Woman "becomes" lesbian, but would be "heartbroken" if husband found someone else

ThisIsMe123 said:

but I find it odd that in 50+ years of her life she decided to switch. She could have gone BI-sexual,too. I've been meaning to ask her what she thinks her orientation is...now.

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TIM,

Fifty years is a long time. Who remains the same throughout? You’d have to consider her mindset during the seasons to pinpoint the change. What does she gain in same-sex pairings she didn’t have in others? For most, it’s a combination of emotional and physical needs. Women are more attentive and emotionally demonstrative.

There’s another component. The Babylon Bee did a funny spin.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

bèlla said:

TIM,

Fifty years is a long time. Who remains the same throughout? You’d have to consider her mindset during the seasons to pinpoint the change. What does she gain in same-sex pairings she didn’t have in others? For most, it’s a combination of emotional and physical needs. Women are more attentive and emotionally demonstrative.

There’s another component. The Babylon Bee did a funny spin.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

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"As society becomes increasingly dominated by nerds, hipsters, and computer programmers, people have fixated on what they think is our biggest problem: masculinity.

“It’s just toxic and causes nothing but problems,” said Elisha Mcewen, a vegan activist and no threat whatsoever to spiders or tight jar lids. “I was sharing my feelings on masculinity with other men in my drum circle, and we all agreed that if we ever encountered masculinity, we would run far away.”
.....
“I am just so worried that somewhere out there someone is still knowingly producing testosterone,” said Wyatt Lockhart, a Twitch streamer who had never thrown a punch outside of a video game. “I constantly have to find a safe place to calm down just thinking about it.”



Ok, I laughed out loud.

Sparagmos said:

No media I consume considered this news.

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A lot of mainstream media outlets have reported this.

It’s gossip rag stuff.

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Technically it's not gossip, since the people involved in the story came out and told people themselves.
I go by the biblical definition of gossip, which is the spreading of hurtful rumors or outright lies behind a person's back.

Even CNN has done stories like this. They even let the person tell their story themselves.
I was married with 2 kids when I realized I'm gay (opinion) - CNN

MrMoe said:

A lot of mainstream media outlets have reported this.

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And? A lot of mainstream media is small minded and trashy. I don’t get the appeal.

MrMoe said:

Technically it's not gossip, since the people involved in the story came out and told people themselves.

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. Ok...so why is this newsworthy again? These people aren’t running for office or teaching Sunday school.

MrMoe said:

Even CNN has done stories like this. They even let the person tell their story themselves.

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Those are two very different stories and nevertheless I don’t see why CNN doing it makes a difference.

bèlla said:

TIM,

Fifty years is a long time. Who remains the same throughout? You’d have to consider her mindset during the seasons to pinpoint the change. What does she gain in same-sex pairings she didn’t have in others? For most, it’s a combination of emotional and physical needs. Women are more attentive and emotionally demonstrative.

There’s another component. The Babylon Bee did a funny spin.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

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She had told me she started dating a guy (prior to her same sex relationship) that was 10 years old, and admitted that he was ugly. (wow!) That she actually started dating men for their sweetness and kindness. She basically put their personality over their looks at this point in her life.

So I think she's reached a point in her life that she's looking for someone that truly cares and loves her for whatever reason. Not sure what caused this paradigm shift. But this was just before the same sex thing.

Regarding the Babylon Bee article, if you google feminity or masculinity in the church..that's a thing too or whatever. (sorry, typing this early in the morning. lo)

ThisIsMe123 said:

That she actually started dating men for their sweetness and kindness. She basically put their personality over their looks at this point in her life.

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TIM,

Perhaps the men who possessed the character she valued weren’t physically appealing. It’s difficult to analyze without knowing her backstory.

So I think she's reached a point in her life that she's looking for someone that truly cares and loves her for whatever reason.

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A suitor she loves and cares for.

Regarding the Babylon Bee article, if you google feminity or masculinity in the church..that's a thing too or whatever.

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Societal shifts in masculinity and femininity don’t always resonate with the opposite sex.

Culturally cool ≠ relationally desirable.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

Sparagmos said:

And? A lot of mainstream media is small minded and trashy. I don’t get the appeal.

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I don't see what's small minded and trashy about this. A woman decided to come out as lesbian using the media and the media decided to run her story.
Are you saying people who come out using the media and media who run these stories are small minded and trashy?

. Ok...so why is this newsworthy again? These people aren’t running for office or teaching Sunday school.

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It's not newsworthy, but like I said, this woman and the media made it news, and people are naturally going to have opinions on it. Especially on a Christian site, where people are going to have strong opinions about homosexuality and marriage.

Those are two very different stories and nevertheless

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What are the differences and how do they affect my point?

I don’t see why CNN doing it makes a difference.

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Well, you said a lot of mainstream media is small minded and trashy for running articles about a married woman with children coming out as gay. So does this mean CNN is small minded and trashy too?

This woman isn't running for office or teaching Sunday school either.

MrMoe said:

A woman decided to come out as lesbian using the media and the media decided to run her story.

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She’s a reality star celebrity on a T.V. show that makes me embarrassed to be an American. To be honest, I find the interest in celebrities (particularly ones that are shallow and untalented) and the entire reality show star thing disturbing.

MrMoe said:

It's not newsworthy, but like I said, this woman and the media made it news, and people are naturally going to have opinions on it. Especially on a Christian site, where people are going to have strong opinions about homosexuality and marriag

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But this is not uncommon. People cheat on their spouses all the time. It’s sad. The extra judgement heaped on this woman and her “cuckold” husband is discriminatory. And it’s just not interesting in and of itself unless you find homosexuality “weird.”

MrMoe said:

What are the differences and how do they affect my point?

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It amazes me that you can’t see the difference. One involves a celebrity and infidelity. The other doesn’t. One is intended to be sensational, the other is introspective and autobiographical.

MrMoe said:

Well, you said a lot of mainstream media is small minded and trashy for running articles about a married woman with children coming out as gay. So does this mean CNN is small minded and trashy too?

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You’re putting words in my mouth But I have no attachment to or adoration for CNN. It’s a place to quickly check headlines, not where I go for real journalism or deep analysis.

*flings @Sparagmos some Louboutins*

bèlla said:

*flings @Sparagmos some Louboutins*

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Catches Louboutins!

MrMoe said:

I don't see what's small minded and trashy about this. A woman decided to come out as lesbian using the media and the media decided to run her story.
Are you saying people who come out using the media and media who run these stories are small minded and trashy?



It's not newsworthy, but like I said, this woman and the media made it news, and people are naturally going to have opinions on it. Especially on a Christian site, where people are going to have strong opinions about homosexuality and marriage.



What are the differences and how do they affect my point?



Well, you said a lot of mainstream media is small minded and trashy for running articles about a married woman with children coming out as gay. So does this mean CNN is small minded and trashy too?

This woman isn't running for office or teaching Sunday school either.

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Another way to express why it disappoints me that people indulge in “trashy” fake celebrity infidelity gossip...

It’s time they could be spending watching a masterpiece exploring the moral dilemna of infidelity like Wong Kar-Wai’s “In the Mood for Love”


@bèlla might appreciate the style

Sparagmos said:

She’s a reality star celebrity on a T.V. show that makes me embarrassed to be an American. To be honest, I find the interest in celebrities (particularly ones that are shallow and untalented) and the entire reality show star thing disturbing.

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I feel the same way about the Kardashians. To this day I do not know why the Kardashians are famous. Kim Kardashian seems to be famous for being allergic to clothes.
So do you feel the same way about Caitlyn Jenner coming out as trans as you do about this woman coming out as lesbian?

But this is not uncommon. People cheat on their spouses all the time. It’s sad. The extra judgement heaped on this woman and her “cuckold” husband is discriminatory. And it’s just not interesting in and of itself unless you find homosexuality “weird.”

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The extra judgment most likely comes from the extra exposure due to her fame. I don't think people got together and decided to gang up on her just because she is rich and famous.

It amazes me that you can’t see the difference. One involves a celebrity and infidelity. The other doesn’t.

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Biblically they are both adulterers. And why does it matter if one is a celebrity? Is her story less valid because she was in a trashy tv show?

One is intended to be sensational, the other is introspective and autobiographical.

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This is subjective. Someone who didn't know she was on a tv show might think her story is introspective and autobiographical. Someone else might think the CNN headline is sensational. The two stories can be framed both ways.

You’re putting words in my mouth But I have no attachment to or adoration for CNN. It’s a place to quickly check headlines, not where I go for real journalism or deep analysis.

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Actually I was asking for clarification. That is why it was put in the form of a question. But that seems to be the logical conclusion to your statement.

MrMoe said:

So do you feel the same way about Caitlyn Jenner coming out as trans as you do about this woman coming out as lesbian?

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I must not have made myself clear. I don’t think there is anything trashy about the way this woman came out. My criticism isn’t of her, but of people here on CF who are indulging in it and casting aspersions. I don’t know if it’s because some here watch the show or because it involves homosexuality, but the fascination itself is trashy to me. Calling her husband a cuckold and acting shocked and horrified that a married woman would leave her husband for a woman is just over the top. Sadly, adultery and divorce are quite common but because this woman left her husband for another woman, she seems to be attracting a ridiculous level of attention from people on this thread.

Sparagmos said:

Sadly, adultery and divorce are quite common but because this woman left her husband for another woman, she seems to be attracting a ridiculous level of attention from people on this thread.

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I think the level of attention is directly related to her willingness to put it all out there for media consumption. Most people do not, and their stories, ridiculous or otherwise, do not attract attention.

RestoreTheJoy said:

I think the level of attention is directly related to her willingness to put it all out there for media consumption. Most people do not, and their stories, ridiculous or otherwise, do not attract attention.

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Yes, the two go hand in hand.

Sparagmos said:

I must not have made myself clear. I don’t think there is anything trashy about the way this woman came out. My criticism isn’t of her, but of people here on CF who are indulging in it and casting aspersions. I don’t know if it’s because some here watch the show or because it involves homosexuality,

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Most likely because it involves homosexuality and adultery and the breaking up of a marriage involving children. I'd like to think the majority of Christians here don't watch these sort of shows.

but the fascination itself is trashy to me.

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I don't see fascination here, I see righteous indignation, which is perfectly justified given the circumstances.

Calling her husband a cuckold

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Merriam-Webster, Wikipedia and The Free Dictionary all define cuckold as a man whose wife is unfaithful.
Definition of CUCKOLD
Cuckold - Wikipedia
cuckold
I'm sorry if this word offends you, but the person who used it is perfectly justified in using it. It's not an aspersion, it describes exactly what he is. I'm guessing this word has become politically incorrect.

and acting shocked and horrified that a married woman would leave her husband for a woman is just over the top.

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I see no evidence of acting here. Claiming people are acting would imply they have an ulterior motive. Unless you have evidence, you are just casting aspersions.

Sadly, adultery and divorce are quite common but because this woman left her husband for another woman, she seems to be attracting a ridiculous level of attention from people on this thread.

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As RestoreTheJoy explained, the level of attention is linked to the level of of media exposure. If this woman wasn't famous, she wouldn't be in the news and no one here would be talking about her.

If you think this is a ridiculous level of attention, then what would be the right level of attention?

This sounds like the wicked, selfish American woman to a T. They pursue what they want at your expense, but you're a bad person for pursuing what you want, even if it doesn't hurt them. Vindictive statement, yes, but to see what I see in a major American city, you'd truly say that truth is stranger than fiction. American women will stop at nothing to try to meet their insatiable, unreasonable "needs".

I apologize to @Sparagmos if my replies seemed too mean spirited. I see we have two completely different perspectives on this and I doubt we will change the each other's opinions, so I guess we have to agree to disagree.