To the men, how important is your dating partner's career/job?

I would have a problem if she made more money than me. There are no male ego issues there.

As for a low-paying job, I think it would depend on what the job is and the circumstances that led her to having that job. Generally speaking, I'm probably not all that likely to meet someone in a dead-end job, so it would tend to be that it's a job that she's got some sort of passion about that just doesn't pay particularly well, and I don't think that would be issue as long as she still makes enough to support herself. If she's relying on other people to meet her expenses then I would probably be reluctant to get involved with her as I wouldn't want to be thrust into the role of provider from the outset.

MehGuy said:

I don't know, if she comes home covered in blood everyday I might have a problem.

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I'm with you on that as it would make me rather concerned about her lack of hygiene standards.

blackribbon said:

When I was first single, I think a lot of men saw me as a "burden" because I didn't work initially after my husband died. They somehow thought that was a permanent status even though I said it was only until my kids adjusted to their dad's death (I didn't want to introduce too many changes onto two already traumatized kids) and I figured out what I was going to do with my life. Now, I think I see men perk up when they learn I am a nurse because people see that as a "successful" female job and one that makes decent money. Who I am hasn't changed...only my job has. Honestly, I had more to contribute before I became a nurse because the job kind of hardens a person. (I am starting to see why most nurses don't tell anyone what they do.)

Anyway, how much does a women's education, job, or career path influence how attractive or dateable they are. Assuming the job wasn't immoral or illegal, would you not date a woman who had a low paying dead-end type? What about woman who had a more powerful job or made more money than you did?

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The job or career doesn't matter as much as her priorities. Does she value advancement over me? Is she so career-minded that she brings home an attitude which is advantageous in her industry but disrespectful and destructive to me and any children we might have? What lifestyle does she expect, how much will we depend on her income? If she decides to become a stay-at-home mom, will she strain under a lifestyle that isn't as lavish, or will she leave large debts unpaid?
And on the low-end of the income scale - is she in that job because she can't find anything else right now, or because she is not competent to do anything else? I like intelligent women.

A career would not be of high importance to me about her but I'd want her to enjoy what she does. I am now traveling a lot for my work being freelance and while it's good money, I'm no longer home very much. I'd hope she has one at least and likes it

I've changed my mind on this one. When I was younger, I used to not care. Now I'd like someone whose as ambitious as I am and is good with her own finances.

EazyMack said:

Must not be of unwholesome persuasion.

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No metermaids?

blackribbon said:

What is an "unwholesome" persuation? Those often are the jobs that pay the best if a woman is trying to pay for college or just get ahead financially. So what about a waitress who has to wear a skimpy uniform in a sports bar/restaurant?

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Unwholesome persuasions would be hookers and strippers, and a lot of "women" use those professions to pay their way through college, too.

blackribbon said:

So what about a waitress who has to wear a skimpy uniform in a sports bar/restaurant?

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No thanks.

Sketcher said:

No metermaids?

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Only if we take her car!

Interesting topic to bump.

.Mikha'el. said:

It is important to me that she has a job. I'm not interested in someone who's a career housewife.

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Same.. I grew up in a household like that. It's just too ripe for abuse.

Sketcher said:

The job or career doesn't matter as much as her priorities. Does she value advancement over me? Is she so career-minded that she brings home an attitude which is advantageous in her industry but disrespectful and destructive to me and any children we might have? What lifestyle does she expect, how much will we depend on her income? If she decides to become a stay-at-home mom, will she strain under a lifestyle that isn't as lavish, or will she leave large debts unpaid?
And on the low-end of the income scale - is she in that job because she can't find anything else right now, or because she is not competent to do anything else? I like intelligent women.

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My opinion remains the same.

How much she makes doesn't matter as much as how much she spends, and what kind of wife and mother she is. If she's a bad wife and mother, bringing in more money will not make up for any of that.

In these hypothetical situations, I think her job would be important.

Important she has one because mine is not high-paying enough to support two people or more. I'll never be a high-earner. I don't possess the skills, the technical prowess, or the opportunities to have a 6-figure salary.

Important she likes her job. If she gets flaky and quits thinking she's going to live off of me - we're going to go hungry.

Important she has a life outside the home and has friends. For me, that always means she'll be around people who will convince her to leave me, but a person does need a view different than the 4 walls of the house.

I like the idea of housewife or part-time job. Not sure why women seem to be so opposed to it. I guess it'd be up to her, I certainly wouldn't demand it.

In terms of marriage, her career matters to me to the extent that it helps or hinders our relationship. If we want to save a little extra, or need the money, then both of us working sounds like a good idea. If she's a cut-throat corporate executive, however, that's a red flag. I'd rather not come home to a "boss", when I only tolerate bosses in the workplace if they're paying me. Likewise, I feel the same about anyone who is working for me. It's a business arrangement, a matter of convenience, not a love relationship or how somebody is defined in an existential sense. In this way, I am an egalitarian.

Examples of careers that can be a good fit: Teacher, artist, scientist, somebody who works with animals, editor, and service occupations.

Whether she earns more or less doesn't matter to me. We have other things to think about, like what colors to paint the rooms in our house, which toppings to order on pizza, and whatever hobbies or interests we're investing our time in. If she's easily impressed by money, or looks down on others because they have less, then our personalities are going to clash.

Some careers that are more likely to be problematic: Flight attendant, lawyer, police officer, business manager.

Why? If it's a job that includes a lot of traveling, highly dangerous situations, or anything that requires a severe or pugnacious personality, she's probably not the one for me.

Regarding housewives, I think the woman staying home is ideal when raising children. I'd rather our kids be with their mom, one of the awesomest people in the universe, than stuck in daycare. In this way, I'm a traditionalist.

If we don't have kids, however, then we can be DINKs. (Dual Income No Kids)

Sketcher said:

No metermaids?

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But Rita is a lovely girl! (Beatles reference)

blackribbon said:

When I was first single, I think a lot of men saw me as a "burden" because I didn't work initially after my husband died. They somehow thought that was a permanent status even though I said it was only until my kids adjusted to their dad's death (I didn't want to introduce too many changes onto two already traumatized kids) and I figured out what I was going to do with my life. Now, I think I see men perk up when they learn I am a nurse because people see that as a "successful" female job and one that makes decent money. Who I am hasn't changed...only my job has. Honestly, I had more to contribute before I became a nurse because the job kind of hardens a person. (I am starting to see why most nurses don't tell anyone what they do.)

Anyway, how much does a women's education, job, or career path influence how attractive or dateable they are. Assuming the job wasn't immoral or illegal, would you not date a woman who had a low paying dead-end type? What about woman who had a more powerful job or made more money than you did?

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Its important not to judge based on outward things. That said I know for me I want someone who can pull their own weight or at least has a reason not to be. Someone who isn't working because they are lazy is different than a person who isn't working becuase they have a health condition.

Similarlly I need someone i can have engaging conversations with, so they need to be somewhat well read about similar topics as me, but they should also have their own hobbies. Maybe being well read came from going to university but it doesn't have to.