Age Gaps between kids

[angelsgirl]

What age gaps do you have between your kiddies?
Which ones were harder and which ones were easier?

I'm keen to have another baby (maybe not right now) but sometime soon and a couple of the girls at work have been trying to talk me out of having less than a 3 year gap between children! I would like at least 4 kids and that would mean that number 2 would be at 28, 3 at 31, and 4 at 34! I would like to be done having kids before I am 34!

I did have a bit of a pregnancy scare last week, AF was late and I had a little stomach bug... which immediately made me think i was pregnant. I am happy that I'm not pregnant, but also a little sad. I was getting all excited about having another baby. I'm happy cause it means I can enjoy Maddie by herself for a little longer!

Anyways, I'll stop rambling now!

 

[jgonz]

Oh forget it~ I just tried to figure out all the age gaps and it's taking too much brain power.

The shortest gap was 17 months, and the longest gap was 6 years. Both of these were hard in completely different ways... The shortest gap was hard because I had 2 babies in diapers at the same time. The longest gap was hard because I wasn't in "baby mode" anymore and forgot a lot about diapers, sleepless nights, and potty training! lol

For _me_ the easiest age gap has been about 2 yrs. I'm still in baby mode, but the toddler and baby are far enough apart that the toddler is able to some things by him/herself.

Why the big rush to have all your babies by 34? I had #6 at 34, #7 at 38, #8 at 40, #9 at 42, and just now #10 at 48! Although I don't know if I'd recommend planning a baby at 48...

 

[angelsgirl]

jgnoz... i swear you need a medal!
10 kids the last at 48!!!

I don't know why i want to be done having babies before 34... it's just what i've always thought. But then again before i got married i only wanted 2 kids. So things change!

 

[dpk]

Sometimes you just can't plan these things! You make a plan and God says, "Oh, you think so?" My plan was to have our last baby before I was 35... I now have a 6 week old at 37! When I was nearing 35 and I still wasn't pregnant, I just started praying "Your will, Lord, not mine."

Anyway, our 2 girls are 5 years apart. I'm glad God planned it that way... he knows what I can handle and what I cannot! Beyond having only one kid in diapers (yea!), our older one was old enough to understand what was going on during the pregnancy (to a point! ) and she was so excited about having a baby sister. She is also independent enough to do a lot of things for herself when I've got my hands full with the baby. And she's a great helper, too (sometimes too much!). I'm sure the five year difference will come in handy when it comes time for putting them through college - only one at a time!

I'm a firm believer that God will do as He plans in your life if you let him. And His plans are so much better than what we have for ourselves. He's shown that to me a number of times, and not just about babies! So don't get too stressed out about the "scheduling" of having your babies. God won't give you more than you can handle!

 

[Leanna]

It is true that sometimes the best laid plans.... go awry...

I would never purposefully choose a gap larger than 2 1/2 years at this point. Anything else is workable.

 

[angelsgirl]

Yeah... i agree with the planning not going as you had planned!!! We wanted to have a little bit of time together when we were married before we had a baby... 9 months after we were married we had Madeleine!!!

 

[TCat]

God DOES do the planning. We never used bc and it took us 6 years to have our first, I was 26, DH was 30, our son is now 15. We figured we were done, loved having our son and loved the idea that we'd be in our 40's when he would be out of the house. God DOES love to laugh at our plans. 11 years later we had our second child. She is now 4 and a real princess, we all adore her but what a challenge!

 

[Neenie1]

Don't worry about what the "best" age gap is. I don't think there is one really.

I would be perfectly happy to have another baby in 5 years lol, I want one now pretty bad, but it's looking like dh wants to wait longer. So we will. Ds is 7 in November and dd turned 3 in June (3 years 7 months gap) it's worked out pretty well, even though I wanted 2 years or less age gap. It doesn't really matter when you have your babies as long as they are healthy and well.

Jgonz - you are my inspiration - I'll think of you every time I freak out thinking that I need to have a baby now because I'm getting too old ROFL.


I also have a friend who had her first baby at 16, and she is having her 10th in January. She's 35 (I think)

 

[FaithLoveHope9]

It doesn't really matter when you have your babies as long as they are healthy and well.

Thank you. I don't really know why I was reading this thread, as I currently have zero children, but I reallly needed to hear that.

I am a type A personality, and not having any control of when my children are going to be born is very very hard for me.

I've come to realize it doesn't matter WHEN my children are born- just that they are healthy.

 

[marezee]

Thank you. I don't really know why I was reading this thread, as I currently have zero children, but I reallly needed to hear that.

I am a type A personality, and not having any control of when my children are going to be born is very very hard for me.

I've come to realize it doesn't matter WHEN my children are born- just that they are healthy.

Amen to that! my first two boys are 12 months and 2 wks apart...that wasn't our planning either...that was God's planning! LOL!
Our third son came along when son #2 was 2yrs old.
I love their age gaps. they play well together most of the time, and i can easily pass down clothes from one to the next.
but i also agree with most here...that it really doesn't matter what the age gap is, as long as they are healthy! You will love them just the same!

 

[jgonz]

The only child we actually Planned was #3. And she was born with birth defects and passed away at 4.5 months old. I swore I'd never plan again and leave it up to God when (or if) we had any more kids. So, we used birth control and continued to get pregnant! LOL God is Definately in control.

 

[PegasusOnFire]

our gaps are 11 months between DC1(lost to miscarriage) and DD1, 26 months between DD1 and DD2, and finally 23 months between DD2 and DC4(due in April)

I love the age gap and did not plan the first two pregnancies, and we had started talking about getting pregnant when we got pregnant with the last two.

 

[ido]

There are 2 years and 11 months between my sons. They are currently 6 and 3. If I had it to do over again, I would do it the same way. The only really difficult thing about getting preggers again with a two year old underfoot was the lack of energy for trying to keep up with him. That and he potty-trained just before DS2 was born and promptly digressed for 6 months after DS2 was born.

I'm 34 now and am done having children unless I re-marry to someone who does not have any children and wants a biological child. Now that the youngest will be 4 in November, I just don't know if I could go all the way back to newborn stage again.

 

[angelsgirl]

The more and more I think about it... as much as I wouldn't want to have a baby after 35ish... it wouldn't be that bad.
We'll have to see what life gives us!!!

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

Great thread. This is something Dh and I have been talking about a lot lately- I know I'm only due to have my first the end of November, but it's still something that has been on my mind lately. Specially since we will have to make a decision about some sort of birth control once my cycles return (which I am hoping will not be for a looooooooong time - and by birth control I mean am I going to go back to using NFP/FAM or are we just going to continue on and if I fall pregnant so be it...).

Since it took us 2 years to conceive we really have no idea what to expect the second time around- will it take that long again? Or will I be like so many stories of infertility that after having a hard time conceiving the first time, after the baby you turn into a walking super fertile wonder woman . So I really have no idea.

 

[Leanna]

I loooooooove my 14 months spacing so far ....

 

[GolfingMom]

Kiddo's are almost 2 years apart. I had my oldest out of diapers when the youngest was born so that wasn't an issue. If we had more I would've attempted another 2 year gap b/n middle child and new baby.

 

[Gods4me]

the age gap will be 3 and half year between my two. every says it ill be a really good age gap. i dono well see. i dont think it makes much diffrence how far apart. kids are dificult and alot of work at any age.

 

[EbonNelumbo]

I concur with SOTFB, awesome thread. My husband and I have been discussing it a lot and I think 2.5 years is what we're shooting for.

 

[Called2Grace]

There is 4.5 yrs between my daughter and my son.
I think this was more to do with the fact that her birth was fairly traumatic and it took me a little while to work through that.

Only time will tell how good/bad the age difference is.