• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

Baptism without parental consent plus more

Valid?

  • No

    Votes: 1 5.0%
  • Yes

    Votes: 15 75.0%
  • Other (post below)

    Votes: 4 20.0%

  • Total voters
    20

Radagast

comes and goes
Site Supporter
Dec 10, 2003
23,896
9,864
✟344,531.00
Country
Australia
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
does not God also say to honour your father and mother?

Yes, but obeying God comes first.

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, and even his own life—he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26).
 
Upvote 0

Dave-W

Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner!
Site Supporter
Jun 18, 2014
30,522
16,853
Maryland - just north of D.C.
Visit site
✟772,040.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Messianic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
Would it be morally ok though to bypass his non religious parents?
My own mom (of blessed memory) grew up during the Depression hearing the Prez on the radio, and as a small child wondered why Jesus - King of the World - did not speak on the radio. Her parents were anti-God and anti-church. At age 16 (circa 1949) she went to a local church, made a confession of faith and was baptized. She came home and told my grandparents she was now a Christian and got kicked out of the house. So she packed up a suitcase and started off down the street, with no idea where to go. An hour or 2 later my grandad took off to find her. He brought her back home but warned her not to talk to them about God or church or anything like that.

The point is, the bible seems to assume adulthood in the teens; when one becomes able to make their own moral and religious choices. It worked for my mom; she was a strong believer from that moment to her last dying breath. She mentored dozens of young women in the faith. Her and my stepdad spent hours every day after they retired praying for people.

So being baptized or making a confession of faith during your teen years can be a true experience that is totally valid, even when the parents are opposed.
 
Upvote 0

DamianWarS

Follower of Isa Al Masih
Site Supporter
May 15, 2008
10,158
3,442
✟1,000,930.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Yes, but obeying God comes first.

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, and even his own life—he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26).

this doesn't feel like a denial of self issue. The individual's parents don't seem to be holding captive his heart so I don't see this being the issue. I see the best witness to his parents as being transparent to them and allowing them the opportunity to support him, what happens after that is up to him and how the spirit is leading him.
 
Upvote 0

Radagast

comes and goes
Site Supporter
Dec 10, 2003
23,896
9,864
✟344,531.00
Country
Australia
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I see the best witness to his parents as being transparent to them

I see the best action being obedience to God, which means being baptised.

Mark 16:16: Whoever believes and is baptised will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.

It doesn't say "whoever believes and is baptised if their parents approve."
 
Upvote 0

Paidiske

Clara bonam audax
Site Supporter
Apr 25, 2016
35,876
20,147
45
Albury, Australia
Visit site
✟1,714,712.00
Country
Australia
Gender
Female
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Married
But nor does it say that there can't be a period of preparation for baptism. There have been times in the church when such a preparation period has in fact taken years. If this young man were to come to me, I would likely encourage him to see the next couple of years as an extended period of intentional preparation, while waiting until he was no longer a minor to make a life-defining public statement.

And I would be addressing the issues of abuse in the family as a priority, as well.
 
Upvote 0

Eric Abbott

Active Member
Dec 8, 2016
60
46
37
Texas
Visit site
✟28,994.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Married
Took the words right out of my mouth!

I am a big proponent of believer's baptism, because I see it not only as a declaration of faith, but also as the same symbol of commitment as the marriage ring during marriage. That is a highly personal decision.

However, is 15 old enough? Depends on the person. I know that in Germany, the age of consent for religion matter is 14. However, I only woke up to spiritual matters in my early 20, so how about that.
Then there is the question of how his parents are with regards to him. Will they be merely annoyed if he got baptised, or will they be furious/violent/absuing or anything of the sort.

To be fair, maybe patience is order. We are not to be a stumbling block for others and we ought to obey parents whenever possible without going against God's will. Baptism is great, but I believe that it is not essential. Faith saves, not baptism. Maybe he can wait until he moves out or at least turns 18? You see, I would be inclined to believe that this is a lesson of God. It will show Jake that sometimes, patience is required and that the well-being of others at one's own expense is pleasing to God. 'Now!' is a very common attitude for youngsters, after all. And who knows, maybe he matures and finds out more things about hmself and God and decides to join a church that fits him better.
 
Upvote 0
Mar 10, 2018
16
14
25
East Coast
✟24,430.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
why doesn't he just get baptized at a Catholic church?

We should honour and respect our parents but not at the expense of the gospel. if he was really mature and intentional he would sit his parents down and tell them how much Christ's means to him and that he wishes to get baptized and would love if they could support this decision but if they won't support this he will respect them and wait until he is an adult or is no longer a dependant. This will get their their attention and they will (probably) respect him in turn for this. It also put's the ball in their court and often that's all they want, once they have it they may give him the ok. The Catholic church however may have some other thoughts about this and he should consult the church he plans on following to see what their advice is, certainly hiding it is not the right answer.

This already happen and he ends up getting yelled and cursed at. Then they don't even take him to church as a punishment.
 
Upvote 0

Meowzltov

Freylekher Yid
Aug 3, 2014
18,606
4,466
64
Southern California
✟67,237.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Judaism
Marital Status
Celibate
Politics
US-Others
I honestly believe the Catholic Church is going to change canon law over this.

Current canon law accept the baptism of a child without parental consent IF THE CHILD IS IN IMMINENT PERIL OF DYING. I don't think the Original Poster qualifies.

There was a very famous case where a Jewish toddler was dying and its Catholic nanny baptized it. Then the child recovered. Since a baptized child has the right to be raised in the Christian faith, the Pope had him forcibly removed from his Jewish parents. He grew up to be anti-Semitic. This was just WRONG on so many different levels. This is why I say the Church will reverse canon law.
 
Upvote 0

Meowzltov

Freylekher Yid
Aug 3, 2014
18,606
4,466
64
Southern California
✟67,237.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Judaism
Marital Status
Celibate
Politics
US-Others
This already happen and he ends up getting yelled and cursed at. Then they don't even take him to church as a punishment.
The Catholic Church won't baptize him. It only baptizes without parental consent if the child is in imminent danger of dying.
 
Upvote 0

Radagast

comes and goes
Site Supporter
Dec 10, 2003
23,896
9,864
✟344,531.00
Country
Australia
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I honestly believe the Catholic Church is going to change canon law over this.

Current canon law accept the baptism of a child without parental consent IF THE CHILD IS IN IMMINENT PERIL OF DYING. I don't think the Original Poster qualifies.

To the best of my knowledge, those rules apply to infants.

I don't think a 15-year old counts as an infant.
 
Upvote 0

Meowzltov

Freylekher Yid
Aug 3, 2014
18,606
4,466
64
Southern California
✟67,237.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Judaism
Marital Status
Celibate
Politics
US-Others
To the best of my knowledge, those rules apply to infants.

I don't think a 15-year old counts as an infant.
But a 15 year old is still under their parent's authority. I know that in OBOB teens have come in with this exact problem, and they have not been advised to pursue baptism against their parent's wishes.
 
Upvote 0

Radagast

comes and goes
Site Supporter
Dec 10, 2003
23,896
9,864
✟344,531.00
Country
Australia
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
  • Agree
Reactions: Phil 1:21
Upvote 0

Phil 1:21

Well-Known Member
Apr 3, 2017
5,869
4,395
United States
✟152,342.00
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
"If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." Matthew 18:6

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple."
Luke 14:26

God outranks parents.
 
Upvote 0

Meowzltov

Freylekher Yid
Aug 3, 2014
18,606
4,466
64
Southern California
✟67,237.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Judaism
Marital Status
Celibate
Politics
US-Others
"If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." Matthew 18:6

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple."
Luke 14:26

God outranks parents.

God is on the parents' side.

Honor they father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the earth.
 
Upvote 0

hedrick

Senior Veteran
Site Supporter
Feb 8, 2009
20,491
10,859
New Jersey
✟1,342,594.00
Faith
Presbyterian
Marital Status
Single
I think the alternatives some are proposing here are a bit too sharp. You're supposed to obey parents, but there are limits. If your parents tell you to kill someone, of course you don't. The question is where to draw the line.

If you believed that the kid would go to hell if he died without baptism, I think he should disobey his parents. But Protestant denominations don't believe baptism is required in quite that sense, and in Catholic practice baptism of intent would apply

In that case I'd say he should hold off until he's 18 (or more likely, graduates from high school). I would also suggest that he talk with the pastor of the church, and explain the situation. That way the church would know to involve him in things as if he was a member, to the extent possible. (Communion is likely to be the most difficult issue.)
 
Upvote 0