AHHH!! Help.. ME!!..

[sarahelizabeth]

Long story


I like this guy named Tyler.. most of yall or maybe some know that..
anyways.. He is not a Christian for one.. and HE is a drinker..

do you think you would date someone that wasn't a Christian..( if you are one..).. would you date them if they drank Heavy and was always partying?!!

i am in love with him and i am not sure what to do

for the past 3 months since i started talking to him
I been wanting to be with him on and off on and off. like i feel so confused

i need some advise or help

I feel lost

 

[Saucy]

You know the answer.

 

[sarahelizabeth]

no.. I dont..
i feel so confused :/

liek part of me wants to work it out with him and part of me doesnt

I CANT let him go
i cant.. i try and try

 

[SnowyMacie]

Why do you love him?

 

[Dzhessika]

No I personally wouldn't drink some one who is a heavy drinker as I am not a drinker sure if it was a drink here and there I could understand but always drinking and at the bar no thanks I just wouldn't be comfortable with it .. as for the Christian part I think it's better if he is one you can just relate to Christians and grow in your walk together and it's just plain better.

 

[sarahelizabeth]

Thats the THing I Dont know.. b.c I just have these feelings for him
I have liked him for a while.!!
and He awlay wanted to date me.. but I am so confused I got mixed emtions and all!!

 

[sarahelizabeth]

No I personally wouldn't drink some one who is a heavy drinker as I am not a drinker sure if it was a drink here and there I could understand but always drinking and at the bar no thanks I just wouldn't be comfortable with it .. as for the Christian part I think it's better if he is one you can just relate to Christians and grow in your walk together and it's just plain better.

I agree.. he was telling me that Me and him could work out.. That Oppisotes attract AH!! i am not sure why but i feel so confused with it all!

like i know it is wrong to date him but i just yeah i dont know why i like him!!
i dont know why i wanna be with him
part of me knows it is wrong
but part of me is saying it is okay

 

[SnowyMacie]

Thats the THing I Dont know.. b.c I just have these feelings for him
I have liked him for a while.!!
and He awlay wanted to date me.. but I am so confused I got mixed emtions and all!!

if you don't know, why are you with him. I don't know how he treats you, but it sounds like you ultimately don't want to be with him. Granted, just takes out a lot, but it looks like you are wanting to end this and need that extra push.

 

[Dzhessika]

You have to do what your heart says only you will know the answer . Do you really like him , or are you just really wanting to be with some one and are trying to fill the void with anyone who comes along?Definately pray about it and see where things lead. You will know the right thing to do but just don't settle for him if you don't think he is the one.

 

[Guy Incognito]

Homie, I get that you like/love him, but don't date him. Sure, part of you will wonder 'well, maybe it'd work', but you know where it could go, and you know it shouldn't. I know it sucks, and it's hard, but don't do it.

Pm me if you'd like.

 

[sarahelizabeth]

if you don't know, why are you with him. I don't know how he treats you, but it sounds like you ultimately don't want to be with him. Granted, just takes out a lot, but it looks like you are wanting to end this and need that extra push.

yeah i guess you are right on that one..!!!.. I need that Push!! i just dontg know how to push myself!!

 

[sarahelizabeth]

You have to do what your heart says only you will know the answer . Do you really like him , or are you just really wanting to be with some one and are trying to fill the void with anyone who comes along?Definately pray about it and see where things lead. You will know the right thing to do but just don't settle for him if you don't think he is the one.

Thanks so much girl!! I needed that.. that was the right answer this helped me think!!


@ chris..
thanks Buddy


and btw sorry everyone
i just this was eating me up and I HAD to get this out!!

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Leave him. That is the answer, and I do believe you know this.

Clearly this guy is not one you need to be in a relationship with, especially as a Christian girl. This boy is lost and is ruining his life/health with drinking and the last thing he needs is you to do everything in your power to hang on to the relationship. What he 'needs' is you to break up with him, to tell him why you've broken up with him and then pray steadfastly for his salvation.

Alcoholism runs in both sides of my family. For several generations. I've seen first hand what drinking does to a person, I've seen it in my cousin who is only a year older then me. He's literally an alcoholic. This guy you're with is bad news and no matter how hard it may be, you 'need' to break up with him and distance yourself. It's not a healthy relationship and you're also putting yourself at risk of falling into the temptation to drink as well. I'm not saying you aren't strong enough to hold back from such a temptation, but we're all human here...everyone falls prey to some kind of temptation, big or small, at some point in their life.

 

[EspressoExpress]

No, I wouldn't date a non-Christian because, for me, to date a person is to decide whether I can spend the rest of my life with him. Whether he's a Christian or not is a pre-dating thing to find out.
And, even if he did profess to be a Christian, I wouldn't date a man who drinks heavily... It's not my lifestyle, and it speaks of deeper issues in their lives...

My advice is, don't get any deeper into this than you already are... I know it's tough. I've been in a situation a little like yours before. A lot of prayers and a lot of tears.

 

[sarahelizabeth]

Leave him. That is the answer, and I do believe you know this.

Clearly this guy is not one you need to be in a relationship with, especially as a Christian girl. This boy is lost and is ruining his life/health with drinking and the last thing he needs is you to do everything in your power to hang on to the relationship. What he 'needs' is you to break up with him, to tell him why you've broken up with him and then pray steadfastly for his salvation.

Alcoholism runs in both sides of my family. For several generations. I've seen first hand what drinking does to a person, I've seen it in my cousin who is only a year older then me. He's literally an alcoholic. This guy you're with is bad news and no matter how hard it may be, you 'need' to break up with him and distance yourself. It's not a healthy relationship and you're also putting yourself at risk of falling into the temptation to drink as well. I'm not saying you aren't strong enough to hold back from such a temptation, but we're all human here...everyone falls prey to some kind of temptation, big or small, at some point in their life.

I do know the awsner but it so hard i am so broken.. i really just had to make a post about this b.c i needed to talk about it .. yeah Girl Alcoholism runs in my family. as well


I just feel so broken

 

[sarahelizabeth]

No, I wouldn't date a non-Christian because, for me, to date a person is to decide whether I can spend the rest of my life with him. Whether he's a Christian or not is a pre-dating thing to find out.
And, even if he did profess to be a Christian, I wouldn't date a man who drinks heavily... It's not my lifestyle, and it speaks of deeper issues in their lives...

My advice is, don't get any deeper into this than you already are... I know it's tough. I've been in a situation a little like yours before. A lot of prayers and a lot of tears.

i know it is tough idk how to get out of it

 

[Amber.ly]

Let me show you your future:

You fall for him. He breaks your heart. You are more miserable, afraid and broken than you ever thought possible.

Wounds can heal and time can push away memories but ask anyone who has ever walked themselves into the place where you are heading and they would say that they wish they had been smart enough and strong enough to get out in the beginning.

You already know what you should do. Now just do it. If you can't do it on your own, recruit friends and family into helping you set boundaries and protect you when you can't do it yourself.

Practical stuff: stop all communication. Block his phone number, block on Facebook, block his username on any IMing and anytime you feel yourself slipping and needing to talk to him- get up and go for a walk or call a friend or do something to give your head space to make the right choice.

 

[sarahelizabeth]

Let me show you your future:

You fall for him. He breaks your heart. You are more miserable, afraid and broken than you ever thought possible.

Wounds can heal and time can push away memories but ask anyone who has ever walked themselves into the place where you are heading and they would say that they wish they had been smart enough and strong enough to get out in the beginning.

You already know what you should do. Now just do it. If you can't do it on your own, recruit friends and family into helping you set boundaries and protect you when you can't do it yourself.

Good Point..

I thikn like someone said.. I think it is more of the fact i feel lonely and i think in my mind I NEED A bf..
and i dont know how to get that outta my head thats the problem

 

[Rhye]

Sarah I am going to be honest with you here. I'm also going to put the non-Christian thing aside.

He is a drinker. I know what its like to live with a drinker and it kills your life. It destroys your life and his life. If he doesn't want to change that, if he doesn't put the effort in his life and fight it daily to not drink, then you will be in even more pain.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

You already know what you should do. Now just do it. If you can't do it on your own, recruit friends and family into helping you set boundaries and protect you when you can't do it yourself.

Practical stuff: stop all communication. Block his phone number, block on Facebook, block his username on any IMing and anytime you feel yourself slipping and needing to talk to him- get up and go for a walk or call a friend or do something to give your head space to make the right choice.

Very good advice. I second this.