- Jul 21, 2021
- 2
- 1
- 37
- Country
- United Kingdom
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Married
This is the situation. I have decided I need to answer to God, not my mother and not my husband.
So I would like some advice:
- Husband doesn't get on with my mother - she was unfair to him prior to us getting married but has been lovely ever since.
- Husband is atheist.
- I get on with my in laws.
- Mother lives 5 mins away and I often have her over when he is at work. I feel a bit reluctant to have her over when he is here. He is full time/ I am part time. Main reason is - he isn't ok with it. This hurts my mother. A couple of times he didn't actually bother to say hello.
- His family are visiting us for 3 days. FIL probably has 6 months to live. I didn't know they were coming for 3/7 and I had plans but will work around them and re-arrange my plans.
- My mother is now very hurt that they can visit us and we both have a good relationship with them but that she can't visit freely.
- When I ask husband "so is it ok if my mum pops in from time to time - not all the time but sometimes" he says "I dunno" which isn't really an answer. Then he gets mad at me for "starting an arguement".
- He has said in the past that my mother has a big house and lives 5 mins away and could visit when he is out because thats mon/ tues afternoon, wed any time during the day, friday any time during the day. But of course she feels hurt that she can't come freely at other times. She wouldn't come all the time tbh anyway.
So what do I do?
Do I just invite my mother over whenever I want (occasionally at weekends) until he decides to be direct and work out a solution that suits both of us - because he says "I dunno" and hasn't bothered to be direct. I feel really awkward doing so.
My mother doesn't want to speak to me because she knows in laws are coming for 3 days and I am making time for them but husband is not prepared to make time for her. What do I do about that?
What do I do about my husband's attitude towards my mother?
I do feel frustrated because I am an only child. My mum has her flaws but she has had a hard life. I wish I had my husband's support here (out of love for me) but it feels like I don't. In every other way he is a good husband.
Thanks
So I would like some advice:
- Husband doesn't get on with my mother - she was unfair to him prior to us getting married but has been lovely ever since.
- Husband is atheist.
- I get on with my in laws.
- Mother lives 5 mins away and I often have her over when he is at work. I feel a bit reluctant to have her over when he is here. He is full time/ I am part time. Main reason is - he isn't ok with it. This hurts my mother. A couple of times he didn't actually bother to say hello.
- His family are visiting us for 3 days. FIL probably has 6 months to live. I didn't know they were coming for 3/7 and I had plans but will work around them and re-arrange my plans.
- My mother is now very hurt that they can visit us and we both have a good relationship with them but that she can't visit freely.
- When I ask husband "so is it ok if my mum pops in from time to time - not all the time but sometimes" he says "I dunno" which isn't really an answer. Then he gets mad at me for "starting an arguement".
- He has said in the past that my mother has a big house and lives 5 mins away and could visit when he is out because thats mon/ tues afternoon, wed any time during the day, friday any time during the day. But of course she feels hurt that she can't come freely at other times. She wouldn't come all the time tbh anyway.
So what do I do?
Do I just invite my mother over whenever I want (occasionally at weekends) until he decides to be direct and work out a solution that suits both of us - because he says "I dunno" and hasn't bothered to be direct. I feel really awkward doing so.
My mother doesn't want to speak to me because she knows in laws are coming for 3 days and I am making time for them but husband is not prepared to make time for her. What do I do about that?
What do I do about my husband's attitude towards my mother?
I do feel frustrated because I am an only child. My mum has her flaws but she has had a hard life. I wish I had my husband's support here (out of love for me) but it feels like I don't. In every other way he is a good husband.
Thanks
