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Clean, well between 17-20 and i got high the other night on oxycontin...felt great!
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almost 20 yrs
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Harlan Norris
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Well you know what you are into. Short term pleasure. Long term pain. Get out while the gettin outs good. The longer this goes on the harder it will be.I will pray for you.blessedmomof5 said:
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well to be honest, getting high is masking the other problems and it is easier like this, not an everyday thing but enough lately.....i will stop.......just need to mask the other problems for now
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Harlan Norris
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Make shure that mask doesn't become a body suit you can't take off.For most this happens before the wearer knows it. If the idea of going on without an opium based helper is repulsive,it's a good time to stop and see where you are at.blessedmomof5 said:
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Hmmmm
did i say i was going to kill myself? nope i said i was getting high....
don't see where you saw that.....
did i say i was going to kill myself? nope i said i was getting high....don't see where you saw that.....
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chilehed
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I've heard it called "suicide on the installment plan". I have no doubt that you have no conscious plan to kill yourself, but that's exactly what you're doing. Hopefully you won't get on the fast track of an overdose or a car wreck.blessedmomof5 said:Hmmmm
don't see where you saw that.....
In the meantime, your drug use is severing whatever was healthy in your relationships with yourself, your friends and family, and God. The mask you've picked up is smothering you. You're killing yourself.
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chilehed,
Actually i have been doing good lately, with that urge, but i will add something.... did u know you get more with kindness, is that the way jesus would have spoken? hmmmm, think not.....so before you go ahead and try and "help" someone stop think and said to yourself.........would jesus have said this or is this this the way jesus would have responded with such harshness.....?
not meant to be rude here but but i believe wen someone is crying out for help weather or not you see it, it is our responsibilities as christians to be loving and kind to help that person through whatever it is they are going through.....but thats my humble ipinion.......have a nice day
Actually i have been doing good lately, with that urge, but i will add something.... did u know you get more with kindness, is that the way jesus would have spoken? hmmmm, think not.....so before you go ahead and try and "help" someone stop think and said to yourself.........would jesus have said this or is this this the way jesus would have responded with such harshness.....?
not meant to be rude here but but i believe wen someone is crying out for help weather or not you see it, it is our responsibilities as christians to be loving and kind to help that person through whatever it is they are going through.....but thats my humble ipinion.......have a nice day
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chilehed
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blessedmomof5,
I apologise if I came across as unkind. It's just that I've buried a lot of friends who relasped just as you have; some of them died the first day out. Please take it as I meant it: an urgent call to change course before it's too late. If you were going to NA or AA meetings, please call your sponsor and go to a meeting. If you weren't, please start.
I apologise if I came across as unkind. It's just that I've buried a lot of friends who relasped just as you have; some of them died the first day out. Please take it as I meant it: an urgent call to change course before it's too late. If you were going to NA or AA meetings, please call your sponsor and go to a meeting. If you weren't, please start.
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apology accepted.
theres so many issues now that are in my life that i see a therapist 2 x a week, and a pshychrist, and my reg dr 2x a mth, so i think i am well covered, as far as na, never did those, i did IP, way back and op treatment, never was a na person.....but one thin i do not do is hide what i do from people, which i belive is a plus for me......
theres so many issues now that are in my life that i see a therapist 2 x a week, and a pshychrist, and my reg dr 2x a mth, so i think i am well covered, as far as na, never did those, i did IP, way back and op treatment, never was a na person.....but one thin i do not do is hide what i do from people, which i belive is a plus for me......
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BMof5
I totaly agree with this comment of yours...
It reminds me of this old quote that I am really trying to put in pravtice in my life...
Compassion will cure more sins than condemnation.
Thx
Stayed Blessed
I totaly agree with this comment of yours...
blessedmomof5 said:
It reminds me of this old quote that I am really trying to put in pravtice in my life...
Compassion will cure more sins than condemnation.
Thx
Stayed Blessed
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Jesus-is-the-1
Got no doubt, boss
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I'm sorry to hear you are relapsing. If your therapist, etc. isn't helping you maybe you could go into a rehab? Please get help if not for yourself, then for you 5 children. I will be praying for you, sweetie!
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going down that road again?
last night i took a pill, morphine to be exact. odd how after all this time i could have used 2 or 3. and wanted more today....why is this hapening to me.....why is everything happening to me? I know satan is out to get me....ok i know i am probably sounding crazy, but thats how i feel. and i am letting him.....why can't i just get back to the old me? the pick up the bible everyday and read it me? the one that would pray , preach, be kind me? is it just something i have to get out of my system? get real good and high and be done with it, or do i have to fix it all before i get better, and is there enough time left? ok i am sounding crazy right?
last night i took a pill, morphine to be exact. odd how after all this time i could have used 2 or 3. and wanted more today....why is this hapening to me.....why is everything happening to me? I know satan is out to get me....ok i know i am probably sounding crazy, but thats how i feel. and i am letting him.....why can't i just get back to the old me? the pick up the bible everyday and read it me? the one that would pray , preach, be kind me? is it just something i have to get out of my system? get real good and high and be done with it, or do i have to fix it all before i get better, and is there enough time left? ok i am sounding crazy right?
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chilehed
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blessedmomof5 said:
Oh, please blessedmomof5, PLEASE go to an NA meeting and reach out to the women. I know you've never been much for NA, but I KNOW it works and I sure hate for you to melt down. You don't have to do this, you don't have to struggle with these demons, you can find a new set of tools to deal with it all and a great support system of people who understand and who will be with you in the trenches. And it all fits in well with our Christian beliefs.
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chilehed,
thankd for you true concren, but you see, i look at it right now as recreational...yeah i know, no drug addug cab do that....also i see a rherapist 2xs a week a a pdoc everyother week, opps and my dr ever other week, i have ana so i am sort of therapied out.i think thats where alot of this is coming from right know and some prob,ems at home, so it is my way to escape all of them. i do appreicate your concern, and alot of the time to get out whatever it is i spend at the gym, also because of the ana also, but i tell ya it clears my head..which helps.....thnks you so much for your kindness and your heartfelt concern,
Denise
thankd for you true concren, but you see, i look at it right now as recreational...yeah i know, no drug addug cab do that....also i see a rherapist 2xs a week a a pdoc everyother week, opps and my dr ever other week, i have ana so i am sort of therapied out.i think thats where alot of this is coming from right know and some prob,ems at home, so it is my way to escape all of them. i do appreicate your concern, and alot of the time to get out whatever it is i spend at the gym, also because of the ana also, but i tell ya it clears my head..which helps.....thnks you so much for your kindness and your heartfelt concern,
Denise
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holyorders
Miserable Pile of Secrets
blessedmomof5 said:
Please PRAY. You are in a place right now that feels safe, that might even feel normal.... but it is a total lie. Go to God and find a way to see that this is a real problem. Its OK to feel as weak as you feel... just don't give in to the addiction. We are lost sheep without our Shepard!
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