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I stepped out on God. I was married to my husband for 25 years when it happened. I started into an online affair with an old coworker. Then it turned physical. We only met three times in the two years the affair lasted. It wasn't really a love affair. I admit I fell for him the first few months but after the second time we had sex I was ready to end it. But I didn't know how. I was scared to. He basically used me for sex and dirty pictures. My husband found out and was devistated. I couldn't believe I hurt my husband so much. I am so sorry, ashamed and humiliated. I have asked him and God for forgiveness. I am doing everything I can think of to fix my mistake. But my husband read our text messages and saw the pictures. We are going to M/C and things are looking up. But the text messages took a toll on his ego. My affair partner wasn't great in bed. But he always asked Everytime he texted and I just played along and I would tell him he was good. My husband never got over that. My husband is by far a better lover but this just killed his sexual ego. It's been 2 1/2 years now and he still has break downs. Depression. I feel so bad about this. What can I do or say to him to help him? We never had any problems in the bedroom. But now he feels second best. I can't take it anymore. I need to do or say something to help but I can't think of anything. How can I make him feel he's better than the jerk I had an affair with? It's like he has lost his manhood which I understand I am to blame for that. I pray every night God will heal us. This was all my fault and I'm lost on what to do.
I stepped out on God. I was married to my husband for 25 years when it happened. I started into an online affair with an old coworker. Then it turned physical. We only met three times in the two years the affair lasted. It wasn't really a love affair. I admit I fell for him the first few months but after the second time we had sex I was ready to end it. But I didn't know how. I was scared to. He basically used me for sex and dirty pictures. My husband found out and was devistated. I couldn't believe I hurt my husband so much. I am so sorry, ashamed and humiliated. I have asked him and God for forgiveness. I am doing everything I can think of to fix my mistake. But my husband read our text messages and saw the pictures. We are going to M/C and things are looking up. But the text messages took a toll on his ego. My affair partner wasn't great in bed. But he always asked Everytime he texted and I just played along and I would tell him he was good. My husband never got over that. My husband is by far a better lover but this just killed his sexual ego. It's been 2 1/2 years now and he still has break downs. Depression. I feel so bad about this. What can I do or say to him to help him? We never had any problems in the bedroom. But now he feels second best. I can't take it anymore. I need to do or say something to help but I can't think of anything. How can I make him feel he's better than the jerk I had an affair with? It's like he has lost his manhood which I understand I am to blame for that. I pray every night God will heal us. This was all my fault and I'm lost on what to do.
I stepped out on God. I was married to my husband for 25 years when it happened. I started into an online affair with an old coworker. Then it turned physical. We only met three times in the two years the affair lasted. It wasn't really a love affair. I admit I fell for him the first few months but after the second time we had sex I was ready to end it. But I didn't know how. I was scared to. He basically used me for sex and dirty pictures. My husband found out and was devistated. I couldn't believe I hurt my husband so much. I am so sorry, ashamed and humiliated. I have asked him and God for forgiveness. I am doing everything I can think of to fix my mistake. But my husband read our text messages and saw the pictures. We are going to M/C and things are looking up. But the text messages took a toll on his ego. My affair partner wasn't great in bed. But he always asked Everytime he texted and I just played along and I would tell him he was good. My husband never got over that. My husband is by far a better lover but this just killed his sexual ego. It's been 2 1/2 years now and he still has break downs. Depression. I feel so bad about this. What can I do or say to him to help him? We never had any problems in the bedroom. But now he feels second best. I can't take it anymore. I need to do or say something to help but I can't think of anything. How can I make him feel he's better than the jerk I had an affair with? It's like he has lost his manhood which I understand I am to blame for that. I pray every night God will heal us. This was all my fault and I'm lost on what to do.
This is a really tough one. Something you mentioned was marriage counseling... make sure it is by a certified Christian counselor if it all possible...
-------------------------------------------------------------------I stepped out on God. I was married to my husband for 25 years when it happened. I started into an online affair with an old coworker. Then it turned physical. We only met three times in the two years the affair lasted. It wasn't really a love affair. I admit I fell for him the first few months but after the second time we had sex I was ready to end it. But I didn't know how. I was scared to. He basically used me for sex and dirty pictures. My husband found out and was devistated. I couldn't believe I hurt my husband so much. I am so sorry, ashamed and humiliated. I have asked him and God for forgiveness. I am doing everything I can think of to fix my mistake. But my husband read our text messages and saw the pictures. We are going to M/C and things are looking up. But the text messages took a toll on his ego. My affair partner wasn't great in bed. But he always asked Everytime he texted and I just played along and I would tell him he was good. My husband never got over that. My husband is by far a better lover but this just killed his sexual ego. It's been 2 1/2 years now and he still has break downs. Depression. I feel so bad about this. What can I do or say to him to help him? We never had any problems in the bedroom. But now he feels second best. I can't take it anymore. I need to do or say something to help but I can't think of anything. How can I make him feel he's better than the jerk I had an affair with? It's like he has lost his manhood which I understand I am to blame for that. I pray every night God will heal us. This was all my fault and I'm lost on what to do.
I stepped out on God. I was married to my husband for 25 years when it happened. I started into an online affair with an old coworker. Then it turned physical. We only met three times in the two years the affair lasted. It wasn't really a love affair. I admit I fell for him the first few months but after the second time we had sex I was ready to end it. But I didn't know how. I was scared to. He basically used me for sex and dirty pictures. My husband found out and was devistated. I couldn't believe I hurt my husband so much. I am so sorry, ashamed and humiliated. I have asked him and God for forgiveness. I am doing everything I can think of to fix my mistake. But my husband read our text messages and saw the pictures. We are going to M/C and things are looking up. But the text messages took a toll on his ego. My affair partner wasn't great in bed. But he always asked Everytime he texted and I just played along and I would tell him he was good. My husband never got over that. My husband is by far a better lover but this just killed his sexual ego. It's been 2 1/2 years now and he still has break downs. Depression. I feel so bad about this. What can I do or say to him to help him? We never had any problems in the bedroom. But now he feels second best. I can't take it anymore. I need to do or say something to help but I can't think of anything. How can I make him feel he's better than the jerk I had an affair with? It's like he has lost his manhood which I understand I am to blame for that. I pray every night God will heal us. This was all my fault and I'm lost on what to do.
My dear, you need to pour your heart and soul into your husband now. Presents continually. Gifts. Flowers. Dressing for him in the bedroom. In short, give so much attention to him that he has no choice but to believe he is the only one.
And compliment him on every manly thing he does. If necessary - I know this will sound extreme, but you asked for advice - get down on your hands and knees before him and beg him for his forgiveness. Confess what you are telling us. Seeing you do so in that position may be just enough to make him believe. I know that might sound rough, but you may have to go to extreme measures to prove you really love him now.
Best wishes, and please put this up in the Prayer Forum. I'm sure there will be some willing to go to God for you over your situation.
In Christ,
Hidden
When I was a child in my home country, I was raped several times. Then I was sold into sex slavery. Basically raped everyday. Even on days I sick.
If so, excellent; if not, don't hold back. It puts your more recent behavior in perspective, and that perspective may well be critical to him understanding you and being open to rebuilding trust with you again. Understanding the "why" of your actions is foundational to his healing
Don't apologize for this Hidden. This humility is good and right, especially in this situation.
As a man, I can tell you if my wife did this for me after grieving me so immensely, it would be antithetical to the image she would have built of herself to me.
I stepped out on God. I was married to my husband for 25 years when it happened. I started into an online affair with an old coworker. Then it turned physical. We only met three times in the two years the affair lasted. It wasn't really a love affair. I admit I fell for him the first few months but after the second time we had sex I was ready to end it. But I didn't know how. I was scared to. He basically used me for sex and dirty pictures. My husband found out and was devistated. I couldn't believe I hurt my husband so much. I am so sorry, ashamed and humiliated. I have asked him and God for forgiveness. I am doing everything I can think of to fix my mistake. But my husband read our text messages and saw the pictures. We are going to M/C and things are looking up. But the text messages took a toll on his ego. My affair partner wasn't great in bed. But he always asked Everytime he texted and I just played along and I would tell him he was good. My husband never got over that. My husband is by far a better lover but this just killed his sexual ego. It's been 2 1/2 years now and he still has break downs. Depression. I feel so bad about this. What can I do or say to him to help him? We never had any problems in the bedroom. But now he feels second best. I can't take it anymore. I need to do or say something to help but I can't think of anything. How can I make him feel he's better than the jerk I had an affair with? It's like he has lost his manhood which I understand I am to blame for that. I pray every night God will heal us. This was all my fault and I'm lost on what to do.
Thank you so very much. So many answers I'm so happy. My husband says he won't divorce me. He said he promised me and God for better or worse. I haven't been a good wife. I must confess I have kept secrets from him. When I was a child in my home country, I was raped several times. Then I was sold into sex slavery. Basically raped everyday. Even on days I sick. I was able to go to church and I would pray God give me a husband. Well one day I met him. I managed to run away and soon met my husband. And he married me so God answered my prayer. But I kept those secret will me. I see now how it affected my life and marrage. My M/C said I have low self esteem. At the time I was starting menopause and I had lot of depression. So I guess I fall for the love bombing from this other man. I let the devil into my life. Not an excuse tho. But I have been learning to communicate better but still not very good. My husband knows my past now and he's been great supporting me. I really screwed up. I guess I'm lucky god gave me a Christian man. Otherwise I be homeless on the street. I will take your advice. I thank you all. I pray God will heal his heart. We stopped going to church. He just didn't want to go. But we will go back. I hold his hand and pray every night. He prays alone. To himself. I will work harder. I know God has forgiven me even if I not worth it.
I stepped out on God. I was married to my husband for 25 years when it happened. I started into an online affair with an old coworker. Then it turned physical. We only met three times in the two years the affair lasted. It wasn't really a love affair. I admit I fell for him the first few months but after the second time we had sex I was ready to end it. But I didn't know how. I was scared to. He basically used me for sex and dirty pictures. My husband found out and was devistated. I couldn't believe I hurt my husband so much. I am so sorry, ashamed and humiliated. I have asked him and God for forgiveness. I am doing everything I can think of to fix my mistake. But my husband read our text messages and saw the pictures. We are going to M/C and things are looking up. But the text messages took a toll on his ego. My affair partner wasn't great in bed. But he always asked Everytime he texted and I just played along and I would tell him he was good. My husband never got over that. My husband is by far a better lover but this just killed his sexual ego. It's been 2 1/2 years now and he still has break downs. Depression. I feel so bad about this. What can I do or say to him to help him? We never had any problems in the bedroom. But now he feels second best. I can't take it anymore. I need to do or say something to help but I can't think of anything. How can I make him feel he's better than the jerk I had an affair with? It's like he has lost his manhood which I understand I am to blame for that. I pray every night God will heal us. This was all my fault and I'm lost on what to do.
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