You at least recognise the fact that you are ill, you know you should not feel the way you do and you know you will eventually overcome those feelings one day.
Pretty sure I will never reconcile with my own inevitable death, and that I will die "kicking and screaming" like over 10% of people do.
Depression is a terrible thing and it's one of the worst disorders to overcome but people do overcome it every day, the understanding that everything dies means you should be no more worried about it than any other living thing, it might not be much consolation but there are about six or seven billion people living on this planet and 95% of them are a lot worse off than you and me.
Pretty sure every living thing with the capacity to have thoughts, and even some that arguably don't, fear death. A lot. Also, mentioning that there are people that are worse off than me doesn't make me feel better; it makes me feel bad for feeling bad.
I am very lucky because of where I live, I live in a part of the UK know as the 'Cotswolds'*, it's full of very old villages and virtually every one of them has a village pub, there is nothing nicer than to sit outside (as long as it's not raining) or inside if it is raining and have a half of beer and let your cares just drift away, they say you never notice things that are on your doorstep well it's true, I only started to drive around some of the other villages when my local village pub was closed for a month to make it structurally sound, it needed work because it was built around 1550 so it's starting to show it's age now.
My generalized anxiety related to autism means I am literally incapable of never feeling worried except when I sleep, and my severe ADHD takes precedence for treatment, so my anxiety cannot be treated and my ADHD treatment makes it worse.
* The Cotswolds is a rural area of south central England covering parts of 6 counties, notably Gloucestershire and Oxfordshire. Its rolling hills and grassland harbour thatched medieval villages, churches and stately homes built of distinctive local yellow limestone.
For Americans who have trouble pronouncing English county names,
Gloucestershire is pronounced = Glosstersher
Oxfordshire is pronounced = Oxfudsher
Worcestershire is pronounced = Wusstersher.
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. I always end up laughing when I see people from the United Kingdom complain about how people in the United States don't pronounce things right. It's fully intentional; after the country was founded, delegates decided that to distance themselves from their British origins by changing up the meanings, pronunciations, and spellings/rules of multiple words, so that future generations of U.S. citizens wouldn't sound British. The founders of the country made their own English dialect, like a 1700s middle finger that remains to this day, and actually continues to annoy the people it was intended to insult.
Glow-chest-er-shy-er
Ox-ford-shy-er
War-chest-er-shy-er
With variations depending on what part of the country you are in. This one applies mostly to the Midwest, which is where I have been in that country the most.
You'll also often find both the pronunciations and spellings in American English tend to be easier than United Kingdom English, with some exceptions. To try to stay away from bias, I recommend getting a person that has English as their second language to try it out for you, given that you are very used to speaking and writing one way.
Out of curiosity, how do you think these U.S. counties are supposed to be pronounced?
VanBuren
Allegan
Auglaize
Ashtabula
De Kalb
Tippecanoe