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A poem for my Danny
- Thread starter c1ners
- Start date
I got the final results back from my doctor Danny. They're sending me to a cancer specialist. Cancer! What the heck? I've got every body and their brother praying that the results will turn out negative, but to tell you the truth, I'm scared. Both scared and numb at the same time. So many times I've prayed to God to please allow me to be with you. To let me suffer through the cancer that you never had to. I just never believed that it might come true. Katrina is an adult now, but I still don't want to leave her orphaned. And I never got to hold any of my future grandchildren. This isn't true danny. This isn't true. Everything will be okay. But if not, I'll be with you soon my love. Save a place next to Jesus for me..........
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There will be a memorial service for Daniel Craig Yager on Saturday April 11, 2010. Although Danny has been gone for almost 23 years now, his wife has never let him go. Although she was in that car and watched him die, she was unable to go to his funeral. She never got to say good bye.
So, on April 11, 2010 Cynthia Brooks Yager Hodge will hold a memorial for her beloved late husband, Daniel Craig Yager in hopes of finally letting him go.
I don't know if I can do this Danny.
So, on April 11, 2010 Cynthia Brooks Yager Hodge will hold a memorial for her beloved late husband, Daniel Craig Yager in hopes of finally letting him go.
I don't know if I can do this Danny.
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I am totally freaking out. How can I do this? How can I let you go? I don't want to. I don't want to lose you all over again. I don't I don't I don't!
I don't know if I can live without him.
I don't know if I can live without him.
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So much has happened in the past five months. I don't really know where to begin. Your memorial service turned out really nice. Katrina was there of course, and my sister and her husband, but that was it. But that's okay. I didn't really need anyone but Katrina anyhow.
I got really sick five months ago. The doctors actually told me that they didn't think I was going to make it through the night and all they could do was keep me comfortable. That was scary. But I pulled through and two weeks later was back at work and doing much better.
I almost left and divorced my now husband a couple times since I've been home from the hospital. I even have my own apartment. It's just sitting there waiting for me to make up my mind. I finally told him about it Monday night. He thinks I should get rid of it, but I don't really want to. I know it's a waste of money, but it's mine. I've got it decorated and everything. Sometimes when he's gone off hunting or whatever I go there and I just sit and think. I've not spent the night in it yet though. It hurts to even think about spending the night there. The reason I got the apartment was to start my new life with someone else. That someone is gone now, and it sort of hurts to think about staying at the apartment without him. Yes, I am a sinner. And it's a good darn thing God loves me enough to send his son to die on the cross in order to forgive my sins.
I really did love him. Sin or not, I really did love him. I would have given up everything in order to be with him. But life goes on and I'm strong enough to get through it. I just wish I knew what happened and why. I trusted him with my life, and he knew it. He also knew that I've been sick and that all the stress wasn't making things any better. He also knew that what we were doing was wrong. And that if we didn't stop I'd lose my job on top of everything else. So he turned and walked away. I guess he took the responsibility of my life serious. I will always love him for that. I'm mad at him, and I'm hurt beyond hurt, but I will always love him for putting my life over our selfishness.
I got really sick five months ago. The doctors actually told me that they didn't think I was going to make it through the night and all they could do was keep me comfortable. That was scary. But I pulled through and two weeks later was back at work and doing much better.
I almost left and divorced my now husband a couple times since I've been home from the hospital. I even have my own apartment. It's just sitting there waiting for me to make up my mind. I finally told him about it Monday night. He thinks I should get rid of it, but I don't really want to. I know it's a waste of money, but it's mine. I've got it decorated and everything. Sometimes when he's gone off hunting or whatever I go there and I just sit and think. I've not spent the night in it yet though. It hurts to even think about spending the night there. The reason I got the apartment was to start my new life with someone else. That someone is gone now, and it sort of hurts to think about staying at the apartment without him. Yes, I am a sinner. And it's a good darn thing God loves me enough to send his son to die on the cross in order to forgive my sins.
I really did love him. Sin or not, I really did love him. I would have given up everything in order to be with him. But life goes on and I'm strong enough to get through it. I just wish I knew what happened and why. I trusted him with my life, and he knew it. He also knew that I've been sick and that all the stress wasn't making things any better. He also knew that what we were doing was wrong. And that if we didn't stop I'd lose my job on top of everything else. So he turned and walked away.
I guess he took the responsibility of my life serious. I will always love him for that. I'm mad at him, and I'm hurt beyond hurt, but I will always love him for putting my life over our selfishness.
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a beautiful roses growth is not hindered no matter how solid the walls built around it for the light it needs to grow comes from above.
so my rose no matter how it may seem that the world and life may be hardening and building a wall around your heart dont loose faith you will continue to grow and be beautiful as long as you keep your eyes upon the light from above.
and tho the world may have the ability to build walls only you my rose have the ability to allow a roof to be built blocking the light from above allowing the rose to die.
This rose is NOT going to die!!!!!!!!!!!
so my rose no matter how it may seem that the world and life may be hardening and building a wall around your heart dont loose faith you will continue to grow and be beautiful as long as you keep your eyes upon the light from above.
and tho the world may have the ability to build walls only you my rose have the ability to allow a roof to be built blocking the light from above allowing the rose to die.
This rose is NOT going to die!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sometimes I feel like I'm in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight.
Sometimes I feel the freedom of being weightless
with the salt water allowing me to float and swim with ease.
And then that storm cloud comes up
and blocks out my sun.
It roars a thunderous noise
and sends rain pelting down upon me.
The sea grows stronger
And the waves get bigger
pushing me deeper and deeper into the sea.
With each wave I get thrown under
only to push my way back up.
But sometimes I wonder how long I can survive
being pushed under constantly.
I'm afraid that one day that big black cloud
is going to make the waves too big
and I'll drown in the middle of that deep blue sea.
Sometimes I feel the freedom of being weightless
with the salt water allowing me to float and swim with ease.
And then that storm cloud comes up
and blocks out my sun.
It roars a thunderous noise
and sends rain pelting down upon me.
The sea grows stronger
And the waves get bigger
pushing me deeper and deeper into the sea.
With each wave I get thrown under
only to push my way back up.
But sometimes I wonder how long I can survive
being pushed under constantly.
I'm afraid that one day that big black cloud
is going to make the waves too big
and I'll drown in the middle of that deep blue sea.
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I went camping over the weekend and had a really good time. Got home and found a echinacea plant by the angel in my front garden. The back shower curtain was pulled down and my bed had been rumpled. The plant I could handle, but knowing that someone had been in my house was a little more unnerving.
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Happy Birthday Danny. I'm sure you're not celebrating in Heaven today. It was your earthly birthday. You'll celebrate your re-birth birthday in 14 days. But today will always be the day I celebrate your life. Maybe when I get to Heaven myself I will be able to celebrate your death, but for now I celebrate today.
So HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE OF MY LIFE! I miss and love you so very much.
So HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE OF MY LIFE! I miss and love you so very much.
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August 14, 1987:
I wasn't there with you that week. I'll never forgive myself for that. But it was my dad's birthday and I wanted to stay home and by there for him. If I would have known it would have been our last week together, I wouldn't have made that choice.
I did finally head out on Thursday August 13th. I got there just as you were getting out of school. You looked so tired and worn, yet so happy to see us. The room you had rented for that week wasn't as good as the one you had the previous week, but I know it was cheaper and you were trying to conserve money.
That night was rough. It was hot in that room. Was there even any air conditioning? I can't remember? I was so afraid Katrina would fall off that couch. She was hot and grumpy and cried pretty much the entire night. I tried my best to keep her quiet, but I know she kept you awake. I finally got her to sleep when you woke up. Why were you so frantic Danny? It scared me. I knew there was something wrong, but you wouldn't tell me. Instead you just held me and cried. Telling me over and over how much you loved and needed me.
And then you got up the next morning and got ready for school without waking me. I wanted to change the dressing around your surgical site and see how it was progressing, but you had already taken care of it.
I was a bad wife that day. It was hot in that room that I couldn't bear it. Neither could Katrina. So I packed her in the car and went shopping. I should have stayed there and cleaned the room and warmed you up something to eat for lunch. I saw the disappointment in your eyes when you came in and found that I hadn't done anything. I'm sorry.
But you weren't mad. Disappointed maybe, but not mad. And I'm not even sure if you were disappointed. You were upset. Upset over what I'll never know. Frantic again. Insisting that we call both you parents and mine before you had to go back to school. You were so upset when neither answered. All you wanted was to tell them (your parents) that you loved them. I think you knew something was about to happen. I think they knew though babe. Of course they knew, and they loved you too. Very much.
The ride back to school was strange. (well, it was awful actually, but at first it was strange until it turned awful) I remember me telling you that we were 15 minutes early and almost there and I was going to slow down so we could spend more time with each other. That's when you started telling me that you were leaving. That you had to go and you had to go soon. That you loved me and Trina with all your heart and no matter how far away you seemed all I would have to do was call out your name and you'd be there. That you would never leave me. "I have to go away ciners and I have to go soon, but please know that I love you and Trinket with all my heart and no matter how far away I seem all you have to do is call out my name and I'll be there. I will never leave you. I'll always be in your heart."
What does a person say to that? I didn't understand. I turned my head away from the traffic for a second to tell you to stop talking that way. But the look in your eyes was so troubled and filled with so much love that instead I touched your face and told you that I loved you. "I love you Danny. I love you so very much."
Maybe if I hadn't turned my head to touch and speak to you I might have seen that car in time. Maybe, just maybe you wouldn't be gone now. But I did turn my head and when I turned it back that car was already crossing the median. I tried to stop. I tried to swerve. I tried to scream out and tell you to put on your seat belt. But it was too late. I didn't even get the sentence out of my mouth before that car slammed into us.
When I woke up Katrina was in the car. I remember hearing her cry. I looked down at my knee and saw bare bone. The keys had dug so deeply into me that it totally tore out my knee cap. Blood. Blood was every where. My arm hurt. It hurt to breath. I called out for help and turned towards you. I remember seeing the windsheild first. It had the impression of your face in it three different times. Your skin, your hair and what looked like an eye. And then I saw you. You were hunched over the dashboard. Your body all twisted and more blood. Blood and glass. Glass and blood. I screamed and passed back out.
The next time I woke up Katrina was gone. There was a man at my window telling me it was going to be okay. He kept insisting that I look at him. He didn't want me to talk. He did all the talking. He was soft and reassuring. I thought of him as my angel. And then I heard a noise. I thought you were breathing. I turned to look and watched as you took your last breath and slumped deeper into the dash board.
Deep in my heart I knew you were gone, but my head wouldn't believe it. I begged the man at my window to help you. He kept telling me to look at him and I kept saying over and over again "please?" Finally the ambulance arrived. That was another nightmare. They came to you first. They were beating on your chest and I was screaming at them to stop. Finally they told someone to get me out of the car. Stupid perimedic told me to get up and walk. Sure. I have a busted knew and an arm that was limp and useless, but let me get up and walk to your ambulance. I think I called the man an idiot.
That's when my angel appeared again. He gently helped me out of the car and onto the waiting stretcher. But not before the other perimedics started talking about you being dead and that there was nothing more they could do. Oh boy did I get back into that car fast. Even with my leg and arm injured I came after those perimedics. How dare them say something like that with me right there? How dare them say that you were dead when I just heard you breath?
But you were dead. And I miss you so much today that I csan't stop crying . Silent tears though. If it weren't for the sniffling no one would even know. I'll keep the pain to myself this year. I suffer in silence. Only you will know how badly I hurt. And Gary. I think I might share it with Gary. Maybe.
I love you Daniel Craig Yager. I love you with all my heart and all my soul. You were not only my husband but you were my best friend. The best daddy katrina could ever ask for. The best son and the best brother. If you're up there in Heaven watching over me, please know that I love you. I have always loved you, and I always will. You will always be my husband, my friend, my love.
I wasn't there with you that week. I'll never forgive myself for that. But it was my dad's birthday and I wanted to stay home and by there for him. If I would have known it would have been our last week together, I wouldn't have made that choice.
I did finally head out on Thursday August 13th. I got there just as you were getting out of school. You looked so tired and worn, yet so happy to see us. The room you had rented for that week wasn't as good as the one you had the previous week, but I know it was cheaper and you were trying to conserve money.
That night was rough. It was hot in that room. Was there even any air conditioning? I can't remember? I was so afraid Katrina would fall off that couch. She was hot and grumpy and cried pretty much the entire night. I tried my best to keep her quiet, but I know she kept you awake. I finally got her to sleep when you woke up. Why were you so frantic Danny? It scared me. I knew there was something wrong, but you wouldn't tell me. Instead you just held me and cried. Telling me over and over how much you loved and needed me.
And then you got up the next morning and got ready for school without waking me. I wanted to change the dressing around your surgical site and see how it was progressing, but you had already taken care of it.
I was a bad wife that day. It was hot in that room that I couldn't bear it. Neither could Katrina. So I packed her in the car and went shopping. I should have stayed there and cleaned the room and warmed you up something to eat for lunch. I saw the disappointment in your eyes when you came in and found that I hadn't done anything. I'm sorry.
But you weren't mad. Disappointed maybe, but not mad. And I'm not even sure if you were disappointed. You were upset. Upset over what I'll never know. Frantic again. Insisting that we call both you parents and mine before you had to go back to school. You were so upset when neither answered. All you wanted was to tell them (your parents) that you loved them. I think you knew something was about to happen. I think they knew though babe. Of course they knew, and they loved you too. Very much.
The ride back to school was strange. (well, it was awful actually, but at first it was strange until it turned awful) I remember me telling you that we were 15 minutes early and almost there and I was going to slow down so we could spend more time with each other. That's when you started telling me that you were leaving. That you had to go and you had to go soon. That you loved me and Trina with all your heart and no matter how far away you seemed all I would have to do was call out your name and you'd be there. That you would never leave me. "I have to go away ciners and I have to go soon, but please know that I love you and Trinket with all my heart and no matter how far away I seem all you have to do is call out my name and I'll be there. I will never leave you. I'll always be in your heart."
What does a person say to that? I didn't understand. I turned my head away from the traffic for a second to tell you to stop talking that way. But the look in your eyes was so troubled and filled with so much love that instead I touched your face and told you that I loved you. "I love you Danny. I love you so very much."
Maybe if I hadn't turned my head to touch and speak to you I might have seen that car in time. Maybe, just maybe you wouldn't be gone now. But I did turn my head and when I turned it back that car was already crossing the median. I tried to stop. I tried to swerve. I tried to scream out and tell you to put on your seat belt. But it was too late. I didn't even get the sentence out of my mouth before that car slammed into us.
When I woke up Katrina was in the car. I remember hearing her cry. I looked down at my knee and saw bare bone. The keys had dug so deeply into me that it totally tore out my knee cap. Blood. Blood was every where. My arm hurt. It hurt to breath. I called out for help and turned towards you. I remember seeing the windsheild first. It had the impression of your face in it three different times. Your skin, your hair and what looked like an eye. And then I saw you. You were hunched over the dashboard. Your body all twisted and more blood. Blood and glass. Glass and blood. I screamed and passed back out.
The next time I woke up Katrina was gone. There was a man at my window telling me it was going to be okay. He kept insisting that I look at him. He didn't want me to talk. He did all the talking. He was soft and reassuring. I thought of him as my angel. And then I heard a noise. I thought you were breathing. I turned to look and watched as you took your last breath and slumped deeper into the dash board.
Deep in my heart I knew you were gone, but my head wouldn't believe it. I begged the man at my window to help you. He kept telling me to look at him and I kept saying over and over again "please?" Finally the ambulance arrived. That was another nightmare. They came to you first. They were beating on your chest and I was screaming at them to stop. Finally they told someone to get me out of the car. Stupid perimedic told me to get up and walk. Sure. I have a busted knew and an arm that was limp and useless, but let me get up and walk to your ambulance. I think I called the man an idiot.
That's when my angel appeared again. He gently helped me out of the car and onto the waiting stretcher. But not before the other perimedics started talking about you being dead and that there was nothing more they could do. Oh boy did I get back into that car fast. Even with my leg and arm injured I came after those perimedics. How dare them say something like that with me right there? How dare them say that you were dead when I just heard you breath?
But you were dead.
And I miss you so much today that I csan't stop crying . Silent tears though. If it weren't for the sniffling no one would even know. I'll keep the pain to myself this year. I suffer in silence. Only you will know how badly I hurt. And Gary. I think I might share it with Gary. Maybe. I love you Daniel Craig Yager. I love you with all my heart and all my soul. You were not only my husband but you were my best friend. The best daddy katrina could ever ask for. The best son and the best brother. If you're up there in Heaven watching over me, please know that I love you. I have always loved you, and I always will. You will always be my husband, my friend, my love.
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Katrina is leaving tomorrow for New York. She's so cute. She's (according to her facebook) dancing around the house singing "I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, I'm leaving for new York!" It reminds me of when she was a baby and you were working out of town. On Friday I would dance around the house with her and we would sing "Your daddy's coming home today, Daddy's coming home!"
Isn't it funny how the mind works that way? She doesn't remember. She was too young. But I know(and I can almost picture it) that she's dancing around the same way we used to and she's singing her song to the same tune we used to. Some part of her remembers even though she doesn't.
Anyhow, I asked her to walk to the cemetary and pick you some flowers along the way. I'm never sure if she does or not. I know the cemetary isn't her favorite place and she barely remembers you. She was just a baby. She does remember you from the stories I tell and sometimes I catch her singing "You are my Sunshine" which was the song you used to sing her and I'm pretty sure that you are in her head singing it to her. She just doesn't know. She was too young to remember your promise, but I do. I know that you'll never leave. And I know that sometimes your standing right there beside her singing your song and she unknowingly sings it with you.
Isn't it funny how the mind works that way? She doesn't remember. She was too young. But I know(and I can almost picture it) that she's dancing around the same way we used to and she's singing her song to the same tune we used to. Some part of her remembers even though she doesn't.
Anyhow, I asked her to walk to the cemetary and pick you some flowers along the way. I'm never sure if she does or not. I know the cemetary isn't her favorite place and she barely remembers you. She was just a baby. She does remember you from the stories I tell and sometimes I catch her singing "You are my Sunshine" which was the song you used to sing her and I'm pretty sure that you are in her head singing it to her. She just doesn't know. She was too young to remember your promise, but I do. I know that you'll never leave. And I know that sometimes your standing right there beside her singing your song and she unknowingly sings it with you.
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Is it really selfish of me Danny to have wanted you to live on in the eyes of our grandchildren? Maybe it's not selfishness, but it was hope. I always hoped to one day hold my grandchild and to be able to see a little Danny. *sigh* I guess if/when God wants for it to happen it'll happen. Although the doctors say there only a sliver of hope.
With that and everything else going on in life right now I feel like I'm barely making it through the days. I keep telling myself that life is hard but God is good. It helps some what, but I sure do wish he could be good to me. Just a little would be nice. I know, I know, I should count my blessings instead of the negatives. It's just a little hard right now. Let's see..........
1. Present husband is still out of work. Mortgage, car payments, electric, insurance is all behind. I'm trying my hardest to keep up with it all, but 2000 a month doesn't go far.
2. My dad fell and broke his hip. His altzeimers got really bad night before last and he threatened to beat up all the nurses, ripped his IV out and tried to get out of bed. He is now on lock down.
3. Your dad might have to have his other leg amputated. Hopefully the new medicine will work, but so far it hasn't.
4. Katrina can't have babies..............
5. And I want out of this marriage so bad that I can't stand it. I'm trying hard to keep focused on God and to do the right thing by staying. But with each day I stay I see a little more of myself slip away.
I know there are people who have more problems then me. I try hard to look at the good instead of the bad. I really do. I see the butterflies and I smile. My wild rabbit comes hopping up to me and eats out of my hand and it brings joy. I thank God for the cool weather we've had the past couple days. And I thank him that I have semi good health, a loving family, and a job to pay the bills I'm able to pay and to keep food in our bellies. I am grateful for the things that I have. At least I'm not out on the streets begging for food. Not yet anyhow.
I love you Danny. I love you bunches and bunches and groups and groups. *hugs* to you my love.
With that and everything else going on in life right now I feel like I'm barely making it through the days. I keep telling myself that life is hard but God is good. It helps some what, but I sure do wish he could be good to me. Just a little would be nice. I know, I know, I should count my blessings instead of the negatives. It's just a little hard right now. Let's see..........
1. Present husband is still out of work. Mortgage, car payments, electric, insurance is all behind. I'm trying my hardest to keep up with it all, but 2000 a month doesn't go far.
2. My dad fell and broke his hip. His altzeimers got really bad night before last and he threatened to beat up all the nurses, ripped his IV out and tried to get out of bed. He is now on lock down.
3. Your dad might have to have his other leg amputated. Hopefully the new medicine will work, but so far it hasn't.
4. Katrina can't have babies..............
5. And I want out of this marriage so bad that I can't stand it. I'm trying hard to keep focused on God and to do the right thing by staying. But with each day I stay I see a little more of myself slip away.
I know there are people who have more problems then me. I try hard to look at the good instead of the bad. I really do. I see the butterflies and I smile. My wild rabbit comes hopping up to me and eats out of my hand and it brings joy. I thank God for the cool weather we've had the past couple days. And I thank him that I have semi good health, a loving family, and a job to pay the bills I'm able to pay and to keep food in our bellies. I am grateful for the things that I have. At least I'm not out on the streets begging for food. Not yet anyhow.
I love you Danny. I love you bunches and bunches and groups and groups. *hugs* to you my love.
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I just don't know what to think anymore. Sometimes I think my life is so full of drama that people think I must make it up.
Husband left this morning. I think it was Wednesday of last week when I came home and he told me he was moving to TN to work with his brothers. Actually, he didn't even tell me it was with his brothers. I assumed it would be with his friend. It wasn't until Friday that I found out it would be with his brothers.
What I don't understand is why. Why is he moving 10-12 hours away to work a job that is barely over minimum wage when he could have stayed here and worked for McDonalds for the same? It doesn't make sense.
He tells me that he loves me and that it's me he's thinking of..........what? how? Maybe he should have thought about me a year ago when he originally lost his job and started looking then. And how is moving so far away (without me mind you) to work a low paying job with people who are pot heads going to make anything better? Like I said, I just don't understand.
And then there's my brother..............I was really concerned about him last week. He's gone totally off the deep end. Talking to ants and running away from invisible people. He's screaming one minute, crying the next and twirling around the next. Or he's frantic that "they" about to get him. But then I get told that I need to make sure I lock my doors and to not answer if he calls or comes knocking. That he's mad at me for telling all of them that mom was wanting to put our dad in a nursing home last year. Since I told them, I must have been in on it with her. So now I'm a back stabbing, lying whatever and the little voices in his head are telling him that I don't need to live anymore. I don't really think he can remember how to get out to my house, so I'm not too awfully worried, but still......It's crazy!
And my husband still left. He knows that my brother has gone crazy and he knows that he's threatened me, but he left anyhow. And he had to leave today! It was very important that he leave no later then today so that he can start work (at this low paying job) ASAP.
Now he calls and says that he's going to spend the night with his friend Chris and head out to his other friends house tomorrow and spend the night with him and then head on to his mom's house.
Am I being unreasonable or does this just not make sense?
Husband left this morning. I think it was Wednesday of last week when I came home and he told me he was moving to TN to work with his brothers. Actually, he didn't even tell me it was with his brothers. I assumed it would be with his friend. It wasn't until Friday that I found out it would be with his brothers.
What I don't understand is why. Why is he moving 10-12 hours away to work a job that is barely over minimum wage when he could have stayed here and worked for McDonalds for the same? It doesn't make sense.
He tells me that he loves me and that it's me he's thinking of..........what? how? Maybe he should have thought about me a year ago when he originally lost his job and started looking then. And how is moving so far away (without me mind you) to work a low paying job with people who are pot heads going to make anything better? Like I said, I just don't understand.
And then there's my brother..............I was really concerned about him last week. He's gone totally off the deep end. Talking to ants and running away from invisible people. He's screaming one minute, crying the next and twirling around the next. Or he's frantic that "they" about to get him. But then I get told that I need to make sure I lock my doors and to not answer if he calls or comes knocking. That he's mad at me for telling all of them that mom was wanting to put our dad in a nursing home last year. Since I told them, I must have been in on it with her. So now I'm a back stabbing, lying whatever and the little voices in his head are telling him that I don't need to live anymore. I don't really think he can remember how to get out to my house, so I'm not too awfully worried, but still......It's crazy!
And my husband still left. He knows that my brother has gone crazy and he knows that he's threatened me, but he left anyhow. And he had to leave today! It was very important that he leave no later then today so that he can start work (at this low paying job) ASAP.
Now he calls and says that he's going to spend the night with his friend Chris and head out to his other friends house tomorrow and spend the night with him and then head on to his mom's house.
Am I being unreasonable or does this just not make sense?
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I woke up this morning with an anger and a determination inside of me. No longer am I going to sit around and play door mat to a man who seems to only care about himself and his oldest daughter! It's my life darnit and I'm ready to live it!
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