I'm 24 years old and have been exhausted for years. I should be in my prime, making progress towards a sustainable future and living my best years; instead I struggle to get through what most would consider an easy day. I should be fearless and adventurous, instead I feel like a vulnerable kid lost in a mall. I hate that my chronic fatigue has ruined so much of my life. Can anyone else relate? How do you find the motivation and faith to carve a future for yourself when you can barely work to pay a few bills?
Oh brother, that's exactly how I was. To some extent still am, but never mind that. Vulnerable, lost, and so tired. Getting out of bed was hard, putting on socks was even harder, taking a shower was like a mountain I had to climb. There was no energy, and almost no motivation either. In the end I had to stop comparing myself to others, and I had to start living one day at a time. Whenever I occupied my mind with "I should've been doing X by now, I should've succeeded in Y", my plans and goals were not motivators, they were like walls I kept pulling down on myself. Fear was always present. Of course I "medicated" myself with alcohol and abused some of the meds I got to make things worse, but even when I managed to stop those things, the depression remained. I wanted to perform, but I kept hating myself because I couldn't. I wanted to be something, but I couldn't be anything.
I ended up having to quit my job and I was lucky enough to be put on pension. So I can't really give advise with career.
But having faith, for me, was the hardest thing to do. Even when I got to the point where I could have the strength to study the Bible and actually tap into faith and into my inner struggles within its light, I found out my own understanding, wisdom, patience, strength of faith even, were nothing. I kept running into walls. Little by little Christ got through, even when I was unknowingly putting up walls against His love, because I was convinced I could not be loved, I hated myself so much. Little by little He kept laying His foundations where my ruins used to be. Something good started to creep in, and I started to accept my situation. I started to accept that it's okay to be weak, many people are. I started to accept that God absolutely knows what I'm going through, better than I do, and that I could slowly but surely learn to give my burdens to Him. I have my cross for the day, I don't have to carry the cross of tomorrow or some day in year 2025, wherever I might have placed my goals. Today is enough. When this happens, comfort and thankfulness over the smallest things will follow. It stopped being about my strength (and I was "fortunate" to be in a place where I knew I had none), and it started being about His. There will be trust. You will have inner trust in Him. There will be a foundation, and you will build on it, or more like He will.
Before, "having faith" was about me trying to understand and to perform. It was about me trying to be acceptable, to be worthy of even something. I found no comfort in it, my understanding was as weak as my performance, and I didn't see anything but condemnation in the now and in the future. Now, having faith is like a childlike trust, forged by God Himself, a trust in His goodness, power, strength and care. Christ is acceptable when I am not, on my behalf, and He is accepting of me because of His position and good will. Tomorrow is a day I don't know about, and today is a gift. All worries - which there are still many - I can give to Him, instead of consuming myself with them.
When I was 24, I was just about to "go crazy". When I was 25, I was pretty much insane. But I had things, I had some sort of status. Now I'm 40, and I have none of those things I had back then, but I have faith that God surely planted into me throughout the years. I've gotten comfort and joy from the smallest things. I am now glad for the smallest achievements. Lately I've been glad and encouraged about being able to take out the trash more often, making my own food better (and healthier), taking showers nearly every day and managing to do little workouts here at home. This is nothing for most people, but for me it's like I get to learn to live again, it's exciting, and every good thing supports another. I have more energy, even if I still have problems with sleeping. I don't know if I'll ever be "something", but I have so much more peace now, and I see that God is good and He does have plenty of strength for us.
Although I like to ramble about faith, I'm aware that's not quite what you asked and I am not suggesting that you don't have something physiological going on. Forgive me if I sounded like I just started rambling. One brother above gave some good advice on nutrition (and even I've found that it does make a difference), and he seems to be knowledgeable about the physicality of these issues, and many people here know the realities of it. You can support each other which is a great thing. Do what you can, give your struggles to God, you will be taken care of. No matter how things seem. You're not any worse than anybody else, and in the end the Lord is more than able and willing to make you stand. Praying for you, and hoping you would get all the help, hope and strength you need.