Trigger Warning Bad Day

[Shadowkat]

I had a really bad day yesterday. I went to the VA and they told me that I had skin cancer. I consider myself blessed in that it was small and of the most treatable kind. The doctors immediately cut away the patch of skin in a out-patient procedure. Unfortunately, after cutting it out they proceded to burn the area where the skin had been: good for killing cancer; not so good for my PTSD. Because of the smell of my own burnt flesh I spent the 2 hour drive home reliving the carnage of my tour in Iraq. I wanted to puke. I shut down my emotions in the way that I do, but no matter how much I locked them down, the images wouldn't stop. we rolled down the windows to help with the smell and turned up the radio for distraction (K-LOVE:-shameless advertisement-). I could not close my eyes because I would only see death and terrors.
I know the Lord was with me. He touched me through the Christian songs about breaking chains. It was the wierdest thing sitting there with tears running down my cheeks; I could not tell if they were tears of sadness or despair or joy. I felt the Lord's presence, but nothing else. Like feeling the wind on your face, but not the cold it brings because your face is already numb. I thank the Lord for His presence. After a while the memories will fade away again and I will let myself feel, but right now I really don't want to go to sleep; don't want to dream. It was a really bad day.

 

[Pyong Ping]

I had a really bad day yesterday. I went to the VA and they told me that I had skin cancer. I consider myself blessed in that it was small and of the most treatable kind. The doctors immediately cut away the patch of skin in a out-patient procedure. Unfortunately, after cutting it out they proceded to burn the area where the skin had been: good for killing cancer; not so good for my PTSD. Because of the smell of my own burnt flesh I spent the 2 hour drive home reliving the carnage of my tour in Iraq. I wanted to puke. I shut down my emotions in the way that I do, but no matter how much I locked them down, the images wouldn't stop. we rolled down the windows to help with the smell and turned up the radio for distraction (K-LOVE:-shameless advertisement-). I could not close my eyes because I would only see death and terrors.
I know the Lord was with me. He touched me through the Christian songs about breaking chains. It was the wierdest thing sitting there with tears running down my cheeks; I could not tell if they were tears of sadness or despair or joy. I felt the Lord's presence, but nothing else. Like feeling the wind on your face, but not the cold it brings because your face is already numb. I thank the Lord for His presence. After a while the memories will fade away again and I will let myself feel, but right now I really don't want to go to sleep; don't want to dream. It was a really bad day.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Peace be with you, be in you, and be healed.

 

[gennypearl]

my ex also had ptsd. he had tours in iraq and afghanistan. what worked for him is reading the Bible, prayers and there's always music when he goes to sleep. it doesn't always work all the time but at least it helped somehow. prayers for you. i hope sleep will find you.

 

[Pyong Ping]

...but right now I really don't want to go to sleep; don't want to dream. It was a really bad day.

Psalms 127:2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.

Dwell upon Calvary, listen to this (listen to Chapters 74, Gethsemane, 78, Calvary, 79 It Is Finished at least):

https://www.thedesireofagesproject.com/

 

[Pyong Ping]

I had a really bad day yesterday. ... It was a really bad day.

"To day" is the day of Salvation.

May you be refreshed in the Lord Jesus.

Numbers 6:24 The LORD bless thee, and keep thee:

Numbers 6:25 The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:

Numbers 6:26 The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.​

Some of the longer video as that are looped. Yet here is some nice short ones.

Going through battles spiritual, battles physical?

Psalms 24:8 Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle.

Exodus 15:3 The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name.

Revelation 19:11 And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war.

Psalms 45:3 Gird thy sword upon thy thigh, O most mighty, with thy glory and thy majesty.

Psalms 45:4 And in thy majesty ride prosperously because of truth and meekness and righteousness; and thy right hand shall teach thee terrible things.

Exodus 14:14 The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.​

 

[Pyong Ping]

...I know the Lord was with me. ...

Gift to you.

 

[Pyong Ping]

.... I thank the Lord for His presence....

I AM with you alway ...

 

[Pyong Ping]

... After a while the memories will fade away again ...

Let Jesus take them from you. You do not have to hold on to them anymore. Ask Jesus, even now, Take them from me please.

 

[Pyong Ping]

I... I really don't want to go to sleep; ....

The devil also sought out Job in the night. God is there, and he says, "This far, and no father."

 

[Pyong Ping]

If we are led of the Holy Spirit,

Our walking with Jesus by faith here,

will take us higher than the road of Everest,

above the heights of the way of clouds,

beyond paths of the stars of heaven,

into the everlasting gates of the eternal city,

to the very throne of God itself,

and into the presence of our Brother Jesus and Father,

who will say,

Well done, good and faithful servant,

enter thou into the joy of thy lord my child.

 

[Pyong Ping]

He has prayed on earth that we might believe

He is glorified

He watches intently over his sheep

He never wearies of watching over us by day and by night, having patient and tender loving care

He loves his flock, knowing them all by name

 

[Pyong Ping]

He seeks after the lost

He politely knocks upon the door of our hearts, calling our names

He says, their hearts as an adamant stone, but let us obey his command, Take ye away the stone.

Do we see our elder Brother Jesus by faith?

He will welcome you and turn not away any that humbly call upon his name

 

[Pyong Ping]

He is ascended into the heavenly places to prepare a place for us

He promised and he does not lie, he will come again that we may be with him and see him as he is

 

[Pyong Ping]

Imagine ~ what the garden of Eden looked like before sin

This was written to heal the mind of the King:

 

[Pyong Ping]

 

[Pyong Ping]

King David knew that godly music can push back all the forces of hell ... for the God of Music and Psalm, is the Healing Balm for the sin sick soul ...

 

[JIMINZ]

2Ti. 1:7
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear;
but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

1Cor. 2:16
For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him?
But we have the mind of Christ.

To the storm raging in your head I say, Peace be Still, and to you personally, be healed in the name of Jesus, that the Father might be Glorified in the Son.

 

[Pyong Ping]

 

[Brotherly Spirit]

Sorry you had to go through both war and cancer. I can't imagine it ever being easy, but I believe it does take a great character to handle and overcome. Hopefully you remember what' you've been through for the better, also that God and us are with you as well.

 

[Shadowkat]

In the name of Jesus Christ, Peace be with you, be in you, and be healed.

Thank you for the blessing and the videos. The Fish were quite impressive and relaxing.