I thought, wouldn't it be cool if I could write a song while I'm in the creative mode? And I've never had much success with songs, besides that one, but even that one didn't come easy... but i wrote these two songs last night and i didn't even think about them, they just came so easily, and i had to type really fast to keep up, and the melody just came to me as well. they're praise/worship songs. the only thing is i had to change one line in the second because i realized it was my unhealthy self talking and not Biblical. and now i'm having a hard time fixing it, since i'm not in the zone anymore. but still i like these songs. and they sound really pretty when i sing them.


“God, I stand before You”

God, I stand before You
You know my name
God, I stand before You
You’ve staked your claim
On my heart and it beats for You
On my heart and it longs for You

You are the breath that I need
You are the life that I breathe
Fill me now, pour Your life into me
And give me hope

Now I’ve fallen on my knees
For I’m sick of all of these
Broken pieces at my feet
My life is misery

Without You.


“The Ultimate Sacrifice”

I’m so tired
of living on the surface
I want
to sink into the deep
cleansing waters of forgiveness
the streams of life run through
gentle valleys of redemption:
You paid the price…

for my soul
and I am amazed
how You died
just for me to save
‘twas the
ultimate sacrifice
yet You love me
so paid the price

for my soul
and I am amazed
how You died
just for me to save
‘twas the
ultimate sacrifice
yet You love me

Yes, You love me
You still love me

even now

 

[Jeshu]

Wow, I don't know how you come up with these, Gerry.

I wrote two poems last night. And then I thought, wouldn't it be cool if I could write a song while I'm in the creative mode? And I've never had much success with songs, besides that one, but even that one didn't come easy... but i wrote these two songs last night and i didn't even think about them, they just came so easily, and i had to type really fast to keep up, and the melody just came to me as well. they're praise/worship songs. the only thing is i had to change one line in the second because i realized it was my unhealthy self talking and not Biblical. and now i'm having a hard time fixing it, since i'm not in the zone anymore. but still i like these songs. and they sound really pretty when i sing them.


“God, I stand before You”

God, I stand before You
You know my name
God, I stand before You
You’ve staked your claim
On my heart and it beats for You
On my heart and it longs for You

You are the breath that I need
You are the life that I breathe
Fill me now, pour Your life into me
And give me hope

Now I’ve fallen on my knees
For I’m sick of all of these
Broken pieces at my feet
My life is misery

Without You.


“The Ultimate Sacrifice”

I’m so tired
of living on the surface
I want
to sink into the deep
cleansing waters of forgiveness
the streams of life run through
gentle valleys of redemption:
You paid the price…

for my soul
and I am amazed
how You died
just for me to save
‘twas the
ultimate sacrifice
yet You love me
so paid the price

for my soul
and I am amazed
how You died
just for me to save
‘twas the
ultimate sacrifice
yet You love me

Yes, You love me
You still love me

even now

Well done sis, you really let it pour, awesome!

 

[BlondieLashes]

Your songs are beautifully creative Lynne!

 

[Jeshu]

Lies die.
When lies are heeded,
open minds twist shut,
human hearts sizzle,
The Chosen burn,
the dead are buried.

When the dead are buried,
lightening flashes,
thunders roll,
hail stones pelt,
God's judgement speaks.

When God's judgement speaks,
mortal flesh quakes,
wild eyes stare,
open mouths gape,
lying tongues rot.

When lying tongues rot,
the dead arise,
hosanna ringing,
loud happy singing,
life praising The Truth.

 

[dark struggle]

You guys are awesome!! I love them all, it is so cool to me when I go back and read all of these, they are not all nevgative or all positive, they are all mixed jumbled and have a unique balance that is encouraging and painful all at the same time. Bless you all

 

[Jeshu]

Beast's reign.

Why let that nasty Dragon rule,
always killing our best in life?
Controlling and unforgiving,
turning peace into lots of strife?

Why let followers of wrong rule,
installing cruel heartless kings?
Who's every word are so untrue,
robbing more of our good things?

Why rape this wonderful earth,
polluting our water, soil and air?
Uprooting pristine virginity,
cutting away forests oh so fair?

Where are the kids frolicking in the bush,
the hunters stalking after their prey?
Prophets seeing signs and wonders,
mothers bathing in waterfalls spray?

What happened to good old patience,
reading the weather in sky's attire?
Watching the stars sparkle at night,
story playing around the camp fire?

Why trade God's good for rubbish,
trading our talent and our best skill?
Labouring for mere numbers,
sacrificing all to Dragon's will?

Oh when will that ugly Beast die,
his ways a nightmare of the past?
borrowed time run out for good,
and humanity be freed at last!