Asked to leave church by an Usher

[A_Thinker]

I moved to this area about nine months ago and have been attending a handful of CHURCHES during this time. Been looking at Three or four different churches that I have been attending.

So I had attended an earlier church service at a different church I arrived late. I was standing in the back looking for a seat when in usher asked me if I wanted to be seated and I told him I would find one.

At which point he told me I could not stand back there I would have to leave. This caught me off guard and seemed a little rude to me and as I was leaving the church in the lobby i asked to speak to one of the staff. Which point I had about a 10 minute conversation with someone who said they were head of Security.

Apparently they want to keep the back of the church clear in case there is an emergency and most of the ushers were members of first responders. I thought this was a little bit over kill he also seem to think that the usher was acting appropriately.

It amazes me that churches are now asking people to leave if they do not immediately find a seat. It was dark and I wanted the lights to come on. They turn the lights down for the music portion of their service.

Is it wrong to think that asking people to leave is inappropriate? I’ve always thought ushers are supposed to be welcoming and encouraging people to attend the service not asking people to leave.

The other churches I have attended don’t even use ushers and they certainly don’t stand in the back asking people to leave if they don’t get seated.

So the usher, essentially, said ... either "be seated" or begone ?

Once again, in this day of church attacks, I don't see this as particularly unreasonable. The usher is basically saying that they don't want possible shooters loitering in the back of the church.

And, of course, the church gets to decide when its lights are dimmed or not.

This may not be the church for you ...

 

[Jeff11]

I see what happened. Mass church shootings, you've got cops working security. New guy comes in, he insists on standing behind everyone else. Which plausibly could be a future shooter scoping out the place. How does the church respond to that? Obviously the visitor will be offended by being treated like a suspect. Existing members need to feel safe, otherwise they will not go.

Let me provide a few more details. I was walking to the aisle when an usher asked me if I wanted him to find me a seat. Which I said no I can find one. At which point he said well you can’t stand back here you have to leave. So I said OK I will leave. This happened in a matter of one or two minutes of entering the auditorium.

It Was essentially you walk into the auditorium you allow the usher to find you a seat or you have to leave. And I agree with you that it does appear like police or military are handling church security and that’s why they have this attitude and tone.

Problem is this is not how you want to welcome a visitor to your church.

 

[Jeff11]

So the usher, essentially, said ... either "be seated" or begone ?

Once again, in this day of church attacks, I don't see this as particularly unreasonable. The usher is basically saying that they don't want possible shooters loitering in the back of the church.

And, of course, the church gets to decide when its lights are dimmed or not.

This may not be the church for you ...

during this portion of the service everyone was standing for the music. So me standing would not be that unusual.

Secondly I don’t think allowing someone to seat themselves is an unreasonable request.

 

[Jeff11]

As far as church attacks they Are rare and unusual. I don’t think you should have police in the auditorium in a response to something that is usually an isolated event. It’s such escalation. I mean everyone is a potential shooter and needs to be treated like such? not a good path forward.

Removing the bill of rights to prevent a terrorist attack i Don’t agree with.

 

[A_Thinker]

It Was essentially you walk into the auditorium you allow the usher to find you a seat or you have to leave. And I agree with you that it does appear like police or military are handling church security and that’s why they have this attitude and tone.

To be fair, I once visited a church which INSISTED upon ushering you to particular seating. They cheerily said that they were trying to make sure the audience was down front by the speaker. They filled the seating from front to back.

I didn't like it.

I would never consider going back.

 

[A_Thinker]

during this portion of the service everyone was standing for the music. So me standing would not be that unusual.

If everyone was standing, then they should have had you wait till everyone was seated again.

Secondly I don’t think allowing someone to seat themselves is an unreasonable request.

I don't either ... I would find another church ...

 

[A_Thinker]

As far as church attacks they Are rare and unusual. I don’t think you should have police in the auditorium in a response to something that is usually an isolated event. It’s such escalation. I mean everyone is a potential shooter and needs to be treated like such? not a good path forward.

Maybe something happened previous at the church (or in the area) which put them on high alert. I know that we are taking safety precautions we weren't taking 10 years ago.

Removing the bill of rights to prevent a terrorist attack i Don’t agree with.

The bill of rights has to do with government impositions, not a privately operated church ... which you attend (or not) voluntarily ...

 

[Jeff11]

To be fair, I once visited a church which INSISTED upon ushering you to particular seating. They cheerily said that they were trying to make sure the audience was down front by the speaker. They filled the seating from front to back.

I didn't like it.

I would never consider going back.

I honestly do not think anyone likes that except for the people who are in charge of security and enjoy exercising their power. Which is why it’s such a difficult thing to prevent.

We will probably never get our freedoms that were protected before the patriot act because they love having that power.

 

[A_Thinker]

I honestly do not think anyone likes that except for the people who are in charge of security and enjoy exercising their power. Which is why it’s such a difficult thing to prevent.

Again ... to be fair, the church is made up of various individuals. If you are serving the congregation faithfully, you have to HEAR those who prefer more security. It is a fine line that my church has struggled with. My wife is one who insists that the church doors be locked once service begins. Others might prefer otherwise, but all need to feel safe during the service.

Having served at the same church for multiple years, I have witnessed situations with visitors to the church which could have gone badly, if the visitor(s) were so inclined.

We now have rules, such that the church doors are locked and manned during the service, and visitors are not allowed to approach the Pastor during service. Anyone who appears to be disruptive is not allowed in. Though we have no security personnel in the church building, we have security outside the building, and we do have some members who are armed and stationed throughout the church.

 

[Jeff11]

Do you want to live in a world where everywhere you go there are metal detectors, video cameras, security, it’s illegal to own a 2 inch knife etc? it’s possible I guess to eliminate every possibility of any violence but at what cost?

it’s possible that someone might bring a gun and shoot people but the odds are so overwhelmingly against it that it’s not worth worrying over

 

[Hazelelponi]

My church has no security.. It would bother me if there was and I wouldn't attend.

This is a personal preference. When it comes to myself (my personhood) I am a pacifist. (I feel differently about my nation but personhood is different) I already know what I would do in the event someone tried to kill me, most especially if it was over my faith, and what I would want to do. No thought process involves self defense.

My preference for fellow church goers is those who are likeminded, but I accept and respect those who feel differently, I just don't necessarily want to worship with them and that's just personal preference. Maybe I feel a greater kinship with others of like mind, I don't know.

Although, lol.. Maybe many might not want to worship with me either.. hahaha

But I think this type of thing is just what we prefer our worship services to be. I like mine open and inviting.

Oh well... I do hope and pray the OP stops feeling hurt and can find the right church for him.

 

[Neogaia777]

@Jeff11 I have a feeling that you buck at almost any kind of power or authority...? Do you...?

Oh and BTW, I personally wouldn't go to that church and I don't think you should either...

God Bless!

 

[Bobber]

That’s what I was planning to do. unfortunately this was probably the church I liked the most. It was closest to my home and it was one of the larger churches in my area. Till this happened I thought it was gonna be a good fit for me.

Well if you like the church and it's ministry forget about the incident. I wouldn't consider it some big deal. In fact you might even try becoming friends with the guy return good for when you feel you might have been treated wrong. Cut people some slack and consider that they're just trying to do their jobs. Policies on how things are done change all the time with churches anyway.

 

[eleos1954]

I moved to this area about nine months ago and have been attending a handful of CHURCHES during this time. Been looking at Three or four different churches that I have been attending.

So I had attended an earlier church service at a different church I arrived late. I was standing in the back looking for a seat when in usher asked me if I wanted to be seated and I told him I would find one.

At which point he told me I could not stand back there I would have to leave. This caught me off guard and seemed a little rude to me and as I was leaving the church in the lobby i asked to speak to one of the staff. Which point I had about a 10 minute conversation with someone who said they were head of Security.

Apparently they want to keep the back of the church clear in case there is an emergency and most of the ushers were members of first responders. I thought this was a little bit over kill he also seem to think that the usher was acting appropriately.

It amazes me that churches are now asking people to leave if they do not immediately find a seat. It was dark and I wanted the lights to come on. They turn the lights down for the music portion of their service.

Is it wrong to think that asking people to leave is inappropriate? I’ve always thought ushers are supposed to be welcoming and encouraging people to attend the service not asking people to leave.

The other churches I have attended don’t even use ushers and they certainly don’t stand in the back asking people to leave if they don’t get seated.

"usher asked me if I wanted to be seated ..." ummm ... yes thank you.

 

[Jeff11]

@Jeff11 I have a feeling that you buck at almost any kind of power or authority...? Do you...?

Oh and BTW, I personally wouldn't go to that church and I don't think you should either...

God Bless!

No, but how do you respond to someone who tells you, you have to leave? If I buck at authority I wouldn’t have left when he asked me to.

 

[Jeff11]

"usher asked me if I wanted to be seated ..." ummm ... yes thank you.

Yes master.

 

[Jeff11]

Well if you like the church and it's ministry forget about the incident. I wouldn't consider it some big deal. In fact you might even try becoming friends with the guy return good for when you feel you might have been treated wrong. Cut people some slack and consider that they're just trying to do their jobs. Policies on how things are done change all the time with churches anyway.

I can’t support a church where members are asked to leave for not finding a seat in the auditorium immediately when entering. I will never support a church like that.

 

[Jeff11]

Well if you like the church and it's ministry forget about the incident. I wouldn't consider it some big deal. In fact you might even try becoming friends with the guy return good for when you feel you might have been treated wrong. Cut people some slack and consider that they're just trying to do their jobs. Policies on how things are done change all the time with churches anyway.

Itried to do that when I was leaving. I talking to the head of security. I just could not believe that this is how they wanted their ushers to act or behave. But apparently their security was OK with it.

However he did want me to go back in and confront this Usher about why he was asking me to leave. Presumably for him to apologize to me but I did not see that happening. It was such a uncomfortable experience I just wanted to leave. I expected it to be some kind of debate with him about why I needed to seat myself which I don’t think I should have to explain a medical condition to do something other churches allow without even asking.

 

[Julian of Norwich]

"Forgve us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."

 

[Jeff11]

I believe in forgiveness, important concept. how do you forgive someone who doesn’t ask for forgiveness?

If they would’ve simply apologized and asked me to return and said they would address it with the usher I would’ve happily returned and continued going to the church.

Issue is they think that’s acceptable for the usher. for security reasons they need to keep the back of the church clear. They place more importance on Security then making people feel welcome. I don’t think they will have problems where emergency personnel unable to get through. completely misplaced priorities to me.