- Jun 15, 2017
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How would a man go about viewing other women as if they're cousins?I agree with you. I think if he has to leave the workplace then he has a bigger problem. Even if he does all of that, there’s always going to be another attractive woman at the next place of work. I agree, the communication with her should stop and he should stop it in a very tactful way. But he’s just going to run into the same problem.
I think men and women can be friends, I think men and women can be friends with other attractive people. When I think of the women I’ve built friendships with, the thought of being attracted to them is disgusting.
I agree with you, I just think that he needs to find the root of his issue. I think men and women can be friends, if the relationship is built on genuine friendship. The thoughts of any sort of attraction should be disgusting. I’m pretty sure he has attractive cousins or maybe a sister, why isn’t he attracted to them?
As a married man he should see this woman as a young sister or a cousin. I don’t think avoiding temptation is enough, I think he has to correct himself on a fundamental level.
Biblically I disagree:
Luke 7:37-39
37 And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster box of ointment,
38 And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment.
39 Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.
This was intimate. It was not sexual but it was intimate. Jesus did not become tempted by this but the Pharisees in their own flesh saw an issue with this.
But this is what I mean by hyper-sexual. A man being a man and a woman being a woman, being intimate does not lead to sex if the relationship is genuine and built on a plutonic love. We are not animals, a man should not be attracted to his friend.
I’ve never been in a position where I’ve had to pick between any type of friend and pleasing God, my spouse and my children. I married my friend/classmate I was attracted to. I will agree that the level of intimacy a man has with his wife should be a higher level of intimacy than he has with anybody.
The women im friends with are no more or less like cousins. Intimacy beyond friendship and being brothers and sisters in Christ would be a disgusting thought. Now what this man has done is adultery, he should be able to have plutonic friends void being attracted to them. There’s not just temptation but also a character flaw.
I'm not sure that this is realistic. If it were so easy for men and women to turn off their instincts and biology, people would never run into these conflicts. Yet even in the church they're all too common. As if the moment you put a ring on your finger, all other women instantly started appearing as if they were your sister?
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