Alone

[NW82]

I tried posting this in another forum and got nothing but non relevant replies pushing falsified hope. So maybe I can get real help here.

I'm looking for advice about how to accept being alone for the rest of my life. Is there a way to let go and ignore the pain? My ex-wife cheated on me and asked for a divorce between Christmas and New Year in 2009...that's 6 and a half years. I got told it was just a season, but 6+ years isn't a season. I'm 35, I have a good job, but the friends I do have do not live nearby (a couple hundred miles at the closest) and my nearest family is a 600 miles away. I basically work, and do nothing else. I've tried going to churches but even the best one I had been a part of ended up being fake people and more concerned with title than Christ. I honestly want to just give up and stop everything. I often wonder if God hates me, but then I have to go back to His word that says he doesn't; but if that's true then why do I have to suffer through loneliness for so long...what did I do?

 

[Bluerose31]

I tried posting this in another forum and got nothing but non relevant replies pushing falsified hope. So maybe I can get real help here.

I'm looking for advice about how to accept being alone for the rest of my life. Is there a way to let go and ignore the pain? My ex-wife cheated on me and asked for a divorce between Christmas and New Year in 2009...that's 6 and a half years. I got told it was just a season, but 6+ years isn't a season. I'm 35, I have a good job, but the friends I do have do not live nearby (a couple hundred miles at the closest) and my nearest family is a 600 miles away. I basically work, and do nothing else. I've tried going to churches but even the best one I had been a part of ended up being fake people and more concerned with title than Christ. I honestly want to just give up and stop everything. I often wonder if God hates me, but then I have to go back to His word that says he doesn't; but if that's true then why do I have to suffer through loneliness for so long...what did I do?

Hello, I am very sorry to hear you are going through so much pain. I have chosen to stay single for the rest of my life after trauma. I feel that God will protect me when I feel sad about being single. I will pray for you to find a love. You have a desire for a relationship and that means God may bring you someone. Meeting people at church is good. I feel you should try and find a church where the people are humble. God loves you very much. Stay close to God, he will bring you Godly friends and comfort.

 

[-Luca]

But God does not hate you, he really does love you. More than anything.

Whenever I feel lonely I talk to God and he hears. No matter what time of day it is he is always there ready to listen.

I am so sorry for what happened between you and your ex-wife, it is truly sad.

 

[Hall]

There is someone for everyone, not everyone is out there to hurt you, you must give it another chance. And when you do find that special someone, your past pain will dissapear quickly. You just need a good Godly woman. There are some Christian single websites out there to match couples.
You don't have to suffer through loneliness, it's your choice to have courage and begin to look at life in a positive way. God wants to bless you but you also need to make the move.

 

[PropheticTimes]

Loneliness, and feeling like the rest of your days will be filled with more of the same, is a difficult and tiring thing. I am so sorry to hear of your heartaches. You are in my prayers.

 

[NW82]

Whenever I feel lonely I talk to God and he hears. No matter what time of day it is he is always there ready to listen.

He doesn't respond though. I can tell Him I feel like this but nothing will change.

There is someone for everyone, not everyone is out there to hurt you, you must give it another chance.

The thing is that statement isn't scriptural.

 

[Solomons Porch]

I understand what your feeling. Have you considered maybe God has called you to a certain ministry and that she (the ex) was not to be a part of His plan, that He has a bigger plan for you that you cannot see because of the pain you are feeling?

 

[Hall]

He doesn't respond though. I can tell Him I feel like this but nothing will change.


The thing is that statement isn't scriptural.

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18

 

[Solomons Porch]

but nothing will change.

Without FAITH it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God
Change how you see things and HE will overcome this for you.
You've already spoke against the very thing your asking for.
Change your words, use your faith, quit seeing it through mans eyes and use the eyes of faith.

 

[NW82]

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18

That's really only applicable in the general isn't it, not as a whole applied to an individual?

 

[NW82]

Without FAITH it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God
Change how you see things and HE will overcome this for you.
You've already spoke against the very thing your asking for.
Change your words, use your faith, quit seeing it through mans eyes and use the eyes of faith.

I don't understand. I can't say x will happen when it isn't promised by God. How can we have faith in something He hasn't promised us?

 

[anna ~ grace]

Sometimes God calls us bear a Cross we would rather not bear. Good on you understanding that a Christian marriage is forever; most move on to another person.

For some, that Cross is staying in a very difficult or less than ideal marriage for the sake of Christ. For others, it's a life of celibacy (as for a Catholic priest or religious), for others it's chastity after a divorce. How to be less lonely?

If you have free time, dedicate it to spending time in prayer and worship and Scripture study. So often we naturally turn to TV or pointless web browsing or movies to fill our time, but in many cases, that can make things worse. Buy a painting of Christ. An icon. Place it in your home. Love Him, and let loving Him be your passionate hobby.

He knows how alone feels more than any of us can, and He is the meaning of our lives.

 

[Solomons Porch]

I don't understand. I can't say x will happen when it isn't promised by God. How can we have faith in something He hasn't promised us?

what has He NOT promised us?

 

[NW82]

what has He NOT promised us?

No where in the Bible is everyone promised companionship.

 

[Hall]

I'm not sure if I'm understanding correctly, do you believe you are not allowed to marry again because you were divorced and that's the reason why you have to be alone the rest of your life?

 

[Solomons Porch]

No where in the Bible is everyone promised companionship.

I will give you the desires of your heart. Ask, seek, knock. You have not because you ask not. Have you made HIM your companion? I mean literally? God is a jealous God and He will have nothing before Him. As I asked you earlier, do you think MAYBE He is calling you to a certain ministry and is trying to cause you to totally depend upon Him and Him alone?

And if you think and feel that its not gonna happen, well then just quit asking, start asking for something else. Find out what He wants for your life instead of what you want and then maybe everything around you may change in ways you cannot imagine. His ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts. He see's what is good for you and what is bad for you, what if He is truly protecting you from even more pain? Consider that He see's way ahead and long long down the road and many times we cant see what He has protected us from until its there in front of us, and we think to ourself man Im glad I didnt do or I didnt get so and so, BUT, if He wouldve been a cruel and uncaring God, He couldve just gave you what you wanted and then watched you suffer even more, and even then you would be blaming Him for giving you exactly what you asked for, its 2 sided. Blessings my friend, will be praying for you.

 

[NW82]

I give up. Doesn't much matter then

 

[Hall]

I give up. Doesn't much matter then

You should read this, I hate to see people suffer when they don't have to.
I am divorced. Can I remarry according to the Bible?

 

[rebornfree]

I've just prayed for you NW82, and this verse comes to mind: Psalm 30 v 5b:
"..weeping may remain for a night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning."
You may like to ask God if He is speaking that directly into your life, and be assured my friend that there is always hope with God, if we seek His kingdom first.

 

[gloriousday2006]

I tried posting this in another forum and got nothing but non relevant replies pushing falsified hope. So maybe I can get real help here.

I'm looking for advice about how to accept being alone for the rest of my life. Is there a way to let go and ignore the pain? My ex-wife cheated on me and asked for a divorce between Christmas and New Year in 2009...that's 6 and a half years. I got told it was just a season, but 6+ years isn't a season. I'm 35, I have a good job, but the friends I do have do not live nearby (a couple hundred miles at the closest) and my nearest family is a 600 miles away. I basically work, and do nothing else. I've tried going to churches but even the best one I had been a part of ended up being fake people and more concerned with title than Christ. I honestly want to just give up and stop everything. I often wonder if God hates me, but then I have to go back to His word that says he doesn't; but if that's true then why do I have to suffer through loneliness for so long...what did I do?

I am praying for you. I can identify with your situation on many levels. One thing I can assure you of is that God loves you dearly. The Bible does not guarantee us an easy ride here on Earth. In fact, we are guaranteed that in this world there will be trouble, but take heart I have overcome the world. Sometimes the way is hard and lonely, but lean into Jesus and He will never steer you the wrong direction.

I had lived alone from the time I was a teenager and was divorced at a young age. More nights than I can count I cried myself to sleep, but Jesus was still there. He is still there even when I am going through the worst of times. I know He will be there for you. He will make a way when it seems there is no way. Take all of your concerns to Him. The Bible states that He works all things out for good for those who love Him. We may not understand what is going on, but His ways are so much higher than ours. Rest assured that you are loved, and ask Him to carry you when you cannot take another step. His love is so much greater and more complete than anything we can imagine on Earth. Hold strong my dear friend. Cling to the cross, cling to the one who knows you better than you know yourself.

In Christ you will make it through. In Christ you can be victorious. If you ever need prayers or someone to talk to you can send me a message. I feel as brothers and sisters in Christ we need to support each other. Cry out to God...God I am hurting, I am broken, make me whole and show me the way. God is near the brokenhearted.