30+ and single and loving it!

[NewLight04]

hey all you single pals, what do you think of being single and in your thirties. I know you may think this should go in the single ministry but I wanted to talk with my fellow christian who are in their thirties! Please post your thoughts!

 

[Lycana]

I'm single at 37 and NOT loving it. It's not really fun I think. Are there any out there who do?

 

[tiradas]

I love it!! I guess I can't imagine being married. Not sure that I ever want to!

 

[Lycana]

Well, at least you are happy

 

[tiradas]

Well, at least you are happy

Have you been married in the past?

 

[CountryLady]

I'm 39, a widow, I'm staying single.

 

[Lycana]

Have you been married in the past?

No, never been

 

[tiradas]

No, never been

Me either.

 

[BarbaraJean]

I'm 39, a widow, I'm staying single.

So young to be widowed. My mom was only 33 when she lost my dad to cancer.

 

[Niels]

It's Ok, considering I'd greatly prefer to remain single than in a dysfunctional relationship. Sure the emotional and physical desire is there (and won't let me forget it!), but those things would likely make me miserable without the right woman. That said, for whatever its worth with regard to this thread, I've never even had a serious girlfriend.

 

[isaiah53five]

Single and loving every minute of it!!!!!

 

[Cherberrie]

Single, had planned to be married this year but the relationship ended in May. I thought it would be bad, but I have a peace about where I am. I'm loving it, spending time with my family and friends and enjoying the things being single has to offer, like not having to clean up after anyone.

If it's God's will for me to be married and have a family, it'll happen in His time. Until then, I can focus on the career change I'm making and get settled in that, which will definitely be a benefit if and when the family thing happens.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

married at 22, divorce was final 3 days before 24th b-day. Been single since and have no plans or desire to enter into another painful, abusive, dysfunctional relationship! However, what really ticks me off til I see red is the fact that this long-ago mistake is STILL brought up at least 5 times a year by at least one or two family members. WHY???? We did NOT have children and I took my maiden name back. For all intense and purposes it's like the nightmare never happened. Why can't my stupid family let it go? My step-grandmother (who lives in the past anyway) made it a point to ask me if I knew where he (the ex) was when I saw her this past week. Supposedly one of his friends worked on her car and asked her about me. Then a couple of months ago, my sister told me about running into the ex at his place of work and that he supposedly asked about me. I have two words for these people: WHO CARES?????!?!?!?!

Sorry....got off topic with my vent. I was hoping in a roundabout way it was related though....I'm in my 30's and single and love it more than anything I could have experienced staying in that joke of a marriage. I don't like divorce and the ex was the one to initiate it. I would have stuck it out if he'd wanted to just because it's the Biblical thing to do. All I know is that experience soured me to the very idea of marriage and I have to say that all of the worldy, sick behaviours of people I know also make me leery of relationships in general. I've become numb to those emotions and am actually glad of it. I just wish those 'who care about me' would get it through their thick skulls that I am doing fine!

 

[Stanfi]

I think there are positives and negatives about being single.

I enjoy the lack of responsiblity of not have a family to take of. I also like the financial freedom that I have! Oh, and the ability to do what I want when I want.

However, it would be nice to have someone to share the events of life with. Since, I have never been in a serious relationship, I think one day I would like to try one to see if I would like it or not. I may be to old and 'stuck in my ways' to enjoy it, and realize I have had it made all along!

 

[Jewelsinga]

I am in my 30's & single....I am making the best of the single situation (church, travel, great job, decorating my home, awesome friends, pursuing another degree), however - if I had another option, I would love to be married with children at this point. I'm not depressed or anxious, but rather would like to be working towards building a family. As singles, we have no other choice but to stay busy. That's what I do to not focus on the fact that "it" has not happened for me YET. I desire to be married,....SOON!!!!

 

[brizyboy]

I will have a go at resurrecting this thread. Hmmm, is it just me or is the Singles Ministry thread full of early 20's (or younger) whose rose-coloured glasses haven't been shattered by reality yet?

I feel torn between enjoying singledom and wanting a partner. :o I look forward to coming home from work everyday to do stuff that I enjoy doing - which is mostly stuff that can only be done alone. But my experiences in (serious) relationships have been this huge time-eating monster, that is never satisfied.

I don't know if I've been unlucky in striking puppy-dogs that don't want to leave my side (which is nice for a while), or if I'm just too self-centred (which was the accusation of my most recent ex?). (Bit of background - this was despite lunching at least twice a week, and spending most of Sat and Sun with her / her family. With my other committments, there wasn't much ME- time.)

Any similar experiences / thoughts?

 

[Deliberatetourist]

As pointed out there are positives and negatives to being single. If you are a person who desires physical/emotional intimacy however the single lifestyle will never be satisfying to you. I was married for 8.5 years. There are times when my want of affection goes into overdrive and there is no one around to satisfy it. And no amount of running, exercise, or fooling around with some animal is going to make any difference. I dont understand how people in their 30's can say they love being single. I only accept that they do. Most of the guys I knew that were my age who trumpeted ther singles lifestyle from the rooftops had consistent sexual relationships on the side.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

As pointed out there are positives and negatives to being single. If you are a person who desires physical/emotional intimacy however the single lifestyle will never be satisfying to you. There are times when my want of affection goes into overdrive and there is no one around to satisfy it. And no amount of running, exercise, or fooling around with some animal is going to make any difference. Most of the guys I knew that were my age who trumpeted ther singles lifestyle from the rooftops had consistent sexual relationships on the side.

Truth be told, that could be said of men or women. I think women are mostly more 'quiet' about it because of stereotypes that it's more 'okay' for men to be the horny toads. Oddly enough, most of the single guys I know claim that physical intimacy is not important to them (I dunno if they are lying and really discreet or what?!).


Despite my earlier rant in this thread I have similar feelings as brizyboy...torn between the single life and wanting a partner. I would say in my case that most of it stems from wanting intimacy. I would be lying if I said otherwise. I guess I'm weird for a female.

 

[WannaWitness]

The way I see it is this: the world puts too much pressure on whether or not one is married by a certain age. Sometimes people have been known to make remarks about unmarried people that are actually quite cruel and unfair.

My thoughts? Well, if and when the right man comes along, I will know it. Right now, I'm quite happy, thank you very much!

 

[brizyboy]

Truth be told, that could be said of men or women. I think women are mostly more 'quiet' about it because of stereotypes that it's more 'okay' for men to be the horny toads. Oddly enough, most of the single guys I know claim that physical intimacy is not important to them (I dunno if they are lying and really discreet or what?!).


Despite my earlier rant in this thread I have similar feelings as brizyboy...torn between the single life and wanting a partner. I would say in my case that most of it stems from wanting intimacy. I would be lying if I said otherwise. I guess I'm weird for a female.

I don't know that you're on your own with your opinion as a woman. Since high school, I have always seemed to relate better with girls than guys, and about 8 years ago used to hang out with about 5 girls all weekend, every weekend (three are now married). I reckon this has given me some interesting insights that most guys wouldn't get!. And especially in the last 10 years in society, I have seen women MUCH more open about simply wanting physical "interludes", as much as guys.

But society generally accepts male promsicuity (especially bragging) much better than from the other direction. Unfair perhaps, but that's the real world. So just because women don't talk about it as much (perhaps) doesn't mean that they don't secretly desire the same intimacy.

And everyone is different - some people really don't like much physical affection. One of my love languages is "touch", the other is "words of affirmation". I don't know many guys that are like that! But strangely enough, I can't find many females to match me - the stereotype says that girls like being cuddled and talking with a guy. Go figure?