Hello, My name is Carol and this is my first post and I hope that I am putting it in the right place! I have known the Lord for 42 years and most of that time my relationship with Him has been wonderful. I won't get into all of the wonderful times that I heard His voice in many ways, His awesome blessings on my life and the Miraculous things that He has done for me, great deliverances. My situation now is one of great sorrow. About 5 years or so ago I stopped hearing His Voice. In the beginning I was not to upset because I know that He sometimes withdraws or doesn't make Himself quite known or available and I always believed that was to test our faith. After a year or so I started getting upset because not only was I not hearing His Voice, I did and still do not have any leading or guidance from Him even though I pray and pray for it. I do not see any of the fruit of the Spirit in my life, Love, Peace, Joy. My life seems dead void of God entirerly In the past year or so, I have stopped praying as often since I never get any answers and when I go into my prayer closet to read His Word, it feels like just words on a page when it used to jump off at me and I saw so much in His Word before. I have gone back over my life to examine what could have happened or what I had done to cause this. The only things that I see that I have done, and they are not good were once, I thought I heard Him warn me about remarrying my EX husband and I didn't listen. I only figured this out looking back and I wasn't sure at the time if it was Him or my own thoughts. The next time I heard Him and I am totally sure, is when I was asking His forgiveness for not praying enough and I heard Him say, "Redeem the time, for the days are evil" At that time I was wasting a lot of time on my computer playing stupid games...just killing time. Then, like I said from then till now, nothing. I was smoking after He totally took that bad habit away from me in the early 80's but when I married my 2nd husband, I started again, like slapping Him in the Face. I did finally stop smoking about 3 or 4 months ago and I thought this was the reason He wasn't speaking but I wasn't sure of this either. I have prayed and asked Him to tell me or let me know what it is but He doesn't let me know ..total silence! It feels to me as if I have grieved the Holy Spirit and He has withdrawn from me. I have listened to sermons on this topic and I am so scared that I will not be able to get the Holy Spirit back into my life since I spurned Him and what He was telling me to do. I am at my wits end and so very scared. Is there any advice that anyone can give me. I know that in His Word Jesus says "I will never leave you or forsake you" But there are scriptures that say the Holy Spirit departs Judges 16:20 and David prayed in Psalm 51:11, take not Thy Holy Spirit from me. Please, can someone help me? Thanks, Carol
The first thing to consider is "Blessed are they who have seen and believed, but blessed are they who have not seen and believed." There are many who have never had an experience, a vision, a visitation from an angel, or a dream, but they continue to believe on what is written in the Bible.
A person either has the Holy Spirit or doesn't. A person who has the Holy Spirit is converted to Christ, because Peter and Paul understood it that way. Someone at the turn of the 20th Century decided that there were Christians who did not have the Holy Spirit and who needed a second blessing, but that did not come from the New Testament.
Now, because conversion to Christ and having the Holy Spirit are one and the same, as long as you are believing on Christ, you will have the Holy Spirit. David prayed for the Holy Spirit not to leave him because the Holy Spirit, who came and went, was on him and not in him. There is a big difference.
Jesus said that none will pluck them out of His hand, and He will be faithful to all those who believe on Him and He will bring them to glory. All we have to do is to rest in Him and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit as we gain insights into His written Word.
So, welcome to the world of being just a poor sinner and nothing at all, like all the rest of us, although some don't realise it and think they are still worth something to God when they are actually worthless. This is the great love of Jesus that He gave Himself, threatened to break up the Trinity, because He loved us, not because we are worthy, but that God is love.
It is hard for someone's self-esteem to accept that they are a worthless sinner, not worth saving in themselves, but only good enough to be cast into the fire like trash. But some churches teach the importance of self-esteem and self-worth, but it is false and leads to sinful pride and treading Christ and the cross underfoot.
It is Christ in us the hope of glory. There is no other way. We are worth nothing, and have absolutely nothing we can offer God, and He doesn't need what we have to offer Him anyway. All our righteousness is as filthy rags before Him, and our works end up with us being unprofitable servants at the end of everything.
So, our attitude is: "Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I". In other words, point me to Jesus who has the words of eternal life that I may rest, and put my full trust in Him as my all in all.