Two different extremes. I'm more in the middle.
Moderation is the secret to happiness.
I hate white knighting.. we should be treating women with the same respect and also harshness as we treat men. Don't baby them, but also be respectful and not stalk them either. Or act like a desperate freak around them. If they're doing that to other men, that's not ok either. Although for most women we men are below average in looks, so it's understandable if they have an easier time not falling into such mindsets. Lol.
Although I'll admit, I'm kind of aloof regarding a lot of that drama here.
Well, some guys think they can get something from a woman if they treat them extra special. But that's insulting to them, I think. Women should be treated well regardless! Because they're beautiful, and smart, and talented, and their posts are always so insightful, and they make the world go 'round...
I'm trying to be ironic. Not sure if it's working.
You're both absolutely right. The problem with white knighting is that you're straight away objectifying a woman and seeing her as a helpless maid who needs 'saving' - and even if you can't see that you're doing it, you ARE. It's borderline fetishism to be perfectly honest, and actually a massive indicator that the man has no faith in his ability to win a woman over without going white knight on them. It's a behaviour that needs to be discouraged as much as possible, because it's not authentic behaviour, and it's actually not fixing the man's low self-esteem.
I don't know how many women will agree with me here, but this is my take. If you see a girl you like (and I must place emphasis on
actually liking them. Do NOT mess people around) then talk to them. But avoid pointless small talk like the plague. Do it a bit to break the ice fair enough, but get into a deeply involved conversation as quickly as possible.
Ask her what she's most passionate about, and when it's her turn to talk, actually LISTEN to the damn girl and make sure it all goes in. Don't just passively agree with everything she says in an attempt to get her to like you more. If your opinion differs from hers, speak out about it and challenge her. Stick to your guns and show faith in your own point of view. Don't grovel to her and suck up, it's pathetic.
If you like her, other guys will too. They'll hit on her, wolf whistle, drop the pick up lines and white knight her all day and all night. If you follow suit you're just another face in the crowd. Lots of men talk, but very few listen or even remember what she said, and even fewer take those things to heart and connect with her - and that there, is what'll do it for you. Now, I am NOT claiming to be a ladies man or a dating guru, I am simply applying logic and sense here. When you cut through the nitty gritty, it really is the most basic basics of human psychology. There's no 'trick'.
And I'm actually with you MehGuy, we should all be putting in the same amount of effort to forge friendships, camaraderie and deeper bonds with family members. I just think it's a different energy with romance - not more or less, just different. No one should be put on a pedestal and be made more important. Only Jesus Himself should qualify for that role (I know you'll disagree with me, but you know what I mean.)
Bottom line is this. Authenticity should be our north star. Don't ever change who or what you are for anybody. Ever.
*Steps off soap box*