A CLEAN JOKE THREAD

[Lazarus Short]

Q: Who is that girl in the middle of the tennis court?







A: Annette.

 

[Akita Suggagaki]

How do you know if a vampire has Covid?

From his coffin.

 

[returntosender]

How do you know if a vampire has Covid?

From his coffin.

BOO HISS, lol

 

[Akita Suggagaki]

BOO HISS, lol

I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with but I have been tripping all say.

 

[returntosender]

I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with but I have been tripping all day.

Okay, that's better, lol.

 

[Bob Crowley]

 

[returntosender]

So cute and funny!

 

[tulc]

Can someone help me out please? I know Henry VIII had 6 wives. There was Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Anne of Cleves, Catherine Howard, Catherine Parr, but for the life of me I can’t remember the surname of Jane... See More

 

[Bob Crowley]

I thought it was Jane Seymour - same name as the actress.

Jane Seymour - Wikipedia

#1. Wife - "Not tonight darling, I have a headache" - Henry VIII "Not to worry love, we'll soon sort that out"

#2. After double doors had to be installed in the castle to allow for Henry VIII's massive frame, he was no longer the same man who enjoyed playing his horn or teaching his kids.

He was a two-door tooter Tudor too dour to tutor

 

[Bob Crowley]

 

[tulc]

There is probably a porcelain or metal basin for holding water outside your front door right now.
Let that sink in.

 

[tulc]

if everyone in the USA started driving pink autos would we be a pink carnation?

 

[Lazarus Short]

if everyone in the USA started driving pink autos would we be a pink carnation?

Only if we are all wearing white sport coats...

 

[tulc]

 

[Bob Crowley]

I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with but I have been tripping all say.

The barber round the corner was in the news. He'd been arrested for drug dealing.

We've been customers for eight years.

We didn't even know he was a barber.

 

[Lazarus Short]

What is the scariest thing to read in braille? "Do not touch."

 

[Bob Crowley]

Our local ice cream man was found dead in his van yesterday. He was covered in maple syrup and crushed nuts.

The police believe that he topped himself.

 

[Daniel Marsh]

Two monsters went to a Halloween party. One said to the other, “Hey Frank, a lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?” The other monster replied, “Be a gentleman and roll them back over to her.

Where is my pinesol to clean my glasses?

 

[tulc]

Famous actors with their stunt doubles:

tulc(thought this was pretty funny)

 

[returntosender]

Only if we are all wearing white sport coats...

thanks for that otherwise I wouldn't have gotten tulcs joke, ahahahahaha