Alone

[NW82]

I am praying for you. I can identify with your situation on many levels. One thing I can assure you of is that God loves you dearly. The Bible does not guarantee us an easy ride here on Earth. In fact, we are guaranteed that in this world there will be trouble, but take heart I have overcome the world. Sometimes the way is hard and lonely, but lean into Jesus and He will never steer you the wrong direction.

I had lived alone from the time I was a teenager and was divorced at a young age. More nights than I can count I cried myself to sleep, but Jesus was still there. He is still there even when I am going through the worst of times. I know He will be there for you. He will make a way when it seems there is no way. Take all of your concerns to Him. The Bible states that He works all things out for good for those who love Him. We may not understand what is going on, but His ways are so much higher than ours. Rest assured that you are loved, and ask Him to carry you when you cannot take another step. His love is so much greater and more complete than anything we can imagine on Earth. Hold strong my dear friend. Cling to the cross, cling to the one who knows you better than you know yourself.

In Christ you will make it through. In Christ you can be victorious. If you ever need prayers or someone to talk to you can send me a message. I feel as brothers and sisters in Christ we need to support each other. Cry out to God...God I am hurting, I am broken, make me whole and show me the way. God is near the brokenhearted.

So I've tried everything you've suggested. I've prayed day after day. I've asked for strength, wisdom, patience, discernment and still nothing. I would almost try to understand if it wasn't immediate if this was a few weeks or a couple months, but we are talking years now. It doesn't matter what I do, or say, I've said the Lord's prayer more time than I remember just to ensure I'm prayer for His will and not mine. If God loves me then why am I supposed to live like this? All I want is companionship, I don't get why that's an issue. God is always there and I talk to Him, but God generally doesn't respond. I am alone 90% of my day, all week, sometimes 100%. All I want to know is why...and the only one capable of answering that has left His phone off the hook.

 

[Dylan_Reavis123]

I tried posting this in another forum and got nothing but non relevant replies pushing falsified hope. So maybe I can get real help here.

I'm looking for advice about how to accept being alone for the rest of my life. Is there a way to let go and ignore the pain? My ex-wife cheated on me and asked for a divorce between Christmas and New Year in 2009...that's 6 and a half years. I got told it was just a season, but 6+ years isn't a season. I'm 35, I have a good job, but the friends I do have do not live nearby (a couple hundred miles at the closest) and my nearest family is a 600 miles away. I basically work, and do nothing else. I've tried going to churches but even the best one I had been a part of ended up being fake people and more concerned with title than Christ. I honestly want to just give up and stop everything. I often wonder if God hates me, but then I have to go back to His word that says he doesn't; but if that's true then why do I have to suffer through loneliness for so long...what did I do?

Trials and Tribulations it sound like.. be of good cheer, Jesus conquered all.
I wouldn't think about it much,
First thing you need to do is forgive your ex-wife because it's gonna cause a branch of bitterness.
Now trust me ", God knows what she did was wrong, so do you, but you need to forgive.
The Father is all you need brother, you don't need nothing else.

 

[NW82]

Trials and Tribulations it sound like.. be of good cheer, Jesus conquered all.
I wouldn't think about it much,
First thing you need to do is forgive your ex-wife because it's gonna cause a branch of bitterness.
Now trust me ", God knows what she did was wrong, so do you, but you need to forgive.
The Father is all you need brother, you don't need nothing else.

Why exactly does everyone think I haven't? That's not the problem!

 

[gloriousday2006]

So I've tried everything you've suggested. I've prayed day after day. I've asked for strength, wisdom, patience, discernment and still nothing. I would almost try to understand if it wasn't immediate if this was a few weeks or a couple months, but we are talking years now. It doesn't matter what I do, or say, I've said the Lord's prayer more time than I remember just to ensure I'm prayer for His will and not mine. If God loves me then why am I supposed to live like this? All I want is companionship, I don't get why that's an issue. God is always there and I talk to Him, but God generally doesn't respond. I am alone 90% of my day, all week, sometimes 100%. All I want to know is why...and the only one capable of answering that has left His phone off the hook.

I just want you to know that I am praying for you. You will get through this time, but the most important thing is to cling onto God no matter how desperate you may feel. I promise that His love is greater than anything on Earth. There will be troubles in this world, but He has OVERCOME the world.

I understand just how desperate it can feel to be alone, but remember you are NEVER truly alone when you have Jesus. It may feel like you are, but cling onto the Lord. Share your heart with Him. He works all things out for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. No matter what you may be facing I believe there is purpose in it, and eventually...as hard as it is now He can use it for your good. My belief is that all of the things we go through can be used to help others.

There are so many things we don't understand on this Earth. I know I am just dust, but I know that my God is all. Jesus is all, and I love Him more than anything. His ways are so much higher than ours, even in the desperate times. Don't give up hope, your breakthrough may be right around the corner. Even if it isn't cling to Jesus He will see you through. He will never let more come upon you than you can bare. We serve such an amazing God. Please put all your trust in Him.

Please feel free to post on here or message if you are lonely. Seek the Lord with your whole heart. I am praying for you.

 

[NW82]

I just want you to know that I am praying for you. You will get through this time, but the most important thing is to cling onto God no matter how desperate you may feel. I promise that His love is greater than anything on Earth. There will be troubles in this world, but He has OVERCOME the world.

I understand just how desperate it can feel to be alone, but remember you are NEVER truly alone when you have Jesus. It may feel like you are, but cling onto the Lord. Share your heart with Him. He works all things out for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. No matter what you may be facing I believe there is purpose in it, and eventually...as hard as it is now He can use it for your good. My belief is that all of the things we go through can be used to help others.

There are so many things we don't understand on this Earth. I know I am just dust, but I know that my God is all. Jesus is all, and I love Him more than anything. His ways are so much higher than ours, even in the desperate times. Don't give up hope, your breakthrough may be right around the corner. Even if it isn't cling to Jesus He will see you through. He will never let more come upon you than you can bare. We serve such an amazing God. Please put all your trust in Him.

Please feel free to post on here or message if you are lonely. Seek the Lord with your whole heart. I am praying for you.

None of that takes away the fact that I am alone 90% of the time. Either I did something so bad that I'm required to live like this or God hates me, and according to the bible He doesn't, so I must have done something and I don't know what it is. I don't have any hope.

 

[gloriousday2006]

None of that takes away the fact that I am alone 90% of the time. Either I did something so bad that I'm required to live like this or God hates me, and according to the bible He doesn't, so I must have done something and I don't know what it is. I don't have any hope.

We need to place all of our hope in the Lord. With God there is hope. Jesus died for us.

1 John 1:9New International Version (NIV)
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.

I am so thankful for God's mercy. I fail every day, and rely heavily on Him. There is so much I don't understand, and believe I never will on this side of the heaven. One thing I do know is that the Lord is good. He is faithful and worthy of ALL praise. No matter how bleak things may seem in the natural I know that He is on His throne. He is in control. I want to get to a place a of complete and total submission to Him. Cry out Lord I don't understand, but I trust you. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Read through the Psalms. King David went through many despairing situations, but put all of his hope in our great Lord. Trust Him, He will not let you fall. The Bible states cast your cares upon the Lord. We may not get the answers we desire, but trust He will bring you through.

I know that there isn't one person on this Earth who can help me like the Lord. He formed me, He knows me better than I know myself. Though I walk through the shadows, I will not fear.

Try not to look at your situation, but rather the greatness of our God. I am going to keep you in my prayers. I know the absolute pain of loneliness. At one point in felt like I was so lonely, I wanted to jump out of my own skin. Even through that pain God was there. God is with you now. He is near the brokenhearted.

 

[Breve]

Why are your friends so far away? Did you move or did they move. Are they good friends ? Can you arrange to visit them ? Being with ppl who care for you is a great mood boost and confidence raiser. If they know you well they'll have a good perspective on your situation. Too much introspection and brooding isn't helpful.

It sounds like you've forgotten how to have fun with friends and enjoy the everyday pleasures of being with people. Also look into personality types. Some swear by Meyers Briggs or the red yellow blue green. I like Dani Johnson's system called Gems. But any that gives you insight into how others and yourself tick is helpful.

Have you thought about taking a trip to somewhere you haven't been before? Try new things and open yourself up to life.

 

[NW82]

No one really seems to get it. I give up. No one truly cares and God doesn't seem to care about my pain so it doesn't matter.

 

[gloriousday2006]

No one really seems to get it. I give up. No one truly cares and God doesn't seem to care about my pain so it doesn't matter.

I want to assure you that God cares for you. Jesus died for you. Push through this, cling to Jesus. I know you are in pain, but trust in the Lord. I have been in those dark places, but you can make it. He will never allow more to come upon you than you can bare. In Christ alone my hope is found, He is my light, my, my strength, my song.

 

[NW82]

So many months later and it's not any better. In fact more happened to drive home the point that I'm not good enough. I begged Jesus on my knees, and I got silence. The only reason I come to ask people is because He refuses to answer. Either that or the answer is shut up and go away. I pray, I've read 7 books since December, read my bible, prayed and still nothing. I'm blessed beyond measure with a great career that is getting better, I'm learning more and more, and I simply do not care about any of that. 8 years since my divorce and I'm always alone. I don't know what I've done to be forsaken. Sometimes it's like God just forgot about me when everyone else got happiness. I realize that happiness isn't the point of this life but everywhere I look all the people I work with, or know are all enjoying their life with other people. What do I have? Nothing. I even had dinner with a Senior VP while overseeing a project and traveling for work....and all I can think about is that when I fly home for the weekend, I'll be alone. I just want to know why. For anyone wanting to gripe at me for necroing my own thread, get over it. I need a place to express how I'm feeling because I simply have no one to talk to. And if one more person says talk to God, I have and He isn't listening.

 

[NW82]

Good to know I matter as much here as I do everywhere else...

 

[anna ~ grace]

Good to know I matter as much here as I do everywhere else...

We've got people on here with family dying of cancer, suicidal folks, people having crisis of faith, and mourning the loss of their children.

Everybody suffers. Everybody. All of us.

There is an extent to which none of us are alone. We have CF. We have each other. If we are able to fellowship with other Christians at least once a week, we get some people time in then, too.

All of us can identify with loneliness on some level. But we can be lonely as a family and carry one another.

Instead of focusing on your own misery, man, focus on other people. How? Pray for them. You'll feel less miserable, less alone, less focused on your own sorrow, and more receptive to grace.

 

[redblue22]

Good to know I matter as much here as I do everywhere else...

Sorry to hear you feel so alone. (hug)

.

 

[NW82]

We've got people on here with family dying of cancer, suicidal folks, people having crisis of faith, and mourning the loss of their children.

Everybody suffers. Everybody. All of us.

There is an extent to which none of us are alone. We have CF. We have each other. If we are able to fellowship with other Christians at least once a week, we get some people time in then, too.

All of us can identify with loneliness on some level. But we can be lonely as a family and carry one another.

Instead of focusing on your own misery, man, focus on other people. How? Pray for them. You'll feel less miserable, less alone, less focused on your own sorrow, and more receptive to grace.

So take comfort in the fact that others are hurting too? How exactly is that supposed to make me feel better? I get told that I help people, that I've counseled people through hard times and that is a great trait to not be taken for granted. I was literally told that today, by someone who I helped through a tough situation and they are in a better place in their life now. I so help others, but then I also get told that I should change things in order to not be alone. So in one place I am good at helping other and they are truly grateful, but on the other i'm supposed to change who I am to get what I want out of life. Why can't someone accept me for who I am...and if one more person says God does i'm going lose it. I have begged God, on my knees, on my face, for Him to tell me bluntly, wholey what I am supposed to do, to either make this feeling go away or to be able to get what I'd like out of life. I don't have to have anything, if He wants me alone forever then that's the best thing, but how do I make this feeling go away? I've been traveling for work for 3 weeks, i'm tired, I want to go home, but then i remember that I have nothing to go home to, so what's the point? I know God loves me, I just don't think He likes me very much. I don't know what to do anymore. I've prayed, sought Christian counsel, prayed more, begged and pleaded, and for 9 long years....NOTHING.

 

[NW82]

I am sick of platitudes from people who don't care or don't want to listen, i'm sick of being told in Gods time, or what He wants not you. FINE! Then make this feeling go away. I'm tired, i'm tired of feeling, tired of hoping, tired of helping others but failing myself, tired of hurting, tired of feeling...anything.

 

[mama2one]

I don't have any hope.

don't give up hope!
husband and I prayed for a child for a long time and the adoption process was long and instead of the 9 mos we were told, it was over 4 yrs
at one point we felt it was never going to happen, remember just lying on couch crying and husband sitting on floor next to me and he was ready to throw in towel and I almost agreed but then I said let's wait a little longer as just wasn't ready to give up and 2 mos later the agency called....to think we almost gave up!
I now feel that we were learning patience during that time and that God was preparing us to be the parents we are today
don't give up......sometimes we need to wander in the wilderness as we become prepared for the next steps in life
hang on to HOPE

 

[NW82]

don't give up hope!
husband and I prayed for a child for a long time and the adoption process was long and instead of the 9 mos we were told, it was over 4 yrs
at one point we felt it was never going to happen, remember just lying on couch crying and husband sitting on floor next to me and he was ready to throw in towel and I almost agreed but then I said let's wait a little longer as just wasn't ready to give up and 2 mos later the agency called....to think we almost gave up!
I now feel that we were learning patience during that time and that God was preparing us to be the parents we are today
don't give up......sometimes we need to wander in the wilderness as we become prepared for the next steps in life
hang on to HOPE

For what? For death? What exactly should I hope for? 9 years of hoping...of praying...for nothing. Like I said, He hasn't shown me one single thing that all this is for. All things work for the good of those who love God and are called to His purposes. Well this doesn't feel good. All of this must be for a reason, suffering in pain must be for a reason. I don't want to feel anything anymore. I don't want to hurt anymore.

 

[anna ~ grace]

For what? For death? What exactly should I hope for? 9 years of hoping...of praying...for nothing. Like I said, He hasn't shown me one single thing that all this is for. All things work for the good of those who love God and are called to His purposes. Well this doesn't feel good. All of this must be for a reason, suffering in pain must be for a reason. I don't want to feel anything anymore. I don't want to hurt anymore.

What in your life do you have to be thankful for? Even materially? Do you have a home or an apartment? A job? Fairly decent health? Your eye sight? Literacy? Friends?

If you have any of those things, focus on them, and thank God for what you *do* have.

This is not to negate or minimalize your pain, but to get you to focus on something besides how much you're hurting, and struggling. Emotions can be awful. Don't let them overpower you. Focus again and again on what is *right* with your life, and ask God to work with you based on what He's given you.

 

[NW82]

What in your life do you have to be thankful for? Even materially? Do you have a home or an apartment? A job? Fairly decent health? Your eye sight? Literacy? Friends?

If you have any of those things, focus on them, and thank God for what you *do* have.

This is not to negate or minimalize your pain, but to get you to focus on something besides how much you're hurting, and struggling. Emotions can be awful. Don't let them overpower you. Focus again and again on what is *right* with your life, and ask God to work with you based on what He's given you.

I'm not ignorant of the fact that i'm blessed where others are not. I'm simply don't want to die alone...

 

[anna ~ grace]

I'm not ignorant of the fact that i'm blessed where others are not. I'm simply don't want to die alone...

Well.... there's something in my life right now that I want very, very much, and I'm not getting it. This is a ten year long struggle. Part of me wants this so badly. The other part of me is trying to "live in the present", follow Christ as best I can minus what I want, love my neighbors, not hate people, and do good where I'm at. And be patient.

Patience literally means a capacity to endure suffering. I didn't know that. I learned it from this video;

I've also been praying for ten years with no visible results. Some days I feel homeless, and forgotten, and awful. And useless, lonely, and jealous. I want God to help me *now*. But He doesn't. So, I gotta wait. And do the best I can in the mean time.

And see where God is helping me, even if He's not making happen what I want.