Bad Advice

[Easter-ner]

Teach your dog a lesson by making her sleep on the bed every night. Of course, this means you may have to sleep on the sofa but it will be worth it to teach your dog.

What's the best way to remove snow off my car?

 

[jsimms615]

take your cat and use it as a scrub brush to wipe off your car.



I'm thinking of switching jobs because the one I am at right now is kinda boring. What should I do?

 

[Romanseight2005]

Become a thief. It won't be boring and you can be your own boss.

What should I get my son who is turning 13 in a few days, for his birthday?

 

[One day at a time]

A vacuum cleaner....because I'm sure that he loves to clean....that way he can help out all the time!

My neck is driving me nuts....what should I do?

 

[jsimms615]

I hear water skiing at high speeds will help neck pain.



My son wants a dog, but we already have three cats. What should I do?

 

[Easter-ner]

Teach one of the cats to fetch so it'll be just like having a dog. Cats are very trainable.

The handle on the toilet isn't working. What should I do?

 

[Romanseight2005]

Just keep eliminating your waste in it, and don't worry about flushing. It will smell up the whole house quite nicely, better than a scented candle.

What should I do if the electricity goes out during a snow storm?

 

[Easter-ner]

"It will smell up the whole house quite nicely, better than a scented candle." LOL

When the electricity goes out, create a bonfire in your living room ... shouldn't matter if you have a fireplace or not. If you don't have any wood then burn your shoes!

I just burned my tongue on some hot food. What should I do?

 

[Romanseight2005]

Drink a bottle of extra hot sauce.

I think my ears are infected. What should I do?

 

[Easter-ner]

This time of year the best thing to do is join the polar bear club and go swimming in a frozen lake. Make sure to submerge your head a lot because the frigid water will freeze all the germs in your ears.

Speaking of freezing, my computer keeps freezing up and it won't work. What should I do?

 

[Romanseight2005]

Make sure you keep going to lots of sites, and adding new programs. Make sure those sites are not secure. Do not delete any of your cookies, and whatever you do, don't reformat or run any cleaners.

A dog bit me just under my eye, what should I do about it?

 

[Easter-ner]

There's no need to seek proper medical attention. They'd just want to stitch up the wound and clean it ... that's what wussy's do. This is the perfect opportunity to give your immune system a workout. If your eye swells shut, that just means your immune system is working. Also, it will give your face some extra character so be sure to put on a big smile when entering room ... it's your chance to be the star.

My jeans have a tear on the back pocket. What should I do?

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Place your house keys, address, car keys, credit cards, all your loose change in the torn back pocket and take a jog down the main road of any bad neighbourhood.

My cat refuses to go out last thing at night. What should I do?

 

[thriftyEvie]

open the door and give him a toss

My dog loves to chew the mini blinds, what should I do?

 

[Easter-ner]

As with any carnivore, once the animal has developed a taste for something, it's impossible to trust it again. In your particular case, your dog has developed a taste for mini blinds so they won't feel safe there anymore. In fact, all types of window coverings are at risk. You have two choices: your dog will have to be donated to a zoo to protect window coverings everywhere or you'll have get rid of all your windows.

I'm having troubles getting out of bed Sunday mornings for church. What should I do?

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Take a couple of sleeping pills and have a lie in.

Some students have told me that they've not completed their homework. What should I do to them?

 

[thriftyEvie]

give them a break, and give them another day

my two boys fight all the time what should I do?

 

[Romanseight2005]

See which one comes out alive. It will be cheaper only having to raise one.

It has gotten really cold here. What should I do to stay warm?

 

[Easter-ner]

Move somewhere warmer like Saudi Arabia, Libya, Iran, Iraq, Sudan, etc.

My socks keep sliding off my feet when I wear my boots. What should I do?

 

[thriftyEvie]

wrap rubberbands around your ankles, that should keep them from sliding.

My son loves Elvis, constantly playing his music. It's not that I don't like him, it's just that music is played over and over again. What should I do?