When God is emptying us . . .

miss-a · Jun 10, 2019

Christians often say that you can't be alone and you won't make it without other Christians. But do you think it's possible that when God is emptying us, He also empties us of other people?

I find myself in a situation where the only two friends I have left have moved, so I only have them on the phone or skype. And the prospect of making new friends, when you're a single Christian woman over forty, is super slim. I don't have family, a spouse or children. I'm pretty much alone most of the time, humanly speaking. My job has me working independently, so no real prospects there.

The enemy viciously beats me up over this, trying to convince me there's something wrong with me and I'm a friendless loser. But I know I've been a good friend to people, and sometimes people leave for reasons that have nothing to do with me, and sometimes they are toxic and I need to walk away from them.

I'm very much willing to live a life of solitude if that's what the Lord wants.

So, I think my question goes something like: How strange is this? Did God do this so I wouldn't depend on people and look to Him instead? And can I survive this?

Thanks, gang. Your thoughts are appreciated.

A

Albion · Jun 10, 2019

Your church doesn't provide a pool of contacts, some of which can be friends?

Tigger45 · Jun 10, 2019

I echo Albion's question and would include other charitable organizations to get involved with.

Lily Sunflower · Jun 10, 2019

miss-a said:
And the prospect of making new friends, when you're a single Christian woman over forty, is super slim. I don't have family, a spouse or children. I'm pretty much alone most of the time, humanly speaking. My job has me working independently, so no real prospects there.

The enemy viciously beats me up over this, trying to convince me there's something wrong with me and I'm a friendless loser. But I know I've been a good friend to people, and sometimes people leave for reasons that have nothing to do with me, and sometimes they are toxic and I need to walk away from them.

Hi @miss-a . I can really relate to this, because I'm in pretty much the situation as you are. Satan has called me a loser many, many times, and I've finally recognized this as an absolute lie, and so should you. Sometimes people don't get along, not because there's anything wrong with either of them, but just because their personalities are so different (I have an especially different personality, so this happens to me all the time!

) Just keep believing that God will send the right people into your life, and in the meantime work on being the best friend to yourself that you possible can. And always remember that Jesus is the best friend that you'll ever have, and He will never leave you or forsake you.

And by the way, forum friends count too, and I would like to be yours!

turkle · Jun 10, 2019

miss-a said:
And the prospect of making new friends, when you're a single Christian woman over forty, is super slim.

I don't find this to be true at all. I'm much older than you, and make new friendships regularly. Though I'm not single, the friendships I make with other women are not couples related, they are service related. I lead a ministry in my church, and most of the women who join me become fast friends.

Are you serving? If so, there should be opportunities to meet people. Does your church have women's Bible study and fellowship? I meet lots of people at these functions. Some I gravitate towards, others I don't. It's all good.

If you are not active in your church and community, I would encourage you to start. There are always loads of service opportunities in both places, and with that comes the opportunity to build great relationships.

Andrew77 · Jun 10, 2019

miss-a said:
Christians often say that you can't be alone and you won't make it without other Christians. But do you think it's possible that when God is emptying us, He also empties us of other people?

I find myself in a situation where the only two friends I have left have moved, so I only have them on the phone or skype. And the prospect of making new friends, when you're a single Christian woman over forty, is super slim. I don't have family, a spouse or children. I'm pretty much alone most of the time, humanly speaking. My job has me working independently, so no real prospects there.

The enemy viciously beats me up over this, trying to convince me there's something wrong with me and I'm a friendless loser. But I know I've been a good friend to people, and sometimes people leave for reasons that have nothing to do with me, and sometimes they are toxic and I need to walk away from them.

I'm very much willing to live a life of solitude if that's what the Lord wants.

So, I think my question goes something like: How strange is this? Did God do this so I wouldn't depend on people and look to Him instead? And can I survive this?

Thanks, gang. Your thoughts are appreciated.

A

I'm pretty sure that this is why many Christian groups encourage women to get married in their 20s.

Regardless, your only solution at this point, is to put in direct effort into changing this. You have to determine for yourself that you want this to change, and make a plan on how to do it. Does this mean changing jobs? Does this many joining a group? Does this mean doing volunteer work? Does this mean working at the church? Does this mean moving to a new state, city, or town?

If making friends, and finding people to hang out with, was easy, everyone would be surrounded with friends. You have to make the hard choices to do what you have to, in order to change your situation.

Because there is only one clear cut truth in this story....

If you keep doing what you are doing... you'll get keep getting what you have been getting.

JCFantasy23 · Jun 10, 2019

I think there are periods of life where we may go through times alone for our benefit - if it's bothering you, then I would take that as a sign that you need to find fellowship or companionship. If not the church, you may try some other hobby orientated groups and take it from there.

Reborn1977 · Jun 10, 2019

miss-a said:
Christians often say that you can't be alone and you won't make it without other Christians. But do you think it's possible that when God is emptying us, He also empties us of other people?

I find myself in a situation where the only two friends I have left have moved, so I only have them on the phone or skype. And the prospect of making new friends, when you're a single Christian woman over forty, is super slim. I don't have family, a spouse or children. I'm pretty much alone most of the time, humanly speaking. My job has me working independently, so no real prospects there.

The enemy viciously beats me up over this, trying to convince me there's something wrong with me and I'm a friendless loser. But I know I've been a good friend to people, and sometimes people leave for reasons that have nothing to do with me, and sometimes they are toxic and I need to walk away from them.

I'm very much willing to live a life of solitude if that's what the Lord wants.

So, I think my question goes something like: How strange is this? Did God do this so I wouldn't depend on people and look to Him instead? And can I survive this?

Thanks, gang. Your thoughts are appreciated.

A

There are seasons in our life where God isolates us for the purpose of doing a deep work within us and drawing us ever closer to Him. These times can be beautiful and wonderful if we embrace them and allow God to do what He needs to do in us. It hardly means you're a loser, it most likely means you're quite a gem in God's eyes.

That said if you're interested in a email, text, and phone friend please feel free to send me a private message via the Forum I can always use another Christian friend.

A bit about myself, I've been a Christian since 1977 when I accepted Christ into my life, handing my life over to Him, I've been in full-time Ministry for 25 years, and I've been married for 34 years. I love the Lord dearly and I'm blessed by engaging with other Godly women.

Wrangler · Jun 10, 2019

miss-a said:
Christians often say that you can't be alone and you won't make it without other Christians. But do you think it's possible that when God is emptying us, He also empties us of other people?

Absolutely! Getting rid of people who are obstacles to communion with God might be an important 1st step.

WESTOZZIE · Jun 10, 2019

miss-a said:
So, I think my question goes something like: How strange is this? Did God do this so I wouldn't depend on people and look to Him instead? And can I survive this?

To me, this is not strange at all. God does separate us to Himself.
You answered your own question--of course Father wants you to depend upon Him instead of other people.
Yes you (the new creation you)will survive this....but the old you may not.

Firie trials do us good....it's where we meet the Lord in a deeper way. It's where we learn who we are and Who He is inside us. All things coming to you are of God, so we learn to give thanks for the loneliness, trusting Father alone. Reminding ourself that we died already on the cross with Jesus and now Jesus is living as us, with us, in all that we face and do. God is not testing you...you can do nothing....but God is proving Himself faithful to you. Keep giving Him thanks for this trial.

As far as the Accuser goes....he wants you to curse yourself and agree with his accusations. But you died, so who is he accusing? You are the very righteousness of God, the beloved of the Father. You are smack dab in the middle of His will. God is all in all inside of you and He provides for His sheep.

FutureAndAHope · Jun 10, 2019

miss-a said:
Christians often say that you can't be alone and you won't make it without other Christians. But do you think it's possible that when God is emptying us, He also empties us of other people?

I find myself in a situation where the only two friends I have left have moved, so I only have them on the phone or skype. And the prospect of making new friends, when you're a single Christian woman over forty, is super slim. I don't have family, a spouse or children. I'm pretty much alone most of the time, humanly speaking. My job has me working independently, so no real prospects there.

The enemy viciously beats me up over this, trying to convince me there's something wrong with me and I'm a friendless loser. But I know I've been a good friend to people, and sometimes people leave for reasons that have nothing to do with me, and sometimes they are toxic and I need to walk away from them.

I'm very much willing to live a life of solitude if that's what the Lord wants.

So, I think my question goes something like: How strange is this? Did God do this so I wouldn't depend on people and look to Him instead? And can I survive this?

Thanks, gang. Your thoughts are appreciated.

A

God will not act against His word, his will for us is that we be in fellowship. As the bible says "do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together". We should always try to be around Christian people, so they can help us, spur us on, and support us in prayer. God would not ask you to have a life of solitude.

longwait · Jun 11, 2019

miss-a said:
Christians often say that you can't be alone and you won't make it without other Christians. But do you think it's possible that when God is emptying us, He also empties us of other people?

I find myself in a situation where the only two friends I have left have moved, so I only have them on the phone or skype. And the prospect of making new friends, when you're a single Christian woman over forty, is super slim. I don't have family, a spouse or children. I'm pretty much alone most of the time, humanly speaking. My job has me working independently, so no real prospects there.

The enemy viciously beats me up over this, trying to convince me there's something wrong with me and I'm a friendless loser. But I know I've been a good friend to people, and sometimes people leave for reasons that have nothing to do with me, and sometimes they are toxic and I need to walk away from them.

I'm very much willing to live a life of solitude if that's what the Lord wants.

So, I think my question goes something like: How strange is this? Did God do this so I wouldn't depend on people and look to Him instead? And can I survive this?

Thanks, gang. Your thoughts are appreciated.

A

Yes, I believe your observation is correct. Sometimes God isolates us from other people to empty us of the world lest we become influenced by worldly people and get drawn into it. So don't think of yourself as a loser but as someone whom God considers as His own. Remember He said that He is a jealous God so He will never give you something that will take you away from Him.

Anna of the Bible lived in solitude in the temple and she was a prophetess.
Luke 2:36–38 There was also a prophet, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, and then was a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying. Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.

Off Course, you can survive this if you don't look at it as a shortcoming. I have a family of my own but each of us have our own space and each follows what they want while I spent my time alone with the Lord mostly. Besides I have noticed that after I started seeking after the Lord people I used to know plus new acquaintances have become toxic towards me. I isolate myself from toxic people too. So if I can survive this, so can you.

Joined2krist · Jun 11, 2019

I think you should take this in good faith. God is building you up while He's isolating you from people that might make you more worldly because He's preparing you for something special. Before Jesus started His ministry, He went away into the wilderness for a while, John the Baptist often went into the wilderness too. Wilderness period isn't forever, it's a time you spend with God, building your relationship with Him. Don't allow Satan make you feel strange or weird because God is working on you. God bless

miss-a · Jun 23, 2019

Thank you all so much the encouragement and support. It is helping me very much to consider this time a blessing rather than a problem.

To those of you who offered friendship, count me in. It will be a little bit before I contact you, but I will. I'm currently dealing with a wacky wisdom tooth that's depleting my energy. As soon as that's resolved. I'll check in.

bmjackson · Jun 23, 2019

hey miss-a me too!

I think my case is more on the lines that I am at the bottom of the social pile - or nearly there - in worldly terms. Aging, female, divorced, chronically sick, missed out on education and career because of being on the autism spectrum, and I reckon if I was also mixed race I would be on the very bottom of the pile. I have no family as my NPD ex alienated them including my sons and very sick people do not have friends.

I go to church but with no friendships forming. They are mostly young families besides.

I need some love to enable me to heal from cPTSD (God's way) in the absence of not having psychological help but the only time I felt loved by Christians was when I was away from home and met up with some female pastors doing a retreat. It is so true that you find out your friends when you are down. Oh yes they say they will pray for you but your antenea is as sharp as a razor for picking up insincerity.

So there you have 3 offers now

Brenda

Albion · Jun 23, 2019

bmjackson said:
I go to church but with no friendships forming. They are mostly young families besides.

Brenda

Most congregations these days are bemoaning the fact that they don't have many young people but count mainly older members. Maybe a change of congregation would be a good move in your case.

bmjackson · Jun 23, 2019

Albion said:
Most congregations these days are bemoaning the fact that they don't have many young people but count mainly older members. Maybe a change of congregation would be a good move in your case.

I don't know where you live, but in my neck of the woods I am severely limited. The church I am in is about the only one suitable doctrinaly or within suitable distance - I can walk to this one as my car has recently been scrapped.

Anyway, in old age it is just about impossible to make friends with other aging single women. They are either highly involved with their families or have enough friends to cope with. There are 2 couples my age in the church but they are also busy with grandchildren etc.

Thanks for the suggestion though.

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