Are you INFJ? And does that mean that INFJs get along well with each other?

[FireDragon76]

I'm an INFP, but very neutral on the P bit.

Depending on who you ask, Kirkegaard was an INFP or INFJ.

 

[HenryM]

Hey, I actually wish I could point you to some Bible reading to help you. Maybe you can do that. one that provides re-assurance that everything will work out for both of us.

Here are some:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God."
Matthew 5:3-8

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

I find it's helpful in practical ways. For example, as an introvert I need time away from people in order to function well. Understanding that about myself, and being able to communicate it to other people, helps me to manage work demands without feeling guilty for not being more extroverted, or having others misunderstand and judge me for being "anti-social" etc.

I pictured you more as an extrovert Paidiske. With all that public speaking you have to do, I thought extroversion was an advantage as a minister.

 

[Paidiske]

I have heard some people claim that you need to be an extrovert to be a good minister. I disagree; but you do probably need to put more work into managing your energy levels as an introvert.

I love people and preaching and presiding in the liturgy are enormous privileges, but I find them exhausting. I come home and want to be by myself for a while afterwards.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

Another INFJ here. I'll let my eccentricity speak for itself.

Paul, there's a book that's probably out of print now, but it's an interesting read if you can get hold of a copy: Wake Up the Sun: An Exploration of Personality Types and Spiritual Growth by Margaret Dwyer. She looks at how spirituality can be different for, say, introverts vs. extroverts and so forth, and makes some suggestions both for working from our strengths and strengthening our weaknesses.

thanks Paidiske. I'll look into that

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

I have heard some people claim that you need to be an extrovert to be a good minister. I disagree; but you do probably need to put more work into managing your energy levels as an introvert.

I love people and preaching and presiding in the liturgy are enormous privileges, but I find them exhausting. I come home and want to be by myself for a while afterwards.

Actually I think what would be harder than giving speeches/homilies/sermons is the chat after Mass/service. Shaking hands/smiling with all those people afterwards would just wear me out!

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

This will probably be a long post so I apologize. But its not often I find another INFJ to talk about this stuff with. At least if I can remember right I am a INFJ.

Pretty much everything that describes them online is me. Most people know I am shy, laid back...etc. And they tend to make some assumptions like "What a loser, he sits quietly during a party! or "Why doesn't he ever talk to people?"....etc. But people who get to know me see my layers peeling back as time goes one. At which time they usually are like (BTW not bragging or anything) "Your so quiet that I never knew just how deep you are inside. Your sensitive, your smart, your observant/..." etc. Actually when I was around 8 some elderly woman at the church said the same thing. She said I was like a 60 year old wise man living in a childs body. Of course at the time I didn't realy understand what she meant.

I don't like big social events. I usually sit alone in the back of the party. And I'm fine with that. I don't like attention. I don't like to brag. I have empathy, which I think is much better than sympathy since you actually "feel" what they are. I'll go to a persons funeral (like with my parents) of someone I don't know and before I even get out of the car I get teary. Its like I can feel the sadness in the air. Its hard to explain. If someone tells me about something going on I can feel their pain (even if they are trying to hide it) and I get emotional. Which triggers them and they get emotional. Which usually ends up with a exchange of hugs. I think this is why I have more female friends, they tend to be more emotional then men who are taught not to really show emotion. Which is why growing up kids thought maybe I wasn't straight because I didn't act manly. That and I didn't care about sports or having muscles or whatever manly men do.

I care alot about people. I have a very big heart. My worst enemies can hurt me and if right after they got hit by a car I'd be there helping them and sharing whatever emotion they are going through. Which usually tends to make people who are mad at me change their emotion once they see I'm just a giant teddy bear who isn't looking for trouble/won't fight with them. I can sense things about people. Maybe part of it is also my gift of discernment. Not sure. For example recently at our church I went to a bible study and one guy was reading from a book and his wife asked a question. But something about her I could feel inside. Like she was having a extremely hard time with something. As if she was struggling as a christian due to some kind of pain. Some hurt. I wanted to ask after but sometimes it scares people who don't understand how I know such things.

Well this Sunday (about 2 weeks later) at church the husband (who is an elder) got up to the mic during the closing/prayers and said he and his wife have been struggling for a month or so with something very hard that they didn't want to talk about just yet. His wife said she was struggling the most from whatever this painful thing that happened was. I wasn't shocked by this but I knew what I sensed was right weeks earlier.

While I can be logical sometimes, I prefer going by "my gut" or emotions. More so what they are telling me. Which doesn't often fail me. I'm also what people call a "true netural". On the alignment chart (sort of like what kind of morals you have) its where I lie. Directly in the middle. Which is also supposedly rare. I can see things from both sides of an argument. I'm also a peace maker, I don't want to fight or argue really. I do feel out of place in this world. I feel simple and yet complex. I don't think people truly understand me at times. Likewise I can see the personas people have. As in I can tell when someone is being themself or being another persona. Sort of like how a boy might act one way with his parents versus his grandparents or friends or pastor...etc. When people use a fake pesrona on me I don't like it. Be who you are with me, be honest. I'd rather you be yourself (even if your real self is mean) then lie to me with a "I think your a great person!" persona. I can see if someone has a motive when asking me something. Mind you when I was younger I got used alot because despite seeing their personas, I was so nice and kind that I would let them use me.

Hmm.... as I typed I looked up my last personality test online. The last two I took at two sites say, well one says INTJ and the other says ISFJ.

The INTJ (Defender)
INTJ (Strategist) Personality Type

The ISJF:
ISFJ Personality (“The Defender”) | 16Personalities

I admired your transparency from the start when you confessed about porn addiction. I have a hard time being as honest as you on internet forums. That sort of thing anyway.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

But on the topic of pastors/ministers/priests needing to be extroverted or not. I think some of the best sermons or homilies came from introverts talking about their own life in more depth. Their talks had more substance because they had reflected more deeply beforehand.

 

[FireDragon76]

I pictured you more as an extrovert Paidiske. With all that public speaking you have to do, I thought extroversion was an advantage as a minister.

Most clergy, at least in the US, are actually introverted. Which is surprising because our culture, including our religious culture, rewards extroversion so much.

 

[sparkle123]

Have always tested infp. No one understands me! Haha. Seriously though, my family has always thought me strange. I work in social services, enjoy reading and journaling, eloped and married a poet (who is a similar type, which makes us...interesting). Terribly shy when young, now I'm only shy I suppose I fit the type.
I feel like I've had to work extra hard to enjoy meager success in the world--I find social life exhausting and I'm content to have very little, which has meant a lack of ambition. My parents never understood this about me, and probably pathologized my tendency to not really want much in the way of stuff or achievement. Oh well. I think the infx personality type can make it a bit tough to get along sometimes as it is rare. I believe sensing types are dominant.

 

[Korean-American Christian]

My logic says that this statement shows that the father lacks common sense and wisdom. If he had either he wouldn't be critising you KAC. I have noted that there are many kinds of logic. Both of you, KAC and BetterCallPaul, have your own kind of logic. Neither of you are irrational. The starting points, the assumptions and value systems (in the sense of prioritising different values) in your way of thinking may be different from others, but I would submit that you are still logical in your reasoning. You are not jumping to unreasonable conclusions ... Like the sky is blue, therefore there are 12 inches in a foot.

Monna, thank you for this validation

 

[Monna]

Hey, I actually wish I could point you to some Bible reading to help you. Maybe you can do that. one that provides re-assurance that everything will work out for both of us.

When I as a 15 year old thought I had lost everything, including and especially my future, felt terrified and so very alone, the Lord reminded me of Romans 8:28. "you know that in everything I work for the best with those who love me, who are called according to my purposes." I knew it was him because before he said those words he said "Don't be afraid!" and I got a parade of all those in the scriptures to whom he or a messenger from God had said these words. My terror disapeared, as if rinsed off in the shower.

At the time I thought this promise applied to that specific traumatic experience only. It's 53 years since then, and I have understood that he meant it for my entire life. And it isn't just for me - it is a promise for all those who love him (and are therefore called according to his purposes).

He loves you. I believe what he told Jeremiah applies to all of us "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you;..." He planted in you (and all of us) talents, gifts, whatever you wish to call them. He doesn't do things he doesn't believe in. He believes in you (Read 1 Cor. 13, and his definition of love), and no matter how often you/we fail, when we confess our sin to him he says "I forgive and I heal. You may have to live with irreversible consequences, but my goal for you remains, I am not going to give up on you."

So yes, KAC and Bettercall Paul, if you keep your attention on the Lord Jesus everything will work out for both of you. If there is a catch to this, it is that it is HE, not you, who decides what is best, and he hopes that you will return his trust in you with your trust in him that this is so. If he thought you were worth dying for, you can be sure that he is going to do his utmost for you until you "attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ!" (Ephesians 4:13) There are many other promises in scripture, and you can find them fairly easily with a search in a digital bible.

 

[Korean-American Christian]

So yes, KAC and Bettercall Paul, if you keep your attention on the Lord Jesus everything will work out for both of you. If there is a catch to this, it is that it is HE, not you, who decides what is best, and he hopes that you will return his trust in you with your trust in him that this is so. If he thought you were worth dying for, you can be sure that he is going to do his utmost for you until you "attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ!" (Ephesians 4:13) There are many other promises in scripture, and you can find them fairly easily with a search in a digital bible.

Monna, thank you

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

For me, the I and the J are both pretty strong. The N/S and the F/T can flip back and forth, and vary in strength toward either direction. My husband is even more strongly introverted than I am. We usually get along except for occasional glitches. Interestingly, we spend more of our time together doing things *beside* each other rather than *with* each other, and that usually works out well. For example, one of us could be watching TV and the other could be playing a computer game, but we are both in the living room at the same time. It wouldn't appear to an outsider that we are very much into each other, but actually we are. Sometimes that is a problem for me, and I would rather we do something together. It doesn't appear to ever be a problem for him. As long as we are physically with each other, it seems that's enough.

 

[Vicomte13]

They have limited value I admit but they give us something to talk about on CF, which is of some interest to me.

They have limited value, but they are interesting as points of reference and conversation starters, says an INFP, to an INFJ.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

I admired your transparency from the start when you confessed about porn addiction. I have a hard time being as honest as you on internet forums. That sort of thing anyway.

Thanks! I find as christians if we see someone struggling with an issue and we open up about our issues, it makes them see they are not alone and that no one is perfect. Even offline I've told people about various issues and its really helped them feel like they aren't the only one with struggles. But yeah its not an easy thing to do for most. Its revealing something that you may be judged for.

 

[Dr Bruce Atkinson]

I am INFJ. I'll include some data later ( or somebody else can). Are you eccentric like me? Tend to feel you are perceptive and not enjoy rational, left brain debate?
Starting to sound like a pain already?
We are all complex. I feel complex but I know that doesn't make me any better than simple souls who get on with it and just do it. I envy such people who are unpretentious and pragmatic. The hard workers of the world don't suffer procrastination and moral dilemmas. I can create moral dilemmas out of very simple problems , someone once told me.

INFJ:
I's do not connect well with people in general and prefer to keep to themselves.
Js are insecure and hate change, so they are not very flexible. They tend to be rigid and judgmental in their views and can be obsessive-compulsive in their work style, over-analyzing and second-guessing everything. They love order and are great at plans and agendas, and keeping to them. They need to practice spontaneity and learn to "let go and let God."
Fs are emotionally driven rather than rationally driven, so rational arguments rarely work to lead them forward. FJs can be extremely protective of both self and family members (to a fault).
The saving grace of the INFJ is the high N. This intuitive ability to understand situations and people at an almost psychic level will help them connect with others at a deep level and trust those few who are trustworthy. This trust loosens up their rigid self-protectiveness so that they can cooperate with others and be more flexible and tolerant.

 

[Dr Bruce Atkinson]

INFJ:

 

[HenryM]

I am INFJ.

First time I read the headline for this post, I thought you were talking about positions in rugby or something. I used to read a lot of (or somewhat) cognitive psychology literature, and they don't put people in pre-established boxes. In fact, they work to get people out of boxes people themselves put in. I wonder how much of those pre-established boxes are simplifications mixed with some universal truths (maybe even leaning to horoscope-type quality of insights) that one doesn't even have to acknowledge. I wonder if they are just another layer of chains.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

First time I read the headline for this post, I thought you were talking about positions in rugby or something. I used to read a lot of (or somewhat) cognitive psychology literature, and they don't put people in pre-established boxes. In fact, they work to get people out of boxes people themselves put in. I wonder how much of those pre-established boxes are simplifications mixed with some universal truths (maybe even leaning to horoscope-type quality of insights) that one doesn't even have to acknowledge. I wonder if they are just another layer of chains.

I love boxes. This one anyway. It explains a lot and validates how I see the world.
Hey I know what you mean. There is a part of me that doesn't take this stuff too seriously.