If a baby is legitimately hungry then no it isn't manipulative. Otherwise though, babies routinely cry in order to manipulate their mother. I've had 4 kids, I've watched it with all of them. It's total depravity at work.
And babies who's cries their caretakers don't respond to will withdraw and if the neglect is severe enough; they will die of what's called "failure to thrive". Is "failure to thrive" a result of the infant's sin?
All children raised in institutional setting have "trust" and attachment issues. Children who grow up in environments where they aren't securely attached to a care giver, have social and relational problems their entire lives. That is a totally separate issue from morality. There are a lot of people who are externally quite moral; yet very broken on the inside.
They can change "attachment disorders" later in life, but it takes effort and determination to overcome "mental tapes" of what they think about themselves and relationships. If they don't overcome the issues; they will be emotionally dysfunctional and forever perpetuate destructive relationships either as a narcissistic "abuser" or a depressed / anxious "victim".
Third category (besides recovered individuals) are people who are "security attached" because they learned from their caregivers how to get their emotional needs met in an honest and healthy way.
I grew up in the kind of home psychiatrists read about in their text books. My mother was an alcoholic and my brother is a pedophile. I endured a lot of sexual abuse and neglect.
But for the grace of God, my dad was a decent person. He actually wanted to divorce mom and take his daughters; but because it was the 1970's, the lawyer told him he'd never get custody of us. (Which was true.) So dad stayed and did his best to try and make sure we got at least one meal a day.
It was a complicated household. There were a lot of things dad tried to get us help, (and a lot of things dad did, or didn't do out of fear) but he couldn't change the outcome ultimately. Mom died of lung cancer at 57 years old and dad died of (basically) the brokenness of life 4 after mom.
My mother certainly wasn't a believer. I don't know if my dad came to repentance just before he died or not? I didn't get to see him before he actually died because my husband would not call in sick to watch our son. When I finally got a hold of my cousin who could watch him; dad was pretty much already brain dead. I hope I'll see dad "on the light side" of eternity. What ever his outcome was though; God is still God! My mother most likely is condemned for her sin; but again - God is still God!
I became a believer at 17 years old; but it still took 30 years of counseling to "repair" the damage that had been done. I was also in the military and did clean up after Desert Storm. In 2010, I survived a catastrophic car accident that left me permanently mobility impaired. After 2 affairs, my former husband committed suicide in 2017. I have a young adult son who has autism and epilepsy. I clearly have PTSD. I've learned through much assistance over the past 30 years how to manage it. There have been several occasions (one literally) that God prevented me from killing myself.
Life as a sinner in a sinful world is extremely challenging.
My husband also believed that our son did things to "intentionally manipulate" me. I learned a lot from the people in the developmental disabilities field who worked with him, of what it actually means to "be a child". Kids aren't mini adults. They are psychologically different that adults because their brains are immature.
Infants cry because they need something either physically, emotionally or spiritually. If they can't be soothed by caregiver attention; then something is most likely physically wrong. (They call it "colic".) Medical professionals don't know why some babies get it. They think it has something to do with their immature digestive tracts (they are actually in pain) and the only thing they "know" to do about it is scream.
There were days my son would cry until he literally "passed out" from exhaustion. Nothing I did seemed to help. Feed him, change his diaper, put him in his swing, move his arms and legs, roll him around on the floor. He was clearly uncomfortable and had no means of telling anyone what was wrong; so he'd scream... for hours.
Took him to the doctor, took him to specialists. He still screamed for hours. They knew something wasn't developmentally right (at a year old he still couldn't sit independently) they didn't know what it was. He was diagnosed as having "global developmental delays" and eventually given quite an extensive regimen of therapy services (special education, occupational therapy, physical therapy and speech therapy). At about 3 years old, he was diagnosed with epilepsy. Later, he was also diagnosed with autism.
Today after being in special education his entire life and getting all sorts of services out side of school, as well as being deemed "disabled" by governmental authorities; he has become a believer too. He thinks a lot about God and life. He loves Jesus, loves mom and cares about his Internet gamer community friends. He's part of at least one Christian gamer group. His Internet gamer friends have helped him through things he didn't feel like he wanted to talk to mom about. His dad's suicide was hard on him because the relationship was fractured to begin with.
Yet, he's a thoughtful intelligent young man with a strong faith and an amount of spiritual insight that amazes me, especially considering his challenges. He will talk about some rather complex issues of faith;..... but he can't shave himself. He can't remember things, he gets confused, still has difficulty understanding things (processing speech) and still can't manage a lot of daily life tasks without assistance.
Although he exhibited a lot of difficult behavioral challenges in school and might still tell me he doesn't want to take a shower; he's "grown" a pretty obedient "kid" and there's not a whole lot of conflict in this house hold.
He's matured a lot; especially after being removed from the brick and mortar school system. He still doesn't like to leave the house much and especially now with "Rona" he doesn't like wearing a mask; but he'll do it. He had 3 things he did in the past two weeks where he left the house for something other than a doctor's appointment or a blood draw. He went to his cousin's graduation party. He went to church and he went furniture shopping with me. He picked out a really nice couch.
So, he's considering things he wants to try to see if he can earn some money. Due to the level of confusion and attention issues; he can't hold down a job in the conventional work force. He will probably end up in a supervised employment setting. (Like a sheltered workshop.) He will be the responsibility of his public school district until he's 21 because he's not capable of getting a high school diploma. Obviously he's not going to college. He can't drive. He can't take public transit independently. He will need some sort of assistance his entire life. He's currently a "special education student on home instruction" as a placement. He has two tutors; one for math and one for English and his "curriculum" is self directed. He's happy with this arrangement and for the past 3 years; (he was a homeschool student for two years; being taught by a tutors I hired) he's actually learned somethings.
I tell you these things because my son has been a valuable lesson to me that our behavior isn't always driven by sin. Sin is a factor; but it isn't the only factor that drives behavior.
"Total depravity" as a theological concept, does not mean "depraved totally". It simply means that we are completely separated from God because of both the fall and our own sin. Without the Holy Spirit making us alive; we don't want God on God's terms and we won't believe. "Our" faith is actually a work of God.
And my developmentally disabled 18 year old son (who can't even physically look after himself) understands that. That's pretty profound!
Salvation is of the Lord!
