21, mom don't accept boyfriend, should I move out?

[SOFT_ANGEL]

I am 21. I never had a boyfriend before. My parents have always overprotected me by not letting me have any contact with the opposite sex. I spent so long without guys contact that I spent 4 years in depression thinking that I was lesbian because I had feelings for some girls in high school and never fell for a guy before. My family wasn't here for me and I tried to kill myself several times. But now that I am in college, I met some guys and I started to have crushes and realized that its a different feeling and that I am not actually gay. During this moment that I started to talk to guys, my mom started to become closer and ask a lot of questions about my guy friends. But I realized that whenever I liked someone and wanted to give them a chance, she always found a reason why and told me that I like guys too much, I am promiscuous and all.

5 months ago I met this christian african guy who really likes me. He's too years younger than me. 19 and I am 21. I would like to give him a chance and when I told my mom she started to srceam at me with anger all the time, she came to the point of beating me up over that and told me that If I accept to be his girlfriend that he won't be welcomed at home. But this guy is like my bestfriend, I got mad after this last fight which happens a couple days ago, than I said yes to the guy. My mom says that she doesn't like him because he's african and he's lazy (because he likes to play and go out all the time and take few classes with not that good grades) ) and he doesn't have a job yet. I like him because he's a christians with good manners, he's willing to wait for marriage to have sex, is playful, don't smoke or drink, makes me happy, really likes me plus he said that he will look for a job and applied for more classes. At my college we need to work in other to gain practice hours before we able to graduate. So I am 2 years in advanced because I work at school better and faster. Even though he started only 1 semester after me. My dad was killed last year so my mom would like to remarry and live her life, so she told me that she won't be able to keep me here for too long and I have to get married fast with 3-4 years and have kids and that this christian guy won't be able to marry me that soon so I should find someone else. My mom makes my life impossible since and keeps on treating to kick me out of the house. WHO SHOULD I CHOOSE!? WHAT SHOULD I DO? WHAT WOULD BE A CHRISTIAN WAY OF SOLVING THIS ISSUE? SHOULD I MOVE OUT AND GET A STUDIO SINCE I JUST GOT A JOB AND STAY WITH HIM? OR SHOULD I LIVE HIM AFTER A WEEK RELATIONSHIP AND LIVE WITH MY MOM? PLEASE HELP ANYONE! I am feeling so depressed from this situation.

 

[thisguynamednick]

With all due respect to your mother, you're at the point now where the guy you may love, moving out, marriage, etc., etc...well, those are your dealings. He doesn't sound like bad news at all, and you look like you and him both are going in good directions. The thing that bothered me, though, was the part about her coming to the point of beating you up over it. If you meant this as in literally/physically, then that's all the more reason to unconditionally take further charge of your direction. If not literally, well, I still stand by the previous suggestion. I know she probably thinks it's for your protection, and it is going to be rough getting her to accept you and the guy you mentioned, or she may continue not to understand...but just don't be too discouraged to follow the path you think you need to, is all I'm really saying. Persevere, keep your head up, love the one you love, and if you feel you should move and you have the capability to provide for yourself and whatnot, then that's your call to make. Your mom may not like it, and maybe what I'm suggesting isn't entirely Christian, but again, he doesn't seem bad at all, you've both got good things going in regards to school/work. I don't see the long or short-term damage.