Advice to feel less lonely after getting dumped

[Yoan]

Just move on with your life and start working on things in your life that you would like to accomplish.

Yeah I'm really try. Thanks chris. Please pray for me

 

[MehGuy]

I have always felt lonely even before I met my bf, I didn't have many friends and I usually got bored and tried to talk to strangers online or just try to entertain myself with movies or TV or YouTube, but after my bf broke up with me the loneliness hit me like no other. This once, I have a comparison as to how happy and unlonesome I can be. Especially on Sundays, I don't know why, but I miss him a lot. A whole lot.

Any advice?

Try the dating world again.

I would say pick up friends, but I think what you're suffering from is romantic loneliness. A great new guy should get you out of the funk, if you can find him.

 

[Yoan]

Try the dating world again.

I would say pick up friends, but I think what you're suffering from is romantic loneliness. A great new guy should get you out of the funk, if you can find him.

Hahaha I don't think I'm ready yet to love someone else. He suggested us going back to God as the reason for our break up so I'm going to try and do that. And I honestly, can't open up myself to anyone else. Not now at least.

 

[timewerx]

Yeah I'm trying to get a job and everything now. It's just very difficult to get on without any distractions really. If you read my previous thread posts you'll know what's going on. I'll not force you to. But prayers for healing, guidance, and strength please! Thanks

No problem, I'll pray for you. Let it gracefully heal with time.

Speaking of distractions, around the time I had a break up, the company I worked for decided to send me overseas on a 6-month arrangement (so I don't have to pay overseas tax). It made me forget about the ordeal completely. It helped a lot!

Never let this pain discourage you though from another relationship. Of course, not too soon!

 

[Yoan]

Thanks so much!!!! Now I'm currently jobless so I don't have that luxurious distraction
It sucks feeling sad like this everyday. I hope you won't mind if i bother you every now and again for someone to talk to

 

[timewerx]

Thanks so much!!!! Now I'm currently jobless so I don't have that luxurious distraction
It sucks feeling sad like this everyday. I hope you won't mind if i bother you every now and again for someone to talk to

Interesting. Such huge problem should take your mind off it. It's a problem that warrants solution and some contemplation should be enough of a distraction.

 

[Gnarwhal]

I have always felt lonely even before I met my bf, I didn't have many friends and I usually got bored and tried to talk to strangers online or just try to entertain myself with movies or TV or YouTube, but after my bf broke up with me the loneliness hit me like no other. This once, I have a comparison as to how happy and unlonesome I can be. Especially on Sundays, I don't know why, but I miss him a lot. A whole lot.

Any advice?

My advice echoes @ReesePiece23: work on yourself. If this breakup really is a major emotional issue for you then I suggest counseling. I've done counseling, my brother-in-law's done counseling, I've had friends do counseling, and I cannot stress enough how beneficial it is to a person's emotional and mental health. There is absolutely no way in hell that you're going to "get over it" just by sitting in a dark room all by your lonesome listening to breakup music.

You need to be proactive, connect with someone (preferably a qualified counselor) who can help you process all of the components of a failed relationship so that you can move forward as a well-adjusted individual. If you can get to a place where you're 110% with or without a relationship, then you're doing well in life - and trust me everyone can get to that place.

 

[CCHIPSS]

In Dec 2014 I broke up with my EX. She was my first every GF and I was already 31 at the time. We dated for only a few months. But when it happened it was the most intense pain I had ever felt. I would cry in my bed and cry when I drive to work. I kept thinking how I could have done better. etc

But after 2-3 months, the pain slowly disappeared. So time will heal. Everyone heals at a different rate. And it varies depending on how long your relationship with your EX was and how serious you were. But you have to believe that time does heal.

Secondly trust that God will pull you through. God has a different plan for everyone. Some marries their high school sweet heart. Others need to date 10-20 times (or more) before they find their spouse. But have faith in God. Remember all the troubles that God pulled you through in the past. Then trust that God will also pull you through this one.

Thirdly never stay alone. Call your close friends to tell them about your feelings. When you can meet your friends in person. Talk to your family. etc. Do not shut yourself in your room and keep thinking about it day and night. That is the worst thing you can do.

Fourthly surround yourself with positive energy. Even if you are alone, go out for walks and runs around the neighborhood. Go to a playground and watch kids having fun. Watch funny TV shows and skip all the sad ones on purpose. Listen to online sermons on having hope in God. Listen to how others suffer greatly (losing their child, lost their legs, etc) and they are now doing great.

 

[Yoan]

In Dec 2014 I broke up with my EX. She was my first every GF and I was already 31 at the time. We dated for only a few months. But when it happened it was the most intense pain I had ever felt. I would cry in my bed and cry when I drive to work. I kept thinking how I could have done better. etc

But after 2-3 months, the pain slowly disappeared. So time will heal. Everyone heals at a different rate. And it varies depending on how long your relationship with your EX was and how serious you were. But you have to believe that time does heal.

Secondly trust that God will pull you through. God has a different plan for everyone. Some marries their high school sweet heart. Others need to date 10-20 times (or more) before they find their spouse. But have faith in God. Remember all the troubles that God pulled you through in the past. Then trust that God will also pull you through this one.

Thirdly never stay alone. Call your close friends to tell them about your feelings. When you can meet your friends in person. Talk to your family. etc. Do not shut yourself in your room and keep thinking about it day and night. That is the worst thing you can do.

Fourthly surround yourself with positive energy. Even if you are alone, go out for walks and runs around the neighborhood. Go to a playground and watch kids having fun. Watch funny TV shows and skip all the sad ones on purpose. Listen to online sermons on having hope in God. Listen to how others suffer greatly (losing their child, lost their legs, etc) and they are now doing great.

Thank you to take the time for the extensive reply. The last part is the hard one, cause I don't have many friends. Maybe only 4? And 3 of them are not here? Hahaha but yeah I'm really trying which is why I'm in this forum i guess. Prayers please! Thanks a lot!

 

[ReesePiece23]

Thank you to take the time for the extensive reply. The last part is the hard one, cause I don't have many friends. Maybe only 4? And 3 of them are not here? Hahaha but yeah I'm really trying which is why I'm in this forum i guess. Prayers please! Thanks a lot!

Even more reason to take on board what @Darth Bagel said about counselling. I forgot to mention it myself actually...

It'll be in your instincts now to withdraw yourself, hide away and lick your wounds. And whilst that's a perfectly normal reaction to emotional pain, the problem is that soon enough it'll be five years down the line and you'll have achieved absolutely nothing. You'll be stuck, wishing that you could have 'the good ol' days' back. Instead of living in the present, where you should be.

Talking things through will help you to rationalise all of these crazy emotions you're feeling. Once you get to that stage, those emotions will appear like a maths equation. Complex, sure. But totally solvable.

 

[Yoan]

Even more reason to take on board what @Darth Bagel said about counselling. I forgot to mention it myself actually...

It'll be in your instincts now to withdraw yourself, hide away and lick your wounds. And whilst that's a perfectly normal reaction to emotional pain, the problem is that soon enough it'll be five years down the line and you'll have achieved absolutely nothing. You'll be stuck, wishing that you could have 'the good ol' days' back. Instead of living in the present, where you should be.

Talking things through will help you to rationalise all of these crazy emotions you're feeling. Once you get to that stage, those emotions will appear like a maths equation. Complex, sure. But totally solvable.

im going to talk to the minister of the new church that i've only been to twice, but yeah imma tell him everything. hopefully that'll help

 

[CCHIPSS]

Thank you to take the time for the extensive reply. The last part is the hard one, cause I don't have many friends. Maybe only 4? And 3 of them are not here? Hahaha but yeah I'm really trying which is why I'm in this forum i guess. Prayers please! Thanks a lot!

Try to meet more people. Have you heard of meetup.com? There are various hobby and interest groups there. See if you can find one that you like.

You can also join other clubs. Maybe a bowling club, hiking club, boardgame club, kickboxing club, etc.

 

[Yoan]

Try to meet more people. Have you heard of meetup.com? There are various hobby and interest groups there. See if you can find one that you like.

You can also join other clubs. Maybe a bowling club, hiking club, boardgame club, kickboxing club, etc.

Will do and try. Thanks

 

[Peace Keeper]

Remember God is always there and loves you and He has a plan for you. I get lonely at times as well and it can get really hard. I haven't had many friends in real life, especially those who believe in God and such, and sometimes I do cry myself to sleep because I wish I had someone to help me grow in my Faith and have a prayer partner and just a friend to talk to and hang out. It is very hard, but God does make it easier.

 

[Sketcher]

The best advice I have is to get back to who you were created to be and to doing what you were created to do, through the lens of your identity in Christ. If you never learned this before, now is a great time to start.

 

[Yoan]

Remember God is always there and loves you and He has a plan for you. I get lonely at times as well and it can get really hard. I haven't had many friends in real life, especially those who believe in God and such, and sometimes I do cry myself to sleep because I wish I had someone to help me grow in my Faith and have a prayer partner and just a friend to talk to and hang out. It is very hard, but God does make it easier.

Thanks I'm trying yeah

 

[Yoan]

The best advice I have is to get back to who you were created to be and to doing what you were created to do, through the lens of your identity in Christ. If you never learned this before, now is a great time to start.

Ok

 

[LonelyTraveler]

My advice is alcohol and preparing to die, which is what I'm doing. But that's bad advice so don't do it. In theory you can "lean on the Lord" and "trust in Him" and all that jazz, but I haven't even gotten a HUG from trying them. So yeah, don't take advice from me.

 

[Yoan]

My advice is alcohol and preparing to die, which is what I'm doing. But that's bad advice so don't do it. In theory you can "lean on the Lord" and "trust in Him" and all that jazz, but I haven't even gotten a HUG from trying them. So yeah, don't take advice from me.

Yeah i know. It sucks. Life sucks

 

[LonelyTraveler]

Aye, but we must persevere.