6 year mark

[ComesoonmyLORD]

January 31st will be 6 years. 6 years since the day my world changed and was turned down. Lately I've been hung up on the thought of what people will think of me when I'm gone. Will they say I've been a faithful christian, will they say I've been a good father. Sometimes I think so, sometimes I think not. Christ is my Lord and Savior, I know that, but I also want to be a good father, to raise our children to be faithful christians, responsible in society. Ginger was always my confidence, the one to tell me when I was doing good and the one to tell me when I needed to do different. I miss her!

 

[blackribbon]

Jan 27th will be my 3 year mark.

Your job is to guide your children but only they get to choose God. The best way for this to happen is to model the behavior you want them to have and be on your knees for their souls. I suspect that you are doing just fine in this area.

It is so hard to be "only" parents. There is no one to pat our back when we have done well. There is no one to tell "cute stories" to about them. There is no one to encourage us when we face the hard times that are a normal part of parenthood.

I don't have any answers but I do know how you are feeling. I am sure you are doing the very best that you can...and no one can ask any more of you. The truth is that is all your wife ever did too...just the best she could.

Don't waste energy worrying about what others think of you. You need to just be the kind of person that your wife knew/knows you are...and be the person that can stand before God with a clean conscious when it is time to see your Ginger again and meet your Savior. After that, it does not matter what anyone else ever thinks.

I wish you hugs and send you figurative snorkel gear so that you can survive even when the waters seem to go over your head. You are not alone in this fight and you can do it. You have little ones that need you to keep fighting.

 

[NoelAsa]

January 31st will be 6 years. 6 years since the day my world changed and was turned down. Lately I've been hung up on the thought of what people will think of me when I'm gone. Will they say I've been a faithful christian, will they say I've been a good father. Sometimes I think so, sometimes I think not. Christ is my Lord and Savior, I know that, but I also want to be a good father, to raise our children to be faithful christians, responsible in society. Ginger was always my confidence, the one to tell me when I was doing good and the one to tell me when I needed to do different. I miss her!

The anninversaries are the hardest. They are different for each of us. Some people like to be alone and reflect while others want to keep busy. Whatever it is that you need I hope that you take the time to take care of yourself. Don't worry what other people think about you. The only one that is of real concern is God. He knows us best and what is in our hearts.

 

[ComesoonmyLORD]

In my heart I know what you are saying is the truth, it's still hard sometimes though. I know that someday I'll stand before our Lord and know that I am truly doing the best that I can. There are some points in life that lift me up though. My oldest son called last night to say he wants to change his college major. He wants to major in bible and become a youth minister. All praises to Him.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

It will be 7 years for me on the 23rd of January.

We can only do so much. Praise God for your son wanting to change his major. My oldest is almost 18 and just this Christmas told me he doesn't think he believes in God anymore because God wasn't helping him with his life. And think about many preacher's kids that grow up pretty much in the church and sometimes they too fall away. We can only give them the tools but they have to make the decision on their own. I hope my son, changes his thoughts and I pray for him everyday. That's all I can do.

And all you can do is what you are doing. God knows our hearts and He is our comfort when we are weak even when we don't feel He is even there, He is.

 

[ComesoonmyLORD]

Thanks MBM. I know you are correct.

 

[Mazvita]

I think you are the best father. Keep on asking for wisdom and guidance from God and He will carry you through. Thanks for appreciating you wife even after she is gone. Remain faithful and true to God and it will be well with you

 

[Christianwidow]

January 31st will be 6 years. 6 years since the day my world changed and was turned down. Lately I've been hung up on the thought of what people will think of me when I'm gone. Will they say I've been a faithful christian, will they say I've been a good father. Sometimes I think so, sometimes I think not. Christ is my Lord and Savior, I know that, but I also want to be a good father, to raise our children to be faithful christians, responsible in society. Ginger was always my confidence, the one to tell me when I was doing good and the one to tell me when I needed to do different. I miss her!

January 28th will be 11 years that the love of my life went Home to be with the Lord. As one that has gone through the time of mourning, the days, weeks, months, years of loneliness, the days, weeks, months, years of missing him so much my heart seemed to just ache unbearably, my Saviour walked me through it. I am on the other side now. I can praise the Lord for days of having a joyful heart and not just days of getting me through "another day of emptiness". As one that has experienced what you are going through, I can say "it will get better". You will be able to go on. You will be able to get up in the morning with joy in your heart, even though your precious love is not with you. It takes time. I know this is easier said then done, but it is true. The answer is to put your eyes on Christ and let Him do the healing, which is what you are doing.

May you have a wonderful day in the Lord.

Christian Widow

 

[c1ners]

August 14 will be 25 years for me and I still miss him everyday.
I'm sure you're doing the best you can CSML. From your picture there it looks like you have a very happy, well adjusted family. I know you miss your Ginger. I miss my Danny too. But it does get easier. That loniless sometimes never goes away completely, but it does get easier.

We were out of town when I lost my husband. We were in a car accident. I was in the hospital when they had his funeral. I never got a chance to tell him good-bye. Because of that there was a part of me that refused to let go. What I finally did last year (yes, I know, it took me long enough huh? ) was collect the stuff of his that I had been saving and holding dear. I wrapped it all up and put it in a big box. I then went out to my back yard and dug a hole, buried the box, and had a funeral for him. It was just me and our daughter (who was just a baby when he died). As I put everything into the box I would show her what it was and tell her why it was so special. I had pictures of her and her daddy, an old sweatshirt of his that I slept in during the winter months (or when I missed him something terribly), a necklace he bought me for our 1st Christmas and things like that. We both laughed and we both cried. But more importantly, we both got a chance to say good bye to the man who has always had the biggest part of my heart. When we were done with the burial we let go one balloon for every year he's been gone.

I'm not sure why I'm telling you this. I guess I was lead to. Anyhow, I understand your pain and I hope that one day you'll be able to remember Ginger and smile instead of cry. hugs

 

[Christianwidow]

August 14 will be 25 years for me and I still miss him everyday.
I'm sure you're doing the best you can CSML. From your picture there it looks like you have a very happy, well adjusted family. I know you miss your Ginger. I miss my Danny too. But it does get easier. That loniless sometimes never goes away completely, but it does get easier.

We were out of town when I lost my husband. We were in a car accident. I was in the hospital when they had his funeral. I never got a chance to tell him good-bye. Because of that there was a part of me that refused to let go. What I finally did last year (yes, I know, it took me long enough huh? ) was collect the stuff of his that I had been saving and holding dear. I wrapped it all up and put it in a big box. I then went out to my back yard and dug a hole, buried the box, and had a funeral for him. It was just me and our daughter (who was just a baby when he died). As I put everything into the box I would show her what it was and tell her why it was so special. I had pictures of her and her daddy, an old sweatshirt of his that I slept in during the winter months (or when I missed him something terribly), a necklace he bought me for our 1st Christmas and things like that. We both laughed and we both cried. But more importantly, we both got a chance to say good bye to the man who has always had the biggest part of my heart. When we were done with the burial we let go one balloon for every year he's been gone.

I'm not sure why I'm telling you this. I guess I was lead to. Anyhow, I understand your pain and I hope that one day you'll be able to remember Ginger and smile instead of cry. hugs

Simply beautiful, c1ners. Thank you so much for sharing with us.

Christian Widow

 

[ComesoonmyLORD]

c1ners- thanks for that. You are correct, there are material things of Ginger's that I hold very dear. I too have a night shirt that she slept in for years. I always thought it was a little strange that I had it, it's good to hear someone else does/did the same thing, lol. A lot of days it's my security blanket I guess. I would always ball it up in my arms to sleep. I still find myself having conversations with her while I'm driving home from work. It was common for us to talk on the cellphone when I got off work everyday. Now I just drive and talk to her (without the phone, lol) and just wave when I see someone starring at this insane guy talking to himself in the car, lol. I do lean on my Savior, everyday. And everyday He is there. It is becoming easier to Press On!

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Shortly after my husband passed, one of my co workers asked me if I had any of his clothes still. She told me she wanted to make me a quilt and to pick out some of my favorite pieces including jeans and she would make me one. So I did and THAT has been my security blanket. It is just the right weight and she did an excellent job on it and I kept it on my bed for a very long time. It got a little worn and I didn't want to wear it out, so now it sits on the back of a chair I have in my room. It is 7 years TODAY that my husband went to be with the Lord. On my nightstand and on the walls are still pictures of him. In the living room still hangs the collage I made for his funeral. Not much has changed in respect to that. I haven't had anyone else in my life (and even if I did) I see no reason to box him up and put him away. I did put the clothes that I couldn't part with (only a few) in a chest that is in my dining room. My son occasionally goes in there to grab a tie for an occasion. I also wear his wedding ring with a ring he gave me that is his birthstone together every day. I don't think it's weird and I don't care if someone else does. He was my husband for 25 years and my kid's dad. He is gone but not forgotten. I wish he was here but he is not, and he is far better off than I. Someday I will see him again in eternity. Until that time I will love God and try to be the best me I can be. That's all I got.