Avoiding desperation......

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I feel like this isn't something that isn't talked about enough.

I feel a lot of Christian singles burn with a desire be married or have a girlfriend/boyfriend that they'll be with anyone.

After picking my mom up from work today and hearing her tell me the extent of garabage
her coworker put up with just to have a man by her side

It inspired me to talk about this.
------------------------------------------

So I wanted to make open discussion of just how to avoid desperation

How can God fill us up and make us content?

How does our mindset need to change?

or anything else you have to offer..

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

We need to remove a scarcity mindset that plagues most single and lonely people. A scarcity mindset also makes you less attractive to the opposite sex, especially if you are male.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

We need to remove a scarcity mindset that plagues most single and lonely people. A scarcity mindset also makes you less attractive to the opposite sex, especially if you are male.

I was watching a video that really put things in perspective (may upload here) saying... "what if you don't get married?" " Will you serve God?"

I think a lot of people make marriage an idol and you can tell when people question God, stop liking him or think He's no longer good if they never marry.

I think that's something to talk about because a hard pill to swallow is us surrenderring all of our desires...

Will God still be good in your(speaking to general public) mind and eyes ...if you never marry?
will you serve Him less..?

I definitely think its worth talking about because a lot of people see God as a gift dispenser.

I remember something my cousin told me that just rung true, " If God never does anything for me ever again..He's done enough"

Not saying God will stop blessing people...

But I can say a lot of people make marriage an idol.

I'm ready for this convo

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

How can God fill us up and make us content? That's up to us. I think most of us know the basics or bible verses that go with this. But the bottom line is we can have as much of God as we want.

How does our mindset need to change? Again, I think majority of us know the scriptures that explain this.

The only other thing I'd offer is what I practice in my own life. Years ago I spent quality time with the Lord and He graciously showed me what type of gal I'm supposed to marry. This included a number of characteristics; both physical and personality. Are all Christians going to do this? No, because quite frankly they don't have the patience or devotional life to do so. But all I can say (for me) is that this has tremendously benefited me from having to go thru "potential" people God might have for me. I'm from the mindset, "don't date anyone unless you plan to marry them". To me it's not wise and not a good way to spend my time doing otherwise.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

At the rate marriage is declining and more and more people are deciding not to marry, I think more people will be less angry at God for not being married. I personally have never experienced anger towards God because of never being married. But as far as things I really want that I don't have I feel like the spiritual reward you receive through your relationship with God makes you feel better than any material blessing could. When you are overflowing with the holy spirit, that feeling is utter perfection that no material blessing could top.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

This is much more common than good solid Christian fellowship is.
(The worldly relationships, desires and seeking 'friendship' in the world, even to 'fill up' loneliness even though not with or in a Godly Way.....)

God fills us up in line with His Word, always, and freely, with pure joy, perfect peace, and 'holiness'/ righteousnss, AS WRITTEN in the New Testament.

Ask, and keep asking; seek (Him) and keep seeking..... and most of all

most of all

BE WILLING (to be in and to follow Jesus no matter what the cost) (as written)....

Seek to ABIDE in HIS WORD daily, always, and seek Him to abide in you. (ask Him)

==========================================
QUOTE="Far Side Of the Moon, post: 73053884, member: 385517"]I feel like this isn't something that isn't talked about enough.
I feel a lot of Christian singles burn with a desire be married or have a girlfriend/boyfriend that they'll be with anyone.
After picking my mom up from work today and hearing her tell me the extent of garabage
her coworker put up with just to have a man by her side
It inspired me to talk about this.
------------------------------------------
So I wanted to make open discussion of just how to avoid desperation
How can God fill us up and make us content?
How does our mindset need to change?
or anything else you have to offer..[/QUOTE

 

[OldWiseGuy]

Most believe they have some societal or sacred duty to marry and/or procreate. This is a very strong impulse however false. One can have a great life as a single, if you can control the desire for sex. But if you 'burn' with desire it's better to marry. 1 Corinthians 7:9

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

How can God fill us up and make us content? That's up to us. I think most of us know the basics or bible verses that go with this. But the bottom line is we can have as much of God as we want.

How does our mindset need to change? Again, I think majority of us know the scriptures that explain this.

The only other thing I'd offer is what I practice in my own life. Years ago I spent quality time with the Lord and He graciously showed me what type of gal I'm supposed to marry. This included a number of characteristics; both physical and personality. Are all Christians going to do this? No, because quite frankly they don't have the patience or devotional life to do so. But all I can say (for me) is that this has tremendously benefited me from having to go thru "potential" people God might have for me. I'm from the mindset, "don't date anyone unless you plan to marry them". To me it's not wise and not a good way to spend my time doing otherwise.

I agree. I think its extremely important to spend time with God... because He really does watch out for us when were so needy and desperate to the point it makes us settle for anything and any treatment that he'll block us and protect us from the wrong person.

I don't think a lot of people want to go through the single season.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

I agree. I think its extremely important to spend time with God... because He really does watch out for us when were so needy and desperate to the point it makes us settle for anything and any treatment that he'll block us and protect us from the wrong person.

I don't think a lot of people want to go through the single season.

I thought you were of the mindset of the bible says its not good for man to be alone. I was telling you for the longest time being with someone is more of bonus than a necessity. You can be just as happy single as in a relationship.

 

[CodyFaith]

I think it all comes down to setting standards for yourself. Knowing who you will or won't date and not allowing yourself to break your standards - whether they be moral character ideals, attraction, etc.

There's nothing wrong with really desiring someone. And if you find someone you really like and start dating, it's actually beneficial and attractive to be very into them and have hopes. Where you start running into problems is when your desire someone takes over your good sense, your knowledge that that person is not good dating material for whatever the reasons may be. A person who doesn't have standards isn't very attractive to others because it means they don't respect themselves. And if they are a believer it's also a red-flag for lacking faith and trust in God that he can and likely will provide them with a good, righteous partner whom they are interested in and attracted to.

Just be good to yourself and let God be good to you.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

This is much more common than good solid Christian fellowship is.
(The worldly relationships, desires and seeking 'friendship' in the world, even to 'fill up' loneliness even though not with or in a Godly Way.....)

God fills us up in line with His Word, always, and freely, with pure joy, perfect peace, and 'holiness'/ righteousnss, AS WRITTEN in the New Testament.

Ask, and keep asking; seek (Him) and keep seeking..... and most of all

most of all

BE WILLING (to be in and to follow Jesus no matter what the cost) (as written)....

Seek to ABIDE in HIS WORD daily, always, and seek Him to abide in you. (ask Him)

==========================================
QUOTE="Far Side Of the Moon, post: 73053884, member: 385517"]I feel like this isn't something that isn't talked about enough.
I feel a lot of Christian singles burn with a desire be married or have a girlfriend/boyfriend that they'll be with anyone.
After picking my mom up from work today and hearing her tell me the extent of garabage
her coworker put up with just to have a man by her side
It inspired me to talk about this.
------------------------------------------
So I wanted to make open discussion of just how to avoid desperation
How can God fill us up and make us content?
How does our mindset need to change?
or anything else you have to offer..[/QUOTE

I know... I'm just tired of seeing people run after love and just settle for being mistreated and abused because theyre tired of being lonely.

theyre trrying to fill that hole with a man or woman that's only making that hole bigger

only God can fix and heal.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I thought you were of the mindset of the bible says its not good for man to be alone. I was telling you for the longest time being with someone is more of bonus than a necessity. You can be just as happy single as in a relationship.

Aren't people allowed to grow and change with experiences? Sometimes the Word has to come alive in your life for it to be that much more real.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Aren't people allowed to grow and change with experiences? Sometimes the Word has to come alive in your life for it to be that much more real.

Certainly. I'm just glad you are able to see it now.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Yes, but most people don't.

Aren't people allowed to grow and change with experiences? Sometimes the Word has to come alive in your life for it to be that much more real.

 

[gennypearl]

I know... I'm just tired of seeing people run after love and just settle for being mistreated and abused because theyre tired of being lonely.

theyre trrying to fill that hole with a man or woman that's only making that hole bigger

only God can fix and heal.

that's the thing with free will. they made their choices.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

that's the thing with free will. they made their choices.

Yes but as long as there's still hope and they're not dead...there's still a chance. God always pursues us to stop us from making the wrong choice till our very last breath.

 

[gennypearl]

marrying someone just to fill that loneliness isn't just right for me. if i want to get married, it has to be for the right reasons. we deserve the best IMHO.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

marrying someone just to fill that loneliness isn't just right for me. if i want to get married, it has to be for the right reasons. we deserve the best IMHO.

I agree-- so how do you deal with loneliness and avoid settling in a godly way?

 

[Saucy]

I don't know really. I think other Christians just say stuff like, "Focus more on God," but the desire to be married and not be lonely IS a God-given and driven feeling. There's nothing selfish about wanting this. Adam had God all alone in the Garden, but it wasn't enough for him. He said to God he was lonely and God saw his desire and created a mate for him, saying, "It's not good for man to be alone." He did this even knowing they would later sin together.

 

[gennypearl]

Enjoy the time that has been given to us. I find inspiration in little things like a sunrise or a sunset over still waters, nature in general actually. I like to travel so I do that. I enjoy spending my time with kids, puppies, family. I love to sing my heart out when playing music, enjoy good movies and good books to read. I think that when we are idle that's when all sorts of thoughts creep in.