Any virgins?

[Touma]

Spinoff question for you all -

Given that:

A) Christ said adultery can be committed simply by connecting lustful thoughts with non-sexual physical action

B) A person can be a "murderer" in his heart without physically committing the sin simply by hating another...

How does masturbation rank in the "I'm still a virgin" category? I mean, if one entertains a fantasy while manipulating oneself - can you still consider yourself a true virgin?

Interesting thought actually. I will have to think on this more before I answer your question.




As for the OP, I am not a virgin. I gave it away to my ex, because I was very certain she was the one I was going to marry. I regret sinning against her and against God. At the same time, I don't regret the closeness it gave us...even if in the end it did bring me more hurt when things ended. So yeah, while I am not a virgin I am now celibate since September until when ever(if) I get married.

 

[stan1472]

I know it might sound like an awkward question, but are there any virgins here on the forums?

I had to ask, because it seems wherever I go people accept premarital sex as normal and justifiable, but I know the bible says otherwise. Why do we (and should we) place so much emphasis in the importance of being virgin before marriage?

I am, and I'm waiting for her. If that moment never happens, I'm content knowing that I held it.

 

[Obzocky]

Regarding masturbation and such:

Technically you'd still be a virgin as you have not had sexual, penetrative intercourse with another, living being.

Depending on your view of masturbation it would be in the same area as premarital sex, something to be avoided until marriage and then only used in the pursuit of marital happiness, all of that fun stuff. It may be the view of some that whilst those who touch are still technically virgins that is only the physical state, not spiritually/emotionally/however you want to describe it as they have lusted and given into temptation through self pleasure. Then it becomes less to do with virginity and more to do with purity.

I know far too many good little Christians who do everything but penetrative sex in order to still call themselves virgins. I think they may be missing the point a bit. Just a teeny, tiny bit.

 

[Spirit_Star]

Another one of this threads. Yes I am a virgin I’ll be 28 in a couple of months. I plan on waiting for my future husband. It use to be because that’s what the bible says but now its become partly that, partly that I have come to feel that sex is an emotional and spiritual thing and I just don’t want to do it with any guy. I figure I’ve waited this long why stop now just to get it over with. Would I wait until we were married? Very possible but if we had sex before (marriage) we better be committed and that means we are engaged, a date set for our wedding and we have started planning it.

 

[Sketcher]

Spinoff question for you all -

Given that:

A) Christ said adultery can be committed simply by connecting lustful thoughts with non-sexual physical action

B) A person can be a "murderer" in his heart without physically committing the sin simply by hating another...

How does masturbation rank in the "I'm still a virgin" category? I mean, if one entertains a fantasy while manipulating oneself - can you still consider yourself a true virgin?

Thoughts may count against you, but they don't make you "one flesh" with somebody else.

 

[Rhye]

I agree with this^. I think virginity has great value coupled with purity. I think most people don't know how to respond to it- they either don't care at all or they make an idol and or "holification" of the mere state of being a virgin or they try to justify whatever they want to do. I think it's a very private issue between you and the Lord and if you are one - the physical state of being a virgin doesn't give you a free pass to do other things that are not pure. I don't agree with silly little bracelets or rings based off emotion where something private becomes a public "look at me" declaration. I think that the mark is definitely off when virginity is taught as something you do to "get" something from God and not something you do regardless of those around you b/c it honors the Lord, and when you love the Lord you honor Him with everything- your words, deeds, actions, and body and mind-no matter if you get married or not. It (like many other things) is a product of a heart condition. That's a lifestyle that involves more than virginity not some cutesy thing you do and say to be popular in your youth group or declare at your wedding so everyone knows how Christian you are.

I absolutely love this post, especially the highlighted part.
I believe its between me, the Lord, and the man that I am with.

I've given as much thought I can on this on the forums (as best as I can). I have to say when you are with the right person, and they are open, honest, caring, and loving, you both make the effort to keep and do what is right.

 

[SweetDee]

Vicky, stephanie, amber, mina, and little tigress made some outstanding posts that hit the nail on the head.

Agreed, I love those girls.

 

[tapi]

double post

 

[tapi]

I think key word here is purity as others have stated. Virginity is admirable, but I think it is wrong to consider for example, people who have for example made mistakes in their life and turned to Christ, inferior. It is easy to fall into self-gratifigation and lust, and as we all know they cause us to stumble in our walk in faith and distort our relationship with God.

I pretty much get an allergic reaction whenever someone gets preachy about one single (potentially) sinful thing and ignores the "why?" part of it... Like as if not having sex would make you any better of a person for example. :o

I second this notion..
It is sadly a common mistake for pastors, elders and priests to give absolute pronouncements on what is sinful/unsinful and spread threats and fear when discussing matters concerning sexuality. In the end, without giving a reasoning behind their thoughs, this sort of preaching provides absolutely no basis and foundation in the understanding of these matters.

IMHO it is more important for spiritual leaders to rather discuss the actual reasons for using control and self-discipline in matters of sexuality, so that people can understand that there is a greater reason, for our own good - not becouse of some kind of fetish against pre-marital relations by God for example - in His instuctions for us, so that our life would be more rich and full, and safer, so that we avoid suffering many things that we would suffer otherwise

 

[KTskater]

I am not a virgin, however, that happened before I was a Christian and I do intend to uphold my purity from now on.

I think it all comes down to allowing ourselves to be transformed so we look more like Christ and keeping our thoughts focused on heavenly things.

 

[Oddish]

I believe that it is a good thing to wait until you meet the right person, but I won't say that is has to be within a marriage.

I don't like the idea of just sleeping around with anyone, but I think you know when the meet the right one.

Yeah, I agree with this I think but maybe I will change my mind.

I couldn't be one of those girls who sleep with anyone. I have had the opportunity but honestly I don't feel attracted to guys I do not know and I would have to have a strong emotional/spiritual connection first...

 

[K9_Trainer]

I know it might sound like an awkward question, but are there any virgins here on the forums?

In case anyone was wondering, I'm a virgin myself.

I had to ask, because it seems wherever I go people accept premarital sex as normal and justifiable, but I know the bible says otherwise. Why do we (and should we) place so much emphasis in the importance of being virgin before marriage?

Why?

Because a lot of Christians still adhere to the old idea that virginity = purity because sex is "dirty".

Clearly, as others have demonstrated, virginity does not correlate with purity at all, and its sin that is "dirty", not sex.

 

[EyesOfKohl]

Fornication is a sin.

But we all fall from the grace of Elaha (God), whether it be fornication, murder, stealing... even dishonoring our father or mother etc. Who is to say one is worse than other except Elaha?

Unfortunately, society today teaches that fornication is alright and harmless. But, to say this is saying that other sin like murder and stealing is alright aswell, isn't it?

Some people have fallen down with fornication (Most of them as you can see are remaining celebate), but you can't tell me that you've never fallen down with another sin. I'm personally waiting until I get married. I believe it's something special that we should wait for after marriage. It is a gift to be shared in the eyes of Elaha when married.

I believe it has its own role in 'purity', but where some people are 'pure', others may not be and vice versa. We should hold the teachings close to our heart and obey them to obtain purity. I do want to say it's a very admirable and gracious thing to be able to wait until marriage especially in these times.

 

[leothelioness]

I'm still a virgin and I do plan on saving it not necessarily for marriage, but definitely for someone I'm serious with and trust.

 

[Paulie079]

Why?

Because a lot of Christians still adhere to the old idea that virginity = purity because sex is "dirty".

Clearly, as others have demonstrated, virginity does not correlate with purity at all, and its sin that is "dirty", not sex.

Yep! I should find this blog post I read recently that gives some good thoughts about this, but the gist is that sex before marriage is sin but sex after marriage is flippin' awesome!

 

[white dove]

I think the emphasis to be a virgin is not where the standard is. I believe that purity in mind, heart and action is what the Bible commands.

Purity is sadly downplayed in not only our society but churches as well.

I had to stop on this one (even though I read the others).


Personally, I don't know what I would be satisfied with within the Church. I really don't. I'll admit, I'm taken aback by the comments I hear from Christians who talk this and that about casually getting laid or having sex/making love with their significant other. I'm like, "yeah, going to church on Sunday after a night with the boyfriend and wait what?? Wait, what did you say?" I don't want to be like that though because hello? I still sin, too (and hello? I have a son. It's not like I can't relate). Gossip veiled as "venting it out," things like that. I never noticed this kind of talk when I was a virgin though. Thankfully, I guess. I've always figured my sex life was mine and mine alone.. except, of course, until I brought it to the forum's attention. :/ I'd kind of like to slink back into my own cocoon or something sometimes. Anyway... I think we should all know the reasons why we do what we do. If we don't, we're.. I wanna say "screwed," but I won't. Oops. But, it's important. Being a virgin isn't enough. Being pure just isn't enough. What is is having the right heart behind it. It is my understanding that God doesn't care about good deeds if the reasons behind them are not for Him. Like dirty rags. Really? I guess that means our mentality, our heart has to shift before we can even start talking about purity and what it really means.

Now, getting back to those of us who's sins are more public... I certainly don't think we should toss stones at those who've sinned in such a way, as we've all sinned and we still sin today. At the same time, I don't really want to tolerate it, you know? I think when we "fall," it doesn't necessarily hinder our testimony. Perhaps in some way, it makes us even more on even-keel with those we witness to. On that same token, I do wonder if by that it hurts us more. Speaking to Non-Christians makes me think it hurts more than helps, when we "preach" at least.

Maybe that doesn't make a bit of sense, but hopefully someone gets what I'm trying to say.

 

[SullivanZ]

I think virginity is nice and it's important for a mate, but it's not a requirement by any means. If you truly love the person, you can forgive them if they have made mistakes, knowing that you, yourself, are not perfect. Remember, love covers a multitude of sins.

 

[Thunder Peel]

The future is more important than the past. We've all sinned and fallen short and I'm much more interested in now and the future than what someone did in their past.

 

[stan1472]

Virginity is important, even God thinks/thought it was important. God chose Mary, the virgin, to bear Jesus. Some will say she was very young, that's why she was a virgin. No matter what, God chose a virgin to bring Jesus (THE Messiah) into the world.

 

[MacFall]

I'm a virgin, but I don't place virginity on a pedestal like a lot of Christians do. I believe that promiscuity is destructive, at least spiritually and emotionally, even when it is not physically. I believe that marital exclusivity is the only way to enjoy sex in a healthy and truly fulfilling way. But I'm tired of seeing sexual sin treated differently than other sins by Christians. Everyone sins. Nobody is "pure", even if they are completely celibate for their whole lives. Putting sex in a special moral category away from any other behavior which has the potential for sin accomplishes nothing but to set people up for greater falls.