Angry Men

[bèlla]

disenfranchisement

1. the state of being deprived of a right or privilege

Am I missing something here? How does the word disenfranchisement relate to all anger issues?

Anger happens because they are deprived of a right or privilege?

The OP is addressing “angry men” who feel disenfranchised not all anger issues.

 

[bèlla]

I am not sure that I subscribe to the "caveman DNA" argument, but if my anger is piqued by a perceived injustice, I

1. Urgently seek to engineer a solution to it.
2. Failing that, seek cover and maximize damage control.

(My earlier police story is a good example of that.)

I use a combination of prayer, strategy, and confrontation. Sometimes I reverse engineer the latter if the problem desires my presence or focus.

 

[Sabertooth]

I ask specific questions and introduce discussions to gauge a man’s affinity with certain ideologies. If he leans in the wrong direction I’ll step back.

Carrying that a step further, I was (inwardly) hypercritical of my wife when we were courting. I didn't expect her to be perfect --none of us are-- but I watched for her particular shortcomings. Had it been unfaithfulness or misandry, I would have bolted. The only thing that jumped out at me, was her being a bit selfish with treats. Annoying, but not a deal-breaker.*

People who (seem to) display no shortcomings at all are often wearing masks. It is common in Borderline Personality Disorder.

*A friend is someone who knows everything about you --and still likes you!

 

[durangodawood]

...I think an ''angry man'' and ''a man given to anger'' are different. An angry man implies he is in a constant state of wrath,due to his angry character. Given to anger,is what happens to all of us. Even Jesus became angry during his ministry.

"Given to" typically means its your habitual response.

 

[bèlla]

Carrying that a step further, I was (inwardly) hypercritical of my wife when we were courting. I didn't expect her to be perfect --none of us are-- but I watched for her particular shortcomings. Had it been unfaithfulness or misandry, I would have bolted.

I don’t blame you. One of the reasons I’ll consider a prospect from a forum (and never used dating sites) was the ability to see their mind at work. Not only in our discourse. But how they related to others.

Anger and combativeness usually seep out. As do negative stereotypes and an inability to embrace differences of opinion peacefully.

When I contemplate spending my life with someone, there are certain traits which contribute to happy endings and others that make life a living hell.

I’m clear about the failings I can live with and the ones I would never accept.

 

[Daniel C]

Am I reading this correctly?

I don't know, are you?

 

[St. Helens]

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[St. Helens]

MOD HAT ON
The posts about anger is a sin or not have been moved to this thread---> Is Anger a Sin
This thread is now open for posting again.
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[ChicanaRose]

I think anger is often intertwined with other deadly sins of greed, pride, and envy.
Sometimes people are angry because they couldn't get what they coveted, or because they are jealous, or because someone hurt their ego.

In these cases, we may need to address these sins along with anger, in order to get someone to a more healthy place.

 

[ChicanaRose]

The OP is addressing “angry men” who feel disenfranchised not all anger issues.

And this is fitting. I've seen anger in people when I refused to answer to their greed, pride, or envy. They became angry being deprived/ denied of their wishes.

 

[bèlla]

I think anger is often intertwined with other deadly sins of greed, pride, and envy.

When you consider the reasons many cite for the disenfranchisement men are experiencing, we can see the root often points to sin. Not only within the one expressing anger but the situations that contributed to his condition.

Sometimes people are angry because they couldn't get what they coveted, or because they are jealous, or because someone hurt their ego.

Expectations can incite anger. Especially when you believe you deserve a specific outcome. When it fails to materialize anger ensues.

In these cases, we may need to address these sins along with anger, in order to get someone to a more healthy place.

I hadn’t considered the pairings until your comment. Sometimes anger is hidden. Almost covert. We see the obvious motive but may miss its trigger.

Good observation. ;-)

 

[bèlla]

And this is fitting. I've seen anger in people when I refused to answer to their greed, pride, or envy. They became angry being deprived/ denied of their wishes.

That needn’t be anyone’s permanent condition. Prayer can soften an angry heart and affect the person’s countenance positively. I’ve seen it firsthand in those I’ve prayed for over a period of time.

 

[Sabertooth]

Some people conflate the desire (and sense of obligation) to be a successful breadwinner with greed. But the curse in Genesis says that that drive will constantly be hampered (in this life).

I think that understanding that limitation and knowing Who to turn to can alleviate some of that frustration. Along with walking out Matthew 6:32-33.

 

[ChicanaRose]

Expectations can incite anger. Especially when you believe you deserve a specific outcome. When it fails to materialize anger ensues.

And if you do not give this person attention voluntarily, he or she may not just end with one-time snapping.

He or she may try to get negative attention from you, doing things that would remind you of his or her presence every time.

That needn’t be anyone’s permanent condition. Prayer can soften an angry heart and affect the person’s countenance positively. I’ve seen it firsthand in those I’ve prayed for over a period of time.

That's a relief. It would be unbearable otherwise, given the length of time some retaliations (like the above) last.

 

[bèlla]

Some people conflate the desire (and sense of obligation) to be a successful breadwinner with greed. But the curse in Genesis says that that drive will constantly be hampered (in this life).

I agree. Hard work is good. We’re supposed to be diligent. But building our lives around work and neglecting our responsibilities is wrong.

I think that understanding that limitation and knowing Who to turn to can alleviate some of that frustration. Along with walking out Matthew 6:32-33.

He makes all the difference and teaches moderation and how to manage our time wisely if we listen.

 

[bèlla]

And if you do not give this person attention voluntarily, he or she may not just end with one-time snapping.

True. Much like the man I encountered last year. His rage was directed at me but the reasons weren’t related to me at all. Most of his anger was due to a sense of rejection and defeat.

He or she may try to get negative attention from you, doing things that would remind you of his or her presence every time.

That’s what he did. Its strange to see someone raging about you in a public forum while spilling their guts about themselves in turn. He had a lot of hostility towards women and felt disenfranchised too. He identified with the male movements and gave the impression women were the enemy and needed to be kept in their place.

But underneath the wrath was his desire for love and acceptance. He needed professional help and the right companion that would restore his trust and aid his wounded ego.

We all have some measure of brokenness inside. The key is seeking the Lord and making an alignment whose presence and empathy helps us to overcome the hurts through God’s leading.

Some men will let you soothe them (like David did with Saul) and others won’t. Or you’re not the right remedy.

 

[OldWiseGuy]

I know a bunch of men, and I cannot think of one of them who's feeling disenfranchised as a man. So I'm wondering, what are these things men used to be allowed to do that they cant do now?

Perhaps they don't like the role that has been scripted for them.

 

[OldWiseGuy]

I don't know how, exactly, but coming up I understood that being a man was something I was to strive towards, not something that just happened or to which I was entitled. I was a sensitive kid and eventually learned that in spite of how I felt I was expected to do things. For instance, I might be afraid, but I was to do it anyway. Coming up, I had models I would look at and say, "That's a man. That's what it means to be a man."

I do wonder how much male disenfranchisement comes from loss of identity, an identity worth striving towards. Sometimes anger is rooted in fear, fear of loss. And then there's resentment towards the percieved cause of said loss.

A man is a male, nothing more (unless there's a hormone problem).

 

[OldWiseGuy]

What are the root causes of male disenfranchisement? How do we help them manage their anger in a healthy way? How have you tackled this within yourself or with others?

Please share your thoughts.

Being the selfish person that I am I'm never angry, as I see to it that I get what I want. Anger is "thwarted self-will". Everyone should make sure they achieve their personal desires. We only go around once, best to make the most of it for ourselves. If your job, friends, or girl friend/boy friend threatens to sabotage your plans and desires say bye bye.

 

[Skeeb_0]

What are the root causes of male disenfranchisement? How do we help them manage their anger in a healthy way? How have you tackled this within yourself or with others?

Please share your thoughts.

I’ll put it to you this way. I live with my wife and we have a friend we live with as well. Both are huge on women’s rights and will get extremely angry if you insinuate a man can do something a female can’t. However, if something needs to be carried, a bug needs to be killed, or yard work needs to be done, my name is called on every time. Men are societally expected to do more physical labor and handle certain things, and we can’t get angry about it. My wife however is allowed to get angry over anything because her “emotions” are up and down because she’s a woman.