anyone have any insight?

[Catherineanne]

Thinking of you, R.

I just started a thread about my own situation. It is not good.

God's will be done.

 

[razzelflabben]

Thinking of you, R.

I just started a thread about my own situation. It is not good.

God's will be done.

do you mind posting a link to your thread?

 

[Catherineanne]

do you mind posting a link to your thread?

I would post a link, but I see that you already found it.

 

[razzelflabben]

I would post a link, but I see that you already found it.

I'm not the best at technology, so when I find what I'm looking for, it's a win...

 

[Catherineanne]

I understand that one!! I think technology left me behind several years ago.

I hope you are bearing up during these difficult days, R.

God be with you.

 

[razzelflabben]

I understand that one!! I think technology left me behind several years ago.

I hope you are bearing up during these difficult days, R.

God be with you.

I'm doing okay, as long as people stop worrying about us...ugh, I get tired of being reminded by everyone wanting to make sure we are okay lol...how are you? How's your mom? The peace that needs restored to your family?

 

[razzelflabben]

I just posted my heart on facebook, might as well post it here as well...

This weekend as everyone prepares to celebrate their dads, whether still alive or now gone from this world, my dear husband, celebrates the death of our son. Three years ago, the day before Father's day, our son was taken from our arms and awoke in the arms of God. I remember that week as if it were yesterday, and yet there are so many details that are just a blur. One thing I remember, was telling someone, that someday, we would know that we were the blessed.

Well, as we prepare to face the week, as the pain in our hearts is refreshed by the celebrations that are upon us, as I read the tributes to your own fathers, I watch my husband continue to grieve. But know this, today, I know with certainty, that we are the blessed, that we are the favored, that in the great wisdom and love of our King, our son, was chosen from all the young men, to receive the favor of our King, as he dines at His table, waiting anxiously for our reunion.

The pain does not go away, I am told it never will, but today, this day, as I watch my husband face the weekend with grace, honesty, truth, and love, I know without doubt, that even that day, three years ago, God looked upon us with favor, not because our son is gone, but because we had 18 almost 19 years with a truly amazing child of God, and Brian, we were the favored to be allowed to call him son, to be asked to cherish him, like no one else on this earth could do. We were the favored to know his struggles, pains, joys and successes, to watch him take his first steps, whether in the flesh or in the spirit. We were the blessed to hold his hand, kiss his boo boo's, correct his behavior. My dearest of husbands, never forget, we are the blessed, the favored, the ones who knew first hand, the richness of God's design, the treasure of his creation, and the grace, that comforts our hearts.

 

[razzelflabben]

man is it hard to stay focused today. Today is the actual anniversary of our sons death. As if that weren't bad enough, we have friends that either want to avoid us (thinking they don't want to make it worse) or want to put all their problems on us as if we have nothing on our minds today. Add to that, that I was asked by our pastor to call the couple who just lost their daughter (long story) and on top of that, my allergies are so bad today, that I literally can barely move. I should probably go to ER, but we can't afford it and I know that so far, I can survive without ER, so that isn't happening...it's just so stinking hard to stay focused, and I have a lot I want to get done today. Wish I could at least move, and/or breath, that would make a huge difference, it would still be hard to focus but at least I could be active enough to not think so much about it.

Well, I really don't need to complain...may today bring joy, comfort and rest as we trust our God even more.

 

[seeingeyes]

man is it hard to stay focused today. Today is the actual anniversary of our sons death. As if that weren't bad enough, we have friends that either want to avoid us (thinking they don't want to make it worse) or want to put all their problems on us as if we have nothing on our minds today. Add to that, that I was asked by our pastor to call the couple who just lost their daughter (long story) and on top of that, my allergies are so bad today, that I literally can barely move. I should probably go to ER, but we can't afford it and I know that so far, I can survive without ER, so that isn't happening...it's just so stinking hard to stay focused, and I have a lot I want to get done today. Wish I could at least move, and/or breath, that would make a huge difference, it would still be hard to focus but at least I could be active enough to not think so much about it.

Well, I really don't need to complain...may today bring joy, comfort and rest as we trust our God even more.

Call one of your friends who wants to avoid you to not make things worse (this is usually well-intentioned) and say, "I'm really down today, and I could use someone to listen to me. Got a few minutes?"

Be bold and reach out for the kindness you need today, sister.

Then you'll be all filled up for the phone call you want to make.

Can you call your doc about the allergies? Perhaps he could hook you up with some free samples of something that will help.

Hang in there, sis.

 

[razzelflabben]

Call one of your friends who wants to avoid you to not make things worse (this is usually well-intentioned) and say, "I'm really down today, and I could use someone to listen to me. Got a few minutes?"

Be bold and reach out for the kindness you need today, sister.

Then you'll be all filled up for the phone call you want to make.

Can you call your doc about the allergies? Perhaps he could hook you up with some free samples of something that will help.

Hang in there, sis.

I think for the rest of the day, I want to avoid the phone all together, the question is, will I, I have a problem doing that, knowing the struggles so many are going through right now...my flaw, not theirs...as to the allergies...the Dr. refuses to treat them, the only relief I could get is if I go to ER...it's a long story, basically, the dr. said, "your a liar"...even though the evidence was recorded on the machine and was sitting right in front of him (IOW's I couldn't have lied about it even if I had wanted to) and so "I won't treat your allergies and asthma until you do X" which was making it worse, which was the source of his accusation, and which even the pharmacist told me not to do because it could kill me. So, my only recourse is ER or suffer through

 

[seeingeyes]

I think for the rest of the day, I want to avoid the phone all together, the question is, will I, I have a problem doing that, knowing the struggles so many are going through right now...my flaw, not theirs...as to the allergies...the Dr. refuses to treat them, the only relief I could get is if I go to ER...it's a long story, basically, the dr. said, "your a liar"...even though the evidence was recorded on the machine and was sitting right in front of him (IOW's I couldn't have lied about it even if I had wanted to) and so "I won't treat your allergies and asthma until you do X" which was making it worse, which was the source of his accusation, and which even the pharmacist told me not to do because it could kill me. So, my only recourse is ER or suffer through

Sounds like you need a new doctor.

 

[razzelflabben]

Sounds like you need a new doctor.

amen to that, two pulmonary Dr. in our area, the guy I just told you about, and the other one has a waiting list that stretches for years and has been on trial several times for mal practice. Not a lot of choices...

 

[Catherineanne]

I just posted my heart on facebook, might as well post it here as well...

This weekend as everyone prepares to celebrate their dads, whether still alive or now gone from this world, my dear husband, celebrates the death of our son. Three years ago, the day before Father's day, our son was taken from our arms and awoke in the arms of God. I remember that week as if it were yesterday, and yet there are so many details that are just a blur. One thing I remember, was telling someone, that someday, we would know that we were the blessed.

Well, as we prepare to face the week, as the pain in our hearts is refreshed by the celebrations that are upon us, as I read the tributes to your own fathers, I watch my husband continue to grieve. But know this, today, I know with certainty, that we are the blessed, that we are the favored, that in the great wisdom and love of our King, our son, was chosen from all the young men, to receive the favor of our King, as he dines at His table, waiting anxiously for our reunion.

The pain does not go away, I am told it never will, but today, this day, as I watch my husband face the weekend with grace, honesty, truth, and love, I know without doubt, that even that day, three years ago, God looked upon us with favor, not because our son is gone, but because we had 18 almost 19 years with a truly amazing child of God, and Brian, we were the favored to be allowed to call him son, to be asked to cherish him, like no one else on this earth could do. We were the favored to know his struggles, pains, joys and successes, to watch him take his first steps, whether in the flesh or in the spirit. We were the blessed to hold his hand, kiss his boo boo's, correct his behavior. My dearest of husbands, never forget, we are the blessed, the favored, the ones who knew first hand, the richness of God's design, the treasure of his creation, and the grace, that comforts our hearts.

Thank you for sharing such beautiful thoughts with us. You were indeed greatly blessed to have such a son.

We also celebrated Father's Day yesterday, by visiting my dad. My daughter no longer has a dad. It is a difficult day for many people. I am not explaining that very well. I do not mean to take away from your grief; only to say that you are not alone; you have friends who care, and who will walk beside you.

 

[razzelflabben]

Thank you for sharing such beautiful thoughts with us. You were indeed greatly blessed to have such a son.

We also celebrated Father's Day yesterday, by visiting my dad. My daughter no longer has a dad. It is a difficult day for many people. I am not explaining that very well. I do not mean to take away from your grief; only to say that you are not alone; you have friends who care, and who will walk beside you.

no worries, I understood...how are you doing today, is your mom doing well?

 

[Catherineanne]

no worries, I understood...how are you doing today, is your mom doing well?

Yes, thank you, she is doing much better than she was.

I went to visit dad, and found that mum had gone to the hairdressers to have her hair done. It was good to know that they are getting back to normal.

 

[razzelflabben]

Yes, thank you, she is doing much better than she was.

I went to visit dad, and found that mum had gone to the hairdressers to have her hair done. It was good to know that they are getting back to normal.

yeah, Praise the Lord. I'll watch the other issue on your thread....praying for that as well.

 

[razzelflabben]

Just needed to say, I'm crashing. I know what it's from and am doing everything I can, but it isn't enough. I'm just so worn out from all the allergy/asthma/heart issues. Should have gone to the ER several days already, but managed to hold off. Had a friend share her inhaler which was a God send and kept me out of the ER a couple of times...I'm just plain worn out and summer is only beginning. Between all the chemicals (the main allergies) and the heat (affects the nerve issues) I can barely walk anymore. No Dr. will do anything and now we have no insurance if we could find a Dr. the more people who find out how bad it is, the harder it is to deal with because everyone asks me how I'm doing and try to go overboard in preventing flare ups. That all brings up memories of the past, (long, sad story) which makes it all worse. I need to keep my mind on others and on study, but that is difficult when everyone is out and about enjoying life and my mind is clouded from lack of oxygen. Man do I hate summer! Will be so glad when fall arrives and then winter...!

Well that is enough complaining for today...despite it all, I know I am blessed, for one thing, we have this house. That gives me more good days than before. Praise the Lord for our miracle house. He has also given me a ministry in the midst of all this, a wonderful journey with our Lord. Our one son is home, he is getting ready to leave but will be home for at least a couple more weeks. Our car was much cheaper to fix then we thought it would be....yeah, go God! So much to be thankful for, why do I have to whine about how I feel...what a wretched (man) I am...help me in my unbelief...

 

[Catherineanne]

Just needed to say, I'm crashing. I know what it's from and am doing everything I can, but it isn't enough. I'm just so worn out from all the allergy/asthma/heart issues. Should have gone to the ER several days already, but managed to hold off. Had a friend share her inhaler which was a God send and kept me out of the ER a couple of times...I'm just plain worn out and summer is only beginning. Between all the chemicals (the main allergies) and the heat (affects the nerve issues) I can barely walk anymore. No Dr. will do anything and now we have no insurance if we could find a Dr. the more people who find out how bad it is, the harder it is to deal with because everyone asks me how I'm doing and try to go overboard in preventing flare ups. That all brings up memories of the past, (long, sad story) which makes it all worse. I need to keep my mind on others and on study, but that is difficult when everyone is out and about enjoying life and my mind is clouded from lack of oxygen. Man do I hate summer! Will be so glad when fall arrives and then winter...!

That all sounds so difficult. I hope things ease for you before too long; you don't deserve to have so much to cope with.

Well that is enough complaining for today...despite it all, I know I am blessed, for one thing, we have this house. That gives me more good days than before. Praise the Lord for our miracle house. He has also given me a ministry in the midst of all this, a wonderful journey with our Lord. Our one son is home, he is getting ready to leave but will be home for at least a couple more weeks. Our car was much cheaper to fix then we thought it would be....yeah, go God! So much to be thankful for, why do I have to whine about how I feel...what a wretched (man) I am...help me in my unbelief...

It is good to give thanks to God, and particularly good when things are not easy for us.

I just had my car serviced today as well; it was not exactly cheap, but at least it is done, and I can now drive with a little more confidence than before; I get very anxious as well.

I am sorry you are struggling, R. I will remember you in my prayers.

 

[razzelflabben]

That all sounds so difficult. I hope things ease for you before too long; you don't deserve to have so much to cope with.



It is good to give thanks to God, and particularly good when things are not easy for us.

I just had my car serviced today as well; it was not exactly cheap, but at least it is done, and I can now drive with a little more confidence than before; I get very anxious as well.

I am sorry you are struggling, R. I will remember you in my prayers.

Sun. we were stranded at the Church all day with our car, a friend helped out, but still had to come home and get the tow dolly. The part was suppose to be 90 dollars, and had to order it. So my husband took our sons car to work, got pulled over for not having tail lights which we didn't know about. Tail lights were a fuse, easy fix...found our part in stock for 20 dollars, God is definitely good. sometimes I just get so tired...I mean, when it is work just to breath or move, some of the other battles seem insurmountable even when we see God working in them...at least that is my experience.

How are things going with you? Your mom? and the other situation?

 

[razzelflabben]

this thread has kind of become my whatever I need to say thread, doesn't matter if anyone reads it or not, I just need to say it. So here goes...

Last night, some friends brought over an air conditioner to help me breath and sleep in this heat. Not a used one, a brand new one, with remote and everything. I'm kind of freaking out here. No one but my husband loves me that much, that is just the order of things. In fact, when I told my mother, she said, "you have some good friends, I wouldn't have given you one, I would have shared my air for you to come over, but I wouldn't have given you an air conditioner...I called to see if you were still breathing okay." Seriously, my parents don't even care enough to do anything, and here are friends who are buying an air conditioner for us...in fact, not long ago, another friend gave our kids money for the mission trip they were going on, for food and fun money, just out of the blue. Got hand me down clothes for our third and he felt like it was Christmas and Birthday all at the same time, and that was more than he ever gets for both together. I don't know how to do this!!!!! It isnt' right, not how the universe works when it comes to me. When we are at these friends house, they make sure there is food for me that I am not allergic to, seriously, neither side of the family does that. I eat what we bring, go hungry, or eat and have my throat and tongue swell at every family get together on both sides because no one cares enough to leave out onions and/or parsley. when they go on vacation, they bring us goodies...I really am freaking out here...how do I do this!? How do I even say thank you for a good nights sleep and 2 seconds more air (the difference between ER and not or between life and death (literally)) It's huge, but not even the Dr. cares enough to do anything. I'm used to no one caring, not use to someone who cares enough to go out of their way, spend their money, and do something. They even said they didn't call because they knew I would object, so they just came with it....help me! This isn't right...I'm alone in the world, at least my husband and I are alone...I don't know how to not be alone...don't know what to make of it...need to return to being alone, at least that I know what to do with....