Being a virgin at 28
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Good for you man, I wish I had waited until I was married. The media and just people in our lives make it seem like it's so great to have sex but unless you are committed it is absolutely meaningless and unfulfilling, it also makes you feel bad because you know it is wrong and you are sinning against God and your future wife.
My advice would be to stay pure until marriage, it may be difficult now but you are not missing out on much and it will be so much better when you are married and you will just feel good about it for the rest of your life compared to a few minutes of fun now.
My advice would be to stay pure until marriage, it may be difficult now but you are not missing out on much and it will be so much better when you are married and you will just feel good about it for the rest of your life compared to a few minutes of fun now.
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I'm 25 and i'm virgin too, but you know what? I'm proud of it because God says: be saint, because I am saint.
Your question would be: "I'm 28 and I'm not married". If you wanna have a woman, you have to pray and pray, without losing your faith =)
Your question would be: "I'm 28 and I'm not married". If you wanna have a woman, you have to pray and pray, without losing your faith =)
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Im 45 and still a virgin. Mauro is right, just never stop praying and trusting in the Lord and make sure you tell him in your prayers "But in the end let your will be done lord".
I will put you guys in my prayers.
The lord is with you always
, and im sure your soulmates are out there probably praying the same prayer
I will put you guys in my prayers.
The lord is with you always
, and im sure your soulmates are out there probably praying the same prayer
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Im 45 and still a virgin. Mauro is right, just never stop praying and trusting in the Lord and make sure you tell him in your prayers "But in the end let your will be done lord".
I will put you guys in my prayers.
The lord is with you always
I know this is an old thread, but age does not matter when it comes to virginity. I do not understand the way people focus on their virginity and age, everything comes in its own time even if we feel it is taking too long to get here. I think sometimes we have to ask ourselves what is more important, having sex for the sake of having sex or understanding that not everything we are called to do as Christians is going to be easy. Some of us who desire to be married and connect with our spouses sexually may never get married, true, but that is a small loss in comparison to abandoning our ideals for the sake of pleasure. Just because we desire something does not mean it is something that God must provide for, it just means it is something we have been given to work with in our lives. That can be tough, especially when our desires are great and the frustration at not being able to have something we want builds.
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I know this is an old thread, but age does not matter when it comes to virginity. I do not understand the way people focus on their virginity and age, everything comes in its own time even if we feel it is taking too long to get here. I think sometimes we have to ask ourselves what is more important, having sex for the sake of having sex or understanding that not everything we are called to do as Christians is going to be easy. Some of us who desire to be married and connect with our spouses sexually may never get married, true, but that is a small loss in comparison to abandoning our ideals for the sake of pleasure. Just because we desire something does not mean it is something that God must provide for, it just means it is something we have been given to work with in our lives. That can be tough, especially when our desires are great and the frustration at not being able to have something we want builds.
Amen Hoofing. When I was in my twenties I used to get very frustrated on this aspect, but in the end it's about trusting in the lord's will, to know that nothing we can ever experience on this earth can compare with what he promises to have in store for us in heaven.
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Ringo84
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I'm currently (unhappily) single myself, so I understand how you feel.
Everything happens in its own time. When it's your time to get married, you will find that special person and get married.
Society seems to put a lot of emphasis on becoming a non-virgin nowadays. There are places online where virgins are made fun of because they haven't had sex by some arbitrary age (usually 18 or 21). There's even a reality show nowadays, I believe, that chronicles the lives of virgins.
I really don't get that. Why your life would be any more enhanced by having sex before the age of twenty-one is beyond my understanding. The fact of the matter is that most of the people online who care so much about virgins have probably not had sex themselves, and are compensating by picking on others. Those who have had sex don't tend to advertise that fact to anyone who will listen (you never hear married couples bragging about making love).
In short: don't worry about it.
Ringo
Everything happens in its own time. When it's your time to get married, you will find that special person and get married.
Society seems to put a lot of emphasis on becoming a non-virgin nowadays. There are places online where virgins are made fun of because they haven't had sex by some arbitrary age (usually 18 or 21). There's even a reality show nowadays, I believe, that chronicles the lives of virgins.
I really don't get that. Why your life would be any more enhanced by having sex before the age of twenty-one is beyond my understanding. The fact of the matter is that most of the people online who care so much about virgins have probably not had sex themselves, and are compensating by picking on others. Those who have had sex don't tend to advertise that fact to anyone who will listen (you never hear married couples bragging about making love).
In short: don't worry about it.
Ringo
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voiceofsoul
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OP, sounds like you're unhappy with your life and how it's turned out. Remember, depression is a signal that you're not living the lifestyle that you believe in and, therefore, need a change to your lifestyle. As for this whole purity thing, well, I personally have concluded that it's a myth. Virginity (or non-virginity) is whatever you make of it. The responses that you've recieved from Christians in this thread confirms this. A Christian will tell a virgin "stay pure until marriage, your purity is special", then a minute later tell a non-virgin "oh, God has a plan, He can make you pure again", then tell the virgin that's dating the non-virgin "you should forgive them for their impurity, God has forgotten this, so you should also." So, what does all of this "logic" lead up to? Absolutely nothing. If purity was such a big deal in the first place, then why should the virgin not be bothered by the non-virgin's previous hay-rolling? That logic just rendered virginity absolutely meaningless. If purity is hyped up as being so invaluable, I would think that we should label all non-virgins as eternally-damaged goods and turn those dirty sods out into the pasture asap. The point I'm trying to make is, premarital sex (or lackthereof) isn't really the end of the world. Sexual intercourse is a physical act. How you see it psychologically is your choice. You're not gonna burst into flames if you have sex before you get married. You're not gonna decrease your chances of finding a good wife if you become a non-virgin before marriage. Odds are, your future wife will be a non-virgin anyways. This is a statistical reality. Are you ready to accept this? My advice: live the life you want and be happy and don't worry so much about "virgins" and "non-virgins". Find other, more important things to judge yourself and other people by.
So, what does all of this "logic" lead up to? Absolutely nothing. If purity was such a big deal in the first place, then why should the virgin not be bothered by the non-virgin's previous hay-rolling? That logic just rendered virginity absolutely meaningless. If purity is hyped up as being so invaluable, I would think that we should label all non-virgins as eternally-damaged goods and turn those dirty sods out into the pasture asap. The point I'm trying to make is, premarital sex (or lackthereof) isn't really the end of the world. Sexual intercourse is a physical act. How you see it psychologically is your choice. You're not gonna burst into flames if you have sex before you get married. You're not gonna decrease your chances of finding a good wife if you become a non-virgin before marriage. Odds are, your future wife will be a non-virgin anyways. This is a statistical reality. Are you ready to accept this? My advice: live the life you want and be happy and don't worry so much about "virgins" and "non-virgins". Find other, more important things to judge yourself and other people by.
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Lethe
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...I personally have concluded that it's a myth. Virginity (or non-virginity) is whatever you make of it. The responses that you've recieved from Christians in this thread confirms this. A Christian will tell a virgin "stay pure until marriage, your purity is special", then a minute later tell a non-virgin "oh, God has a plan, He can make you pure again", then tell the virgin that's dating the non-virgin "you should forgive them for their impurity, God has forgotten this, so you should also."
...My advice: live the life you want and be happy and don't worry so much about "virgins" and "non-virgins". Find other, more important things to judge yourself and other people by.
Best response yet. Cheers.
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Well, being Christian means living for God. It means waiting on Him. It means carrying our cross. God is against premarital sex. Look at the way He designed our bodies, when people have sex it releases a chemical that create a stronger bond between the two.
When you have had other lovers, it takes a lot of work to get them out of your mind while married. I know you want sex, because you're human! But God has also given believers the ability to control their desires.
I think you are extra hungry for sex because you did "everything but."
So you have been stirred up. It's best to put out the fire. Go to God and ask Him to remove that desire during this season of singleness. Stay true to Him. Ask Him for a wife.
"Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee." Psalm 128:1-2
When you have had other lovers, it takes a lot of work to get them out of your mind while married. I know you want sex, because you're human! But God has also given believers the ability to control their desires.
I think you are extra hungry for sex because you did "everything but."
So you have been stirred up. It's best to put out the fire. Go to God and ask Him to remove that desire during this season of singleness. Stay true to Him. Ask Him for a wife.
"Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee." Psalm 128:1-2
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Seriously buddy, being a virgin at age 28 is NOT a shortcoming in God's eyes at all.
Satan plays mind games with mortal humans.
Being a Virgin at any age is only a shortcoming in the eyes of the mortal world and this is what the devil does - try very hard to penetrate your purity by manipulating your fear and ignorance in things that you have not had any experience in.
Whatever you read online about women like men to be more experienced in the bedroom is a load of crap. The technical side of sex can be practised if you have an open mind but what makes it wonderful is the exclusivity for each other and hence the creation of marriage to enhance it.
Also I believe that sex experience has NOTHING to do with how well you perform. Some people are just more talented than others. Some people act like pros in their first sexual intercourse anyway.
No one will know if you are still a virgin or not so dont worry about it.
I was also educated in a Christian single sex girls school until the age of 16 before changing to co-ed in 6th form. I became disillusioned because one of my classmate at teh single sex school was a christian but also a lesbian who advocated strong feminist values and I thought lesbian was accepted by the church because the school did not proactively curb her behaviours. I remember asking her if she has had sex with her gf recently before she went the whole yard of civil partnership with her gf and she said 'yes of course! we are 28 years old.'
But i reckon that is the wrong attitude - she thinks its ok beacuse she lost her virginity early and tries to justify it and I felt she was doing evil by suggesting to me that it is ok to have pre marital sex.
I was nearly raped twice by guys and my boss had tried to initiate an affair with me at work - blatantly asking me if we should get a hotel room after he tried to make me drunk.
In the end, I decided to lose my virginity to a girl a year ago aged 27 and I regretted it. I felt like a relief thinking that at least I did not lose my virginity through rape - however, I immediately realised that this is not God's plan for me so I have stopped seeing this girl.
If only I found this forum earlier - I would had posted here and I would still have my virginity intact
Satan plays mind games with mortal humans.
Being a Virgin at any age is only a shortcoming in the eyes of the mortal world and this is what the devil does - try very hard to penetrate your purity by manipulating your fear and ignorance in things that you have not had any experience in.
Whatever you read online about women like men to be more experienced in the bedroom is a load of crap. The technical side of sex can be practised if you have an open mind but what makes it wonderful is the exclusivity for each other and hence the creation of marriage to enhance it.
Also I believe that sex experience has NOTHING to do with how well you perform. Some people are just more talented than others. Some people act like pros in their first sexual intercourse anyway.
No one will know if you are still a virgin or not so dont worry about it.
I was also educated in a Christian single sex girls school until the age of 16 before changing to co-ed in 6th form. I became disillusioned because one of my classmate at teh single sex school was a christian but also a lesbian who advocated strong feminist values and I thought lesbian was accepted by the church because the school did not proactively curb her behaviours. I remember asking her if she has had sex with her gf recently before she went the whole yard of civil partnership with her gf and she said 'yes of course! we are 28 years old.'
But i reckon that is the wrong attitude - she thinks its ok beacuse she lost her virginity early and tries to justify it and I felt she was doing evil by suggesting to me that it is ok to have pre marital sex.
I was nearly raped twice by guys and my boss had tried to initiate an affair with me at work - blatantly asking me if we should get a hotel room after he tried to make me drunk.
In the end, I decided to lose my virginity to a girl a year ago aged 27 and I regretted it. I felt like a relief thinking that at least I did not lose my virginity through rape - however, I immediately realised that this is not God's plan for me so I have stopped seeing this girl.
If only I found this forum earlier - I would had posted here and I would still have my virginity intact
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jminnesota
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it is special for sure. even if you marry someone who is not a virgin its nice to know that your giving that person something special on your wedding night
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John, I can only speak from what I've heard from some women in the bar that I work in. Several of them mentioned that the one-night-stands they've had were usually a big disappointment and not worth it. I know the media makes sex seem so important, but it isn't. And being a virgin at age 28 doesn't have to be a bad thing.
I was 24 when I met the man of my life. A few weeks before I'd met someone else. He wanted me to come home with him that night and I refused so he asked if we could meet for coffee a few days later. He never called and when we ran into each other again, he didn't seem to know me anymore. I was so glad I didn't go home with him. But that was also the moment when I told God I'd accept being single and wouldn't keep looking and longing and desperately wishing to find someone. Six weeks later I met the right man whom I'm still incredibly happy with 3 1/2 years later. I think that sometimes, we need to put things in God's hands, let Him take control and accept our current situation. And then let Him suprise us. If you can, lay this down at God's feet and ask him to show you the right partner.
Being a virgin, no matter at what age, should not be an issue. Sadly, these days it seems like there is a competition and if you're over 20 and still a virgin, something is wrong with you. I thought so as well and now, looking back in disgust at some of the men I was close to just going home with for sex, I am so incredibly happy I didn't do it! If I had done that, it would probably haunt me forever. Waiting for the right person is better in the long run, even though the sex-obsessed society might say something different.
I was 24 when I met the man of my life. A few weeks before I'd met someone else. He wanted me to come home with him that night and I refused so he asked if we could meet for coffee a few days later. He never called and when we ran into each other again, he didn't seem to know me anymore. I was so glad I didn't go home with him. But that was also the moment when I told God I'd accept being single and wouldn't keep looking and longing and desperately wishing to find someone. Six weeks later I met the right man whom I'm still incredibly happy with 3 1/2 years later. I think that sometimes, we need to put things in God's hands, let Him take control and accept our current situation. And then let Him suprise us. If you can, lay this down at God's feet and ask him to show you the right partner.
Being a virgin, no matter at what age, should not be an issue. Sadly, these days it seems like there is a competition and if you're over 20 and still a virgin, something is wrong with you. I thought so as well and now, looking back in disgust at some of the men I was close to just going home with for sex, I am so incredibly happy I didn't do it! If I had done that, it would probably haunt me forever. Waiting for the right person is better in the long run, even though the sex-obsessed society might say something different.
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J.B.
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I'm 23 years old. I have been living relatively isolated from others my age since about elementary school, as I just wasn't very social during my jr. and high school years. During those years, I would interact on a mainly functional level, not very much outside of what was necessary, and that's still true today. I have gradually become a little bit more socially active with some others since my entry into community college back in 2008, but I have not yet made anything I'd term a friendship. As far as the topic is concerned, that's enough for you to make the connection that I am still chaste. At times, I even consider celibacy, as I would rather not contribute to a woman bearing a child into this sinful world, an existence that could most likely be tainted by all of this filth. I too think about sexuality, but so far I have chosen to abstain from it, as I only want it if I am in a marriage. I don't want to be a hypocrite to my own beliefs. I understand that this is very difficult to many others around my age, and I respect the fact that you would come here or ask Christians for advice. My advice is to stick with your beliefs, stand for them, and not to give in to what the majority of the world deems "right" or "pleasurable."
Please feel free to correct me if you think I have the wrong point of view that a Christian should have, but I am extremely pessimistic regarding the world. I believe that it's true; with each advancing generation, people exhibit more and more of the worst that human nature is capable of. We are effectively living in days not that unlike those of Noah before the flood.
Please feel free to correct me if you think I have the wrong point of view that a Christian should have, but I am extremely pessimistic regarding the world. I believe that it's true; with each advancing generation, people exhibit more and more of the worst that human nature is capable of. We are effectively living in days not that unlike those of Noah before the flood.
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Beauty4Ashes
All that I need, is a song in my heart. . .
Sex is meant for bonding two together in marriage(yes that can include having children). Don't waste it on anything or anyone else.
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seanfaith
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Definetely save your virginity. I'm a new believer, but lost mine at the age of 18. Because I thought I had to get it done, like it was a problem. It's upsetting to know that I lost my virginity to someone I had no relations with and didn't have any feelings for. I wish my parents had raised me within a church so that I may have prevented this mistake.
Your virginity is sacred, don't lose it to someone who your not in love with, or not married too for that case. You'll regret it, I am evidence of that.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm 25 and may have lost my virginity but haven't had a relationship for longer than three months. But in saying that, there are plenty of women who are interested in me, I am well aware of it. There's a time and a place in God's plan for everyone. Just keep doing the right things, focusing on God's word, be happy, keep positive and it might just happen. Stay optimistic.
Your virginity is sacred, don't lose it to someone who your not in love with, or not married too for that case. You'll regret it, I am evidence of that.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm 25 and may have lost my virginity but haven't had a relationship for longer than three months. But in saying that, there are plenty of women who are interested in me, I am well aware of it. There's a time and a place in God's plan for everyone. Just keep doing the right things, focusing on God's word, be happy, keep positive and it might just happen. Stay optimistic.
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