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Bikinies

SoC

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Seattle Rain said:
Ok Matt (Soc), I have I high level of respect for you and your girlfriend, but I do have to say that slightly disagree with the whole bikini argument. True, women are not supposed to be a stumbling block but men are also to be held accountable for their own sins. It's a two-part thing.

Does no one read my posts? I never said that men shouldn't be held accountable. I said that if they lust after a girl, it's their problem. All I asked for was help from the girls in not wearing something that makes it easier to lust after them.

I will change what I said about bikinis in general to the string variety. You do make a good point there.
 
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~Beauty_from_Pain~

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All in all, this will all come down to the OP and his gf. We can give him our opinions and the way that we have been lead by God, but in the end, they are going to have to pray about it and see where God leads them.

This is the way that it is. For example, I don't watch movies that contain sex, nudity, etc. That is something that I feel God is saying that should not be watched. However, not all of us are in that place. We get there at our own place and some of us never feel the need to eliminate those things.

Now from my point of view I can back it up, but others can back their end up. We must search the scriptures to know the truth.
 
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Chajara

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I'll chime in here, as a woman who's occasionally struggled with lust. I tend to be visual too, though I'm also artistic. The naked body doesn't turn me on much, and I don't care. However, find a good looking man who's dressed the way I like and has a nice hairstyle and I go from 0 to drool in two seconds. Seriously, you wouldn't believe the thoughts that immediately enter my head. I certainly won't post them here.

That said... is it really that hard to mentally slap yourself and say no to those thoughts? My process usually goes something along the lines of "HOLY... Well /hello/ there sexy... yeah, I'd like to... wait. NO. Just look away, because you're not going to end up talking to him anyway. Just. Look. Away. Time to focus on something else that doesn't involve slobbering over strange men." And that's the end of it. :p

I'll also add that I have a bikini but it's kinda frumpy. I picked it out specifically because it covers a lot and isn't particularly sexy. I'm hoping to find a sexier one, but then my definition of sexy is far from what most people's is. If I could find a nice green one that goes with my "natural" look without being scanty you'd never get me away from the beach (though I'd still probably wear shorts unless the bottoms were wet from swimming).
 
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ImperialPhantom

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Trying to put the blame for men lusting, on women who wear the bikini or the mini-skirt or the tank top, is not only misplacing it, it's borderline misogynistic. And let's not talk about what God "wants you to be wearing", because that's inventing man-made doctrine. If she's dressing to incite lust, then yeah, she's at fault. If she is simply dressing in what's comfortable or whatever, then she is not at fault. That's like asking a soldier to never wear his military garb because "women love a man in uniform".
 
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Okay, so my guy friends don't particulaly endorse us gals wearing bikinis, and at first I was like "what is the problem? i'll wear one if i want". but then i read this book called Sex180 and it really challenged me about what i wear and whether it's modest or not. you should read it. so now i totally understand! and i now need to revamp my swimwear collection! x
 
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SoC

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ImperialPhantom said:
Trying to put the blame for men lusting, on women who wear the bikini or the mini-skirt or the tank top, is not only misplacing it, it's borderline misogynistic. And let's not talk about what God "wants you to be wearing", because that's inventing man-made doctrine. If she's dressing to incite lust, then yeah, she's at fault. If she is simply dressing in what's comfortable or whatever, then she is not at fault. That's like asking a soldier to never wear his military garb because "women love a man in uniform".

I know this may not be directed at me, but I'm also not the only one saying this. We are not saying that women are responsible for guys lusting. We are saying that most bikinis are immodest and make it easier for guys to lust. Even if she's in a bikini, she's not at fault for the guy's lust; that's his problem.

As for your soldier analogy, there's nothing similar. Military garb is not comfortable (ask just about anyone in the military). Military garb isn't skin tight. Military garb doesn't reveal a lot more of the body than should be. I don't see the correlation.

Gah! I wish people would actually read the posts, or at the very least, put in their posts that they didn't read all the posts.
 
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The idea that a strange man is entertaining thoughts of sexual acts with my body does not sit well with me. Does it sit well with you, ladies? Is it worth the added comfort, fashion sense, or any other excuse given to essentially don nothing but underwear in public? Forgive me for being so harsh, but that's blindness.

It is the man's job to control his thoughts. He can lust after you no matter what you wear. Is this an excuse to wear anything you want, then? Unfortunately, many men simply have no desire to control lustful thoughts, Christian and non-christian alike. It is simply irresponsible to say "well, its his problem! He should control it!" when you know full well that so many won't even try.

For men that have a mind and thoughts for God, thank you. Encourage your sisters in God to be modest and your brothers in taking responsibility of their thought lives.

God bless
 
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Johnnz

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Here is an extract from a book byFanky Schaeffer, the son of well know Christian scholar Francis.

The Bible is not only the Word of God, divinely inspired to give people understanding of the way of salvation, but is also a literary work, a work of art. Descriptions of nudity as well as extreme violence are found in profusion in the Bible. From the story of the Garden of Eden to such instances as Noah's youngest son looking on his nakedness, to the Levite's concubine who was cut in twelve pieces and distributed to the twelve tribes of Israel at God's command, to the account of David cutting off two hundred Philistine foreskins, to the graphic sexuality of the Song of Songs, to Christ's often violent imagery in His parables, we find realistic, factual, literary descriptions of sex, nudity, and violence in the Bible. We also learn that God has used violence and people's sexual behavior, even immoral behavior, to shape history, to punish the wicked, to chastise, and to build up His people.

God, evidently, is not worried by any ratings board, not to mention the maintaining of polite niceties. When it comes to His own literary work, even His action in history, God's attitude seems to be, let the chips fall where they may. The Bible is many things, but it is certainly *not* suitable family entertainment. The Bible would probably not be sold in any "Christian bookstores" if it was perceived as merely a book to be thoroughly read rather than as a *religious* devotional work.

As Christians we look to the Scriptures for moral teaching. From their study we can conclude that the Bible seems unafraid of flesh and deals openly with nudity and violence. Historically, the church has not always been as unfriendly toward flesh as some fundamentalists are in our own times. Historian and scholar Etienne Gilson shows there was not a lack of awareness of the physical aspects of the individual in the church of the Middle Ages.

It is the exercise of a peculiarly Protestant arrogance that ignores church history and tradition and assumes that as we look for answers to moral problems, we are alone before God, armed only with our own reading of Scripture and our puny consciences. The fact that in their wisdom, countless faithful churchmen through generations before and after the Reformation found nothing intrinsically offensive about nudity and violence in art is instructive, at least to those who regard themselves as part of the historic church.

Unfortunately, in addition to ignoring church history, few Christians seem to understand the importance of the *context* in which something appears. Thus they are left with a few, inadequate, simplistic rules, which are not necessarily Biblical or aesthetic, by which to judge art.

Although his topic was Christianity and the arts his comments are useful in helping us see that our very modern views are not necessarily those shared by Christians in other times. We need to look at the bikini issue in a wider context.

Bless those who have pointed out the responsibility that guys have too. We all need to understand what Paul meant when he said "to the pure all things are pure." A bikini clad woman is not an object of lust for a pure minded guy, a modestly dressed one can be if that is the guy's mindset.

John
NZ
 
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~Beauty_from_Pain~

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Wow. This thread is still going. Doesn't anyone get it? We each are set in our ways on this and there's not much we can say to change it.

The OP has got to work it out with his gf...and if she isn't going to change then there is nothing that anyone can do or say...unless he leaves her.
 
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Alenci

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Seraphim19 said:
So.... what are your opinions on women wearing these in public? My girlfriend complains that tankinies and one pieces bunch up for her in the rear/ and or don't give her enough chest support. She says bikinies let her tan much more evenly.

BACK to the ORIGINAL QUESTION. *gasp*

Yeah, that's a lot of hogwash.

One piece suits are terrible, I agree, but there's nothing wrong with a tankini. Not having worn a bikini, I will take a small risk in saying.... there is no advantage to a bikini over a tankini! Tankinis with bikini bottoms obviously can't bunch up any more than bikinis, and I'm sure the "chest support" varies from suit to suit. And as for tanning... what is the purpose in tanning the midriff if it is always concealed?

My kindly and tactful boyfriend told me I would "look retarded" wearing a T-shirt over my swimsuit (please, no offense intended to the mentally challenged). So after much fussing and frustration, I managed to find a reasonably modest tankini top and a skirt bottom. The tankini top fully covers my midriff. That's probably about as modest as a swimsuit can get, though the Target website declares that the top is "inspired by lingerie," and that the purpose of a skirt bottom is to "leave more to the imagination." Yeah... the world is sick.
 
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Mr.Cheese

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I don't care what women wear anymore. I'm married and now have an acute understanding of how ridiculous shopping for women's clothing is.

We should be more responsible for our feelings. A woman could wear a burlap sack and someone out there would find a way to lust over her.
So let her wear what is comfortable.
 
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Hope_0004

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Mr.Cheese said:
I don't care what women wear anymore. I'm married and now have an acute understanding of how ridiculous shopping for women's clothing is.

We should be more responsible for our feelings. A woman could wear a burlap sack and someone out there would find a way to lust over her.
So let her wear what is comfortable.

So true... and a woman could lust over a guy in coveralls if she was attracted to him... just the way things are. No need to run around like a stripper, but also no need to dress like a nun if you aren't one.
 
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Lyim

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As a guy, and related to the original question, I felt I'd toss my opinion into the arena and say this about women wearing a one-piece vs. two-piece in general. For me personally, so long as you are comfortable and 'decent', it doesn't matter how you are dressed. I'm saying decent in the legal sense. I really don't know why men and women get so up in arms about the entire issue really, one should feel entitled to wear anything they so desire as long as they can honestly look in the mirror and say that they don't feel guilty or awful about it.

Those who feel a thing is incorrect or immodest only think such because they let their mind dwell in such a dark corner. "Taking things the wrong way" is all too common a problem in our world today. It's not the clothes we wear, or the words we speak, but how we let our minds read into these things that cause the true problem.
 
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Lyim said:
As a guy, and related to the original question, I felt I'd toss my opinion into the arena and say this about women wearing a one-piece vs. two-piece in general. For me personally, so long as you are comfortable and 'decent', it doesn't matter how you are dressed. I'm saying decent in the legal sense. I really don't know why men and women get so up in arms about the entire issue really, one should feel entitled to wear anything they so desire as long as they can honestly look in the mirror and say that they don't feel guilty or awful about it.

Those who feel a thing is incorrect or immodest only think such because they let their mind dwell in such a dark corner. "Taking things the wrong way" is all too common a problem in our world today. It's not the clothes we wear, or the words we speak, but how we let our minds read into these things that cause the true problem.


But that is the whole issue.. A dirty man with a dirty mind will make this woman's body an object. He doesn't even need to use his imagination, because a bikini unrobes her body right infront of his eyes. Why would any woman be okay with this?
 
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Alenci

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BranwenUerchLlyr said:
But that is the whole issue.. A dirty man with a dirty mind will make this woman's body an object. He doesn't even need to use his imagination, because a bikini unrobes her body right infront of his eyes. Why would any woman be okay with this?

I agree. :thumbsup:
 
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ImperialPhantom

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BranwenUerchLlyr said:
But that is the whole issue.. A dirty man with a dirty mind will make this woman's body an object. He doesn't even need to use his imagination, because a bikini unrobes her body right infront of his eyes. Why would any woman be okay with this?
A one-piece leaves barely anymore to the imagination than a bikini. A dirty man is going to lust either way, and a clean man is not going to lust either way. I have no more lust for a woman in a small bikini on the beach than I do for a woman in a one-piece with boardshorts over it. Why? Well, it's not a sexual setting, for one thing, and the beach is a place where extremely revealing clothing is commonplace and not necessarily immodest. Men are not as one-track-minded as you think. Dirty men will be dirty men, and pure men will be pure men.
 
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Briseis

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This is kind of old, but I have been avoiding it since it is so popular and I ddint see what my opinion could add. But now I am bored and have dcided to reply anyway.

I wear two peice bathing suits with shorts. I wouldnt call it a bikini though. There isnt anything espeically interesting about the top half of me, so I dont care, and I wear shorts on the bottom cuz I just do not feel comfortable with out them. As for other women..Christian women with really large breasts should know better than wear the tops that are just teenie weenie triangles, but besides that, I would agree with those that say a dirty man is gonna be dirty either way. A one peice doesnt cover enough more than a bikini to make a difference. If you want to make a difference than you would have to be fully dressed at the beach.
 
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