adults disobeying their parents

[ssammoh]

I am confused because I have talked to people who seem to think it's okay for adults to disobey their parents. Why is that? The Bible says to obey your parents. Not "obey your parents until you turn 18." obey your parents. period.

Is there something I am missing here?

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

I am confused because I have talked to people who seem to think it's okay for adults to disobey their parents. Why is that? The Bible says to obey your parents. Not "obey your parents until you turn 18." obey your parents. period.

Is there something I am missing here?

Only that all mankind is wicked and won't do what YHWH(GOD) says.

Your posts have been insightful and honoring God's Word, which is encouraging to those who read them with understanding.

Many families are so dysfunctional they look forward to getting the kids out of the house
and say "so they don't have to bother with them any more ! " .... (that's horrible, by the way)....
and
many children move out as soon as possible saying the same thing! (that's even worse for the children ! ) ....

Yes, read all through the BIBLE. ALWAYS obey your parents, all your life.

HONOR your father and your mother SO IT MAY BE WELL WITH THEE and thou mayest live long on the earth. IS THE FIRST COMMANDMENT WITH PROMISE
and it has NEVER changed.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Not every family functions the way God intended. Some people have mental illnesses and are not living in reality.

I'm 52, and if my mother had it her way, I'd still be living in her house, with her telling me what time to go to bed, calling me awake in the morning when she thinks I should get up, going only where she gives me permission to go, wearing clothing that she has inspected and approved, eating only the food she shops for and cooks, when she decides it's meal time. If I lived my life her way, I would still not be licensed to drive a car. I would definitely not be married to my husband, because I had to move thousands of miles away from my home state to be with him. I kid you not, she would still hold my hand crossing the street, as if I'm a small child who would dart into traffic if she didn't watch me every minute.

Her image of me is still as a small, dependent child. You tell me, is this a healthy way of life? Would God expect me to abide by it in the name of obeying my mother? And does "honor" and "obey" mean the same thing?

 

[~Anastasia~]

We are to honor our parents all our lives. The commandment is not actually to obey.

It may certainly be wise to obey, if your parents are wise and godly. But really, the relationship of parents to child is meant to change as the child becomes a responsible adult. Parents should be advisors, offering counsel. But giving out commands and running the adult son or daughter's life may not be consistent with letting them become responsible adults and be the head of their own families.

But we should always honor them, regardless if their counsel is wise or not.

 

[MassiCo]

What @LovebirdsFlying said.
I don't think "obey" and "honor" are the same thing. I believe some translations say honor for a reason.

I honor my parents with choices, lifestyle. I honor them with the way I live and behave.
They give me advice, suggestions on how to x and I respect their input but I can't always do as they say?

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I just had this conversation with my honorary granddaughter. My daughter almost married her father, but didn't, thank God, and his children ended up in foster care. Now that she is grown, her birth father is no longer part of her life, but she still looks to us, continues to call us Grandma and Grandpa, and we consider her a member of our family. After I told her what would be expected of me if I still felt I had to obey my mother, she observed that if her father had HIS way, she'd be a "stoner."

The pastor of our church states that even actual, literal children, the kind who are not of age yet, don't have to obey if they're being told to do something against the Bible. Stealing comes to mind--during my own very dysfunctional childhood, we had one step-father who encouraged us to do exactly that. Which of the Ten Commandments were we supposed to follow? Obey your parents, or don't steal?

 

[Aino]

Sometimes we honor our parents best when we don't do things their way but our own. Instead of just having our parents tell us what to do we choose our own work and freetime activities, our own spouse and our own lifestyle. Everytime we make changes we ought to prayerfully consider what would be God's will in the particular situation. By doing the right choises and becoming an individual, responsible person we honor and obey our parents best, not by having them dictate to us what to do every day. Also in Genesis it says that the man is to leave hid parents house and find a wife etc. Doesn't that mean us as well? That we are supposed to start our own life and own family when we grow up.