A Confession

[MariaJLM]

What about Vespers? My priest holds confessions after Vespers and if people (like me) have to drive a long way, he'll do it before Liturgy also. He's pretty flexible. I'd communicate with your priest about it. It's good you have such respect for the Eucharist, but you also need to work with your priest.

I do try to attend Vespers since it's in the evening, thus more feasible for me. However, depression and stuff has been making even that difficult. I really am stuck in an endless cycle...

 

[The Faceless]

Are you able to force yourself to go once a month? Can your priest see you at home from time to time?

 

[FireDragon76]

That's another issue. I've been neglecting the Eucharist since it's been impossible for me to find a time to go to Confession. We usually do it before Liturgy, but because of the bus schedule the few times I do manage to make it to church I show up like thirty minutes in. I don't want to be one of those people that just shows up for communion and then leaves, especially when I haven't gone to recent Confession.

By chance, have you ever been told you have OCD? (which is not rare with Asperger's) I get the impression you might also be dealing with religious scrupulosity? Do you worry about doing everything the correct way?

I sometimes wonder if Orthodox ever have such a concept as scrupulosity, especially because the anthropology and soteriology are so different. I do remember I was very intense in my focus when I attended an Orthodox church as a catechumen. But this is one of those explicit things that a priest is not necessarily going to clue you into, that most ordinary people will just know intuitively- they aren't as literal and systematizing in their thinking. People on the autism spectrum can be very literal and when somebody tells us to do something, we take it extremely seriously.

 

[MariaJLM]

Are you able to force yourself to go once a month? Can your priest see you at home from time to time?

Considering my living situation I would not feel comfortable inviting a priest into my home.

 

[Stabat Mater dolorosa]

I'm far to messed up to give you any advice Maria, but I'll pray for you sister. May God bless you and the holy Theotokos guide you. Amen.

 

[ripple the car]

My church seems to be pretty cliquey. A lot of upper class and well-off people too it seems, thus I have nothing in common with them. That alone makes me want to stay home a lot as I feel like I'm constantly judged for being unemployed. It's not like I can say I'm on disability either since I'm not. It's very difficult to get accepted for it where I am.

As for hobbies, I'm a creative writer but not even that I'm able to enjoy much anymore. It just feels like a chore.

Maria, for what it's worth.... I also struggle with mental health issues, and depression. I am currently unable to attend an Apostolic Church, but do try to pray when I'm able.

I would reduce media time, Maria. Video games, secular music, etc. If unable to go out, try to make your room into a tiny convent, a place of prayer. Try to aim for getting to Liturgy at least once a month.

Just start there. Hang in there!

 

[ArmyMatt]

That's another issue. I've been neglecting the Eucharist since it's been impossible for me to find a time to go to Confession. We usually do it before Liturgy, but because of the bus schedule the few times I do manage to make it to church I show up like thirty minutes in. I don't want to be one of those people that just shows up for communion and then leaves, especially when I haven't gone to recent Confession.

personally, this is one spot where, given your unique situation, I think you might wanna talk to your priest. it's not like you are intentionally being late or avoiding confession.

 

[MariaJLM]

By chance, have you ever been told you have OCD? (which is not rare with Asperger's) I get the impression you might also be dealing with religious scrupulosity? Do you worry about doing everything the correct way?

I sometimes wonder if Orthodox ever have such a concept as scrupulosity, especially because the anthropology and soteriology are so different. I do remember I was very intense in my focus when I attended an Orthodox church as a catechumen. But this is one of those explicit things that a priest is not necessarily going to clue you into, that most ordinary people will just know intuitively- they aren't as literal and systematizing in their thinking. People on the autism spectrum can be very literal and when somebody tells us to do something, we take it extremely seriously.

Literalism is not an issue for me. I mean, I'm a writer so it actually baffles me when aspies can't understand metaphors and stuff. My writing is full of them. I think for me it's more so a drive to be the perfect Christian since I was deprived of it all my life. Something like that, it's hard to explain the exact feeling I have. There's certainly plenty of insecurities too which stem from plenty of trauma resulting from years of being bullied and emotionally abused.

 

[PittBullMom]

All I can think about while scrolled ng through the replies is...

Jesus is the closest to people like you. I'll always believe that. He knows you...everything about you. You have your struggles in the material physical world. That stuff passes away. Give him the best of your heart and mind. For free. Spiritual matters are forever and priceless. If you so much as simply sign the cross when you wake up or whenever...make room in your heart. Keep the faith and have patience. Just wait and see. He won't abandon you.

He also knows rich mentally stable people who go to church every Sunday too. We don't know their secrets or sins, or their hearts. So don't worry about that either.

Being poor with issues makes you no less then another whatsoever.