Accepting fate

[VeerZ]

As I'm sure many of you, I've also been going through this for too long. I've heard a few times that being single and Christian is one of the hardest jobs in the entire planet. I think being single and human period is the hardest.

I had a suicide attempt couple months ago because I couldn't take it anymore and it's rendered me immensely depressed and I know I'll never get a gf. So how do you guys cope besides playing word games on here?

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

well in this section, I don't think we play word games much....

The way I deal with it is by staying close to God. I read my bible every day and I pray everyday and I write in my journal every day.

I also come here to converse with my online friends on issues that we all face or maybe just that I am facing.

I was married for 25 years. My husband died. Yesterday was the 8th anniversary of his passing. I never thought I would be single again at least until I was very old. But here I am. So I can go thru life negatively or positively, it's my choice.

You are still pretty young (considering I'm almost twice your age) and you still have potential to meet someone IMO. I do too, but it's quite different when you are my age, there are alot of other things that older people have just gone thru, that people your age just have not, strictly due to the amount of years we have.

I'm SO sorry that you tried to take your life. I hope you learned at least that you cannot do that if it is not your time to go. I hope you never try it again. Depression is a real issue and I know no one can just post a post or talk you out of being depressed. One thing that works for me also is helping others. When you help others it enriches their lives as well as your own, and your focus shifts from being centered on you to them. Maybe you could volunteer somewhere in church or in your community and that might help a little in your battle with depression.

 

[Life2Christ]

I know I'll never get a gf.

You are 23 years old. Most of us here are over 40 (I will be 40 in 2 weeks). You have your whole life ahead of you!!

I Ditto everything Michelle said (except the part about being married for 25 years).

 

[dayhiker]

Hi Veer,
Welcome to CF.
I'm sorry things got so bad that you felt hanging out here wasn't going to work for you. I'd say repeat that Jewish saying that has help them for centuries. "This too shall pass." As intense as a situation is right now, it wouldn't last forever. As limited as you feel in your ability to deal with your situation right now, tomorrow you will learn a few things and it wouldn't seem so bad.

When I was young, I was clueless about girls, myself and much of the world around me. But I watched, I thought about what I observed and came eventually to understand things. Once I understood I wanted to experience situations for myself. So I walk into them now to see what they are like. Each time I learn more and handle it better. It didn't happen in one day, one month or one year, but now I love all this new stuff with people.

So add to helping others a long term view of that you will figure out your situation and will find friends and a love.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

VeerZ, I just turned 51 and have never been married. I have has some girlfriends/relationships over the years and am quite familiar with rejection. I have things in my past like a failed business attempt and I was one of the caregivers for my father, who had Alzheimers. I am disappointed I have never been married, but there are worse situations like losing your spouse to illness or accident or enduring years of being in an abusive relationship.

You are 23. You can look forward to some good things but also some more bad things. To be honest, if I could have foreseen the hard times I had in my thirties, I don't know what I would have done. I guess I am mostly living my life and not just copeing. I am over 50 and there are many things I still want to do in life whether i ever have another relationship or not. And I have never had a romantic, optimistic view of life. I know in the end God will make all things new but that does not change the fact that life is hard in the here and now. I hope you can find a way to live your life and not just cope with it. It is true there are some days where all one can do is cope.

 

[blackribbon]

I got married at 26 (widowed now). I wasn't even dating my husband at age 23...though I did know him. The average age for men getting married in the US in 2012 was 28.7. I'm not sure why you are giving up so young. However, there are worse things in life than being single even if you do end up never marrying.

As for the depression. Please understand that this can be a REAL medical illness, the same as diabetes or hypertension. There are medications that can help get your brain's chemicals back in balance so that you can use coping mechanisms to get through the hard times. Sometimes if you try to maneuver through live without getting your brain function correctly, it is like trying to row a boat with only one ore...yes, you are moving...but it is only in a big circle. If you are still feeling as "blue" as you sound, consider giving your doctor a visit and see if they help. The drugs don't turn you foggy or "high" but rather, they can lift your mood to functioning level and can help you think clearer.