Becoming a Christian again? Doing it alone?

[Pandora83de]

Hi!

I'm having some struggles with faith and I hope you can somehow help me with your input. And please forgive my ramblings!

For the past weeks I have been in the process of or thinking about becoming a Christian again. When I was 13 years old I became a Christian on a youth trip from a church and for the next 2 1/2 years I was totally committed and involved with this church. But due to various developments I became a bit more critical of their ways and when I started to not attend every single activity I got cut out. Because at the time I was also having serious personal problems I was so shocked and hurt by this. I regarded my friends there as my family and trusted them with my struggles and problems and suddenly all my best friends turned against me and I was left alone. This is always a painful experience but it especially is when you are barely 16 years old. Anyway, I became totally embittered towards the Christian faith and didn't want anything to do with it anymore.

I'm 23 years old now and although it still hurts and prevents me from trusting people completely I am beginning to come to terms with it. I have always known that at some point I would have to face my issues with Christianity and now for the first time I am ready to maybe embrace it again. I just miss a lot so much. And although I've tried to find a lifesense in a lot of things, travel, my studies and career, it just can't give me what I'm looking for.

My question is: Let's say I really commit myself again, is it possible to do it all alone, without a church or other Christian friends? Although I'm still really scared to be in a Christian community again I also really long for it. So much that last night I actually went to a Catholic Mass. I have never been to a Mass before and since I made such bad experiences with my Protestant church I thought I would try it with Catholic. I've also always been kind of fascinated with Catholic ritual. BUT, I absolutely could not get into it. There was no relationship between the priest and the people and the worship had the quality of a sleeping pill. There was no spontaniety, everything seemed so rigid and even prayers were read from a book. I really don't want to trash the Catholic way, I know that it is right for a lot of people and I highly respect it but I realized that it could never be for me.

So, does anyone have experience with doing this all alone for oneself?

 

[s_gunter]

It's possible, but not recommended, even though that's how I did it more than a decade ago. I eventually did find a church though. But, like I said, it took a while. I had to find out what was right, and conform my beliefs to that, instead of forming my beliefs, and then finding a church community that matches.

Once I had done that, everything fell into place. I do have a church home now. I do have that "church community." I can stick with it through thick and thin because of that. It's not God that's messing up. It's not Christianity that's awful. It's the people within it.

Just because a person is Christian, it doesn't mean that their free will disappeared. Being a Christian doesn't make you incapable of sinning again. We still have our fallen nature. But, with Christ in us, we are given the grace needed to stop being the way we were. At the same time, we still can refuse that grace, and not change at all.

I had to be hurt by various Christian communities in order to be taught that. It actually increased my faith in Him. It taught me who my Savior really is. It taught me that we all need him, in order to fix what is wrong with the world. Humans can't do it alone.

Maybe this is what God is trying to teach you too?

 

[WashedClean]

Hi Pandora,

I agree with s_gunter, don't let other "Christians" define Christ for you. Although as followers of Christ we should be like Him, this is something that God does over time. I would also point out that you were very young back then, and your friends may or may not have been Christians. Also, young teenagers can be really immature and hurtful. I'm not trying to justify or excuse their behavior at all.

Jesus will never hurt you, so just put your faith and trust in Him. Renew your relationship and tell him you want to come back. He will do it the instant that you ask.

Then you should try to find a non-denominational church where you can grow in the Lord. It's not essential, but you need to be around other Christians who will lift you up. Keep seeking a church until you find somewhere comfortable.

God bless you!

Jill/WashedClean

 

[Sketcher]

Well, we don't necessarily become Christians for the company. We become Christians because we believe God, wish to follow Him, and be forgiven.

What you went through was traumatic. I am sorry that it happened to you. However, there ARE safe churches out there. It is my prayer that you will find one and that you will find Christians who you really can trust. We do exist, trust me on that. If you come back, God will lead you to a safe congregation sooner or later. He's not out to hurt you, He's out to heal you.

 

[MelissaShae]

You are not alone. Jesus is with you every step of the way. Trust and confide in him and he will lead to you people who will love you, just as he has lead you here.

God bless you and if you ever what to talk please send me a PM. Don't give up on Jesus, he will never give up on you.

 

[Pandora83de]

A big thank you to you all. I really don't how I will decide, I guess time will have to tell that, but somehow I have the feeling that Jesus does not seem to want to let me go. That makes me happy and nervous at the same time.

It's not God that's messing up. It's not Christianity that's awful. It's the people within it.

Just because a person is Christian, it doesn't mean that their free will disappeared. Being a Christian doesn't make you incapable of sinning again. We still have our fallen nature. But, with Christ in us, we are given the grace needed to stop being the way we were. At the same time, we still can refuse that grace, and not change at all.

I know that it is not really God that is to blame but at that time I just wanted out. Somehow I have to learn how to have faith again. And I also know that Christians are just people too and not perfect but I do expect a Christian to try to be more loving. But in my experience non-Christians are more like that. And it does make you wonder.

Hi Pandora,

I would also point out that you were very young back then, and your friends may or may not have been Christians. Also, young teenagers can be really immature and hurtful.

Jill/WashedClean

It wasn't just my young friends, people I was equally close to, that were the age I am now and even our pastor. As I'm coming closer to overcome the past I'm also closer to forgiving them but the trust is gone.

Well, we don't necessarily become Christians for the company. We become Christians because we believe God, wish to follow Him, and be forgiven.

I know that but somehow I ache for it.

You are not alone. Jesus is with you every step of the way. Trust and confide in him and he will lead to you people who will love you, just as he has lead you here.

God bless you and if you ever what to talk please send me a PM. Don't give up on Jesus, he will never give up on you.

Thank you, I may take you up on your offer.

 

[pete56]

HI Pandora

I can relate to some of what you are sayin gin this thread. I had experiences through my life where I was involved closely with a church and then for various reasons became estranged or damaged by the members.

I now have a strong dislike for any form of 'established' church (by that I mean any church that is identified to some formalised denomination!). But I have found that there are many people that have the same sort of issues as you and I and I have found ways of growing my faith without a lot of the trappings of formal church membership.

The most amazing thing I have found recently is an online church! That is right on the internet!

It can be found here:

http://www.lifechurch.tv/?p=91

and it is called Lifechurch.tv. There is even a campus on SecondLife for those of us that do want to have an impression of attending a specific place without having to be there.

As well as thaat I follow the teaching of a number of good pastors online using iTunes podcasts. I find Pr Bob Coy from Florida great, and Ilove the messages of Joyce Meyer in her Enjoying Everyday life programme. I know if you take the time to sample some you will find a teacher that suits you and God will use that to grow your faith.

If you want any other links PM me.

Pete

 

[Pandora83de]

Hi everybody!

It's been about two months since I've posted this thread and I just wanted to thank you all again for your kind words and advice and tell you that I have decided to become a Christian again and to fully commit myself to God again. I remember back then saying to God that technically I know that he is not to blame for what happened to me but that I had to turn away from him and sometime maybe eventually come back. Over the last weeks I have done a lot of introspection, reading and praying and well, I just felt that the time has come. And although I still have a lot to work out I trust that in the end it will come out okay.

Right now I do want to stay alone but I also know that eventually I will take the leap and will try to find a church again. Until then I'll just try to immerse myself with the forums here! I guess in the future I will ask a lot of questions on the forum, because I feel like I want to start all over and I now question a lot of what's been taught to me in the past.

I hope some of you will read this!

 

[Sketcher]

Glad to hear the good news. Finding a good church that will heal you instead of harm you is the next step, and I hope you take it.

 

[junezephyr]

Pandora, I've been doing it "on my own" for awhile now since recommitting myself to God late last year. It can be a bit tough at times, because fellowship is very important. I plan on settling in a church at some point, but haven't decided on which one yet. In the meantime, studying the Bible, talking with Christian friends, and listening to Christian podcasts has been a great help to me.

Ultimately, just keep yourself focused on Christ, alone or not, because He alone is the way and the truth- not any particular denomination or group of people. Keep clinging to Him and you won't go wrong!

These forums can be helpful too.

 

[foxsta]

Last year, I converted to the Catholic faith and was doing it alone...still am since the rest of my family don't practice Christianity unless it is Christmas and Easter and my Grandparents are anti-Catholic. PM me with any questions if you want or keep posting them here and I will be sure to respond if I can...

 

[Pandora83de]

Foxsta, send you a pm!

 

[foxsta]

Foxsta, send you a pm!

Got it an replied! Thanks!

 

[AvgJoe]

Hi everybody!

It's been about two months since I've posted this thread and I just wanted to thank you all again for your kind words and advice and tell you that I have decided to become a Christian again and to fully commit myself to God again. I remember back then saying to God that technically I know that he is not to blame for what happened to me but that I had to turn away from him and sometime maybe eventually come back. Over the last weeks I have done a lot of introspection, reading and praying and well, I just felt that the time has come. And although I still have a lot to work out I trust that in the end it will come out okay.

Right now I do want to stay alone but I also know that eventually I will take the leap and will try to find a church again. Until then I'll just try to immerse myself with the forums here! I guess in the future I will ask a lot of questions on the forum, because I feel like I want to start all over and I now question a lot of what's been taught to me in the past.

I hope some of you will read this!

Hi Pandora,

It's good to hear of the decision you made. Praise God!

Until you make the next step of finding a church home, you may find the following link helpful: http://www.ptm.org/ . This is a link to Plain Truth Ministries. They have an online church, Church Without Walls, with biblically sound teaching, a free bi-monthly magazine, Plain Truth, and a weekly email newsletter. I do have a church home but, also, find Plain Truth Ministires to be a welcomed addition of sound biblical teaching.

Also, you can download and listen to my Pastor's weekly sermons. All sermons can be found on our church's website, here~~~> http://www.fbp.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=40&Itemid=60

God bless!

 

[Jordo]

If you go to attend a church, don't feel scared, i understand you have had troubles, however ever single person on the face of this earth besides Jesus have been sinners. NO one is perfect including Christians. I believe that you shouldn't be scared and that the part within you thats scared is being tricked by the enemy. If you find church your comfortable in, talk to a leader or someone in the congregation about your struggles, find someone that will help you out and further advance you in the Kingdom Of God. We are all sinners don't feel scared God is a God of Mercy and Forgiveness. He will accept anyone into His Kingdom, through his blood that he gave for us on the cross for the sins of all humanity.

God Bless You Man You can do it
Jordo

 

[Godslilgurlalways]

Hi everybody!

It's been about two months since I've posted this thread and I just wanted to thank you all again for your kind words and advice and tell you that I have decided to become a Christian again and to fully commit myself to God again. I remember back then saying to God that technically I know that he is not to blame for what happened to me but that I had to turn away from him and sometime maybe eventually come back. Over the last weeks I have done a lot of introspection, reading and praying and well, I just felt that the time has come. And although I still have a lot to work out I trust that in the end it will come out okay.

Right now I do want to stay alone but I also know that eventually I will take the leap and will try to find a church again. Until then I'll just try to immerse myself with the forums here! I guess in the future I will ask a lot of questions on the forum, because I feel like I want to start all over and I now question a lot of what's been taught to me in the past.

I hope some of you will read this!

Praise God I am so happy to hear that welcome to the family of God.You have made one of the most wonderful and important decsions to accept him. If you ever need help with anything at all please feel free to pm me

 

[MessianicJewishGuy]

Hi!

I'm having some struggles with faith and I hope you can somehow help me with your input. And please forgive my ramblings!

For the past weeks I have been in the process of or thinking about becoming a Christian again. When I was 13 years old I became a Christian on a youth trip from a church and for the next 2 1/2 years I was totally committed and involved with this church. But due to various developments I became a bit more critical of their ways and when I started to not attend every single activity I got cut out. Because at the time I was also having serious personal problems I was so shocked and hurt by this. I regarded my friends there as my family and trusted them with my struggles and problems and suddenly all my best friends turned against me and I was left alone. This is always a painful experience but it especially is when you are barely 16 years old. Anyway, I became totally embittered towards the Christian faith and didn't want anything to do with it anymore.

I'm 23 years old now and although it still hurts and prevents me from trusting people completely I am beginning to come to terms with it. I have always known that at some point I would have to face my issues with Christianity and now for the first time I am ready to maybe embrace it again. I just miss a lot so much. And although I've tried to find a lifesense in a lot of things, travel, my studies and career, it just can't give me what I'm looking for.

My question is: Let's say I really commit myself again, is it possible to do it all alone, without a church or other Christian friends? Although I'm still really scared to be in a Christian community again I also really long for it. So much that last night I actually went to a Catholic Mass. I have never been to a Mass before and since I made such bad experiences with my Protestant church I thought I would try it with Catholic. I've also always been kind of fascinated with Catholic ritual. BUT, I absolutely could not get into it. There was no relationship between the priest and the people and the worship had the quality of a sleeping pill. There was no spontaniety, everything seemed so rigid and even prayers were read from a book. I really don't want to trash the Catholic way, I know that it is right for a lot of people and I highly respect it but I realized that it could never be for me.

So, does anyone have experience with doing this all alone for oneself?

Everyone has struggles. Here is a website so you can find a Messianic Synagogue to support you:

http://www.iamcs.org/Directory.php

 

[Aibrean]

You know I don't think your issue was ever "stopping being Christian and starting up again". I think it is more of being able to walk AS a Christian. I mean once you believe you believe...and it seems that you never stopped believing, you just haven't found the right church to let you walk as a Christian and grow as one.

I was in the same situation a couple years ago. I lost interest in going to church...I had a lot of things in my life that people didn't understand or couldn't relate to (like suing a boss...he hadn't paid ANY of his employees and I couldn't let it just go...and I had talked to him about paying me and he'd always make excuses. I had a prayer request that the suit letter would reach him and everyone looked at me strangely). SO anyway...I just stopped going. It took about a year for me to want to go to church again but I never stopped "being a Christian". I just had to get my bearings again. Me and my brother went church hunting online...to find a church that shared the same beliefs as us and wasn't overly contemporary or liberal. That's how we came across our LCMS church. We felt welcomed and I've gotten plugged in as the new webmaster and revamped their website. Now this week I'm getting baptized and officially am becoming a member.

 

[Netbug009]

You are not alone. God is always there.

 

[rocklife]

maybe because of your past experience, it is helpful if you get rooted personally in the Bible, really reading and studying it with prayer for Holy Spirit help, and then after seeing what the Bible teaches, which could take a while, then make a decision about congregations or things like that. It is easier to see when you have biblical knowledge in order to make a decision if you agree with their practices or not and if they really are teaching the Biblical Jesus.

you can listen to online bible readings with www.biblegateway.com on the bottom it says "listen to bible" something like that. and keep studies. maybe let the internet fellowship be it for a while if you really have nothing else, at least we can pray for you even with internet