Alone

[NW82]

So basically deal with it and shut up...

 

[anna ~ grace]

So basically deal with it and shut up...

You have completely misunderstood everything that I just typed out.

 

[NW82]

You have completely misunderstood everything that I just typed out.

No, l didn't. It's essentially shut up and suffer through it. My problem is i'm tired of suffering. I do not want to hurt anymore. I'm required to be alone, fine, He knows better than me... but He could at least take away this longing. I don't know how long Job suffered, but i'm not him and 10 years is getting to be a breaking point. And if i'm not required to be alone then just bluntly tell me what it is i'm doing wrong, what i'm supposed to learn from all of this, because clearly i'm not getting it. I got told this yesterday, "I have missed our conversations/friendship too. You greatly helped me during that time. Thank you for understanding during that mess". I don't want to change who I am and how I can help others. I helped a woman get out of a physically and emotionally abusive relationship, helped her find the courage inside herself to do what she needs to (all acting under God's guidance, I'm not taking credit for it), to where she is in a safe and healthy place, but me... nope i'm just a tool to be used for the betterment of others and my happiness be damned.

 

[mama2one]

Is there a way to let go and ignore the pain? My ex-wife cheated on me and asked for a divorce but the friends I do have do not live nearby (a couple hundred miles at the closest) and my nearest family is a 600 miles away.

sorry, should have started with your OP

it isn't fair at all! you didn't ask for your wife to cheat on you and divorce you
is there any possibility of you looking for a job near family or friends?

 

[NW82]

sorry, should have started with your OP

it isn't fair at all! you didn't ask for your wife to cheat on you and divorce you
is there any possibility of you looking for a job near family or friends?

No, but it wouldn't matter. My family isn't close and any friends I have, have their own lives going on.

 

[mama2one]

No, but it wouldn't matter. My family isn't close and any friends I have, have their own lives going on.

do you mean you don't feel close to your family OR because they are 600 miles away, it's too far to uproot and move?

 

[NW82]

do you mean you don't feel close to your family OR because they are 600 miles away, it's too far to uproot and move?

It's a moot point. Being near family wouldn't stop how I feel. Besides, it's no longer 600 miles, it's more like 3000 now. Even when I was 5 miles away from family it didn't matter. Everyone has their own lives, their own families, and i'm just alone.

 

[mama2one]

It's a moot point. Being near family wouldn't stop how I feel. Everyone has their own lives, their own families, and i'm just alone.

how do you know it wouldn't stop how you feel if you moved and was close to family?
you could be part of family celebrations....birthdays, holidays etc
before my husband met me, he was living several states away from his family and then he had a job opportunity closer to his parents and he took it

 

[NW82]

how do you know it wouldn't stop how you feel if you moved and was close to family?
you could be part of family celebrations....birthdays, holidays etc
before my husband met me, he was living several states away from his family and then he had a job opportunity closer to his parents and he took it

Because even when I lived 5 miles from family it didn't matter. That and now that my brother has a kid i'm pretty much the failure of the family. Everything is about my nephew and my brother, he's the favorite, the one everyone goes to visit. No one has even made an effort to so much as call me.

 

[mama2one]

Everything is about my nephew and my brother, he's the favorite, the one everyone goes to visit. No one has even made an effort to so much as call me.

okay, it can feel that way when there's a nephew, grandchild in the family as the focus is always on the kids
and I felt left out also as other family members had kids and no one knew we were waiting to adopt and granted it was hard
but we started to babysit and help out even tho we didn't have kids yet and it starts getting fun just being with the crowd
it would probably change for you too to join your nuclear family, get to know your nephew, and be around family members
you don't have to measure up to them, just be a part of it all

 

[NW82]

okay, it can feel that way when there's a nephew, grandchild in the family as the focus is always on the kids
and I felt left out also as other family members had kids and no one knew we were waiting to adopt and granted it was hard
but we started to babysit and help out even tho we didn't have kids yet and it starts getting fun just being with the crowd
it would probably change for you too to join your nuclear family, get to know your nephew, and be around family members
you don't have to measure up to them, just be a part of it all

Well it's not an option, so still a moot point. That and I don't want to just be around my family, which factually favors my brother, I want my own. But like I said before, I can be used to help others, but when it comes to me...nope.

 

[NW82]

So it still goes on. I do everything I can to do the right thing. On a business I protected a woman from a creep. Why? Because it's the right thing to do. What I don't understand is why do I continue to be a man like this? What's the point? I mean no one is ever interested, ever. But I continue to be a man who will do what is right and put himself in harm's way to protect someone, to help others, why are these horrible qualities that no one wants?

 

[SakraNomoko]

Why do you keep asking God for help? Get up and make some friends! They're fake? Yeah, everyone's a fake, horrible person until you get to know them.

Then they're just horrible people.

To think you're going to find anyone truly worthy of being a close companion is absurd. This includes you, no matter how deserving or qualified you think you are. No one except God is that worthy, and if you haven't noticed, He's not going to provide much in the way of conversation.

There are some things so basic to living that God does not do them for us. You yourself have to drink the water in your cup, eat the food on your plate, and make your own relationships.

Now stop whining that the Supreme Being of the universe isn't going to spoon feed you a gourmet meal and eat that leftover, burnt, over seasoned, dry-as-a-bone meatloaf with your own two God-given hands.

 

[NW82]

Why do you keep asking God for help? Get up and make some friends! They're fake? Yeah, everyone's a fake, horrible person until you get to know them.

Then they're just horrible people.

To think you're going to find anyone truly worthy of being a close companion is absurd. This includes you, no matter how deserving or qualified you think you are. No one except God is that worthy, and if you haven't noticed, He's not going to provide much in the way of conversation.

There are some things so basic to living that God does not do them for us. You yourself have to drink the water in your cup, eat the food on your plate, and make your own relationships.

Now stop whining that the Supreme Being of the universe isn't going to spoon feed you a gourmet meal and eat that leftover, burnt, over seasoned, dry-as-a-bone meatloaf with your own two God-given hands.

Wow great attitude for someone on a Christian forum. Did it ever occur to you that I've made efforts only to have nothing come of it? Did it occur to you that constant rejection over 9 years takes its toll on a person? Now why oh why would I ask God for help after everything I've done has failed? Maybe because He knows best how to do it and I clearly don't? What is with all the hatred coming from so called Christians?